Snippets Before and After the Ads

By Sharan McQuack, Launchpad's wife.


Remember those "snippets" before and after the ads on "Ducktales"? Those photo-like "cells" of the "Ducktales" gang?

There was one of Mr. McDuck and the boys in a canoe that's about to go over a waterfall. There was one of the triplets riding an elephant over a ricketty bridge. Another of Mr. McDuck putting his head in a lion's mouth, yet another of Mr. McDuck finding a treasure only to be threatened by a gorilla. I'm stringing them together to make a story, here.

Straying completely and totally off topic: If you liked "Peter Pan", please check out Ridley Pearson's and Dave Barry's (no relation to the original Mr. Barrie, I trust ) book: "Peter and the Starcatchers". It would make a great movie prequel to "Peter Pan", Disney!)


Mr. McDuck and the Boys were paddling down a river in India, looking for treasure, when all of the sudden:

"We're running out of river! Waterfall! With sharp, pointy rocks at the bottom! We're doomed!" Mr. McDuck screamed.

However, Louie (the best lasso-er of the trio) managed to lasso a tree on the nearest shore and they all pulled on the rope for dear life, fighting the current, fighting gravity.

"Can you lasso a tree on the other side? We could tie both ropes together to make a bridge of sorts?" Mr. McDuck asked Louie.

Louie tried, but the other rope was not long enough and it was the longest rope they had.

"Louie! Look over there! See that outcropping of rocks in mid-river? They are in the same direction as that tree you tried to reach. They're closer than the tree is, can you lasso them?" Huey asked.

"Worth a try." said Louie and try he did.

Only the rocks were too wet, too slippery and too rounded by the force of the water. Every time Louie got the lasso around them, it just slipped right off again. Finally, he had to give up before he got too tired to hang onto the one rope he had roped to a tree.

So they just hung on to the one rope they had for as long as they could, but in the end, the current and gravity won- as "they" had to, for "they" don't get tired. Mr. McDuck and the boys fell DOWN! And landed, soft, safe in the back of Launchpad's cargo plane.

"Need a lift?" Launchpad joked.

"Launchpad? What are YOU doing here?" Mr. McDuck roared.

"I flew you guys to India, then you made me fly some cargo elsewhere. But I got worried about you. So on my way back to Duckberg, I just "happened" to fly over the area I saw on your map and kept my eyes open." Launchpad began.

" Good thing this plane is a "convertible"- my own design. This isn't exactly the first time you guys have "dropped in" on me- and I'm not always flying the Joyrider (1) or Sharan's Song (2), which have open cockpits." Launchpad finished.

"Launchpad, we can't fly back to Duckberg just yet. We're searching for a lost elephant. He was carrying treasure, a repayment of a loan to the Prince Ali of Quackistan(3)when a storm came up and the elephant got lost." Mr. McDuck started.

"I have reason to believe this was not an accident- if that treasure is lost, war will break out between the two countries. I think somebody who wants to start a war arranged for the elephant to get "lost". Besides, he's a tame elephant and he TRUSTS people. Hunters will shoot him for his tusks and take the treasure as well." Mr. McDuck continued.

"He doesn't know how to survive in the wild. We must find that elephant and deliver the treasure before a war can break out!" Mr. McDuck finished.

"Well, it should be easier to spot an elephant from up here!" Launchpad said.

And it was.

But hunters had found the elephant first. They were going to shoot him for his tusks, take the treasure and his gear and make it look like they shot a wild elephant.

"Not while I'm around, they're not!" Launchpad said.

And he swooped the plane down, his engines straining.

" Is this plane bulletproof enough to stand up to an elephant gun?" Mr. McDuck said, understandably concerned.

"It's not bulletproof at all! It doesn't have to be!" Launchpad said.

So Launchpad whooshed the plane, low and fast, right between the elephant and the hunters, stirring up quite a wind and knocking the hunters down.(4)Their guns went off in mid-air, harmlessly and the elephant spooked.

"Slow down, Launchpad- but keep flying as low as you can!" Mr. McDuck said.

"You got it, boss!" Launchpad replied.

Then Launchpad's jaw dropped as Mr. McDuck managed to hook the elephant's "reins" with his cane and the elephant followed them as fast as a pachyderm (5) can.

Launchpad slowed down as much as he could. The elephant, now that panic-time was over, was much calmer- especially once it realized it was again being led someplace, albeit in an extremely unorthodox fashion.

"I think we lost those hunters! Besides, I'm running out of land empty enough to fly so low over! Or land on! I better land before while I still can!" Launchpad said.

"Fine by me, it feels like my arm is going to come off!" said Mr. McDuck.

Mr. McDuck gratefully let go of the elephant's reins, pulling along an elephant at that speed wasn't exactly comfortable.

So Launchpad landed the plane, they he unloaded a large dolly. They hooked the dolly to the elephant's reins and piled on top of the cart.

"McQuack the Mahout, that's me!" (6) Launchpad said.

BUT- "Don't look now, Mr. "Mahout", but those hunters you "lost" are following us!" Mr. McDuck said.

" Ah, come on, Uncle Scrooge- they must of found and followed our tracks! How was Launchpad supposed to hide an ELEPHANT's tracks?" asked Dewey.

Being the middle kid and often over-looked, he's caught on to the fact that his great-uncle can be a tad unreasonable at time. Not just to Launchpad, it's just that Launchpad is THERE for Mr. McDuck to be unreasonable to so often.

Then they reached a bridge- an old rickety, wooden bridge.

"We'll have to ford the river- there's no way we can take an elephant over that!" Mr. McDuck said.

"What Dewey just said gave me an idea: what if we make the hunters THINK we did? We could lead the elephant to the bridge, then down to the river. I think I could hide his tracks from the bridge to the river- and make fake elephant tracks over the bridge?" Launchpad suggested.

"Good idea! Here's an old tree stump, fallen over. It will make lovely "elephant footprints", if we get the bottom of the stump dirty!" Mr. McDuck said.

"This leafy branch will do as a broom for sweeping away the footprints from the bridge to the river with!"(7) Huey said.

They had to work quickly before the hunters got close enough to see what they were up to. Launchpad led the elephant to the bridge, then down to the river. Louie made the "elephant" footprints over the bridge because he's the lightest of the trio (8).

Then the boys rode the elephant and they forded the river. Once on the other side, the boys got off the elephant, Launchpad led the pachyderm to the bridge while the boys hid the elephant footprints that led from the river to the bridge. Then they continued on their way.

The hunters got to the bridge too late to see ANY of this. When the hunters got to the bridge and saw the "elephant tracks" going right over it, they SOMEHOW assumed it would hold their weight. It didn't.

It distresses me somewhat to admit Launchpad made sure it wouldn't. When they forded that river, as they passed under the bridge, Launchpad made several cuts to the ropes and the slats of the bridge. So he's not a plaster saint. It's not like the hunters got hurt, just wet and muddy and their guns and ammo were ruined.

It also got the hunters MAD. They chased after our heroes.

However, Mr. McDuck has had PLENTY of experience rigging booby traps for his Money Bin and the Trins (9) have learned likewise from the Jr. Woodchuck Guidebook. They rigged plenty of hunter-traps- not to hurt the hunters, just to keep them busy. The hunters had enough experience with traps to avoid the traps- but they wasted a lot a time doing so.

Meanwhile, the Ducktales gang had reached the ruins of an East Indian temple.

"There was a war here, once" said Huey.

For Huey had found arrowheads and spearheads and broken and rusted swords.

"Looks like whoever won tore the place apart looking for something." Dewey said.

"Something? You mean like- treasure?" Mr. McDuck asked.

"Uncle Scrooge, haven't we enough treasure for one day? Besides, that was ages ago- the treasure, if any, is long gone by now." Louie said.

"Maybe not. There's not one block left on top of another. They were ALL torn down in the search. Would somebody do that if they FOUND what they were looking for- or if they didn't and they got mad and frustrated?" Mr. McDuck asked.

"Maybe it was in the last place they looked. Maybe some of the blocks fell down long after they looked." Launchpad suggested.

"Perhaps. But it could not hurt to look while we catch our breath, now, can it? Like that statue you are sitting on." Mr. McDuck said.

Mr. McDuck indicting a marble statue of a lion Launchpad was sitting on.(10)

"This? It's solid marble. Unlike the rest of the temple which is some sort of brick or weaker stone." Launchpad said.

"Is it? Solid, I mean. The body is almost undamaged, but the head has cracks in it- lots of them." Mr. McDuck said.

And he felt around the carved lion's head, probing until- the lions' jaw open, revealing a hidden treasure in gems!

"Now, where can I put these? The elephant has enough to carry, but where else would be safe?" Mr. McDuck asked.

"How's about the picnic basket- after we empty it?" Launchpad asked.

"Hmpfh! Hungry as usual!' Mr. McDuck said.

"So are we, Unca Scrooge." the Boys chorused.

"Very well. Might as well have lunch here." Mr. McDuck said.

And was highly embarrassed when his own stomach gave a VERY loud growl at the thought. Distracted by treasure, he had not realized that he was hungry, too. So they unpacked the picnic basket with their usual peanut butter sandwiches.(11)

Hardly had they finished eating their sandwiches did a hungry bear, (12)attracted by the smell, come from one direction- and the hunters, still after tusks and treasure, came from another!

"Run!" yelled Mr. McDuck.

The Ducktales gang ran from the bear and the hunters and the next thing they knew the hunters and the bear were facing each other!

"Ut-oh! I didn't intend to get the hunters in trouble like that!' said Mr. McDuck.

Mr. McDuck grabbed the three candy bars he made the triplets save for dessert and threw them one after the other. The candy bars went whizzing past the bear, away from the hunters, each candy went further than the one before. The bear went after the candy bars. Launchpad then threw the picnic basket even further in the same direction as the candy bars.

"Scram! Before Yogi there finds out that basket is almost empty! And by the way, hunters- we COULD of let you keep the bear busy while we got away!" Launchpad yelled.

The hunters still chased the Ducktales bunch- but their hearts were not in it. The elephant actually outran the Ducktales bunch- he had somehow figured out that the hunters were NOT his friends. They soon reached an old, worn, wooden slat fence that marked the border between Agrabah (13)and Quackistan.

The gate/entrance was miles away, but the fence was no match for a one-pachyderm stampede. Soon the fence was matchsticks: the elephant went right thru the fence.

Agrabah turns a blind eye to hunters, Quackistan does NOT. It has lots of cops patrolling it's borders looking for would-be hunters. The hunters knew this and gave up the chase.

Soon, the Ducktales bunch gave the Treasure- re-payment of a loan from Macaroon to Quackistan- to Quackistan's Prince Ali. (14) But the Prime Minister of Quackistan STILL tried DESPERATELY to start a war ANYWAY. He said Macaroon should not of used an elephant for transport, they should of protected the treasure better, it was an insult to Quackistan- all sorts of saber rattling.

"My Prince, who is Ruler here, the Prime Minister or you? Why does your Prime Minister seek War with Macaroon so much?" Mr. McDuck asked, all innocence.

" Perhaps it has something to do with certain moneys that have unaccountably gone missing from the Royal Treasury." Prince Ali began.

"I have long suspected somebody has been embezzling from my people and me but I had no proof and did not know who might be guilty. If a war started, I would not have time to look into it. But this treasure arriving on time means an audit will have to be done on the Treasury- such an audit might point to the guilty party." Prince Ali continued.

" I had hoped the missing money was an accounting error- it seems I hoped in vain. I will call for that audit now. But I have a feeling I know what it will show me. Guards! The Prime Minister is to be held in jail on suspicion of embezzling!" Prince Ali finished.

And indeed, the audit showed how the Prime Minister had been stealing from the country of Quackistan for years, how he tried to cover his tracks- but his own greed betrayed him. He stole so MUCH money it was impossible to hide ALL the traces.

The End.


(1) Launchpad's favorite bi-plane.
(2)The bi-plane I gave him as a Valentine's day gift

(3)Idea stolen from "Star Trek: the Voyage Home." Please don't sue me.

(4)I learned that word from "Dumbo". Who says cartoons aren't educational? If you have a kid under 12 you should at least rent it- it's on DVD now.

(5) Disney's Ducktales #18)from the Grand Kishe of Macaroon ("Working for Scales"

(6)That's what the driver of an elephant is called. I learned that from an issue of "Shazam" and for all I know, so did Launchpad. You learn weird things from comic books.

(7)Idea stolen from the Original Disney classic animated movie: "101 Dalmatians". Resolved: The live-action remakes do not hold a candle to the original 101 Dalmatians movie. Sorry.

(8) Like by about 3 pounds
(9) Another word for triplets

(10) Disney has shown Launchpad (usually in DW) eating chicken. Humans eat steak and cows are a mammal. So why couldn't ducks eat chicken?

(11)Yes, there are too lions in Asia! I didn't know that either, once. Not very many left but some still in India.

(12)There are NO gorillas in India!

(13)Cheap Aladdin joke. It's right under Macaroon and Quackistan

(14)From Disney's Ducktales comic book #18. This Prince Ali's a dog. No relation to Aladdin, I trust.