Disclaimer; Square Enix/Soft owns everything in this story, that said they won't own everything in my life. (oh, yeah Bob and Alyssa are mine)

Fans; ummmmm… more new characters? What's wrong with you?

GaPA; nothing, I am perfect Bwa ha ha ha ha. (mumbles; except for some spelling/grammar mistakes.) Don't worry people the new characters are purely for the benefit of the story and it's comic features.


"What are all these chocobos doing here?"

Faye was mesmerized, "Did Sephiroth just sound scared?" she wondered. "Can he even feel fear? Wait why would he be afraid of chocobos?" she was so perplexed at his reaction to the animals she said nothing until Sephiroth repeated the question.

"Um, well…" she began. "Say something happens and Shinra loses it's electricity, cars and choppers; no good."

Sephiroth raised an eyebrow, "It's an electric company how could it possibly run out of what it makes?"

"You'd be surprised?" she responded in more of a question than an actual statement. "Anyways what happens when people who need the electricity don't have it for a large amount of time?" Sephiroth opened his mouth as if to speak but Faye answered her own question. "They turn against the company, fire, pitchforks, it's happened before. The people who work for the company need a way to escape, that's where the chocobos come in."

"Okay… Now why are we here?"

"I work here, I watch, train and feed the chocobos, they let me use the security cameras because-."

"Turn the volume up." Sephiroth demanded. "That monitor there." He pointed to the one that displayed two chocobos huddled together.

"O…kay." she responded and obeyed. Loud noises of "Wark warrrk" filled the room.

"Do you hear that?" Sephiroth asked.
"Hear what"
"They're talking, listen close"
"Um… Sephiroth chocobos… they don't talk." She said slowly as if trying to wake him from a far away place. Given his previous statement she deemed it worthy to talk to him in such a way. "All they say is combinations of 'Warrk Warrk Wark.'"

"You have no idea what you just said do you?" he smirked. "oh, so innocent." Sephiroth was truly and honestly convinced that the chocobos were talking. It would have made sense to Faye if she heard what he heard through the monitor.

"I'm sorry, he woke up," said one of the chocobos.

"He's got good ears, we should have expected it. You'll need to be quieter next time," the other coldly replied. "Did he see you?"

"I doubt it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure he didn't see me." The chocobos hesitated "Do you… Do you think he knows?"

"Not a chance."

Faye was beginning to grow embarrassed with the loud warking coming from her office. Sephiroth unsheathed Masamune, and turned around. "Where are they?" he demanded.

Faye cowered in fear, "Sephiroth?" she said in a frightened, uncertain tone.

"Where are they?"

"13th floor, the corridor farthest to the East." He ran out of the room, Masamune held in a horizontal position at chest length it was ready to pierce the first thing that gets in it's way. Sephiroth passed multiple employees, all of which would have to move out of the way or die trying. There was no massacre, apparently the employees were used to these type of drills. All except for a brand new one who was pulled aside by her superior just in time.

"Bob, you saved me!"

"It was nothing you'd better get used to it, Alyssa."

"Who was that?"

"Sephiroth."

"THE Sephiroth?"

Bob nodded "He's a bit… eccentric."

Sephiroth kicked the door open and the chocobos looked alert. There were various "Shh"s and "Shut up"s.

"Alright, spill it, I know you can talk!" Sephiroth yelled.

"The prophecy," muttered one.

"Shut up… I mean 'Wark'," another replied.

Sephiroth leapt into the air and held a chocobo by the neck, and threatened it with Masamune. "Talk!" the chocobo said nothing, Sephiroth chopped its head clean off. Blood splattered over his face, he dropped the limb body to the floor. He looked just as crazy as Faye imagined he was.

"How could you"s, "What's the matter with you"s, and "Henry!"s filled the room. All the chocobos gathered around Sephiroth in a menacing manner. The general held Masamune tighter and stared down the chocobos. One screamed out across the rest, "Spare him it was a misunderstanding, we'll train him to be loyal, the prophecy has to be true!" Darkness surrounded him.

He woke up to Faye's face "Good" she said, and then he felt a sharp pain on top of his head.

"Ow!" he yelped.

"'Ow'? I've never seen someone say 'ow' after they were given a potion."

"You're supposed to toss it not smash on my skull!"

Faye looked at him as though she was going to apologize, and then changed her mind. "Well serves you right, what makes you think you can pick on those poor little chocobos?"


Dedicated to Henry (moment of silence) May he rest in peace and find green rolling pastures without fences in the next life.
-- Amen


Author's note; Like it? Tee hee I know I do, more to come!

Mysteryhottie; hey how's this chapter for violence? Good luck on your story, I'll read and review ASAP.

atOmicsquid; thank you for reviewing I'm glad you like it. I guess it is a really weird story, but I've seen a millions times worse before. All for the sake of comedy I guess.

Feverishly-angelic; Run-on sentences? Ack, sorry about that, I thought they were fine, oh well. Hope you like this chapter too.

Ceci; yeah it's one of a kind. I tried hard to make other people like it, I'm extremely happy you all do! ; )