Chapter Sixty: Bella

May 28, 2024

Cambridge, England

I hear the front door open and then approximately ten seconds later, Edward is shouting.

"Dammit, Bella! People are going to be here any minute!"

I pop my head out of the bathroom, glaring at Edward. "Like I don't know that!" I snap at him. He huffs, dropping grocery bags in the kitchen before he turns back to the living room. He starts picking up shit I've yet to get to, the tension in his shoulders passive-aggressive. I huff and step back into the bathroom.

"Why isn't anything done?" he demands, his tone accusing.

I step back out, my eyes narrowing.

"We have a shitnado happening! Would you rather deal with it?"

Edward doesn't answer me, and I huff, shutting the door. I turn back to my daughter who is literally covered in shit.

"How?" I demand, reaching for the shower attachment. She is trying to climb out of the tub and play, but I have to keep putting her back.

It smells awful, and it's only getting worse.

How can one person so small be so absolutely fucking disgusting?

"Sit still, Spawn," I say, turning on the water. My only option is to hose her down, throw away the party outfit one of our friends bought her, and stuff her in something else.

Then I need to scrub myself clean because I am now also covered in shit.

She starts crying when I turn the water toward her, and I know it's because usually at bath time, we have much more fun. We have toys and bubbles, and it's generally a good time.

Not today.

Today is about crisis management.

"Fuck," I hiss when I accidentally spray myself while trying to stop her from climbing out of the tub. "Come on, Spawn, knock it off."

She keeps fighting me though, and in a moment of frustration, I toss the showerhead into the bathtub, kick off my clothes and climb in the tub with her.

She immediately calms down, curious as I settle in the tub with her. "What the fuck did you eat?" I gasp, shaking my head as I start hosing her down.

"Mama," she says, starting to climb into my lap.

"Hold on, kiddo. You are still disgusting."

There is shit literally everywhere, and her once cute chunky thighs are now my worst nightmare as they somehow hold shit between each chubby roll.

We'd been planning Spawn's first birthday for a while now, and everything was going fine until Edward and I both came down with colds. We'd been bedridden for the last week and a half, and though we both thought we'd be better by the time of the party, it left very little time for essentials like cleaning or cooking.

I'd sent Edward out this morning to get food for the party while I decided to clean up, but then the literal shitstorm landed, and I'd abandoned the apartment in a state of chaos.

I reach for a cloth and Spawn's baby soap, lathering her up to make sure all the shit is off her body. She starts to get fussy again, and I shake my head.

"I know, kid, but we're on a timeline now. Everyone is coming for your birthday. We have to get our shit together."

Edward opens the bathroom door, just as I'm washing away the last of the soap from her.

"What are you…" He looks me over in the tub with Spawn and I shake my head.

"Only thing I could do to keep her in," I say, putting the shower head down and standing. I scoop her up as he grabs a towel. He takes Spawn into his arms, wrapping her up. "Plus, I'm covered in shit too."

He grimaces. "I'll get her dressed."

I nod as he leaves the bathroom. I shower quickly, scrubbing my skin well to make sure I'm actually clean.

When I'm done, I wrap myself in a towel, pick up my clothes and race back to our room.

"There isn't anything clean for her to wear," Edward says, the moment I'm through the door.

"Shit," I moan, realizing he's right. We haven't done laundry in a long ass time. I head into the closet to look for anything but the only thing I'm able to find is her duck costume from Halloween.

I hold it up and Edward shakes his head. "We can't," he says. "People already think it's weird how into ducks we are."

I toss it at him.

"Lean into the crazy," I say, dropping my towel. The moment I'm naked, Spawn is reaching for me, her little fists opening and closing.

"Tata!"

Great, now she wants to nurse.

I look at Edward, who looks as frazzled as I feel. "Go make sure everything is ready," I tell him. "I'll nurse her and get her dressed."

Edward lets out a tense breath and leaves the bedroom.

I sit on the edge of our bed, reaching for Spawn. I crawl back, leaning against our headboard as she snuggles right into my arms, immediately latching on.

"Why are we even having this party?" I ask no one in particular. "It's not like you'll remember it, and daddy and I aren't even well yet." I let out a yawn, realizing just how fatigued I still am.

Spawn likes to take her time nursing, and as she does, I lean back on the bed, my head resting against Edward's pillow.

Before I know it, I'm passed out.