Hi everyone! KCB again! This next chapter...well, i think you'll enjoy it. I did! (Well, that could be because I helped write it) But, if you think ths chapter's crazy, just wait until 32! (Heeheehee!)
NOTE: I think, from where 5 left off, that Cho and Harry are technically on speaking terms, but for the puropse of the last chapter, just refer back to that fateful Hogsmeade trip on Valentine's Day.
We still don't own Harry Potter! (Italics are Harry's thoughts.)
And other things too (wink wink).
Chapter 31
The Deep and Complex Thoughts of Harry Potter
Wow. I'm falling pretty fast. I wonder how long it'll take me to get to the ground. This is the second time I've fallen today. Wait, technically that Quidditch game was yesterday. Hold on-Quidditch-I had my broom, well, Cho had my broom. I don't have my broom this time. That could be a problem. I'm actually going to hit the ground now. I'm going to die. I'M GOING TO DIE!
"HELP! I'M GOING TO DIE!" Isn't that what Ron said right before he got bitten by that acromantula? Wow, it is. Ron didn't die. But no one except Draco knows that I'm out here. And I highly doubt that Draco's going to go and save me. Oh, no. I really am going to die. What about that prophesy? Only Voldemort can kill me! Does this count? Is Malfoy a Death Eater sent by Voldemort? Is Malfoy Voldemort? He's evil enough, that's for sure.
Oh, wait, right, I'm about to die. I should do something about that. But what? My wand's falling so much slower than I am and I can't reach it. I could always try flapping my arms. But that would be useless and stupid. Why do I care? I'm going to die in a couple seconds anyway. And besides, who's going to see me? Draco. Like I care what he thinks.
HOLD ON! I'm going up! How, for the love of Merlin am I going up? It defies every law of nature and physics I know! Which really, when you think about it isn't much, considering the Durselys didn't really care what school taught me as long as it was cheap. And besides, I defy laws of science all the time with my wand, which I don't have right now. But still, how does this work?
And the wind feels really cold on my feathers. My-feathers. Since when do I have feathers? Why do I suddenly have golden feathers on my arms? Wait a second, since when do I not have arms? They're-they're-wings? MY ANIMAGUS FORM! I'M A PHOENIX! I TRANSFORMED! I DID IT! I DON'T HAVE ANY IDEA HOW TO STEER THIS THING!
Harry ended up pummeling himself into a wall no less than ten times before falling through an open window. He wondered vaguely who in their right mind would let the chilly November air as he collapsed into a pile of feathers on something hard.
"Fawkes? Fawkes, are you alright?" Harry heard a female voice asking. Too weak and sore to move, he let whomever it was take him into her arms and carry him across the room. She opened up a side chamber and walked in, lighting the room with her wand.
"What is it, I want to sleep," someone mumbled.
"Sirius, there's something wrong with Fawkes!" Okay, so that was Sirius. That meant the woman was Heather. They'd be able to sort all of this out.
"That's nice, dear."
"Sirius Or-"
"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT FINISHING MY MIDDLE NAME!"
"Will you just get over here already! Fawkes is hurt!"
"So take him to Dumbledore!"
"Come with me!"
"Why?"
"Because I said so."
"That's a stupid reason."
"Will you just get up already!"
"Fine, I'm coming, I'm coming."
Harry, after regaining most of his senses, was trying to transform back to his regular self on the way to the Headmaster's office. However, he found that Sirius had conveniently forgotten to tell him how to accomplish this, and was having some difficulties doing it on his own.
"Headmaster!" Heather called as she opened up the door to his room, Harry still in her arms. Sirius dragged himself in later and collapsed into one of Dumbledore's chairs.
"Yes, Heather? Is something wrong?"
"Dumbledore, it's Fawkes, he's hurt badly!"
"But-but that cannot be-Fawkes is right over there!" He pointed to a perch near his desk where the phoenix sat, one eye open to inspect the newcomers.
"Then, but, how many other phoenixes have his plumage?" Sirius asked, finally awake enough to get into the conversation. "I always thought he was one of a kind!"
"As did I," Dumbledore responded, looking quite perplexed.
"Sure, some upstart little birdie has to come and steal my fame." Harry lifted his head up and looked around the room, searching for the source of the voice. "Over here. Honestly. And you call yourself a phoenix?"
"You-who are you?" Harry questioned, finding it weird to speak in phoenix.
"The old man over there calls me Fawkes, but I'd really rather keep my old name."
"Which is…"
"Gryffindor."
"You're Gryffindor? As in, Godric Gryffindor?"
"No, I'm Gryffindor, as in, the pet of Godric Gryffindor. How do you do, Mr.…"
"Potter. I think. I'm not really sure any more."
"How can you not be sure?"
"Well, I used to be a person but my godfather never told me how to transform back."
"Ah, your animagus form. Quite becoming, really. Come over here and I'll explain the life of a phoenix to you." Harry got up from Heather's arms and flew wobbly over to Fawkes, or Gryffindor, or whoever he was. The phoenix was about to say something as the door suddenly burst open, and everyone turned to stare at the form that literally hurtled itself into the room. At once, Harry recognized its flaming hair.
"Dum-dumbledore-you've got to-we can't find…"
"Ron, what are you babbling about?" Sirius questioned with a hint of annoyance.
"Sirius? You've heard? We've got to-"
"I've heard what?"
"Ronald," Heather prodded gently, "what are you trying to say?"
"Harry's gone. He's missing!"
"WHAT!" Sirius was out of his chair at an almost inhuman speed and ran over to Ron, shaking him. "How? When? WHAT HAPPENED!"
"I-I don't know, I just woke up, because I heard someone screaming outside, and I was about to ask Harry if he'd heard it, and he wasn't there!"
"What were they screaming?" Heather asked softly.
"It sounded like 'help,' then something else I couldn't make out, it-it did sort of sound like him…"
"Death eaters have my godson. HARRY!" Sirius made to tear out of the room, but Heather grabbed his robes and stopped him.
"You can't just go running out into the middle of something like that!"
"I can when it's my godson we're talking about! Harry's probably being tortured or something as we speak and I'm just standing here!"
"They're really worried about you."
"Yeah, I know. They do that a lot."
"We probably should get their attention, though."
"True." Harry flew over to them and lighted on Sirius's shoulder.
"Get off!"
"Sirius, it's just a bird, it doesn't know what it's doing," Ron countered.
"I do too know what I'm doing!" Sirius and Ron got into a loud argument while Dumbledore tried to shut both of them up and Heather attempted to think things through. She got a look of understanding on her face and stared up at Harry, mouthing something at him. Harry, getting the picture, nodded vigorously just as Sirius made a lunge at Ron; as a result, Harry was thrown off his godfather and landed on Heather's outstretched hand. Knowing full well she would never make herself heard over the racket, she placed a Sonorous Charm on herself and screamed, "SHUT UP!"
In the Gryffindor common room-
People were running wildly all over the place, overturning chairs and tables, screaming their heads off.
"SHUT UP!" All of the occupants froze in place, looked at each other for a few seconds, then continued on with whatever they were doing, excluding Hermione and Ginny, who raced off to find the source of Heather's voice.
In the Hufflepuff common room-
Most of the students were sleeping soundly, except for a few late night studiers.
"SHUT UP!" Everyone woke up and huddled together, a few of the younger students whimpering.
In the Ravenclaw common room-
Everyone was fast asleep. No one even woke up at the sound of their Defense teacher's voice.
In the Slytherin common room-
A group of older Slytherins was sitting around, discussing ways to wreak havoc among the Gryffindors.
"SHUT UP!"
"Whatever," Malfoy growled.
Back in the Headmaster's office-
Sirius, Ron, and Dumbledore stopped yelling immediately and looked over at her.
"Harry's fine!"
"What are you talking about?" Sirius practically screamed.
"I don't think he can transform back."
"Huh?" Ron stared stupidly at her.
"Why do you think there are two phoenixes?"
"Harry-Harry's animagus form! Of course! Oh, no, I never told you how to turn yourself human, did I?" Harry shook his head and Sirius started laughing. "This is exactly what happened to James! He was the first of us to transform, and he was stuck as a stag for three days! Don't worry though," he added quickly, "we figured it out.
"Okay, first, um, wow, I haven't thought about this for awhile. Alright, think about, uh, Quidditch! Yes, think about Quidditch! Then-"
"WHERE'S HARRY!" Everyone started as two girls screamed at the gargoyle statue.
"It's Hermione and Ginny," Ron chuckled. "Should I let them in?"
"Yes, please do," Dumbledore replied.
"So, then focus on the ground," Sirius continued. "The way the ground looks and how-oh, sod it, I'm getting the book." Hermione and Ginny, in a mad rush to find Harry, threw Sirius to the ground before he could get out of the office.
"IS HAR-"
"He's fine Hermione, now get off me!" Sirius barked. "I have to go find the book."
"Ooh, maybe I can help! What book?"
"How to Become an Animagus and other Complex Spells."
"Oh, I borrowed that from Harry! I have it with me?"
"WHY?"
"I've already finished reading the course texts and I was skimming through that when Ron woke me up, screaming that Harry was missing, and I never put it back in my trunk. Why do you need it-Oh! I get it! Hang on, let me find the chapter."
"Ginny?"
"Yes, er, Professor Black?"
"Why on earth was Hermione reading a book about Animagi at one in the morning?"
"Because she's Hermione," Ron explained.
"Yeah. That helped a lot."
"You humans argue too much."
"You've got no idea Fa-Gryffindor."
"Do I? I live in the Headmaster's office, you know."
"Right. Forgot about that."
"So tell me Harry, just how useful are opposable thumbs?"
"Very. But you can heal people with your tears and go all over the place in some flash of light, I'd call that pretty cool."
"You've forgotten about the whole immortality thing."
"Are phoenixes immortal?"
"We're close, but not quite."
"Does it hurt when you burst into flames?"
"Not really, at least, I never remember feeling any pain."
"And how do you get yourself to cry on command? I can't do that."
"You learn. Just think about the person that is hurt, pretend that it's all your fault and that they're already dead and boom-you start crying." Harry cocked his head and stared at the old bird, who appeared to be laughing. "Don't worry, I'll coach you through all the aspects of phoenixisation."
"Is that a word?"
"No, but when no one can understand a thing you say, you can make up words. Of course, now that you're here I have someone else I can communicate with."
"What about Dumbledore?"
"I can get my points across, but nothing more."
"Harry! Earth to Harry! Yoo-hoo! Sirius calling birdbrain, are you there?" In response, Harry nipped his godfather's hand. "Ow! You didn't have to do that, now did you?"
"Yes I did."
"Of course you did," Fawkes agreed, " we phoenixes take great pride in our intelligence, thank you very much."
"Centaur."
"I heard that."
"Anyway, the book says focus on things you can only do as a person. Like, uh…"
"Open doors!" Ron shouted.
"Use a wand!" cried Hermione.
"Unwrap lemon drops." Everyone looked over at the Headmaster with a strange expression on his or her face. "What? Fawkes has tried, and I must say it's impossible."
"Whatever. Anyway, just focus on stuff like that."
"Honestly, I don't see why you want to go back to being a human."
"I can do magic! And play Quidditch."
"So what? Phoenixes are magical and we can fly anyway. Except for maybe you."
"Yeah, well, this was my first time, remember?"
"Excuses, excuses."
"You know, you're really not helping in getting me back to being a human."
"Sorry."
"You should be!"
"Just focus on stupid human things already."
"I could if you would shut up."
"Fine then." The bird flew away from Harry, leaving him to rack his brain for human thoughts. He learned, however, that even with Sirius's coaching and the Animagus book he couldn't change back, and instead finally fell asleep on the perch.
That wasn't soooooo long of a wait, was it? Anyway, Padfoot's Sidekick-are you psychic or something? We knew exactly how this chapter was going to work out before that review! That's creepy! Anyway, we got 75 reviews! Woohooo! um, Emm's kind of sick right now and can't remember what else she was going to say, so she'll just shut up now, and quit talking in third person. Review!
