DISCLAIMER: HG characters do not belong to me.
A/N: Just wanted to respond to one of the comments about the names that were discussed last chapter, none of those names will be chosen….you won't find out the name until the baby is born.
Chapter 112-Cry to Heaven
February 11
"Mrs. Hawthorne, can you help me go to the bathroom? I can't get these buttons off" Justina, one of Katniss's students says to her pulling on her dress to get her attention.
Katniss bends down and says, "Sure, just give me a second okay?" Katniss walks out of her classroom and into the hallway, heading for the room across from hers. She knocks and looks in the window and when she sees Livia wave that she can come in Katniss opens the door and says, "Hey-can you watch my class while I take one of my students to the bathroom?"
"Sure. Everyone keep working in your workbooks, everyone needs to finish their assignment before we break for lunch" Livia says and then walks with Katniss back across the hall. Livia who taught 4th grade, could leave her students alone for a few moments unlike Katniss who could not leave her classroom unattended.
"Thanks" Katniss says to Livia as they head into her room.
"No problem. Hi kids" Livia says loudly as she enters Katniss's classroom.
"Hello Miss McGinnis" Katniss's students say in response. They were familiar with Livia since she often would watch Katniss's class when she needed to leave for a brief period of time. Now 7 months pregnant, Katniss needed to make quite a few trips to the bathroom and Livia graciously offered to help watch the class whenever Katniss needed her.
"I will be right back, keep working on your math problems" Katniss says as she takes Justina's hand and the two of them leave the room and head down the hall.
"Okay, let's get these buttons off" Katniss says as they stand outside the bathroom stall. Katniss fumbles for a few seconds before unbuttoning the top straps of Justina's overalls. It was tough for her to unbutton, she can't imagine Justina being able to do it for she was only six.
Overalls was the newest fashion trend coming out of the Capitol. For the poorer Districts like 10, 11, and 12, overalls were often worn, especially by farmers. It was never an outfit that was worn to be fashionable but leave it to the Capitol to make them popular. The overalls worn by the Capitol and Districts 1 and 2 were made from better material and were different colors unlike the standard dark blue that was common. Justina's overalls were a burgundy color, and she wore a light blue long sleeved shirt underneath.
"Thanks Mrs. Hawthorne" Justina says sweetly as she heads into the stall.
Katniss deciding to take advantage of the fact she was in a bathroom, quickly heads into a stall to relieve her bladder. She hurries as fast as she can but is not fast enough for she hears Justina call out, "Mrs. Hawthorne?" confused that Katniss was gone.
"I'll be right there Justina" Katniss calls out. Once she exits the stall and begins washing her hands Justina comes up next to her and says, "Your stomach is moving!"
Looking down, Katniss sees the side of her stomach flutter. This being a regular occurrence Katniss often ignored it while at school. But Justina being so close to Katniss saw the movement under Katniss's form fitting black dress.
"Do you want feel the baby move?" Katniss asks. While she never offered to let anyone touch her stomach with the exception of her Mother and Hazelle, she decides to let the young girl feel for she could see the curiosity on her face.
Justina nods her head and Katniss takes her hand and places it on the right side of the stomach. She watches as Justina's eyes go wide as she says, "Wow."
Katniss smiles as she then bends down and moves Justina's overall straps back in place and buttons them back up. "There you go." And Katniss watches as Justina then begins washing her hands.
"I've asked my Mommy when I can be a big sister but she says I'll never be a big sister" Justina says to Katniss as she begins drying her hands.
This news surprises Katniss, for she knows who Justina's Mother is. She is the only former Victor left still living in Silver Lake's Victor's Village. Helena was her name, and Katniss remembers watching her win the 72nd Hunger Games when Katniss was 14. A volunteer tribute, Helena had won the games when she was 18. Katniss figures she had trained in the now abandoned training center here in town and was the best female of her group to be sent to the training facility downtown. Now 34, she was married and Justina was her only daughter. Seeing how devoted Helena was to Justina, Katniss didn't question Helena's love for her daughter. She had overheard Helena say to another parent one day while Katniss walked Justina out that she was actively trying for another baby.
"Do you know why?" Katniss finds herself asking. She knows she shouldn't pry, but needs to know if this is somehow related to what she knows regarding what has been happening to former Victors.
"She says that she can't have any more babies. I think it makes her sad."
Katniss gives Justina a gentle look and lays a hand on her shoulder and says, "Then you will just have to cheer her up when you see that she is sad" and gives the young girl an encouraging smile.
Justina smiles at Katniss and together they head back to Katniss's classroom. For the rest of the day, Katniss is distracted by what Justina has told her. She wishes she could ask Helena, but Helena was not very friendly and Katniss suspects she is a former Victor who actually supported the Hunger Games unlike Enobaria. She reminds herself to let Haymitch know what she has found out, for she had confided in him about what she learned from her Mother, and what Heavensbee told her when she visited him in the Capitol. Haymitch had agreed with Katniss that it seemed too much of a coincidence for it to be random.
Katniss continued to take the medication her doctor prescribed her. Since she started taking the medication daily, she had seen a significant decrease in occurrence, but when she did get one, the pain was as intense as ever.
She still hadn't told Gale of her suspicions. Knowing she shouldn't keep this from him, she tells herself it was still a theory at this point and her gut told her if there was something going on with the Victors, than it was very serious for the Capitol to try and hide it. She knew he would cause a lot of trouble for the Capitol and demand answers, and she didn't want anything to interfere with his standing with the Capitol and military. He had come so far since the war and had one of the best jobs in all of Panem, she wasn't going to risk him possibly losing everything over a hunch. While she knew Paylor trusted Gale, she knew Paylor trusted Heavensbee more. And if Heavensbee wanted Gale out, he could convince Paylor to do it.
She wasn't going to let that happen, even if it meant keeping things from him. It was a risk she was going to have to take.
February 25 (Saturday)
"I'll be back before lunch" Katniss says to Gale as she grabs her bow. Sitting in the living room with his daughter, Gale watched over her as she played with her toys, and right now her favorite thing was to move her colorful blocks around and stack them.
Unable to zip up her Father's jacket due to her large stomach, she had worn a heavy sweater and wrapped a large scarf around her neck. Not happy that she was going out in this cold and with an open jacket, he rises from the floor and says, "How about you go out tomorrow? Maybe we can find a babysitter and both of us can go out."
Irritated that he wants her to stay inside, she rolls her eyes and says, "I need to get some fresh air."
"Katniss-"
"I'll be fine Gale! I can handle the cold, it's not like I haven't experienced a winter here before."
"You weren't seven months pregnant during a winter here."
She sighs loudly and says, "Would it make you feel better if I changed my coat?"
"I would feel a lot better if you waited until we could both go out. But yes, it would."
She turns and heads toward the closet in the hallway, changing into a much larger coat that she can zip up she gives Sienna a kiss and gives Gale the shortest kiss she has possibly ever given him as she quickly heads out the sliding door of the sun room.
Moving fast but cautious, she heads into the woods behind their house. She knows she should have stayed in, but she needed to get out and clear her head. Yesterday, she had gotten a call from Heavensbee asking if she would come to the Capitol next month, for there was something they wanted to discuss with her.
Fearing that they were going to ask her to participate in the same testing Annie, Johanna, and Peeta had done, she was conflicted of whether or not she should tell Gale. She knows she would need him with her if the news was bad, but a part of her wanted to go the Capitol alone.
Her appointment was scheduled for Saturday March 9. She was glad they had asked her to come in on a Saturday so she didn't have to miss any more school, for she was absent at least once a month or more for her check-up appointments. Since she was due in two months, she had more and more appointments scheduled.
She trudged through the snow contemplating what she should do. Should she tell Gale or should she keep this from him? She knew if he were to find out he'd be furious, but she also knew she had to protect the ones she loved. It was what she had always done. She had protected Prim, she had protected Peeta, and now she had to protect Gale, no matter what the cost.
March 9 (Saturday)
"On a scale of 1 to 10 how bad are your headaches?" the Capitol doctor asks Katniss as he shines a small light into her eye.
"I'd say about a 9" she replies.
"Any fainting? Dizziness?"
"No."
"Any vomiting?"
"No.
"Seizures or tremors?"
"No."
"You have a child who is a year and a half?"
"Yes."
"And you are going into your eighth month of pregnancy?"
"Yes."
"Did you ever have any problems getting pregnant? Ever have to take a supplement or fertility treatments?"
"No. After I got my birth control implant removed I was pregnant in a matter of weeks."
"Good, that's good."
The doctor then listens to her heartbeat, has her take deep breaths, and checks her blood pressure. Once finished he says, "Heart beat sounds good, lungs sound good, and blood pressure is perfect. How about the two of you go have lunch and meet me back in my office in one hour." He then leaves the room without waiting for a response.
"Is it just me, or is he hiding something?" Haymitch says to Katniss as he approaches the examination table Katniss sits on.
"He's definitely hiding something" Katniss says looking at the door he just went out of.
Haymitch had called Katniss a week ago telling her that he had been invited by the Capitol to come in for testing. Wanting him to come with her to her appointment, Haymitch asked the Capitol if he could come on the same day as Katniss for testing. His request was granted, and Katniss used Haymitch as her cover telling Gale that she was meeting him in the Capitol for lunch, which wasn't a lie. They were about to go out for lunch, though she neglected to tell Gale about her morning appointment.
They head to a new restaurant that just opened up near the District museum. Not wanting to talk about the Jay Killers or anything else negative, Katniss spends the majority of their lunch date talking about Sienna and showing Haymitch the most recent pictures taken of her while he drank three glasses of wine. Once they finish eating the two of them head back to the doctor's office and wait patiently for him to come in. Fifteen minutes goes by before the doctor finally comes in, followed by Heavensbee.
Katniss looks at Haymitch who says, "Plutarch, why am I not surprised you are here."
Heavensbee pulls up a chair next to the doctor's desk and says, "Good afternoon to you too Haymitch."
Haymitch, not caring about the formalities says, "Just lay it on us, what is going on?"
The doctor looks to Heavensbee to answer. Pausing a moment before answering, Heavensbee folds his hands in his lap as he says, "Since President Paylor took office, her leadership team in the Capitol had learned that for years, former Victors had experienced health problems years after they competed in the games. Some of them had only mild symptoms, some showed very severe symptoms, and some died. What we also learned, was that some had no symptoms at all and never experienced any problems."
Katniss and Haymitch sit in silence, both bracing themselves for what he would say next. Realizing that they wanted him to continue Heavensbee says, "We started doing our own research once more Victors came forward regarding their health after the rebellion. A lot of Victors from Districts 1 and 2 reached out to us, and then Victors from other Districts started showing symptoms as well, like Mr. Mellark and Miss Mason. Based upon what we learned beforehand and what we observed, it appears, the technology that the Capitol used to create the arenas had….certain side effects for people who came into contact with it. The arenas were surrounded by force fields, and of course the Capitol used their technology inside the arena to create distractions, threats, both of you knowing full well what happens in there. We don't know why, but we theorize Victor's being around the radiation from the force field and obstacles inside for such an extended period of time is the cause of the side effects. Most of the effects we have seen are neurological, but there are other side effects we think we are seeing as well."
"Such as the fact that Helena Hildebrand cannot bear any more children?" Katniss asks. She sees Haymitch looking at her in the corner of her eye, but she continues to stare at Heavensbee waiting for him to answer.
"She is infertile that is true, we don't know if it is related to what we know or if it is something completely different."
"It's why we asked if you had any problems getting pregnant. The only Victors remaining that are of child bearing age are you, Helena, Annie, and Johanna" the doctor says, finally speaking. "Enobaria is now over forty, but she has disclosed to us that for years she had tried to become pregnant but that she never could."
"Didn't think she was the mothering type" Haymitch says sarcastically.
Heavensbee gives a sly smile and says, "I guess surviving the Hunger Games twice along with making it through a rebellion changes a person."
"Did she seek medical treatment for it?" Katniss asks.
"No" Heavensbee replies.
"Again we don't know if there is a connection here" the doctor says.
"But there could be" Heavensbee interjects.
"And if there is?" Haymitch asks.
"We will need to research it further and continue to monitor. Mr. Abernathy, we were able to do all of the testing and currently you show no symptoms" the doctor says to Haymitch. The doctor then looks at Katniss and says, "Due to your pregnancy we cannot do all of the tests required. We need to do blood work and the hormone levels from the fetus could skew the results. We also need to do some testing that requires injecting small doses of radiation into you, again we cannot do that for it would harm the fetus. We would like for you to come back here once you have given birth so we can finish the testing."
Katniss's head is spinning, trying to wrap her mind around what she has just been told. Realizing there is another Victor they haven't discussed Katniss says, "What about Beetee?"
"Yeah" Haymitch says frowning.
"So far he is not showing symptoms either."
"So far?" Haymitch asks.
"As a former gamemaker, I can tell you I know that the Capitol knew that being in the arena was dangerous to one's health. They didn't care. Growing up I had heard stories about former Victor's suddenly becoming very ill and dying. And I heard stories about others that had been ill for years. The symptoms affect everyone differently, and while some had minor affects, others had severe affects that lasted all of their life, and some had no affects but then out of blue developed severe symptoms and died in a matter of months."
"Why didn't you tell us before?" Haymitch says raising his voice.
"We have been researching this since the rebellion ended, but only some of the Victor's agreed to participate in our research who had symptoms. We didn't want to force anyone to participate. And when Mr. Mellark and Miss Mason came to us for treatment we were able to see patterns in the testing we did. Due to the fact you both never showed any symptoms we didn't see the need to disclose this to you. We did reach out to Mrs. Odair due to her long history of mental instability, we wanted to see if there was a connection there. When Katniss started to show possible symptoms after she became pregnant, the decision was made by the President to test all remaining Victors. We have had to…enforce that some cooperate" Heavensbee says.
"Didn't see the need to disclose! How dare you keep this from us! YOU ARE NO BETTER THAN SNOW!" Haymitch roars rising from his seat.
"We are trying to figure this out, the Capitol knew about the risks, but they never bothered to research why, or see if it could somehow be cured. We are working as hard as we can to come up with a protocol for treatment" the doctor says as Haymitch stands above him. Katniss notices his fists are clenched.
"Mr. Abernathy, please calm down" Heavensbee says.
"I'll calm down when you start telling us the truth!"
Katniss, who had remained silent for the last few moments, suddenly rises from her seat and says, "Haymitch let's go" and begins walking out of the room.
"Mrs. Hawthorne wait! Can we discuss with you a possible date for you to return to the Capitol?" the doctor shouts getting up from his desk to follow Katniss.
Ignoring him, Katniss quickly heads out of the office and into the street, the cold air hitting her face. Haymitch catching up to her says, "Katniss-"
"I need to go home Haymitch. I need to get to the train station so I can catch the last train of the day back to Silver Lake."
"But we need to talk about this."
"I can't. Not now."
They walk in silence to the train station. Once Katniss purchases her ticket and walks to the gate Haymitch says, "Call me at this number when you get home. Let me know you made it back safe. We will continue this conversation later." He then takes out a small note pad from his jacket and writes down the number of the hotel he is staying at.
Katniss nods as she takes the piece of paper and turns to board her train. Once she takes her seat, she does not wave at Haymitch who watches as her train departs the station.
She looks out the window the entire ride home, her demeanor unreadable. When she reaches the front door of her house, she pauses before entering. She hears Gale and Sienna in the kitchen realizing it is dinner time. She walks down the hall and into the kitchen and sees Gale wiping Sienna's mouth with a wash cloth. Katniss sees what's left of a small bowl of pasta siting on Sienna's high chair.
"Hey beautiful. We missed you today" Gale says smiling brightly at Katniss as he comes over to her and gives her a kiss before moving in for a hug.
Katniss hugs him only a second before pulling away, her face stone cold. Not bothering to take off her jacket, she heads for the sliding back door and says, "I need to get some fresh air" and opens the door and walks outside.
Totally confused by what just happened, Gale rushes out to follow her and says, "Katniss! You just got home. What's going on?"
She stops and turns around to look at him standing right outside the door. "I just need some time to myself Gale."
He moves closer and says, "Did something happen with Haymitch? Is it Peeta?"
"No, just….please. I'll be back in a few minutes."
"But I was about to make dinner-"
"I'm not hungry!" she shouts and she begins walking away heading into the woods.
"Katniss! Are you going-"but before he can finish she shouts "No!" and then disappears into the trees.
Wanting to go after her but hearing Sienna start to scream for she was all alone in the kitchen, Gale curses loudly and heads back inside and picks up his crying daughter. He holds her in his arms soothing her fears as she grabs tightly to his shirt, small tears running down her cheeks.
After walking for five minutes Katniss collapses onto the ground, leaning up against a tree. Finally letting her emotions take control, she screams at the top of her lungs, the loud noise causing the birds to scatter from the trees.
Growing up in the Seam, her Mother had told her that when a person dies, they go to heaven. When she got older, she began to think that heaven was a lie that was made up so that a person didn't fear death. When Rue was dying in her arms, she thought for a brief moment she saw the young tribute go to heaven for she had a look of peace in her eyes before she took her final breath. And while in the wild territory, she realized that heaven was indeed a place that existed, though the Natives didn't call it heaven. When she once dreamed that she was lying in a meadow in between Gale and Prim, she felt as if she was in heaven as the three of them stared up at a rainbow.
She cried to heaven as the sun went down, not caring about anything else as the tears continued to fall, unable to stop.
