MaibeJosie: This story takes place between Our Lips are Sealed and Total Eclipse of the Heart. Anything past Our Lips are Sealed haven't happened (such as the Spaige hook-up).
Begin
Lately life's gotten a little confusing. You hear all these people saying high school is supposed to be the best time of your life. We're supposed to hang out with your best friend and love some girl. You're supposed to be able to do your passion. Well I can't.
I can't hang out with my best friend because he got me shot. I'm not exaggerating. I will never walk again according to the doctors. Ten years from now when I'm watching this, I'll still be sitting in this damn chair or maybe a different one. But it'll still be one with wheels that I can't get out of to stretch my legs. Thanks Spin. Real nice of you.
But I can't stay that mad at him. Every day I find myself forgiving him a little more and I hate it. I don't want to forgive him. But then I remember all the things we used to do together. We'd probably still be best friends if he hadn't got me shot. I hate him for it but still I'm forgiving him a little. But he'll never know. He'll never see this confession.
Why can't I love some girl? Easy. I've loved two. Ashley and Hazel. Both relationships ended. Ashley ended ages ago. Hazel ended recently. She wanted me to be the Jimmy I used to be. She tried to accept my art and my feelings for Ellie but she got jealous and dumped me. And I even like Ellie but I can't be with her anyway. Like she'd ever like me like that. I have fifteen pounds of metal attached to my butt. Girls don't like guys in wheelchairs.
And how about things you're passionate about. That was basketball for me. I can't even play anymore on my team. I'm supposed to be helping coach but screw it. Basketball was part of the old Jimmy. Now I'm stuck in the middle. I'm trying to find something to do with my art. It's a new passion but I can't even think of a way to tie that into my future. It'd be pretty lame to be one of those starving artists. And they don't really have college scholarships for art... or at least none that I've found.
And college. That's the really hard part. I might not even be graduating this year. So if I'm not graduating with the class of 2006, then I'm not even out here watching this thing. All my friends, Paige, Hazel, Ellie, Marco, maybe even Craig, are all watching this but I'm not. That kinda sucks. But at least I don't have to hear my whining.
So since I'm never going to see this, unless by some miracle I do graduate, I guess I can just come out and say something that's been building up inside of me for ages. I blame myself for the whole shooting thing. I may have come to terms with Rick before he shot me but in that one moment when he was pointing that gun at my head, I should've said something and maybe I'd be walking and maybe I'd still be friends with Spin and still be with Hazel. I also sometimes wish that I would've died. That Rick wouldn't have missed the shot and I would've died. Then I wouldn't be worrying about all this crap.
So that's it. That's everything I have to say. Shocked?
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Jimmy turned off the camera and sat on the stool for a moment, shocked at what he had just said to the camera. He wished he could go back and erase the last few things he had said. It wasn't like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. It wasn't anything like that. Instead, all it did was add to the confusion growing inside of him.
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Next Chapter: Marco Del Rossi lets out the real him.
Author's Note: Sorry it took me so long to update. I've been busy and I went on spring break and then my computer wouldn't let me upload onto the site. But that's fixed now and I'll try to have Marco's chapter done ASAP. As always, read and review please.
