Good Morning, Loves!
All mistakes are on me.
Chapter Forty: Bella
November 24, 2022
Cambridge, England
We've gathered an odd group in our apartment. Between the mechanical engineer neighbors Edward invited last minute, to his fellow program nerds to Jess and her date, we make a weird little group.
I sorta love it.
The food is good. It's not an American Thanksgiving at all, but it's good nonetheless. Even the turnips.
We gather in the living room, most people with beers or wine, a couple like me with tea. There is laughter and stories being told and for a very small moment, it feels like being home. It feels amazing as much as it also hurts my heart.
I curl up on Edward's lap, and he tucks me in against his chest. I've got my hands warped around my tea cup while Edward has a beer in his free hand. On the sofa, Corin is flirting with Jess, who is surprising me by flirting right back. Mike either doesn't care, or doesn't realize what's going on.
Our house is filled with laughter and food and it feels like it should.
Tears spring to my eyes when I realize we've done it, we've found a way to bring home here.
It's so unexpected, so unlikely. How is that a bunch of people-many of whom were strangers this morning-could come together to make a home? How could it be, that though this is the first time I've ever been out of the country, I can find pieces of my home, of my family in these people from around the world?
Edward's hand shifts to my lower back, pressing lightly into my skin, and I melt into him. It's him. I'm a pain in the ass, and though I managed to make friends in college, I'm not really known for being a bridgemaker. It's all Edward, with his patience, his intelligence, his charisma… People flock to him, and he has a gift of bringing them together, to showing them a new way of being and seeing the world. It's his gift to the world, and I can't even begin to express how grateful I am to have him in my life. I needed him in so many ways, and need him still more and more each day. Today and every day, I'm grateful for him. I'm grateful that he was horny that one time he was skyping Alice and checked out my ass; grateful for that stupid, aweful pandemic for bringing us together; grateful for the years that we got to spend, almost completely alone. I'm grateful that he sees me for who I am, and loves me anyway, and I'm grateful that he's let me love him back.
I'm even grateful to be here, thousands of miles from home, but making new traditions, new memories to cherish.
My hand falls to my stomach, and my fingers curl lightly over my shirt. One day, Spawn is going to have so much to be grateful for themself, and I can't wait to show them just how blessed they are.
