Good Morning, Loves!
To those who celebrate, Happy Thanksgiving. I'm so grateful for all of you!
All mistakes are on me.
Chapter Forty-Four: Bella
December 9, 2022
London, England
"And that's my office building," I say, pointing to the tall glass structure. Esme snaps a photo on her phone.
"Any chance we can pop in for a visit? I'd love to see it!"
I laugh, shaking my head. "Probably not without me getting roped into something. This time of year is slammed for us."
I've been having to go into work more and more lately. It's getting harder to hide Spawn, though I'm not exactly sure why I'm still set on it. It just feels like a challenge at this point that I am determined to master.
"I get it. That's the same with Carlisle at the university," she says, patting her husband on the arm. Carlisle gives us a small smile. "Do we have time for bit of shopping before dinner?"
How this woman is still full energy despite the amount of travel she's just done is beyond me. The more time I spend with her, the more I realize that Alice has gotten a lot from her.
"I'm up for it," I say, nodding. Edward shrugs and we all turn to Carlisle. Unlike his wife, he's got a reasonable response to travel and he's been bravely trekking behind us even though he looks dead on his feet.
"I might head back to the hotel, take a nap."
Esme frowns. "Oh, of course. I'll take you back."
Carlisle shakes his head. "I'm fine, Es. You all have fun shopping."
I glance over to see Edward frowning at his dad. He looks over at me and I nod to him.
"I think I'll go with you, Dad. I could use some sleep. I've been waking up way too early lately."
My snicker is closer to a crackle and everyone looks at me. I put on my best innocent face and Edward laughs, leaning down to kiss me. "I'll see you later?"
I nod, kissing him once more before he pulls back. "Yeah, sounds good."
Edward and Carlisle turn to the street to hail a taxi while I turn to Esme. "Shopping?" I ask her. She nods.
"Yes, just a bit of last minute Christmas things," she says airly.
"Well, what are you looking for? There is a lot of shopping to be done in this city."
Esme grins and loops her arm through mine.
"I have an idea of where to start."
…
Esme is a force to be reckoned with when she's shopping. Despite the crowds, she's able to charge forward, finding everything she's looking for. She picks up gifts for Alice and Jasper, as well as Carlisle. I catch her a few times eyeing baby things, but then pretend to not notice. If she wants to buy Spawn shit, I won't complain. She's likely to know better what we'll need than I would.
"How is Edward doing?" Esme asks as we peruse sweaters. I find one that feels amazing, and immediately dive in for Edward's size. Now I'll have another excuse to feel him up.
"He's good," I say, glancing up at Esme. "He's busy, and I think overwhelmed sometimes, but in a good way. Academia is his world, and he thrives in it."
Esme nods.
"He's always been that way. Carlisle is a researcher, even though his true passion lies in helping people. But he and Edward used to spend weekends diving into archives, working on research projects together. It bored poor Alice and I to tears but they loved it."
I smile a little.
"How is Carlisle?"
Esme hesitates. "He's struggling," she says, surprising me. "When he had to leave working with patients, it was a difficult transition for him. Then the pandemic hit and his depression only got worse. We're working on it, but it's taking a while to pull him out of it again."
"Is he still teaching?"
Esme nods. "He's teaching twice a week, but after the pandemic, the university reevaluated the staffing situation. He teaches from home online. They took his office and gave it to a new professor, so now he just spends all his time at home. I know he loved going onto campus. It's been a hard adjustment for him."
I feel guilty for not knowing any of this.
"How has his heart been?"
Esme sighs.
"It's touch and go. We had a few rocky months, but he just had a small procedure and that's helped. He has a check up when we get back, and if he is still doing well, then we can skip the larger surgery in February."
I shake my head. Edward's never mentioned any of this. Does he know? How do I not?
"Esme, I'm really sorry." I reach out to her and she looks up at me in surprise.
"Oh, Sweetheart, it's nothing for you to be sorry for. This is life, and as difficult as the last few years have been, it's nothing compared to the world of good we've had. We'll get through this just like we get through everything, together."
She squeezes my fingers before letting go and turning to a clothing rack. "Oh what a lovely scarf. I wonder if Jasper would like this."
She's off, babbling about presents but I can't shake out of my thoughts. I've been a terrible daughter-in-law. How could I not know Carlisle was struggling so much? Have I really been so selfish and self absorbed that I've never asked? It makes me feel like utter shit, and I silently promise myself I'm going to do better.
