Caged.

Trapped.

Words she didn't want to know about or deal with but she did seven years and she was still dealing with them. Funny how the bastard could just toss them around along with sleep with me the get well cure for being rapped. Liz sighed rubbing her forehead looking at the artwork on her desk she didn't even bother going to work today she wouldn't be able to think straight. She's dreamed of those words, only he would say them with love in his eyes. Yeah sleeping with him would be worse then getting rapped her emotions, her heart was at stake and for as long as she can remember she's protected that.

Jason didn't know why he couldn't think straight there where no battle tactics for sleeping with a women. The very thought of Liz running out screaming bloody murder made his blood curl. The look of fear was well hidden but if one was looking unlike him you could see it. He didn't want to make that look worse from fear to clear cut terror, which would turn not wanting to be touched to never leaving her home. There where also her emotions to consider and he didn't when he walked into her office that night. Help her and in turn helping himself get pass the last 12 years was his only goal. Now that he thought about it, she was in love with him. He looked at the phone should he cancel apologies for asking such a foolish and ridiculous thing? Or should he stick this out one thing Jason knew he had to do was make this about her not him.

Was it about her? Yes Jason knew how to make a women the center of it all how to talk to her, how to make her knees tremble. But Liz was different, she knew him to well, tonight the only words would be the raw truth in his eyes.

He was an ass.

She just knocked a couple of time but he wasn't answering the door. She turned around and walked right into him.

"Hi.-

"I should just leave.-

"Elizabeth I'm just as nervous about this as you.-

"Nervous that's a fucking understatement terrified is more like it.-

"Then I won't hold it against you if you leave. I would never do that.-

"I'm sure.-

"Come in lets talk about this.-

"Don't you think we've said enough to each other for a life time.-

She fallowed him into the condo and looked around. It was still decorated the way she'd done it when he bought the place. Courtney had tired on several occasions to change it but he wouldn't let her.

"Elizabeth I…-

"Stop there is reason I can't do this. I only just started to get over being rapped and not having to hide it from anyone. You have any idea what's that like, I was so scared, this fear didn't just come from being attacked it was from you finding out and looking at me in a way I couldn't stand. I thought if you touched me if anyone touched me they'd know, after while it became a phobia and paranoid reaction. I don't doubt that I'll get over it sooner or later, especially now that my life's changed.-

"How?-

"How what?-

"How did you think I'd look at you?-

"Why?-

"Just curious of what you think of me.-

"You know what I think of you.-

"Besides I hate you, you ruined my life part. I'm curious to know why you saw fit to put yourself through this?-

"Are you kidding? - She looked at him is shock.

"Don't give me you should know this stuff you hid things from me on purpose. You kept me in the dark.-

"I was protecting you. - She sighed. -Color me stupid for that.-

"You didn't make a mistake.-

"Oh yes I did.-

"Elizabeth for once don't yell at me or hate me just talk to me.-

"About what?-

"Me.-

"Self centered.-

"That's not what I meant. - He was getting frustrated. He himself didn't know how to talk to this woman whom he realized was big part of his life. A very big part.

"What did you mean then?-

"Why did you do this to yourself, how did you feel about me that you would do this? Just talk Elizabeth, not bits and peaces the whole story. From your point of view.-

Liz sat down biting her lip.

"I was lonely mostly, I never meat anyone like you. You were… are beautiful. - Jason smiled at her blush.

"I was this know it all do it all, left with a few words from my family work hard live good. I got the working hard part right. After a while you needed me to do more and I missed having someone need me. The lonelier I got, the more I made so you'd need me, I did things for you I wouldn't do for any body else. You where special, you where to first man after my father that I trusted. That's when I realized I was in love with you, when did it go down hill. When you asked me to dinner, you probably don't remember and you told me how much you trusted me, how I was irreplaceable and invaluable and all those wonderful word a lonely naive girl wanted to hear...-

She got up and looked out the massive window.

"Then you told me that my opinion meant everything to you and you said the words that gutted me. You loved Courtney and you wanted to marry her and you needed me to be okay with that. Small part of me hated you for it and I didn't want to leave I was to scared to be by myself so I just decide as long as you needed me what else could I want. I was too lonely to realize what I was giving up, to in love to see I was just an after thought to you.-

He was going to say something. She put her hand up.

"I've accepted that I put myself that position, what I never expect was the reaction I got when I grew up and realized that I was okay with being alone. I was surprise about how mad and desperate you where, then I realized a few things I knew but chose ignore. From my side of this whole thing Jason, I loved you and all I wanted was for you to see and know how much. So when he attacked me then my instinct wasn't what I told Skye – I told you that I wouldn't give either of you a reason to use me again. Then it was, I couldn't stand to see the pain in his eyes when he realizes what's happened. When he know what Zander did to me, he'll drink and he'll go crazy and I don't know if I could bring him back from that.-

Jason swallowed he could hear the trembling in her voice and the breath she took to push back her tears.

"I was so scared; it was an excuse not to face what happened to me. It was done to get to you that how I saw it. I wrapped myself in it and I dealt with the pain the fallowed because I needed some way to push away the nightmare and the bad dreams and the pain and the fear. Oh God I used you and something so pure like the love I felt to hide form something so horrible. You where and excuse not face anything, not the fact that I hadn't accomplished any thing in my life and that I was rapped.-

Jason swiped the tear from his eye.

"I'm so sorry. For everything I've done.-

"Elizabeth don't none of this was your fault. Loneliness can engulf us all, some so deep that they don't even to know how to ask for help. You've fought me and everyone else tooth and nail, you're the strongest person I know, and I guess that's why I was so angry when I thought you slept with him. Somehow you weren't the superwomen I made you out to be. You where right I should have shown you the same loyalty and respect you've shown me. I even got to the point where I hated you.-

She turned to face him.

"Do I mean anything to you? At all.-

What was he going to say?

"I've done nothing thing but think about you for that last year. - He said.

"Never came up did it? What you felt just what you did.-

"Actually it did. It must have been after Skye left, she'd call me the usual nasty things for attacking you and she was glad I was still hurting for all the hurt I inflicted on you. I started having these memories of us doing things, and conversations and time we spent together and all of it was those stupid little thumbnail photo on the web but you couldn't enlarge them to the size of the computer screen.-

Liz tilted her head and frown.

"What?-

"Too little, meant nothing.-

"Oh, I see.-

"I love you.-

Liz looked down. Must have been the way he said it.

"But you're not in love with me. Like a little sister, the best friend in the whole world.-

"Yeah it was like that before. But when I was at Pap's it was those thumb nail moments and the look on your face when I attacked you, the fact that you didn't fight back you let me rage and deal with my own bullshit. You knew me so well, you knew what would hurt me, how I'd get over it, how I'd face it. I knew you'd grow to hate me but forgive me in the end. I didn't count on it, I watch you change into a real person who was only looking for someone to help her feel less lonely. More then anything, I want to be that person.-

She looked at him. He gave her a soft smile and breathed getting up and walking over to the bar. Getting a glass of water, he drank, put the glass down.

"I know that if I have you I won't want to let you go. I know that if I touch I'll always want to touch. I knew that I'll never be able to trust another man to work hard to make that look go away. To make you smile every day to give you the happiness I know you should have. Elizabeth this hard for me because…-

Jason stopped what was going to say. Too little to late came to mind.

"Why'd you stop?-

"I shouldn't do this not after so long.-

"So what, where being honest, be honest.-

"Your angry. - He said listening to her voice.

"Angry? Boy you have no idea. But I want to hear what you have to say, because for the first time ever you're talking to me… not at me, your saying something Jason Morgan would never say or at least something I never heard before. I've never seen you like this and that you got jipped feeling is coming back.-

He nodded.

"Okay, I want you, in more ways then one. I want you with me; I want to put my time and energy into you and your happiness. I realized that, I am in love; I realized I was when you told me you where leaving and I acted like a fool. I was positive when I thought you slept with him, the rage I felt was jealous one. I was damn sure when you sent me your file and I realized I let you down. There was no doubt in my mind when I came back.-

tbc