AN: You like me! You really like me! Or at least you like this fic. Thanks to everyone who reviewed. I know it sounds cheesy but it really makes me feel special. Several of you guessed that everyone got House but that is not the case. That was my original idea but thanks to my Star Wars geek friend Katie (HIYA!) I realized that it was too obvious. So thanks again to everyone who reiviewed. And now without futher ado:
Chapter 2: It's Random
Chase drummed his fingers on the steering wheel of his car. What to get the great Doctor Gregory House. The song on the radio ended and the DJ came on.
"Hey this is the Dan 'n Ann show. It's 5:15 on this rainy rainy day in New Jersey. Remember we're having the you-have-a-question-and-we-answer-it segment. If you have a question or a problem, call us up at 294-843-0238, that's 294-843-0238 from New Jersey. We'll be right back after this commercial break."
Hmmm... This got Chase thinking. Did what to get your boss for an incredibly random secret Santa count? Well it was sure a problem. Besides the DJ Ann and the intern Marisa both had a thing for guys with accents. Oh what the hell?
Chase pulled in front of his house and took out his cell phone and dialed the phone number. Thank god he had the phone number gift. After Marisa the intern put him on hold (while trying not to giggle at his accent) he took the opportunity to go inside and turn on the radio. The commercials were still on.
"Hey this is Dan on the Dan 'n Ann show. We've got a guy here with a problem."
Chase quickly put the phone to his ear.
"Hey you're on the Dan and Ann show. What's your name and where are calling from?" He could hear Ann on the radio and from his cell phone. It was kinda cool but weird.
"This is Rob and I'm calling from Princeton." He could here Marisa and Ann giggling in the background.
"Well surely you're not from New Jersey with that accent." Marisa giggled.
"No, I'm from Melbourne, Australia." He explained patiently. Why women liked accents he would never understand.
"So what's your problem? Hopefully it's not a girlfriend problem."
"No, my girlfriend and I are fine." That wasn't really a lie. He had been on date last Friday. Sure it had been a complete disaster and he had destroyed her phone number but still.
"Oh drat!"
"Well anyway, my boss has decided to call a- gift exchange- um sorta like a secret Santa-"
"In April?" Dan interrupted.
"Yeah, he's random like that. I picked him and I don't have the faintest idea what to get him. He's one of those guys whose read every book and seen every movie and speaks every language and has played every game."
"If he likes gaming then get him a PSP," Ann suggested. Apparently she had a nine-year-old son who loved his new PSP.
"I think he already has one."
"How about a ipod?"
"He's got that too. He also has these big speakers for it."
There was a temporary silence.
"Well Rob, I think we're going to have let the listeners take care of this pickle. If you want to help Aussie Rob call us at 294-843-0238, that's 294-843-0238. We'll be right back after Gwen Stefani, Hollarback Girl!" Dan said though the radio. As soon as the song came on the air, Marisa squealed though the phone, "So are you really with someone?"
Oh Damn.
"Yes, I'm really with someone." He reassured her, hoping the three-minute song would go really fast.
"Really? I heard that some guys with accents think that it's annoying that us American girls think their accents are hot, so they say they say they have girlfriends even though they don't. Or they say they're gay."
"Oh, I can't say I know any other Aussie-Americans but I defiantly have a girlfriend."
"But do you think it's annoying that American girls think your accent is hott?"
Yes!
"No, no, I'm actually kinda flattered." Chase said, trying to sound casual.
"Hey Marisa! Stop flirting with the caller!" Chase heard Dan say in background.
Thank God.
"Hey, this is the Dan 'n' Ann Show. We're here with Rob who needs to figure out what to get his random boss for a random gift exchange. Polley Anne from Trenton, can you help Rob here?" Ann introduced.
"Hello Rob!" Polley Anne screeched. Her voice was annoyingly high and perky.
"Hi Polley Anne." Chase replied rather lamely. Oh God, she's probably going to suggest I get him a birdhouse or something.
"I think you should give him a yoga ball! I know it sounds cheesy, but I've given like five of my girlfriends yoga balls and they all loved it! Now we all go to a group yoga session. It is seriously so so much fun."
Chase resisted the urge to laugh hysterically at the mental image of House going to a yoga class.
"Umm... well he's sorta-disabled, he has muscle death so errr... I don't know if he could." Chase tried to explain.
"Does he use a cane or crutch?" Dan asked. This was one topic Chase really wanted to get off. He didn't think of House as cripple. He never had. When Chase did his interview, House was sitting behind a desk. By the time he figured out he had a pronounced limp, Chase knew what House was like.
"He uses a cane."
"Can he climb a flight of stairs?" Polley Anne asked hopefully.
"Umm well, I've never really seen him try, but I heard about this one time when his ex-girlfriend's husband was chasing him, and to escape my boss climbed up like four stairs." Wow, I sound like I'm a fifteen-year-old girl. Whatever, they probably think I'm gay anyway.
"Wait, this guy chased a cripple- I mean handicapped person." Dan asked incredulously.
"Well actually the husband was in a wheel chair." Chase admitted. Almost immediately Dan, Anne, Marisa and even Polley Anne burst into hysterical laughter.
"I'm sorry- that just sounds so funny- a cripple fight!" Ann said between bouts hysterical laughter.
"Besides, even if he didn't have I limp, I have a feeling he would throw it at me."
"Ok! Sorry I couldn't help you, Robbie," Polley Anne squealed, "bye-bye!"
This would be tougher than even Chase imagined.
"Hello this is Samuel from Camden, New Jersey and I strongly suggest you give your boss a book I highly recommend. It is called Seven Habits of Highly Successful People. As the title suggests, it encourages self-improvement. I have defiantly found it has improved my life tremendously and I think anyone who really puts their mind to it can have their life radically altered too." Samuel reminded Chase a drama professor he once meet; articulate, dramatic, and annoying. He also sounded like he had a fake, stuck up British accent.
"His idea of self improvement is watching 'The L Word.'"
Chase had heard a slew of callers suggesting everything from magazine subscriptions to board games to clocks. He was starting to give up.
"Let's see if one more caller can help Rob before Ann and I leave tonight." Dan said, "Lena from Middlesex, you're on!"
"Why don't you just get him booze, everyone likes booze."
Chase was silent.
"Oh, don't tell me he doesn't drink." Marisa added exasperated.
"No, that's brilliant."
Up Next: Chapter Three: I know he's Australian...
There had to something all Australians liked, I mean all Americans liked... well... arguing!
