DISCLAIMER: HG Characters do not belong to me.

A/N: The Peeta/Gale & Katniss/Dez conversations are still happening, I thank you in advance for your patience!

Chapter 73-Sadness II

Katniss sits beside Spencer in the hovercraft, chatting with him about what was going on in his life right now. He was continuing in training to become a doctor, and talked about some of the work he was doing with the military, what he was allowed to say that is. It was a nice distraction for Katniss, for the minute the squad was assembled Gale had gone into full commander mode, treating her like a stranger instead of his girlfriend. She knows a part of it is because he is being professional, he had told her about the military's rules on couples being part of the same mission and how it is not allowed. Yet here he was leading a mission with his girlfriend present. But in Katniss's mind the situation was different because she wasn't a solider. She knows the other part of his behavior is due to her actions and that he is still angry with her. She reminds herself she needs to ask him about what transpired between him and Peeta, for his comments about being unsure of their future greatly concerned her. Ever since her first vision after taking the secret herb she thought her future with Gale involved having multiple children, but now, she truly fears that wasn't her future that she saw after all. She wonders if her future was the vision she saw the second time she took the herb, having two children with Peeta. She becomes uncomfortable even thinking about it, for the vision caused her sadness, seeing her two children play on top of a graveyard. While she knows Peeta would make an excellent father, the idea of raising children in District 12 depressed her. The thought of explaining to her children when they are older that both of their parents were in the hunger games is something she would want to avoid at all cost. She pushes the thought from her mind, not wanting to spend another moment thinking about it. She tells herself that vision may not be the future either. And she knows while Peeta would make an excellent father, she knows Gale would be as well if not more. He was a provider and protector. She saw how he was with Prim, and saw how he was Posy back in 12 and now in 2. She knows that someday when he has his own child he would be the walking definition of the perfect father. He could instill discipline, love, and responsibility in a child. She knows she has to make things right, that she has to prove to him that she is still his, that despite their issues their love for one another will weather any storm. She wishes she could talk to him now, but he was currently sitting in the control room. She wonders what he is thinking about while she listens to Spencer chat on.


Gale thinks about everything that has happened in the last week and wonders how it even got to this point. He knows River coming into Katniss's life was the major turning point in their relationship, and while he loved seeing how devoted and maternal she was to him, seeing her breakdown after he was adopted just showed how unstable she could be. He knows and understands that she will never be completely normal for all intents and purposes because of everything she's been through, but her nightmares were now a thing of the past and back when he was with her in the wild territory before, he saw a much more relaxed and happy Katniss. He hopes Geffen has not destroyed her spirit completely for if he did, he contemplates if there is even a future for the two of them. He knows he loves her more than anything, but like Katniss said to him her love for Peeta was not enough to make her want to spend the rest of her life with him. He felt the same could be true for the two of them as well. He cannot risk having children with someone who could potentially run out on them should another breakdown occur. He tells himself he has to find a way to help her find herself again, for he knows he will never be completely happy if she is not a part of his life. He needs her, and he knows she needs him but in an unhealthy way right now. He curses himself for kissing her the way he did, but she has always had a certain effect on him, ever since he realized he had feelings for her the day Darius flirted with her. She was like a drug, and now that he's been with her in that way, he feels like he is almost addicted. He knows that more likely than not, they will have sex while on this mission, hence his warning to her that if they do nothing will change in regards to his feelings about what she did, and how he is still hurt and angered by her actions.

His thoughts turn to his conversation with Dez when she called him right after he returned to District 2 after Katniss left. He had just gotten back from the Capitol, and was going home to pack before the hovercraft was to pick him up. When the phone rang, he thought it was his Mother, shocked to hear it was Dez on the other line.

"Hi Gale" she says in a flat tone when he answers.

"Dez-hey. I'm surprised to hear from you."

"I'll just get right to the point, I miss Harper; can I see him?"

He is not surprised to hear that she wants to see Harper, she helped raise him after all. What surprised him was her reaching out and actually calling him, though her tone was anything but friendly.

He decides to offer her his place, explaining how he is going out of town for an unknown period of time. And that it would be great if she agreed to stay because it would take the burden off of his Mother and Posy.

"Do you have any idea of when you think you will be back?" she asks thinking over his offer.

"I think-I should be back by July 8."

July 8 was the Monday Katniss was supposed to be back in Harvest Moon. He knows if she is not back in Panem by then, she wasn't coming back.

"I think that will be fine. Is it okay if I have some friends over?"

"Sure."

"Okay, it's easier seeing my friends being right in downtown."

"Harper is at my Mom's right now, do you want to meet me over there?"

She agrees and he has just enough time to head over to Hazelle's before the hovercraft picks him up. He gets to Hazelle's and explains how Dez is coming to take Harper.

"She's staying at your place?" Hazelle asks raising her eyebrows at Gale.

"She still has some of her stuff at my place. I figured it be easier for her to stay. I didn't want to burden you again."

"I appreciate that, but-what does Katniss think?"

"I don't know what Katniss will think, it doesn't matter anyway she is gone."

"Gone?"

"She took off to go see the tribe, she left without saying goodbye."

"And you are going after her to bring her back?"

"I'm going after her to make sure she is alright. I was originally going to have her flown there during her week off from teaching. But you know Katniss, I can't make her do anything. If she doesn't come back she doesn't come back."

Hazelle sighs and says, "After all that work to get into that teaching program, she just-up and quits?"

"She still has a chance to finish."

"Well, let's hope someone up there knocks some sense into her and she comes back."

He knows his mother is going to ask him what will become of them if Katniss doesn't return, but before she can say anything else the doorbell rings, he knows it is Dez at the door. He goes to the front door and opens it.

He looks at Dez as she stands there. Her hair is back to her usual shade of blonde and it was cut shorter, just above her shoulders while before her hair went all the way down her back. While he's never been a fan of the blonde, she looks way better than she did the last time he saw her.

"Hi-come on in" and he opens the door further letting her in.

He smiles as he sees Dez bend down and hug Harper, his tail wagging happily. Hazelle gives them privacy to talk heading downstairs to watch TV.

"Where's Posy?" Dez asks when she rises to her feet.

"I think she is at a friend's house, taking advantage of her summer break."

"Thanks for letting me see him."

"Sure" and he hands to her the spare key that was once hers.

"If anything should happen-who should I call? Your mother?"

"Yeah, that works. But everything will be fine, I know it will."

"Is this-trip for business or pleasure?"

He is unsure how to answer and says, "I guess you could call it business."

She nods her head, not saying another word. She tells him that she plans to call Posy so that the two of them can hang out.

"That be great, I'm sure she would like that."

"It doesn't bother you? Me still seeing her?" she asks.

"Why would I mind? I asked you to still be a part of her life remember?"

"Well, you asked for me to still be a model for her school project."

"You became close with Posy and my Mom, I'm glad you are still in their lives."

She smiles, the first one he's seen her give him after breaking up with her. He realizes he misses her smile.

"Well, I better go. A hovercraft is coming soon to pick me up."

She informs him she plans to stay awhile to chat with Hazelle and possibly wait for Posy. They say goodbye to each other and then he heads to the office to wait for the hovercraft.

When he gets to the Capitol, he is informed that he will be accompanying a small group of soldiers assigned to search for Katniss, and that they have daily access to a small hovercraft but that the hovercraft has to be returned to the Capitol each day. The President explains to Gale that they will be sending remote cameras to the Sioux tribe to monitor in case Katniss arrives there. She says the cameras will be far away so the images coming in will not be the best.

For the next couple of days he goes out with the team, searching endlessly. It was like looking for a needle in a haystack. He knows Katniss has a map to the Sioux but he has never seen it, and has no idea which direction to look in for there were multiple ways to get to the Sioux tribe. The search becomes tedious and he wonders how long the President will allow him to look for her.

When he returns to the Capitol at his usual time of 5 pm, he is informed that he is to go to the President's mansion at once. When he gets there, he is shocked by who is sitting inside the President's office-Haymitch.

"Gale-please sit" President Paylor says gesturing for him to take a seat in front of her desk, Haymitch already sitting down in the other seat.

"What can I help you with Madame President?" Gale asks cautiously, for Haymitch has only glared at him since he entered.

"Haymitch arrived at the Capitol this morning asking to speak with me, he's concerned about Miss Everdeen." she responds.

"Concerned about her well-being, no thanks to you" Haymitch says with disgust in his voice.

"Haymitch…." Paylor warns.

"I know, I know-sorry. Peeta and I, we got letters from Katniss, she said stuff that concerned us."

"When did you get the letter?" Gale asks, having a good idea of when she sent them.

"Three days ago."

His suspicions are confirmed, "She mailed them right before she left" he says.

"And where did she go?"

"I think you know where."

Haymitch scoffs saying, "To be with them. She's bored with you already Hawthorne?"

"Excuse me?" Gale says rising in his seat.

"Haymitch! Enough" Paylor says, her tone relaying that it was the final warning.

Haymitch throws his arms up in surrender, signaling that he understands. Gale glares at him as he sits back down.

"We have been sending a hovercraft each day to search for her" Paylor says trying to calm the tension in the room between the two men.

"But you haven't found her." Haymitch says accusingly.

"We will" Gale says reassuringly.

"What if she is not going to the tribe?"

"She is, trust me."

"I trusted you to keep your distance from her, look how that turned out."

"I am not going to apologize for anything that has happened between us" Gale says, surprising himself how calm he is at this moment.

"I don't think she is going to the tribe, I think she is just-running away."

"What makes you say that Haymitch?" Paylor says, showing concern.

"In her letter she just, sounded-so lost."

"She's- been having a hard time lately" Gale says, not giving away any more details in regards to what has been going on with them the past few months.

"Sorry Hawthorne, but it sounds like she started having a hard time when she got together with you."

Gale doesn't respond, looking down at the floor instead.

"We may have to start sending out tracking locators, if she doesn't show to the Sioux tribe by the end of tomorrow" Paylor says breaking the silence.

Haymitch sighs and says, "Hopefully she shows up there, I have a bad feeling about all this."

"She has a distress watch, if she activates it, we can get to her in less than 30 minutes. Along with the hovercraft we are sending out, we have one on standby in District 9." Paylor's words making Haymitch feel slightly better.

She dismisses Haymitch, speaking with Gale after he leaves about how the search is going.

"She's going to the tribe, I know she is." Gale says with certainty.

"If she's not there by tomorrow, than would it be safe to say something happened to her?"

"I hope it doesn't come to that."

"Haymitch and Peeta will be staying in the Capitol until Katniss is found and is safe."

He nods his head, understanding completely that they would stay.

His thoughts come back into the present, not wanting to think about the conversations that happened the next day when Katniss still wasn't found.


When the hovercrafts finally land, it is almost dark. Tracking locators had been sent out from District 9 earlier in the day, giving them coordinates of where the Jay Killer's camp was.

Gale along with five other soldiers, head to the camp to scout the area. Katniss waits anxiously with Spencer and rest of the team at the Hovercraft, helping to get tents set up for the night. They come back almost three hours later.

Gale explains to Katniss and the rest of the team that the group was large, with tents spread out. The plan is to make a move before dawn tomorrow.

"There is a tent that appears to be monitored, different people taking turns standing guard. I think it is safe to assume the hostage is in the tent" Gale says to the group, not making eye contact with Katniss.

He orders everyone to turn in for the night, heading to his own tent. Katniss has her own personal tent as well, it was the smallest tent, but it was her own. She was grateful she didn't have to share a tent with anyone.

Her mind is racing as she tries to sleep, trying to get into a comfortable position to sleep with her cast. She wants to go to Gale, but decides to stay put. It is late and they need to leave extremely early tomorrow, for the hike to the Jay Killers camp was a little over an hour.

She is not sure how long she is staring, laying on her side. She begins her habit of repeating Sioux words in her head when suddenly she hears her tent zipper open. She leans up and sees Gale enter her tent, zipping the tent closed once inside.

He is silent as he bends down and takes off his boots and outer jacket and top, leaving him only wearing his pants and a black sleeveless shirt.

She looks at him without saying a word, she assumes he plans to stay. She sits up as he kneels down beside her, she reaches out and touches the side of his face in comfort.

He looks down at the ground as her hand continues to touch his cheek, he then leans in and begins kissing her, as she did on the hovercraft earlier in the day, she eagerly kisses him back, pulling his face closer to hers. They continue to kiss for a long time, Katniss sliding her dominate arm down his front, trying to unbutton his pants. He inhales deeply as he moves her hand out of the way and pulls away from her, a look of sadness on his face.

"Stay" she says pleadingly as he begins gathering up his clothes.

He turns to face her and says, "I can't."

And without another word he unzips the tent and leaves.