Chapter Eighteen

A few days later…

Angel had been on a new case, so he hadn't seen Buffy for two days, and he'd missed her. After he'd wrapped up the case, he didn't even think of going to sleep. He knew what he wanted. Buffy. When he'd got to the Slayer School, Willow said she was sleeping, but sent him up anyway, saying Buffy would want to see him.

He went up to her apartment and smiled softly as he watched her sleep. He sat down on the edge of her bed and just barely brushed his fingers across her cheekbone, not enough to wake her. She murmured softly in her sleep and shifted so she was closer to him. He noticed the black bags under her eyes, the same ones that had been under Willow's, and that were under his. They were all exhausted. He didn't want to wake her, she needed her sleep.

He got up and was about to walk to her door when he heard her softly mumble his name. He turned around and she was rubbing the sleep out of her eyes and sitting up.

Buffy: Angel

Angel: Hey

Buffy: What are you doing here? Is something wrong?

Angel looked down, embarrassed. He felt stupid now, just coming here because he missed her.

Angel: No, no, nothing's wrong…I just…you know I've been working that case and…well I…I missed you

Buffy's lips curved upwards in a small smile. She loved it when he stuttered. And he'd missed her. Her heart swelled with love.

Buffy: You're sweet. And I missed you too

She patted the bed next to her, indicating that he should come and sit beside her. He was sorely tempted but he stayed where he was. She needed to sleep, and sitting on her bed with her…he didn't know if he could bear it.

Angel: No, I should go. You need to get some sleep

Buffy: Come sit with me. Please

She fixed him with an adamant stare so he did as she asked. She rested her head on his shoulder and draped an arm over his stomach, curling up to him.

Buffy: I've missed this

She moved her head until she was level to him then gently pressed her lips to his. She pulled away by just a few millimetres to look at him. His eyes had darkened with lust, and she was sure hers mirrored the same desire. He quickly closed the distance between them, kissing her deeply. The kiss escalated until he was leaning over her, pressing her into the headboard. He pulled away slowly to give her time to breathe.

Buffy: Angel, I…

Angel: I know. Me too

Buffy: I want it more than anything. It's so hard

He looked away, sadly. Then she began to pull his shirt over his head. He stopped her half way but she shook his hands off and threw his shirt to the floor. Then she moved down the bed and took his shoes off.

Angel: What are you doing?

Buffy: You need sleep too

She pulled the covers over them both and drew him down with her into the bed. She rested her head on his chest, drawing pattern on his stomach with her fingers. He wrapped an arm around her, keeping her close.

Angel: I'm sorry Buffy. I wish we could…

Buffy: It's not your fault. Besides, as long as I have you, I can deal

Angel: Why do you want me?

Buffy: Because I love you. That's all I need to know

Angel: You're so…I love you too

I love the time and in between

The calm inside me

In the space where I can breathe

I believe there is a distance I have wandered

To touch upon the years

Of reaching out, and reaching in

Holding out, holding in

I believe this is heaven to no one else but me

And I'll defend it long as I can be

Left here to linger in silence if I choose to

Would you try to understand?

I know this love is passing time

Passing through like liquid

I'm drunk in my desire

But I love the way you smile at me

I love the way your hands reach out and hold me near

I believe

I believe this is heaven to no one else but me

And I'll defend it long as I can be

Left here to linger in silence if I choose to

Would you try to understand?

Ooh the quiet child awaits the day when she can break free

The mould that clings like desperation

Mother can't you see I've got to live my life

The way I feel is right for me

Might not be right for you but its right for me

I believe this is heaven to no one else but me

And I'll defend it long as I can be

Left here to linger in silence if I choose to

Would you try to understand?

Buffy curled in closer to him, throwing a leg over one of his. Angel dropped a light kiss to the top of her head and she sighed contentedly. It was perfect.

Angel felt Buffy relax completely and heard her breathing slow. He gently ran his fingertips up her back and he pulled her even closer, letting sleep overtake him too. There was no where else he'd rather be than with her.

(lyrics – Elsewhere by Sarah McLachlan)