Title: X-mas with the Sins

Author: ZRBxSTITCHES

Summary: It is winter again. Just another day with no plot whatsoever. We wouldn't have it any other way!

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA... If I did, I would be bathing naked in a tub full of money.
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It was a even more snowy day in Underground Central. The homunculi were all awake and accounted for in the anteroom.
Dante had called them there for some sort of...lecture.
At that moment, Dante walked into the room.

"Quiet. Quiet, thank you." SHe said solemnly. Then, she used alchemy to transmute chairs and desks for her students.

"Now, we are here to learn about basic life. Eventually,
when what-his-face creates the Philospher Stone, you can become humans and my beauty will be eternal! MWAHAHAHA"
She laughed.

"Beauty?" Greed questioned. Dante, then transmuted a statue to throw at Greed.

"Now, do you all have questions about human life?" Dante asked.

Envy raised his hand. "Yes, will I still be able to turn into Pri--I mean, will I still be able to turn into other people?" Envy asked.

"No. The process will be lost." Dante replied.

"damn...and I loved looking at the mirror while I was Pride..." Envy muttered to himself.

Greed raised his hand. "Hey, will we still be able to have unprotected sex without the worry of children"
Greed asked.

"Afraid not." Dante relied.

"What a shame... Sorry Lust, Sloth...Pride." Greed apologized.

"...It's okay!" Pride said popping out from behind a tree.

"That's okay, Greed. We found someone better." Lust and Sloth said in unison looking at eachother. At that, moment they began to make-out.

"WHOAH...LESBIAN ACTION!" Wrath screamed.

"Oh my god...Cover your eyes." Envy said, placing his hand over his eyes.

Greed was busy admiring the red pens that Dante handed out. "Where did you get these pens? Such a vibrant color. What animal did you have to drain to get this color." Greed asked.

"Kittens..." Dante replied.

"Kittens are delicious..." Gluttony drooled.

Enough questions. Go play in traffic.

Later that night...

Sloth roamed the mansion, looking for something to do.
She eventually made her way to the roof of the cathedral.
Greed was sitting on the rail and staring up at the sky.

"Oh what are you doing up here?' Sloth asked.

"Trying to comprehend the perilous journey we call life"
Greed answered.

"Here's how I look at it. We live and die, but it's what we do with our life that counts. Even though we are going to die, it's the fun we have during the time." Sloth told him solemnly.

"...oh, what? Did you say something?" Greed asked.

"Uh! Never mind." Sloth replied.

"Good!" At that moment, Greed pushed Sloth over the edge of the cathedral. Greed then turned back into Envy.

"Happy Halloween, bitch!" Envy yelled to Sloth.

Elsewhere...

"Wrath, hold still!" Dante screamed at the hyperactive Wrath.

"NO, YOU UGLY WITCH!" Wrath screamed back.

Dante was trying to bathe Wrath, but obviously he didn't want to cooperate. Dante, eventually, got fed up with him and cracked him in the head with a baseball bat.
(Where does she get all those things)

She finished up, placed Wrath in bed, and prepared for the party in Central.

Lust, Envy, Sloth, Greed, and Dante made their way to the foyer. They planned on going to get a drink for a while.

"Are we going to walk?" Greed asked.

"Don't worry, we'll take my Mustang." Envy then pulled on a leash and out popped Roy Mustang.

"YAY! PIGGY-BACK RIDE!" They shouted in unison.

They all climb onto Envy's Mustang and headed off into Central.
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THE END

Sorry if this one doesn't seem as random as the other ones.
You all are sucking the random out of me. But thank you for the reviews. They're really worth while.

KILL GEORGE BUSH AND SAVOR THE MOMENT!