Yes, i know the title is very cliche. Oh well. I must warn you this chapter is a little...interesting. You may start laughing, but that will probably be at me and KCB, not the actually chapter. If you do start laughing at the chapter, then you'll make both of us happy. I'm trying to get her approval to write a MWPP fic along with a couple of original characters that will come up in later chapters. Maybe if you review lots she'll comly...wink wink. Anywho...
J.K. Rowling owns these characters. We are not J.K. Rowling. By the Transitive Property, we do not own these characters. Did we already use that disclaimer? I can't remember. Oh well. Onto chapter 14!
Chapter 14
The Sirius Mistake
Late at night, Sirius and Harry were keeping themselves occupied by Sirius attempting to teach Harry to become an Animagus in the Room of Requirement.
"No, no, no!! You need to focus!"
"I am focusing!!"
"Not hard enough apparently!!"
"It's rather hard to focus when you're screaming in my ear!"
"Well, I'm sorry! Read chapter two again!"
"I've got chapter two down, it's four I'm having troubles with!"
"'Becoming your animal'?! That's easy!!"
"Maybe for you, Mr. Black Dog!" The sounds of many pairs of feet thundering past them in the hallway abruptly stopped their argument.
"Harry, are you here?!" Mr. Weasley's panicked voice cried.
"We can't find Sirius either!" Molly shouted.
"You don't think that Death Eaters captured him too, do you??"
"How can they? They still think he's dead, remember?"
"Oh yeah. Probably just Sirius being Sirius. Harry!!!!"
"Yes, but we told him to wait here!"
"He probably went looking for those lousy, good for nothing Death Eaters! You know him!"
"Harry!!!!!!!!!! Do you reckon he's still alive?" Little did they know, Harry was only a few feet away from them, listening to their entire conversation.
"Yes, Molly, Harry is better than that, you know him!"
"Oh, but I'm just so worried about him! I should have been watching him better!"
"You know how Harry is, trouble finds him, and he can usually take care of himself. C'mon, let's go!"
"Go where?!"
"I don't know, somewhere Harry could be. In other words, not here."
Mr. and Mrs. Weasley's voices drifted away as they walked down the hall.
"Um, Sirius, aren't we going to get into really big trouble?"
"Now that you mention it, yeah."
"So, now what???"
"Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..."
"Great. You never thought this far ahead?!"
"Nope." Harry banged his head on the wall in front of them. "Stop it, you're gonna knock yourself out! Wait! That gives me an idea!!"
"You had an idea?! I always knew it would happen someday..."
"Shut it Harry. Listen. I stun you, we come out with the invisibility cloak, make it look like I just saved you from a bunch of Death Eaters and come out of the fireplace."
"Sirius, that's the worst idea I've ever heard! You are not going to stun me!"
"Do you have a better idea?"
"Ummmmm, nope sorry."
"Fine, then it's settled. Do you have a quill?"
"What?!"
"Well, it would be kind of suspicious if you were unharmed."
"And what do you plan to do with my quill, if I give it to you?"
"Aha!! So you do have one! Accio quill!"
"Hey!"
"Great. No ink."
"Haha!"
"Oh be quiet. I could just use Diffindo to get the desired affect."
"Here! Take my ink!!"
"I knew you'd see it my way." He changed the ink from black to a deep red, and began slashing Harry's face with it.
"Ow!! Sirius, that hurts!!"
"Do you want to make this look realistic or not?"
"What are you doing to me?!"
"Writing on you."
"Do I look like a piece of parchment to you?"
"No comment."
"Sir-OW!!"
"Oh sorry, you moved."
"Would you cut that out?"
"Just a couple more...now onto your arms!"
"Aaaaaaahhhh!"
"Oh, be a man and deal with it. Do you want to see Mrs. Weasley's face when she realizes that you were never in any danger whatsoever?"
"Not in any danger, huh?"
"Oh be quiet and give me your glasses."
"What do you want with my glasses?!"
"I just want to break them!"
"Hey!"
"Harry, I'm a wizard. I can repair them, remember?"
"Fine, here, take them."
"Thanks!" He proceeded to throw them on the floor and pummel them with his shoe.
"Okay, that's enough!" Finally, the desired affect was reached and Harry appeared to have been severely beaten by a mob of quills. "I don't think this really looks right."
"What are you talking about?? It looks...great."
"Maybe we should just give up."
"NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We can't give up!! Do you realize what Molly would do to me?!"
"No, but I'm guessing it involves you dieing in some way, most likely slow and painful."
"Thanks for the encouragement."
"You're welcome."
"Now come on, we are going to show all of these people that you really did get captured by Death Eaters."
"Sirius, I..."
"Stupefy!" Harry fell backwards onto the floor, unconscious. "Mobilicorpus!" Harry hovered above the ground grotesquely and Sirius led him into the fireplace. He threw some floo powder into the flames, shoved Harry in, and cried, "Gryffindor common room, Hogwarts!"
"Now what, Dumbledore? We've searched everywhere. He obviously didn't escape," Mr. Weasley asked. The Order had come together in Dumbledore's office discussing what to do about Harry.
"I don't know," replied the headmaster. At this point they heard a loud banging on the door. Dumbledore stood up, walked slowly over to the door, and opened it revealing Sirius and the unconscious, quill-marked Harry.
"Dumbledore, he was attacked! Viciously! I only just found him..."
"Sirius, come with me and we'll take him to the hospital wing." Dumbledore pulled Sirius out of the room, took him aside, and remarked, "Okay, Sirius, what really happened?"
"Uh, well, some Death Eaters were torturing him when I found him, and I uh, stunned them all and brought Harry back here? Heh, heh?"
"Nice try. Now, tell me the truth."
"That was the truth! What, you don't believe me?"
"No, actually I don't."
"Okay, fine. I snuck into Diagon Alley with Harry's invisibility cloak, grabbed Harry, we came back here and..."
"...and caused the entire wizarding community to go into a state of panic."
"But, Harry's okay, isn't that enough?"
"Well, considering he was attacked by vicious quills and stunned by his own godfather, I doubt it."
"So, what are you going to do to me?"
"Normally for a case of abduction, I would ask Filch to hang you from the ceiling by your ankles. However, in this case, I'll just tell the entire Order, who will be thoroughly upset at you, and probably try to kill you. I suggest you start running now."
"Where's Filch?"
"Very funny. As long as you show me Harry's okay, maybe I'll let you off this time..."
"He's fine!!! See, ennervate!" Harry opened his eyes, and seeing Dumbledore immediately sprang into a long apologetic speech.
"Professor! I'm sorry but I couldn't help it! Sirius, he snuck up behind me and tied me up and I didn't know what was happening anyway so when I found out it was Sirius I went back to Hogwarts with him and we've been here ever since but we didn't want anyone to worry but we also didn't want to get in trouble so we came up with the idea, well actually it was all Sirius's idea, to pretend I was kidnapped by Death Eaters and so he attacked me with quills and broke my glasses and stunned me and it's all his fault don't expel me!!!!!!"
"Thanks for the help Harry."
"Sirius explained it all to me but it was rather interesting hearing it from your point of view."
"So you're not going to expel me?"
"Not unless you want me to."
"Yes he does!"
"No I don't!"
"Now, let's see if we can't make this whole story seem convincing." Dumbledore cleaned the massive amounts of ink used on Harry off and fixed his glasses. "Harry, you'll have to stay hidden for a few days to make this look real."
"But what about the Daily Prophet?"
"We simply tell them that an anonymous rescuer saved you and leave it at that."
"That works."
"And Sirius, you're welcome to stay with him, but please don't cause any more catastrophes."
"Aye aye, captain!"
What did i tell you? Veeeeeeeeeery unusual. But then again, this is us you're talking about. PLEEEEEEEEEEZZE REVIEW!!!!!!!!
