Rin-chan: Hope you like reading this chapter as we as we liked writing it.
Kei-chan: Thanks to everyone who reviewed!
Chapter Five - Pranks, Kuma-chan, and Flying Toast
The next morning, almost impossibly early, Mika slipped out of bed. She gathered some 'supplies' and tip-toed through the house. She crouched next to Tohma - who was still on the floor, lying on his stomach - and resisted the urge to cackle evilly.
Being as quiet as possible, she set to work. Once she had finished with her husband, she set out to find her youngest brother. Tatsuha was sprawled on the couch, drooling, and mumbling Ryuichi's name in his sleep. Mika made a face, before smirking.
After she had gotten back at the perverted young monk, she moved on to her other brother. She sighed. 'I wish he was drunk… I could have had so much fun.' Disappointed, but not letting it get her down, she quickly got her revenge.
Lastly, she very quietly walked outside to Shuichi. She tied him to the Sakura tree he fell asleep under, and an extremely evil grin crossed her face.
CLICK
A blood-curdling scream was heard, jerking everyone from their peaceful slumber. Yuki choked on the celery stick his sister had unforgivingly put in his mouth. He just made it into the bathroom before he threw up.
Tatsuha awoke with a jump. He sat up quickly, and felt very… unbalanced. He frowned, and lifted a hand to scratch his head.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! I'VE GONE BALD!"
Tohma woke with a snort, sitting up and blinking blearily. He felt something pressing against his chest, and looked down. He let out a horrified, and rather girly, shriek.
"OH MY GOD! WHY THE HELL DO I HAVE BOOBS!" He looked down at himself in despair. He sighed. "Well, at least it's a nice skirt."
Everyone ran to the source of the scream. They found Shuichi, tied to a tree, moaning in pain. Suddenly, Ryuichi bounced into view. Everyone stared at him weirdly for a second, wondering how the hell he got there. However, they stared for a different reason when Ryuichi smirked, running a hand through his hair. He sauntered over to a blonde girl, who everyone only just noticed, and put an arm around her.
"Hey gorgeous." He grinned, confidently.
The girl smiled in a creepily familiar way. "Thank you, Ryuichi… you've never called me gorgeous before."
Ryuichi shrieked loudly, jumping back. The girl, or rather Tohma, giggled. Ryuichi pulled Kumagorou out of nowhere and clutched him.
"S-sorry Tohma… uhm…"
His stammering was interrupted.
"THAT BITCH!" Everyone turned to Shuichi, who was still tied to the tree.
The vocalist looked up at Yuki, and opened his mouth. Before he could say anything, laughter escaped him. The others, wondering why he was laughing, looked at Yuki… and all began laughing.
Yuki looked at everyone, confused, and then spotted his brother. He began cackling, pointing at him.
Everyone laughed even harder, and then Yuki noticed the sign. While laughing at Tatsuha's bald head, shining in the early morning light, he had looked down. And saw a sign had been hung around his neck.
The sign said: 'Hello Japan! I'm gay!'
Before Yuki could kill anyone, Shuichi interrupted. "Your bitsh of a shishter is dead! I'll kill 'er!"
Tatsuha gave him a look. "Why? What did she do? And why are you talking like a gay man with a lisp?"
Shuichi scowled at him. "I am a gay man! I jusht don't normally have a lishp! And ash for wha' she did… well shee for yourshelf!"
He poked out his tongue. Silver glinted innocently from where it was embedded in his tongue. Mika had pierced his tongue!
"Now untie me, you fucker!" He yelled, scowling. With a snicker, Yuki moved to untie him. Meanwhile, Ryuichi was staring at Tatsuha's bald head in fascination. A huge, hyper smile crossed his face.
"Ooooh! Shiny!" He poked the bald teenager's head, giggled, and then brought his hand down on the top of his head with a resounding SMACK. He squealed, and then bounced.
"Catch me if you can, slaphead!" Yelled the hyper rockstar. He ran off, Kumagorou perched on his head. Tatsuha chased after him, everyone covering their eyes as the sun reflected off of his head.
They made their way back inside, going through to the kitchen. They saw Mika and the old man waiting for them, and breakfast already on the table. Shuichi scowled, pointing at Mika accusingly.
"YOU DIRTY FUCKER!"
THUMP
Mika winced, as her father picked himself off of the floor. Falling off of ones chair, while highly amusing, is also embarrassing, so it was no surprise that the old codger was crimson.
The old bastard looked up, and caught sight of the sign that was still around Yuki's neck. He cringed.
THUMP
Mika put her head in her hands, while everyone else tried not to laugh. The old monk once again picked himself off of the floor. He then noticed Tatsuha's bald head. Everyone winced, expecting another fall.
Instead, the old man's craggy face morphed into a smile for the first time in years. Tears of pride gathered in his eyes, and he stood. He walked over to Tatsuha, holding out his arms. He crushed his youngest son in a hug.
"Tatsuha! I'm so proud of you! You've finally decided to sacrifice your hair to Buddha! My son! My heir! My only child!"
Mika scowled, and opened her mouth. She was beaten by Yuki.
"DADDY! You're so meeeeeeean! How could you say that!" The former blonde pouted, stomping his foot.
His father scowled at him. "Silence, hedonist!"
Tohma reached out to pat Yuki's arm. The old monk saw this, and slowly smiled.
"What's this? You've finally gotten rid of that boy and found a girlfriend? My son! I'm so proud! I knew you would come to your senses, Eiri!"
Yuki gagged, and Tohma simply smiled. "That's the second time I've been mistaken as a girl today. What a way to talk about your son-in-law."
Yuki's father hit the floor once again. This time he stayed there for a while. Everyone gathered around the table, and began eating. After a short while, the old monk had recovered enough to join them. Quite suddenly, Ryuichi leered at Tohma from across the table.
"You'd better make sure you change out of that before you go back to NG… Sakano might try to crawl up your skirt… if you know what I mean."
Tohma scowled, and… blushed. He groped for something to throw, and hurled it at Ryuichi. Because he's such a girl, he missed by miles… and hit Mika. As the sashimi peeled itself from her face, she shot a look of death at her husband. She grabbed whatever was in front of her, and threw it at Tohma. Because she's such a loser, she missed. At that moment, K walked in.
"I am not waiting in the car for this long. Hurry it up!" He got no further, as the apple that Mika had intended to smack her husband with had beaned him in the forehead. A lump appeared, and K's eye twitched. He pulled out his gun, and shot a bullet towards Mika. However, his aim was a little off, and he almost hit Ryuichi. Little Ryu-chan scowled, and picked up a pancake. He threw it, but misjudged the distance. The pancake landed on Tatsuha's bald head with a THWACK.
Tatsuha twitched. He picked up a handful of rice, lobbing it at his brother. He would never throw anything at his Ryu-chan! As the rice settled in Yuki's hair, the former blonde picked up a plate. He threw it at his father. The plate hit it's target. Yuki's father, now unconscious thanks to the plate, hit the floor once again.
Yuki cackled, before an evil idea came to him. He picked up a glass, and attempted to hit Shuichi with the contents. However, Shuichi ducked, and the milk splashed over Tohma. As Tohma blinked, shaking his head like a dog, Shuichi loaded up on toast.
Three seconds later, toast was flying through the air. One piece hit Yuki dead-on. Shuichi snickered as he picked people to randomly throw toast at. In retaliation, everyone picked whatever was closest, and began throwing.
And that was how the first ever food fight of the Uesugi household started.
A while later, everyone was covered in every food imaginable… except for Shuichi. He stood smirking smugly, cigarette hanging out of his mouth. He had hit everyone, multiple times, but hadn't been hit once. The old monk was still on the floor, but was covered from head to toe in food.
Everyone looked at each other, before spotting the mess on Tatsuha's head. Everyone began laughing hysterically, for on top of Tatsuha's head… was a pancake, a few pieces of toast, rice, scraps of sashimi, and - somehow - maple syrup.
K's gun was also covered in food…
"YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!" He screamed, spraying bullets throughout the kitchen. As he began to cackle like a maniac, they began making their escape. They all piled into Tohma's limo, even though they were covering the seats in food, and began the journey back to Tokyo.
Kei-chan: I love that chapter! Especially when Shuichi points at Mika, and yells "YOU DIRTY FUCKER!"... I don't know why. Possibly because I say that all the time, and it's weird to think of the fluff ball saying it.
Rin-chan: When she says all the time, she means all the time! She never stops saying it! Anyway, thanks for reading! Please review!
