Chapter Seven

She hogs the bed.

Jim almost laughs as he realizes where he is, and more importantly who he's with as he's clinging precariously to the edge of the mattress. She's so tiny - he knows exactly how tiny she is now that his hands have run over every inch of her - but it doesn't negate the fact that she's lying diagonally across his queen sized bed, oblivious to the fact that she's effectively pushing him out of it.

And he honestly couldn't care less.

She sighs and inches closer to him; her leg entwined with his, her hand resting on his chest, her head nestled on his shoulder. This was it. He thinks with a smile as his hand runs up and down her spine. This is what he'd been waiting for.

Jim gazes down at her as he tries to gain a little more territory. He lifts her gently as he moves over so that at least he can get both legs on the mattress. He sucks in a breath and holds still as she stirs.

"mmmm." Pam murmurs as her hand slides up to rest on his cheek. She buries her nose in the crook of his neck. "Jmmm."

Just perfect, he thinks as he smiles wider and closes his eyes again.

xoxoxoxo

She's afraid to open her eyes.

Pam knows exactly where she is and who she's with and the prospect of being conscious and having to actually deal with all this is paralyzing. At least she thinks it should be.

Her head is spinning because half of her is terrified and the other half is calmer and more at peace than she's been in…years.

With her eyes still closed her hand runs down the length of his arm. Her hand covers his and she feels him shifting, his fingers grasping for hers.

This is nice. She sighs as she smiles against his neck, relaxing enough to begin to drift off again. This is perfect.

xoxoxoxo

Jim can't get enough of looking at her. Her hair is curling wildly about her face, a result of having been soaked by the rain and drying naturally. He likes the way it looks and makes a mental note to tell her so. He reaches out and tucks a strand behind her ear, his fingers moving to trace the line of her jaw before running gently across her lips. Her lips…

He remembers last night, every minute, every second. He remembers the look on her face when she walked out of the restaurant, he'd felt like someone stabbed him straight through the heart.

He remembers the way she'd looked, standing out in the rain, how at some points he couldn't tell if she was crying or not, the raindrops mixed with her tears. The conversation they had was long over due and difficult as it was he'd do it all over again, if this was the end result.

He remembers the way she kissed him, the way her mouth was tentative and passionate at the same time. It was almost like when she'd kissed him back all those months ago except, better, sweeter, longer. He can already tell that the contradiction that was Pam would fascinate him for the rest of his life.

He didn't know if he'd ever figure her out completely but couldn't wait to try.

Jim remembers the drive home, how he'd sped through two traffic lights, reaching over to ensure she was alright when he stopped short a block away from his building.

He'd been afraid when they'd finally gotten there, that the moment had passed and he'd lost her again but when his hand brushed hers she'd linked her fingers with his, holding on tight. When they reached the door to his apartment she rose on her toes, her hands gripping his shoulders, her mouth fused to his. They stood there in the hallway as if in a trance, not noticing at all how much time went by.

He remembers finally getting the door open and how they spilled onto the couch. He remembers how it felt to peel her damp clothes from her skin and how she shivered as he did. He'd been scared then, that she was having second thoughts. He gazed at her and held his breath. His fears slipped away as he saw the look in her eye. She threaded her fingers through his hair and dragged his lips back to hers.

He remembers how they made their way to his bedroom, tripping over each other's feet in the process. He remembers how she looked as she lay back on his mattress and how he suddenly his fears fell away and he just enjoyed the moment.

She's here….with me, he whispers to himself in his mind. She's mine now.

xoxoxoxoxo

She didn't want to compare. She thought it was kind of…tacky. Maybe tacky wasn't the right word but it felt wrong to make a sort of checklist in her mind. Still she found herself doing it. Before tonight she'd only known Roy.

Jim's hands are softer, his touch more gentle, his mouth did things to her that made her tremble. He'd managed to find places she didn't know could make her breath hitch and her eyes blind.

He takes his time. He pays attention. Though her eyes are closed she can feel his on her, watching her every move. She pushes the thought aside, the prospect of being watched starting to make her nervous but then his voice would whisper softly in her ear.

I love you, Pam…He says over and over as his mouth skims across her skin. I love you….

xoxoxoxo

There were times throughout the night when she'd wake up and he'd be looking at her and they'd just begin to talk. He tells her how he'd felt when she hadn't called him when she'd left Roy, how he'd been waiting for her to, how he'd have come back in a second had he known for sure she'd wanted him.

She moves closer to him and lets him hold her tight. She kisses him and says she is sorry, but he needs to understand how scared she was. She couldn't stand the thought of putting herself out there and being rejected. He knows now that it's the truth and promises her she'll never know that feeling again.

They don't talk about what happens next. This is too much already.

Morning comes and the sun rises and stings her eyes. She leans up on her elbow and scolds him for not buying blinds, that the thin curtains over his windows were worthless. He teases her back, that if she's so concerned she can help him buy new ones. Before she can even stop to think she agrees.

Pam sits up and pulls the sheet around her laughing. Jim makes a comment about how on television or in movies the sheets look like they are L-shaped, covering the women from the chest down and men from the waist. She gives him a look that says "These are the types of things you actually contemplate?" But even as she does she knows the answer is yes.

It feels normal to pull on one of his t-shirts, to sit at the counter in Jim's kitchen and eat a bowl of cereal, to shower as he runs outside to fix the parking job he did last night, to move the two tires that were hanging recklessly off the curb. It feels normal to agree without protest when he drags her back into bed, her hair sopping wet and her skin still flushed from the steam of the shower.

This time is different, she's less self conscious, and when she loudly cries out his name he's both surprised and satisfied.

She keeps waiting for it to get weird but it doesn't. It feels normal to order pizza and eat it in bed. It feels normal for his hand to inch up her thigh and under the t-shirt she wears. It feels normal for her to plant kisses on his neck as they snuggle together watching movies. She knows now when she does that he moans a little. Even though it's a beautiful day outside they don't feel guilty at all.

The day starts and ends the same way, wrapped in each others arms, content at last.

xoxoxoxoxo

Pam doesn't want to leave. She stands in his living room in her wrinkled skirt and sweater, her eyes bright with tears. She can't make her feet move; she can't take her eyes off of him. He stands there and simply says. "Stay."

She knows it's not a bad idea. She'll be here in a few weeks anyway but part of her thinks she needs some distance. She's not scared anymore, she knows now that he loves her but she thinks she should take care of things at home before she moves on completely. The fact that he asks her to stay actually gives her the strength to leave him.

"It won't be long…" She whispers against his lips as he pulls her to him. "I'll see you next weekend. You'll just have to tough it out."

"It won't be easy." He replies with a grin. "…but I'll suffer through it."

She walks a few steps away and he follows. Her hand reaches out to grasp the doorknob. "Can I be the one to alert HR?" She says with a wicked grin.

"Of what?" He asks completely confused.

"Our relationship." She replies, deadpan.

Jim understands what she's saying now. Becky works in HR. He gives her a look as he follows her down the stairs and out to the street. "Wow. You're a little vindictive Beesly. Didn't know you had it in you." He can't help but smile at the fact that Pam wants to make a statement about what has happened between them.

"There's a lot you don't know about me." She says softly as he bends his head to kiss her again. He knows what she says is true and he can't wait to find out absolutely everything.

"I love you, Jim." She says with a sigh as he pulls away.

As he bundles her up and puts her in a cab he says to himself. "Now, that I know."