She raced along the water's edge. She didn't know how long she'd been running, but she couldn't make herself stop.
'Stop it, dorkus! You know I hate exercise. This is not my favorite reason to sweat,' Lilly complained, running beside her.
'I can't. I can't stop,' Veronica gasped between paces.
Lilly grabbed her arm, forcing her to halt. 'Running this far hasn't done anything. When are you going to see how stupid you're being?'
Veronica strained against Lilly's hold on her arm. 'I have to go. Why are you trying to make me stop? You, of all people, should know why I have to keep going.'
'Of course I know. I know everything. Like the fact that you're being a moron. Just trust me, V. Do you even know what you're running from? I don't think you do.'
'What are you talking about! I know exactly what I'm running from. And I can't go back. There's no going back.'
She wrenched her arm from Lilly's hand and took off again. Behind her, Lilly stood for a moment, shaking her head, before vanishing. Down the beach, the sound of a motor could be heard. A bright yellow XTerra came into view.
Veronica woke up with a start. This was the fifth time in two weeks that she'd dreamt of Neptune. Sometimes it was Lilly who spoke to her. Sometimes it was Duncan. Sometimes Meg showed up. They all told her the same thing: Stop running. And it always ended with that damn XTerra roaring to life behind her. The closer she got to Thanksgiving, the more frequent and more vivid the dreams were becoming. And it was starting to piss her off.
She was going back for the week, wasn't she? Finishing her midterms and taking a couple of extra days so that she'd have more time to spend with her family, like a good daughter. She'd made plans to see Mac. Why were they all accusing her of running? She was making a life for herself. Wasn't she entitled to move on? Didn't she, of all people, have a right to start over? And what the hell did Logan's car have to do with anything? They hadn't spoken since graduation. 'Epic love, my ass,' she thought. Fine, so she made a point of not thinking or speaking about him. And maybe part of her was still a little bitter about how everything went down. But given the way they'd started, who could be surprised at how it ended? She wasn't running away from Logan. If anything, he'd done all the running.
Frustrated that she was thinking about him, and that it still pissed her off, she threw back the covers with energy and got out of bed, eliciting a whimper from the ball of fur at the foot of her bed.
"Come one, Tag," she said, as she threw on a pair of sweats and a sweatshirt. The puppy didn't move. "Tagteam! Time to go out! Time for a walk!" At the word 'walk', the puppy bounded off the bed, and raced to the door, tail wagging. She clipped on his leash, and they went out into the cold November air. Damn, she should be used to winter by now. A whole year in Chicago, and she still forgot to take a coat with her sometimes.
When they got back inside, she looked at the clock and realized that she was going to be late to work. Getting the internship with the Chicago Police Department had been hard enough. She couldn't blow it by being late. How many criminal psychology grad students actually got to work on real cases? Besides, she loved her job, and not just because it helped pay her rent. The grisly side didn't bother her. Sure, it always touched a nerve deep down. She'd experienced enough to empathize with the victims and their families. But it was easier to remain detached when they were strangers. She never got over the thrill of helping to bring the bad guy to justice.
She picked up a cup of coffee on her way, and made it to work 1 minute late. Close enough. She got lucky this morning- traffic on Lake Shore Drive had been light and the bus got there on time. You just never knew with the CTA. She made her way to the small, cluttered desk shoved into a corner that was designated as hers for the duration of her internship. A few of the officers greeted her. Being welcome in a police station was a pleasant change for her. It felt more like what she'd known during her father's reign as Sheriff than what she'd endured during Lamb's. She didn't know the current Sheriff in Neptune. He'd replaced Lamb a few years back. Carter, Connor…something like that. It didn't matter. He didn't know her. He had no reason to.
Damn it! That's the second time today she'd thought of Neptune, and it was only 9:00am. Damn that stupid invitation. Damn Thanksgiving. Just plain damn. And above all, damn Neptune. Unlocking her files, she opened the current case and turned her mind away from old demons and on to current ones. There was a carjacking rapist-killer in the Lakeview/Wrigleyville area. He'd already gotten four girls in the past 2 months. She was working with the police and the psychologist on retainer towards creating a profile, in the hopes that it would help nab him before he nabbed his next girl. She hadn't told her father much about this current case. He'd only worry, especially if she mentioned that the last girl had been taken only two blocks from her apartment. Then again, she lived in the hip, 20-something part of town, and that's exactly what the rapist went for. Hip 20-somethings. Not that he social life was all that hip lately. Midterms had a way of killing social butterflies. Which reminded her…she was supposed to go out for drinks tonight with Sasha, to celebrate the end of midterms and the beginning of Thanksgiving break. She sent Sasha a brief text message, confirming their plans, and then shut down all thoughts about the outside world. There was a killer on the loose.
Veronica showed the bouncer her ID, and walked inside the bar. She'd used her real ID this time. Sometimes she got a kick out of using one of her old fakes, even though she was 23 now. After all, she'd done good work on them back in the day. It'd be a shame to waste them.
She was glad Sasha picked a more lounge-type venue this time, instead of a loud club. She was tired, and just wasn't up to dancing and screaming to be heard. All she wanted was a drink or two, and some chill time with her gal pal. She spotted Sasha sitting in a corner booth, flirting with the waiter. He was cute, in that overly trendy, spiked bangs and beaded necklace kind of way. Sasha went for trendy guys. Then again, Sasha just went for guys. They were an odd pair, but somehow they worked. Sasha got Veronica out of her apartment and into the real world. Veronica kept Sasha closer to the planet Earth. Sasha spotted Veronica and waved. Veronica waved back, to show that she saw her, and managed to squeeze past a throng of guys to the booth. She slid in, exchanged air kisses, and looked up at the waiter.
"What kind of bourbon do you have?" she asked.
"Ummmm….Jim Beam, Jack Daniels and Maker's Mark. I think," he answered, looking slightly surprised. Veronica guessed that not too many girls ordered bourbon.
"Maker's, please. On the rocks."
"You're so hard-core, V," Sasha teased. She always liked to make fun of Veronica for her choice of drinks. "I'll take an apple martini, please. With an extra cherry."
The waiter flashed her a smile, and left to go get their drinks.
"You know, I'm tempted to say something about that extra cherry, but somehow I'll restrain myself," Veronica remarked. Sasha grinned.
"You and your self-control. I just don't know how you do it."
"Years of practice, my young Padawan apprentice. Then a Jedi master you too can be."
Sasha laughed, and mimed swinging a light saber.
"I don't think the Force is all that strong in me, V. But let's talk about something more interesting."
"Ok, what's his name?"
"Who?"
"The phrase 'something more interesting' only means one thing in your world. So what's his name?"
"This may come as a surprise to you, Ms. All-Work-And-No-Play, but there is no guy this time. I'm still seeing Mark, and it's still going well, and I have nothing new to report since we talked about him yesterday."
Veronica gasped. "Then what will we talk about?"
Sasha grinned mischievously. "I was thinking that we'd talk about…you."
"Me? Honey, you're cute, but you have no chance with me."
"Seriously, V. What's up with you?"
"Nothing. Been busy, that's all. Work, school. Same as you."
"Not buying it, baby. You're always busy with work and school. You're not always preoccupied and broody. So, I repeat myself. What's up?"
"Me, broody? I have a strict No Brooding policy. Violators are punishable by a heavy fine and thorough lashing. You're confusing me with your other brilliantly witty and vivacious blonde friend."
Sasha just looked at her, not saying a word. Trendy the Waiter came with their drinks, and she didn't so much as wink at him. She just picked up her drink and took a sip, all the while still looking at Veronica.
Veronica sighed. She should have known that she wouldn't get past Sasha so easily. It's part of why they were friends. Despite their many differences, Sasha was just as tenacious. Or stubborn, depending on how you looked at it.
"Look, it's nothing. I'm just not looking forward to going home, that's all."
"You're not looking forward to seeing your father? Or Wallace? Or Alicia and Darrell? Try again, V. I know how much you love your family, because you talk about them all the time."
"I didn't say I wasn't looking forward to seeing my family. I said I wasn't looking forward to going home. I just don't like Neptune."
Sasha looked down at her drink for a minute. She was debating whether or not to say something, and then made up her mind.
"Do you remember the night that Daniel dumped me?"
"Sure. Which reminds me…I promised Jose Cuervo a rematch. This time, I'm kickin' his ass."
"Right…do you remember what we talked about?"
"Ummmm….the memories are fuzzy around the edges, but I remember it having something to do with men being evil spawns of Satan and the women who love them."
"Bingo. I talked about Daniel. And Jim. And Ben. And you talked about Duncan and how you got over him. And I asked you how you could forgive so easily. Do you remember what you said?"
"Nope. I have no recollection of that part of the conversation. Nor do I remember forgiving Duncan easily."
"But that is what you said. You said, 'Forgiving Duncan wasn't easy. But forgiving Logan is impossible.' It was the first and only time you've ever mentioned anyone named Logan."
Veronica squirmed on the inside, and hoped it didn't show. She must have really been blitzed to mention Logan. Looking Sasha in the eye, she asked, "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Don't play dumb, V. You may be blonde, but the blonde act just doesn't suit you."
"Look, Sash. I really don't have anything to say about Logan. It's old history. In the past. It stays there."
"I'm not trying to force you to talk about it. I'm just asking if that old history is what freaks you out about going back. You forgave Duncan. You came to terms with losing Lilly. You let go of all that crap from high school, or so you said. But you hate going back. And that tells me that you haven't let go of all of it."
"And here I thought that psychology was my gig. You want me to be honest? Fine. There was a boy named Logan and a girl named Veronica. They had a history. But it's old news. We haven't even spoken since high school. So I don't see how he's a part of my life now. It's not Logan. It's just that going back to Neptune brings back all of those old memories of Lilly's death and my mom leaving and all of that crap. It's hard for me to leave it behind me when I'm there. That's all. Honest."
Sasha looked at her for a minute.
"If you say so, V. Now…did I tell you what Mark said on the phone last night before we went to bed?"
