DISCLAIMER: HG characters do not belong to me.
Chapter 117-Memories
August 15 (Monday)
Katniss sits in the waiting room of the hospital, waiting for Peeta to be wheeled out to her. He had been in the Capitol for three days now, after being rushed there after his most recent seizure. This was his worst seizure yet, and he had stopped breathing. Luckily, the local doctor of District 12 had rushed to the bakery and helped get him into a recovery position where he was able to breathe again while his seizure continued. A decision was made to operate on his brain to put an experimental device inside his head to help control his seizures. The surgery came with risks, but after he had stopped breathing he had made the decision to have the surgery. Katniss had arrived at the Capitol yesterday, and planned to stay at Hazelle's until after's Peeta surgery and begins to make a full recovery.
When she had arrived at the hospital on Sunday, she was surprised by the warm reception she got from Delly. Delly had hugged her tight and cried into Katniss's shoulder as she told Katniss about what happened at the bakery. Katniss, unsure of how Peeta would react to her being there, was relieved when she saw he seemed genuinely happy that she was there.
It was 7 am, Peeta was to go into the operating room at 8, and Katniss had wheeled him outside onto the hospital's patio for him to get some fresh air. Taking a seat beside his wheelchair, Katniss held his hand as he looked at the sun as it began to shine down on the mountains out in the distance.
"It's so peaceful" Peeta says softly.
"As peaceful as it can be in the Capitol" Katniss said.
"You don't have to stay here you know."
"I'm not going anywhere, I'm staying right here in this hospital until you wake up and begin to make a full recovery."
"What about Gale? And your daughters?"
"They are with Gale's Mother, I'll see them later tonight, and the train ride is only an hour away."
"You didn't answer the first part of my question."
Katniss looks down and says, "Gale understands why I am here."
"I don't want to cause any trouble between the two of you, especially now" Peeta says looking down at Katniss's prominent stomach.
"You're not" Katniss says reassuringly.
While Gale was not happy with the fact that Katniss dropped all of her plans to rush to Peeta's side, he understood. In an effort to show his support, he had asked his Mother if she wouldn't mind canceling her Monday appointments so she could watch Sienna and Avery while he was at work and Katniss at the hospital.
Peeta nods his head and looks out towards the sun again as he says, "You need to stop worrying about me so much Katniss."
"Old habit" Katniss says smirking, getting him to smile in response.
"I mean it. I don't want you to feel that you have to be here out of guilt."
"Peeta-I wouldn't be anywhere else, and I know if our roles were reversed, you'd be here too."
Peeta sees her point of view and says, "Delly says you may be able to help us adopt a baby?"
"I'm going to do whatever I can to help. But first you need to focus on your recovery."
"I just want Delly to be happy."
"She is-she's really worried about you. You've got to be strong, look forward to the future."
"You know what I wanted my future to be."
Katniss gets a pained look on her face as she says, "Peeta-" and before she can say anything more she is interrupted by Haymitch saying, "Sorry to interrupt sweetheart, but it's time to go." And Haymitch pats Peeta on the shoulder before steering his wheelchair back inside, Katniss following behind.
Katniss gives Peeta one last hug as she watches Delly go with him into the operating prep room. She sits beside Haymitch and keeps herself occupied by repeating Sioux words in her head as Haymitch flips through a magazine. Watching her nervous behavior he says, "That afraid of forgetting how to speak to your friends?"
Knowing that he saw her lips move but with no sound coming out she says, "If I don't use it I will lose it."
"I know they mean a lot to you."
"Peeta does too….despite everything that's happened."
Haymitch grabs her hand and squeezes it in response while she closes her eyes and starts moving her lips again, silently repeating every Sioux word she knows in her head. Once she is finished she begins another routine that comforts her, going over in her head her list of kind acts, though she no longer has access to it on paper. One of her personal items taken by Jasper.
Delly now with them in the waiting room, the three of them sit there until 2 pm when the doctor comes out saying that Peeta made it through the surgery and that he was still unconscious.
Katniss hugs Haymitch in relief and hears Delly say to the doctor, "When can we see him?"
"Maybe later tonight, he needs to rest now" the doctor replies.
Knowing that she needs to get back to Hazelle's, Katniss tells Delly and Haymitch that she will stop by tomorrow morning. Haymitch walks Katniss out as he tells her he will be heading to a nearby hotel after he sees Peeta.
"You have Hazelle's number right?" Katniss asks.
"Yes, I'll call if there is any problem."
Katniss gives Haymitch one last hug before heading to the train station. She arrives back to Hazelle's at quarter to four and is happily greeted by Sienna and Avery when she walks in the door, followed by a couple licks from Harper.
"Mama, you're back" Sienna says after Katniss gives her a kiss.
"Of course I am" Katniss says in response.
"I woke up and you were gone" Sienna says frowning at Katniss.
"I had to leave early sweetie and I didn't want to wake you or your sister."
"Me-bake" Avery says proudly to Katniss, then runs down the hall and comes back with a cookie in her hand that she gives to Katniss.
"Mmmm these are really good" Katniss says after she takes a bite.
"Grammie helped" Sienna says.
"How is Peeta?" Hazelle says appearing in the hall giving Harper a quick pat on his head.
"He made it through surgery, he can't have visitors until tonight."
"Are you going to head back to the Capitol after dinner then?"
"No, I'm going back tomorrow morning."
Before Hazelle can respond Katniss takes her daughters into Hazelle's living room and sits with them on the couch as they tell her about their day. Katniss praising the girls for being so good for their Grandmother. Katniss looks at the pictures Sienna and Avery colored for her while she was gone as Hazelle tells Katniss Gale called and said he would be home by 5:30 and that dinner would be ready by then.
"Anything you need me to help you with?" Katniss asks.
"Just the salad."
"I think I can manage that" Katniss says with a small smile as she goes to the island to help prepare the salad for dinner, Sienna and Avery watching TV as Katniss tells Hazelle about seeing Delly again after almost eight years.
"How did she seem?" Hazelle asks Katniss as she stirred the soup she was making.
"Pleasant as always, she actually gave me a hug."
"You seem surprised."
"I am, I was-nervous about being there with her. I was afraid it would be awkward."
"She knows you are worried about Peeta. I think it comes naturally for her to put her differences aside, she was one of the nicest town girls in 12."
"It's why I wish…." But Katniss stops herself from saying anything more. Hazelle looks at her curiously and asks, "Wish what?"
Sighing, Katniss looks over to make sure Sienna and Avery were preoccupied with the children's show they were watching before she says, "That Peeta could be truly happy."
Hazelle gives Katniss a look showing her feelings on the subject. Why she understood that Katniss felt the need to be there for Peeta, she was annoyed that Katniss still cared so much about whether or not Peeta was truly happy with Delly. Katniss had made her choice, she chose her son but yet here she was, all these years later still feeling guilty about it.
"You can't control Peeta's happiness, only he can" Hazelle says curtly.
Katniss nods her head in response and goes to the cabinet to grab plates for the table. Gale arrives a little before 5:30 and when he comes in, he shows his surprise at seeing Katniss sitting with Sienna and Avery on the couch.
"I didn't think you'd be here" he says as he gives his daughters a quick hug.
Katniss looks at him in annoyance as she quickly fills him in on how she is going back tomorrow morning. She then changes the subject and soon after the five of them eat at the table. Hazelle talks about how she is still getting used to Posy being gone even though it is her second year in design school. After dinner Gale, Sienna, and Avery call Posy and speak with her a few moments before Katniss and Gale take Sienna and Avery for a walk around the neighborhood before bedtime with Harper. Once the girls are asleep in Vick and Rory's old room Katniss and Gale head downstairs. Katniss, still annoyed at Gale's earlier remark unleashes her pent up uneasiness and fears about today on him.
"It's like no one can believe that I came home to be with my family" she huffs.
Gale looks at her pointedly and says, "You made it very clear yesterday that you would be gone all day and not to wait up for you."
"I didn't know how long the surgery would last!"
"Will you be ready to go back home tomorrow evening?" Gale asks bracing himself for an answer he won't like.
"As long as Peeta's expected to make a full recovery yeah."
Satisfied by that answer, he reaches his arm out inviting her to come sit beside him on the pull out bed, after a slight pause she goes into his arms and gives him a quick kiss before laying her head on his shoulder.
"I know you're worried about him" Gale says softly.
"It's just so unfair" she says trying to hold back her tears.
"It always is" he says comforting her.
The next morning, Katniss arrives at the hospital at 10:30 am. She decided to come in later, for she wanted to be at Hazelle's when Sienna and Avery woke up. Once both girls finished their breakfast Katniss left to head to the train station.
When she approaches Peeta's door, she is greeted by Haymitch who has a look of concern on his face.
"What is it? Did something happen?" Katniss asks taking a deep breath.
"Let's go for a quick walk" Haymitch says escorting Katniss away from Peeta's room.
Once they are far enough away Haymitch turns to her and says, "I saw Peeta last night before I went to the hotel, he was pretty out of it, he didn't know where he was or why he was there. The doctor says that is typical, but then this morning…."
"Tell me!" Katniss says raising her voice, knowing that Haymitch was holding back from whatever it was he needed to say.
"It appears….the surgery had some unexpected consequences. Peeta has lost some of his memory, he remembers Delly though he didn't know they were a couple. He seems to only remember his life up until the very end of the quarter quell. He doesn't remember his capture or the rebellion, and he doesn't remember his life with you after he came back to 12-or what has happened since."
Katniss stares at Haymitch in shock, unable to process what he has just told her. She begins pacing in front of Haymitch, her mind racing. Finally, she turns to him and says, "Is it permanent?"
"The doctors don't know, they said sometimes a person can get their memories back in time, sometimes they don't."
"What has Delly said to him?"
"Nothing yet, he thinks she is only there as a friend. He has been asking for you."
"What was said to him?"
"The doctor is going in soon to talk to him, they are bringing one of his therapists in with them. To explain to him that a lot of time has passed since the quell."
Katniss begins to feel sick inside. After everything she and Peeta had gone through together, for it to possibly end like this. She finally loses her composure and begins crying in Haymitch's arms, letting it all out. Haymitch escort's her to a chair and comforts her while she cries, not saying a word.
Once Katniss has regained her composure, she grabs a quick snack with Haymitch in the hospital's cafeteria and talks with him about what she should do.
"It's not like I can hide….this" Katniss says looking down at her protruding stomach.
"That'd be tough" Haymitch says chuckling.
Katniss gives him a look showing she was not amused. Haymitch then offers to go in and speak with Peeta first before she does. Katniss agrees and stays at the table while Haymitch goes up to Peeta's room. Katniss nervously rubs her stomach while she waits. She began to feel the baby move not long ago, but unlike Avery, this baby was not as active. She hoped that was a sign that her son would be a more laid back baby. While Sienna had calmed down a couple of weeks after she was born, Avery always craved a bit more attention. Katniss was glad Sienna adored her baby sister, for it made caring for Avery a lot easier. Avery didn't like to be alone, and was glad Sienna didn't mind the role of big sister. Katniss hoped that they would always remain close, though she knows by the time they are teenagers it might not be that way. Katniss knows Avery will be the more difficult child when the new baby comes. Thankfully, Katniss still has four more months to prepare.
Haymitch comes back to the table a half hour later, and tells her she can go up to see Peeta whenever she is ready.
"What does he know?" Katniss asks.
"Well, as I said before, he knows he and Delly are a couple. He asked a lot of questions about it. He knows the condensed version of the rebellion, and how after the quell he was captured, but he doesn't know details. And he doesn't know the details about the two of you, I thought for now…we can keep it that way-Delly agreed."
"Does he know about me and Gale?"
"Yes, all I said was…. that the two of you were together. I'll let you decide how much you want to tell him in regards to your family."
Katniss nods her head in appreciation and walks up to Peeta's room with Haymitch. She sees Delly standing outside waiting for them when they arrive.
"He knows you are coming in" Delly says to Katniss.
"Okay, Haymitch got me up to speed about what he does and doesn't know."
"I think it's best if we don't overwhelm him too much" Delly says sternly. The first time Katniss thinks she had ever seen Delly not be her usual friendly self.
Katniss gives a look showing that she got the message and goes to the door. She looks back at Haymitch nervously and Haymitch gives her a look of encouragement. She realizes it is a look she hadn't seen from him since he was her mentor. She slowly opens the door and sees Peeta sitting in a chair by the window, reading a book.
When she sees him look up at her she tries to give a friendly smile as she says, "Hello Peeta."
"Katniss" Peeta says, his eyes immediately going to Katniss's stomach. She wishes she had worn a looser fitting shirt than the one she has on right now which was really form fitting.
"How are you feeling?" she asks.
"My head hurts a little, but the doctor says that is normal. I feel like I woke up from a really, really long sleep."
'A sixteen year sleep' Katniss thinks to herself.
Not knowing what to say, there is an awkward pause before Peeta says, "So-you and Gale are having a baby?" Katniss hearing the strain in his voice.
Katniss keeps her hands at her side, not allowing herself to do what she usually does whenever someone asked her if she was pregnant, which was touch her stomach in response. "Yes-in December."
"Are you and Gale married?"
"Yes" Katniss says, Delly's words lingering in her mind.
"I'm not surprised, I knew you loved him. And while it appears I have forgotten a lot, I didn't forget giving you that locket on the beach. I told you then your family needed you, and I always considered Gale a part of your family."
Katniss looks down, unable to make eye contact with him as she says, "I still have that locket."
"How is your Mom?"
"She's good, she lives in District 4."
"District 4 really? Is Prim with her?"
Katniss feels her heart sink even further. She pauses before saying, "No, Prim's not in 4" deciding not to say anything more.
"Well, I hope she is doing good" Peeta says confused that Katniss did not say where Prim was living.
"I better go, I'll let you get some rest."
"Are you going back home?"
"To Hazelle's tonight, I will go home tomorrow."
"Where's home?"
"District 2."
"I never thought you'd leave 12" Peeta says looking surprised.
"A lot has happened to 12 since the quell."
Peeta gets a look of thought on his face and says, "Yes-sounds like it has. Thanks for coming to see me. I don't think I'll be getting to District 2 very often, so if I don't see you, take care of yourself."
"Thanks" Katniss says and she quickly leaves, deciding not to give him a final hug goodbye. All she wants to do at this point is get back on the train to 2.
When she comes out of Peeta's room she sees Haymitch waiting for her, Delly nowhere to be seen.
"Delly went to get some food in the cafeteria" Haymitch says, seeing Katniss look around for her.
"I'm heading to the train station" Katniss says quickly walking to the elevator.
"Katniss wait-are you alright?"
"He asked about Prim" Katniss says stopping to look at Haymitch.
"Shit" Haymitch says, scolding himself for forgetting about such a significant event in Katniss's life.
"It's okay Haymitch. I just….need to get home."
Knowing that she means she will be heading back to Silver Lake he says, "Okay, take care of yourself. And again I'm sorry."
"Let me know how he's doing" Katniss says as she turns and walks away. Haymitch watching her as she leaves.
She gets back to Hazelle's at 3 pm. She decides to go for a walk around the block a few times before heading in.
When she enters Hazelle's front door, she is greeted by Harper followed by the happy calls of Avery running down the hallway to run into Katniss's arms. She scoops Avery up in her arms and says, "Hey you, I missed you today." Avery giggling as Katniss tickles her while putting her down.
Sienna then comes to the door and Katniss reaches down to embrace her. Hugging both girls at the same time, Katniss is reminded of what Peeta taught her so long ago. That life can go on, no matter how bad. She realizes as she looks at her daughters, that everything happens for a reason. If Peeta's seizures are cured, she knows him forgetting about his life with her is a small sacrifice. A sacrifice she will easily make if it means his life becomes a more peaceful one.
When Gale comes home at 5, she immediately goes into his arms without saying a word. Knowing that something has happened, he hugs her tight until she pulls away.
"Can we go home?" Katniss asks softly.
"Sure Catnip" he says giving her a sympathetic smile.
They eat dinner with Hazelle and then Gale calls a cab to take all of them back to Silver Lake. Having missed the last train that left for Silver Lake earlier, the only option was to go by car. Gale sits in the back with Sienna on his lap as Katniss sits with Avery on hers, Harper sitting in between both of them on the floor. It was a tight fit, but they all arrive safely back to the house by 7:30. Once both girls are put to bed Katniss tells Gale about what happened at the hospital. She sees the slightest hint of relief in his eyes, though she can tell he is trying to hide it.
"I know this is probably for the best" Katniss says sitting beside Gale on the bed.
"Not for you it isn't" Gale says touching her shoulder.
"I just want him to get better."
"I want that too" Gale says as he leans in and hugs her tight.
September 5
"I think it would be safer if you stayed at my Mom's" Gale says to Katniss, irritated that she was being so stubborn.
"The girls will keep your Mom busy, and I'll only be an hour away in the Capitol."
"I can't believe you want to go to the Capitol, you hate going there."
"Haymitch will be there, I want to make sure Johanna will be okay, and you" Katniss says as she reaches for his hand, grabbing it in comfort.
"I can call you right after, I really wish you would stay with my Mom."
"I can handle myself in case something happens."
"But you're pregnant-"
"I can still move! And shoot if I need to. Next month will be a different story, but for now-I feel good." Knowing that this baby was going to be a lot bigger than her other two, Katniss knows once she enters her third trimester she won't be moving around that much.
"When Vick and I get back, I'm coming to find you, I don't care if I'm not allowed and I break protocol."
Katniss nods her head in understanding. She had told Gale that she was coming to the Capitol on the 7th, the day that Jasper's most trusted men were going to be captured. The plan was each man would be taken by groups of two. Gale with Vick, Johanna with a soldier, and the other members of Haymitch's group paired with a solider. Haymitch would be in a control room with Beetee, Heavensbee, and Katniss, listening in from the soldier's radio.
Johanna was to be disguised as a soldier, an extra precaution in case the man she approaches recognizes her. She was going to be capturing a man who lived in the Capitol and worked as a banker not far from the Capitol square. Gale and Vick would be in 2 near Silver Lake and the others would be going to various places in District 1, 2, and the Capitol. Paylor's people had watched and observed the men whose names and locations they had been given for the last several weeks, and it was decided that the majority of them would be taken in the morning, since most of them worked, they were going to be taken right before they begin their workday. For the ones that didn't work, the plan was for them to taken by force from their home. Due to the fact that Paylor wanted this done as quickly and as quietly as possible, the only ones being taken out of their homes would be the people who didn't have a set routine.
Tomorrow Gale and Katniss would be going to Hazelle's with the girls and Harper, while he had wanted Katniss to just stay at the townhouse until everyone was captured, he knows with her involvement with Haymitch's group, that sitting around and waiting was not an option.
He was glad his partner was Vick, for he knew only his Brother could help keep him calm and in check. He would be capturing a member of Jasper's inner circle, and being given the task of bringing this man back to the Capitol and standing guard while Vick piloted the hovercraft. He knows there is a chance he will lose his composure and punch the man over and over, doing to him what his group had done to Katniss, a small way to avenge the person he loved with all of his heart.
