Veronica ran along the beach with Backup and Tagteam. She just couldn't leave the puppy in Chicago for the week, and couldn't bear the thought of boarding a puppy. Besides, she thought he and Backup would have fun playing. The innocent pleasure of playing with the dogs only lasted for so long, though. Wallace's "news" kept coming back to her.
It was so surreal that she didn't know how to deal with it. Five year with no contact, and now he was coming for dinner? He knew she'd be there, and still didn't back out of the invitation? It just didn't make sense. If he'd wanted to get in touch with her, he would have. He'd been back in America for two years. And if he'd kept in touch with Wallace, he'd have an easy way of getting her email or phone number. So the only conclusion is that he hadn't wanted to get in touch. Which suited her just fine. She had nothing to say to him anyway. Enough had been said on graduation day.
She sat down on a rock, watching the dogs play with a ball. She never let herself think about that last conversation. Now it was clear that she'd have to. If she was going to be sitting across from Logan Echolls in under 24 hours, she'd have to remind herself. It didn't take much effort to recall that day.
Everyone was milling about in their caps and gowns. Veronica had already hugged her father and was looking for Wallace. She'd lost him in the crowd. When she finally spotted him, he was standing in a knot of basketball players. She could wait. She turned around, and ran right into someone. A pair of hands steadied her, and she looked up into Logan's eyes. The half-formed apology died on her lips.
They'd barely spoken since his father's acquittal. There was so much to say and no way to start. She suddenly realized that they'd been standing there staring at each other, and she flushed slightly.
"Congratulations," she managed to say. He blinked at her, as though he, too, had just realized that he'd been staring.
"Yeah, you too." Neither one could think of anything to say, but neither could just walk away. It was always their problem. An awkward silence started to settle, and then they both spoke at the same time.
"Look, Logan…"
"Veronica…"
"Go ahead."
"No, you go.
"Really, it's ok. What were you going to say?"
"I'm leaving." The words just tumbled from his lips.
Veronica was puzzled.
"The after party is starting already? I thought you'd give everyone at least a full half hour to high five each other."
A ghost of his usual half-smile turned up a corner of his mouth.
"I meant that I'm leaving Neptune. Tomorrow."
"School's out for summer, huh? Blonde barmaids in Berlin, chic leggy brunettes in Paris…you better eat your Wheaties, 'cause you'll need to keep up your energy."
He didn't take the bait, which surprised her. He just looked at her, and then replied, "This isn't vacation, Veronica. I'm not coming back."
"What?" It wasn't the most clever of replies, but she was completely thrown. Whatever she'd been expecting him to say- and she'd learned long ago not to have expectations where Logan Echolls was concerned- this certainly was not it.
"You need me to spell it out?"
"I already won the Spelling Bee. I think I can manage." His obvious frustration was rubbing off on her. Everything she'd wanted to say to him was suddenly pointless. The words just dried up in her mouth, just as the hope dried up in her heart.
"That's all I get? Sarcasm?"
"What am I supposed to say, Logan? Have a great trip?"
"What am I supposed to do? Move back in with Daddy Dearest? Live at the Neptune Grand?"
She looked up at him, her eyes glistening. "Spanning years and continents, huh?"
"What?"
She shook her head. "Right…I was the only one there for that conversation. Too bad I have to be here for this one."
"You don't. You've been great at avoiding conversations with me."
"You don't get to be angry with me right now. I have the monopoly on angry. You don't talk to me for weeks, and then the first thing out of your mouth is 'Have a nice life, Veronica' and you're getting angry with me?"
"What about you? You come knocking on my door, talking about epic relationships, run off without letting me say a word, and then avoid me. I think I'm entitled to be just a little bit bothered by that. Then again, I should be used that from you by now."
"Because you tried oh-so-hard to talk to me? I don't remember you calling. I don't remember you dropping by. But I do remember Kendall's hands running all over you. Seems like you made it pretty clear how you wanted to spend your time."
Logan laughed, but the sound was bitter. "Now I get it. You're jealous, and you've been sulking."
"Isn't there a bottle somewhere for you to drown yourself in?"
"Tsk, tsk…resorting to insult and innuendo. Can't handle the truth, Veronica?"
"You wouldn't know the truth if it was giving you lap dance."
"You offering? Because I'd like to see that."
"Speaking of innuendos… this conversation is over."
"A conversation? Is that what this was? I thought it was another 'Blame Logan For Everything' session."
"You want the truth, Logan? I don't blame you for everything. I only blame you for one thing."
"Ooooh, tell me, tell me, tell me! I'm dying to hear it."
"Good, 'cause I've been dying to say it. You're a coward, Logan Echolls. The minute something gets difficult, you cut and run or you hide behind your Bad Boy routine. That's the only thing I blame you for."
"Paging Dr. Kettle. You have a phone call from Ms. Teapot… You're the Ginger Rogers of the avoidance waltz. Slap on a thick layer of sarcasm and retreat into the World of Veronica."
"I'm not the one leaving, Logan."
"You left a long time ago, Veronica. You died the same day that Lilly did."
She opened her mouth, and then closed it again. Everything she had wanted to say to him turned to dust on her tongue. She gave him a long, hard look, and then turned and walked away. There was no point in saying any of it now. So much for epic love. Too bad she'd actually believed in it.
Feeling a warm, wet tongue on her ankle brought her out of her reverie. Tagteam had flopped down at her feet. Backup sat next to him. She scootched off the rock and sat on the sand next to them, petting one with each hand.
You died the same day that Lilly did.
It hurt all over again. The anger, the frustration, the sheer shock and pain. But worst of all was the conviction that it could have ended differently. If she had spoken first, would it have made a difference? If she'd kept her cool, would he have said something else? If she had tried harder to talk to him after the trial, would he still have decided to leave?
They hadn't exchanged a word since that day. He left the next day for a tour of Europe, and then started school in London. Three years later, he got a business degree and came back to America. Last she'd heard, he was living in New York. He'd never come back to California, as far as she knew. He probably had his own demons. So why was he back now? And what was she supposed to say to him?
With the memories swirling through her head, Veronica covered her face with her hands. And, for the first time in five years, let herself cry.
