Morning, Loves!
Welcome back. This chapter was inspired by a conversation that got quite out of hand with DaniDarlingxx, so we can thank our combined weirdness for this one!
All mistakes are on me.
Chapter Thirty-Six: Edward
November 14, 2022
Cambridge, England
"Babe!"
The knife I'm holding slips and nearly slices my fucking finger open when Bella comes bursting into the flat screaming.
"Bella?" I ask, dropping everything and running toward her. We nearly collide in the hall.
I reach out to steady her as she teeters, her hands clasped to her chest. "What's wrong?"
It takes me a second to realize she's excited.
"Look what I found!" She opens her palms and I stare at the small ball of spikes cupped between her gloves.
"Uh…" before I can form a sentence, she keeps talking.
"Who the hell would just let a hedgehog out in the wild like that? Without any way to fend for itself?"
I stare at it, then her.
"Babe, that's not a pet." It's still curled up, but it could decide to uncurl any second.
"What the hell are you talking about? Of course it is!" she brings it near her face and it takes all I have to stop myself from smacking it out of her hands.
"Bella, that's a wild animal."
She ignores me, shifting it from palm to palm as she starts to take off her coat. It must be pretty young, because it fits in a single hand.
"No, look how sweet it is," she argues, tossing her coat on the ground.
I'm going to lose my fucking mind. "Babe, that's wild and we need to put it back because who knows what sort of diseases it has." Can that hurt the baby? Shit, we need to get rid of this thing.
"I'm going to call him Sonic."
"You can't keep him."
"Wait, is it a he?" She's flat out ignoring me, and she lifts up the hedgehog, trying to take a peek at its belly. "Show me your junk, tiny friend!"
Fucking Christ.
"Bella, we have to put that thing outside."
She looks up at me. "Edward, it'll die. I'm not about to abandon this poor thing when it's already been abandoned once in its life."
I can't stand it. I pull my phone out of my pocket, typing without looking so I can keep an eye on the creature. Is it a rodent? I don't even know, all I know is that it's wild and it could potentially harm my family.
"Look up what a hedgehog penis looks like," she says, glancing at my phone.
I can only choke at her request.
"Bella, look," I say, flashing her my phone. "Hedgehogs are wild in the United Kingdom."
She glances at my phone, frowning slightly. "It says they are found in parks. I found him on the road."
Oh my god.
"Bella..." I start.
"Look up what they eat. I'll make him some food and then we'll hit amazon for some tiny little socks. How fucking cute is that?"
"Babe, you've picked up the UK equivalent of a possum," I tell her. "Go put it back."
"No!"
My god she's stubborn. She's giving me that defiant as hell glare that I usually get off on, but right now, it's just pissing me off. Before I can say anything else, Bella yelps, the hedgehog nearly falling from her hands. "That fucker bit me!"
I smack my hand to my forehead and groan. "Fantastic. I'll get a box, you put your coat back on."
Bella looks up at me suspiciously. "Are you going to put Sonic in the ground?"
I grunt. "No. We're going to the doctor to make sure it doesn't have any diseases that can hurt you or the baby."
She huffs, bringing the hedgehog up to eye level. It's uncurled enough to glare back at her. "Betrayer."
I roll my eyes as I leave the room to get a fucking box.
