Chapter Four

Beth was sleeping and Buffy returned downstairs to where Angel was. He'd offered to stay so they could talk and Buffy had readily agreed. She sat down on the sofa, gesturing for him to do the same. Neither knew where to begin so they sat in silence for a few minutes before Angel's gentle laugh bit into it.

Angel: I never thought it'd be so…

Buffy: Awkward?

Angel: (smiling) yeah

Buffy: It's difficult to know what to say, and how to say it. I mean, what happened before was…

Angel: Yeah…(long pause)

Buffy: (smiling) Why do we keep doing this?

Angel: What?

Buffy: Avoiding the topic?

Angel: It's easier that way

Buffy: I guess it is…Angel, being around you, it's just difficult. When we weren't together, although my feelings didn't change, I least I could try to forget. But when we came here. Well I knew it was going to be difficult but…just knowing you're in the same city, only five minutes away…

Angel: I know. It's all I can think about. And before, when we kissed, I couldn't help myself. It's like I know it's wrong but I can't stop

Buffy: Is it?

Angel: Is it what?

Buffy: Wrong. I mean the last time we ever really spoke about this was like (thinks) wow, nearly six years ago. A lot's changed Angel

Angel: Some things never change

Buffy: I know, I know. I'm still the Slayer, sorry A Slayer and you're still a vampire

Angel: And the curse hasn't changed. We can never be together in the way we want to be. It's not f –

Buffy: fair to me. (sighs) Jeez, this is like a re-run of the last time (pauses) I'm sorry, it's just the same old argument, the same old things. Look I had my shot at a normal relationship, I had nearly six years to try it, and it never worked out

Angel: I thought you put that down to you not being ready. Remember, cookie-dough?

Buffy: Yeah I remember. And I also remember a certain someone being pretty keen on enjoying cookie-dough me! What changed Angel?

Angel: I just want to protect you

Buffy: Again, the same old argument! Angel we've been through a lot together, we've been through Hell and we made it. You turned evil and attacked me and my friends and I still loved you at the end of it all! Don't you think I can deal with a no sex relationship?

Angel: (quietly) You're not the one I'm worried about

Buffy: (taking his hand) Look, we don't have to go fast, we could just go slow

Angel: (pulling his hand away) There is no 'fast' and 'slow' for us Buffy, there's one route and that's it. I'd love to know how slow 'slow' is because to me it seems like it would be a complete stand-still!

Buffy: Angel, don't be like this

Angel: (sighs) look, I'm just being realistic

Buffy: Do you love me? (There's a pause, Angel looks away) I have to know. Don't be afraid to tell me

Angel: Of course I love you

Buffy: Isn't that all we need to know? The other stuff shouldn't matter

They look at each other. Angel sees her eyes shining with hope and it breaks his heart.

Angel: Buffy…

Buffy: (sighs) Fine. Just go Angel

He gets up and leaves, leaving Buffy sitting on the sofa with her head in her hands.

Chapter Five

Angel walked into his apartment to find Spike sitting in his favourite chair. Great, just what he needed after this day.

Angel: Spike, what are you doing?

Spike: Waiting for you

Angel: I'm here, you can leave

Spike: You found the girl?

Angel: Yeah, we found her

Spike: How's Buffy?

Angel: (snapped) She's fine, okay!

Spike: Ooh, looks like I hit on a nerve

Angel: (dangerously) Spike…

Spike: Let me guess, you see the Slayer, you just wanna jump her bones and you're finding it pretty hard to resist her

Angel: It's none of your business Spike

Spike: You want to be with her and she doesn't want to be with you? Is that it? Found herself a new man did she?

Angel growled and pulled Spike out the chair, pinning him against the wall

Spike: Okay, guess I was wrong with that one

Angel: Just leave it Spike. Show yourself out.

Angel let him go and Spike left the apartment, rubbing his neck.

Spike: (muttering) Suit yourself. I'll find out for myself

Chapter Six

Buffy hadn't slept well that night and all day she'd been in a bad mood because of her fight with Angel. Why couldn't he just accept that it could work between the two of them? She was willing and able to survive in a relationship without sex. Sure, it would be difficult, but they could cope. She was sure they could. The only conclusion she had come up with was that he couldn't love her enough, not if couldn't survive a relationship without sex.

Spike had rung her earlier in the day asking if they could meet up at sunset, for a talk. She had agreed, she needed someone to cheer her up. And he did. Until he mentioned Angel…

Buffy: Spike, can we not talk about him?

Spike: Have an argument did you?

Buffy: (grumbled) You could say that

Spike: What about?

Buffy: Spike…

Spike: Fine, I'll drop it

They walked in silence for a few paces

Spike: So about Angel

Buffy: Spike! Oh for God's sake, you're never going to shut up are you? Fine, yes we had an argument and yes I'm angry at him

Spike: What was the argument about?

Buffy: Us

Spike: You and me?

Buffy: No not us, us. As in me and him

Spike: Oh. He wants to pick up where you left off does he?

Buffy: No, that's just the problem. He doesn't

Spike: Oh don't be a prat. Of course he does! He's madly in love with you, why wouldn't he want to? (off Buffy's look) Oh…that…

Buffy: He doesn't seem to accept that we can have a relationship without…

Spike: Well I have to say I'm with him there. I mean it is a pretty crucial –

Buffy looks at him dangerously

Spike: I mean, not very important at all. Don't know what the idiot means

Buffy: (smiles grimly) I understand what he means. It would be difficult but still, we could try right?

Spike: Well it doesn't mean to say you won't ever be able to. I mean if that prophecy…

Buffy: What prophecy? Spike?