Hey! On with the story!
Disclaimer: I do not own JN.
If Only
Chapter 3
"You," he simply stated. He was shocked by his truthfulness. Her eyes widened."I ,uh, mean..." but she cut him off and her next words surprised him. He was sure she would be upset with him looking at her.
"It's okay. I do look good in this bikini," she smiled and paused for a moment, obviously thinking. "What do you think?" her voice reaching a whisper.
"About what?" he asked, even though he had heard her and knew what she was referring to, but didn't want to embarrass himself.
"Nothing..." her eyes leaving his sapphire ones and becoming interested in the sand they walked upon. She ached inside for him not responding because she was positive she spoke loud enough for him to hear her. But at the same time was afraid of his answer. 'What if he doesn't feel the same way? I don't think I could handle it if he said something mean ... and I can never let him see me cry, he would probably point and laugh. I don't feel like having my heart broke today.'
"You really want to know what I think..." he trailed off, waiting to see if she sincerely wanted to know. If she did, he would make himself tell her exactly what he thought, even if she used it against him. He just hoped that maybe she would appreciate it and take it a sign of his affection for her.
"Yes, I really would... Jimmy," she quietly responded. She hoped that just maybe using his first name he would take it as a sign that she didn't want to be tortured today and that she truly cared. He took a deep breath and stopped a few feet from Carl and the beach blanket, turning to face her. She stopped and faced him also. He gulped as he looked into her eyes and thought about how she would react to his answer. 'Well I lived a fulfilling life...' he opened his mouth but the words did not form. After a few moments of silence, he could see the disappointment in her eyes and it pierced his heart.
"I think you look, um, really-"he started but as usually was cut short by some sort of interruption.
"Hey guys! Do you know where the mayonnaise is?" Carl asked very politely, looking up at them, like he thought he was not disrupting anything. But that quickly changed when Jimmy glared at him and Cindy head dropped and she closed her eyes.
"Uh, never mind," Carl said and went back to his sandwich. Jimmy sighed when he glanced at Cindy.
"Hey, Carl, do you know where Sheen and Libby are?" he asked trying to ease the pain.
"They went for a walk. They will probably be back before dark." Carl plainly stated. "Are you going swimming?" he asked noticing they where in bathing suits.
"Oh, yeah, I almost forgot! Cindy and I will be at the pier if you need us. I have to prove that I can dive way better than her!" he responded and smiled when she lifted her head and smirked at him.
"Okay, we'll see you later, Carl." she said to Carl as she grabbed Jimmy by the wrist and began dragging him once again. "I got to go show Neutron here that girls are way more athletic than boys. Especially boys with big heads." she said over her shoulder and grinning evilly at Jimmy, who was blushing at her touch. When they got to the pier, she looked at him and saw that he was still blushing, yet raising his eyebrow skeptically at her. Then she realized she was still holding his wrist and quickly let go as it dropped to his side. Little did either know that inside both were enjoying the feel of each others skin, but neither would ever admit it.
"Sorry..." she responded, but after she said it she wasn't sure why she had. Maybe she was sorry that he may never know how she feels or maybe she was apologizing to herself. He couldn't possibly know how she felt and she was sorry for dropping so many hints and even with him being a genius, he still didn't understand her true motive for arguing and competing with him all these years. "Yeah, sorry for having to kick your butt...not!" she teased him and walked to the edge of the pier, then looked down at the water. She saw a reflection in the water and looked closely at it. She saw a young green eyed girl with blond hair cascading down her shoulders and a thin frame, to her left see saw another reflection, a young man. She gazed at the boy with brown hair and the most dazzling blue eyes she had ever had the pleasure to look into. The boy with the huge IQ and the gentle touch to match his compassionate nature, putting himself in danger to protect those he cared for the most. The boy that stole her heart with his kind and caring personality. The boy that no matter how much she tortured and teased, still wanted to be her friend. 'If only I could just tell him how much he means to me... if... that word itself stabs my heart, the word of so many possibilities...' tell him' saida voice deep inside her 'I can't' why not? ' what if he doesn't feel the same way' what if he does? 'how could he' how couldn't he? 'stop it! leave me alone!' when you tell him...' the voice soon faded into her subconscious 'ok,' she told herself.But during her argument with herself she did not feel his soft hand on her shoulder. When she did return, she could feel the tears threatening to come to the surface, but her pride forced them away. Still not noticing his hand on her shoulder, she sat down on the edge of the pier, her toes touching the top of the water.
"Cindy... are you alright?" he asked as he sat beside her. She could feel the concern in his voice and her breath caught in her throat. 'He...he...cares... no, he is just a good friend,' she took a deep breath and collected her thoughts.
"I guess, I was just thinking..." she turned to face him and stare into his deep blue eyes. His caring smile was all she needed. "So, Neutron, you ready to show me how good you really are?" and with that she stood up and placed her hands on her hips and flashed him a smile. His insides melted as he gazed up at her, the sunlight hitting her just right.
"You know, Cindy, I never told you what I thought..." he said without actually thinking, but he didn't regret saying it after seeing the happy gleamin her eyes.
"So, your thinking for once," she said with a grin plastered on her face. "I would love to know..." she paused, "what you think of me..." she stated placing her hands behind her back but not breaking her gaze on him. His heart stopped for a brief second before speaking.
Uh oh, I wonder what Jim will say? Till next time!
