DISCLAIMER: HG CHARACTERS DO NOT BELONG TO ME, BUT OC ONES DO
A/N: Sorry for such a delay in updating
Chapter 167-District 5
"Cassie, is that you?"
Slowly raising her head, she looks straight into her older brother's blue eyes. She is unable to speak, too shocked at the sight of him. She hasn't seen him in eighteen years, now half of her life ironically.
"You haven't changed" she finally manages to say in an unfriendly tone. She sees he looks older but is still an attractive man with the same shade of dark blonde hair as hers.
"Neither have you, what are you doing here?"
"That's none of your business" she says harshly for the last person she wanted knowing she was back in 5 was him.
"Obviously you work here, what happened to your fancy modeling job in the Capitol?"
Suddenly the office manager comes up behind her and says, "Cassandra, once Lettie returns, please come into my office, I'll need your help composing some memos that have to go out later today."
"Yes ma'am" Cassandra says then turns to her brother and says, "I'll get you checked in sir."
The office manager paying no attention to them, turns around and quickly heads back into her office.
"I think the only other people who would be more shocked to see you back in 5 besides me is our folks" Emeric says to Cassandra who does not look at him as she types into the computer.
Knowing it was no use to ask Emeric to not tell their parents she was back in District 5, she gives him an icy look as she says, "You are checked in Mr. Rawlings, someone will be with you shortly."
Getting the message, she wanted him gone from the reception desk, he gives her a smirk as he takes a seat in the waiting area.
After she helps the office manager compose the memos she needed, she takes a break and walks across the street to the convenience store and buys a pack of cigarettes. As she smokes outside the Community Counseling Center, she thinks about how she had not had a cigarette since last December, right after that terrible night out with Kyle and his friends. Even after being captured and raped by him, she managed to resist the urge. She is not sure why seeing her brother has rattled her nerves to the point that if she does not have a cigarette in her mouth, she would not be able to function, but here she was, smoking as if her life depended on it.
After she finishes the first cigarette, she takes out another and smokes that one before heading back inside.
Gale heads towards Silver Lake Stables to pick Juniper up from her riding lesson with Esmeralda. When he arrives, he sees Juniper chatting with Charlie, both petting Cedar.
"Hey Dad, Esmeralda wants to talk to you" Juniper says happily to him.
Gale greets Charlie and gives Cedar a quick pet to say hello then turns to Juniper and says, "I hope not to tell me she is letting you go as her student."
"Ha-ha. I'm pretty sure she wants to talk to you about Cedar."
"Okay" Gale says in a confused tone then heads over to the stables, unsure why Esmeralda would want to talk to him about his daughter's horse.
The next day after arriving to work, Cassandra logs into the Community Counseling Center's database and searches Emeric's name, when his case file appears, she stares at the screen for what feels like an eternity before opening the file.
The following appears next on the screen:
Emeric Rawlings-Residence District 5-Occupation-Power Plant Operator
She then sees the screen change to a layout page for case notes, and she quickly begins reading the counselor's notes. Knowing she needs to skim through the file as quickly as possible, for it was a violation to go into a client's case file without permission, she sees an entry that catches her attention:
Client expressed frustration regarding lack of progress in his goals. Stated his wife has not returned to their home, still only sees his children on weekends, and talked in detail about his disappointment in not getting the plant manager position.
Cassandra snickers as she scrolls through to the next entry, not feeling even a smidge of guilt over the fact her brother is separated and was denied a promotion at work. She figured there was a reason he was coming here. Just as she was about to close out from the screen, the last entry she clicks on causes her eyes to go wide:
Client has not begun the process of making amends with his sister with whom he is estranged. Client has expressed in numerous past sessions feelings of guilt and remorse over the fact that he is estranged, but will not reach out to begin the process of repairing the relationship.
Cassandra slams on the computers keys as she closes out the screen. Angry at the fact that her brother's counselor seems to think their relationship can be repaired, she checks the time as she begins her actual work for the day, longing for a cigarette already.
July 17 (Saturday)
Cassandra's breathing becomes labored as she wraps her legs around Gale's back. She feels his head rest against hers as he moved in and out. It was his first visit to District 5, and their first reunion since leaving the Capitol. She had given him a quick tour of the two-room unit, followed by him treating her to lunch. After walking around the neighborhood, they returned to the apartment.
Feeling their bodies begin to shift off the bed for they were near the edge, she feels herself being lifted off the bed and up against the wall. Knowing that he was soon close to climaxing, she turns around and presses her body up against the wall, for she didn't want him to kiss her, didn't want to risk him tasting the cigarette smell on her breath. She managed to give him a quick kiss when he arrived, but she knew she wouldn't be able to avoid kissing him much longer unless she positioned herself away from him.
She feels his hand reach for her breast, and she turns her head away in the opposite direction when she feels his lips on her neck. Still feeling his lips, she catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror, and stares at her reflection as his lips leave her neck and his head faces down as he begins grunting in release. Lost in the moment of staring at herself, she sees not a thirty-five-year-old woman, but the fifteen-year-old engaging in sexual acts against her will. She becomes frozen as she tells herself not to freak out, but as she watches Gale reach up and grab her neck to pull her closer to him, she recoils in terror and quickly moves away, running into the bathroom and closing the door.
Knowing he was too stunned to comprehend what just happened, she stands by the sink and splashes water on her face a few times before she hears his frantic knock on the door.
"Can I come in?" he says softly.
"No" she says sternly.
"I wasn't hurting you, was I? I know you didn't come-you weren't into it-that's why I reached for you."
She ignores him and looks at herself in the mirror and repeats to herself, 'don't freak out, hold yourself together' but then hears him say, "do you want to try something else?"
Still unable to speak, she feels a single tear begin to run down her face. Continuing to hear nothing but silence, Gale says in a pleading tone, "baby please open the door-we don't have to have sex, I just want to be with you—" but before he can say another word the door swings open, and he sees her walk past him heading straight for her clothes that were scattered on the bed. He pulls on his boxers as he watches her gets dressed. When he sees her grab her purse and begin to put on her shoes he says, "are we going somewhere?" confused by the sudden turn of events.
"We are not going anywhere. I need to be alone" she says.
As she opens the door, Gale closes it forcefully. He stands in front blocking her exit from the apartment.
"Not until you tell me what is going on" he says softly.
"You didn't do anything wrong; it's this place…..being in 5."
She sees his face change when it dawns on him, "what we were doing-"
"Ryker and I used to…..make love the same way sometimes."
"He was raping you, that wasn't love" he says angrily.
"I know, but-"she whispers, unable to finish.
"What" Gale says in confusion.
"All of it was forced, but that doesn't mean I didn't enjoy it. I told you before I learned from my time with him that I liked sex, I had a…sexual awakening because of him and I hate myself when confronted with that truth."
He stares at her for a few seconds then steps away from the door and allows her to pass. Once he hears the door close behind him, he sits on the bed, her words replaying in his head. Knowing about Cassandra's history with her family and the young man in District 5, he now knows Cassandra's relationship with Ryker was more than just sex. He begins to theorize perhaps she developed feelings for her abuser, given the fact she just stated they used to 'make love'.
As he rises from the bed, he removes his boxers and heads into the bathroom to shower, hoping she is not gone long.
Cassandra aimlessly walks the streets of District 5. She walks by the justice center, by two power plants, and by former training facilities. When she finds herself outside the entrance of a salon, she quickly heads inside the minute she finishes her cigarette.
She is told she must wait for a chair to open since she walked in without an appointment. While sitting in the lobby, she tries to distract herself by reading a fashion magazine. An hour later, she heads for the bathroom and as she passes by one of the stations, she stealthily grabs a pair of scissors.
While in the bathroom, she stares at her reflection in the mirror. She begins crying as memories from the past begin resurfacing, and in a knee jerk reaction she takes the scissors and begins cutting her hair frantically.
Her snips uneven, she forces herself to stop when she sees she has cut her hair to her shoulder. Breathing heavily, she quickly removes all the hair from the sink and throws it in to the trash, leaving the scissors by the sink as she heads back to the lobby. The receptionist engrossed at the computer, she paid no attention to Cassandra and did not notice the change in her appearance.
When she is finally taken to a chair, the hair stylist looks at Cassandra in confusion and says, "This is an interesting haircut."
"Yeah, it happened…on a whim."
"So, I take it you want me to clean this up?"
"Yeah, and I'd like to add color too."
"You got it."
Two hours later she leaves the salon with an even haircut, her hair just above her shoulder, and her hair was now a very dark shade of brown. While her hair was not as dark as the Hawthorne's, it was much darker shade of brown than she had previously sported in the past.
When she arrives back at the apartment, she sees Gale preparing dinner in the kitchen. He stops chopping the vegetables once he sees her new haircut.
"You don't like it" she says self-consciously.
"Quite the opposite" he says in a tone she couldn't quite decipher.
As he resumes chopping, he says, "what made you decide to change your hair?"
"I don't know I just…..needed to do something different."
He quietly nods and says, "I decided to cook something, wasn't sure when you were coming back."
"I'm sure it will be delicious" she says in a cheerful tone, indicating she didn't want to talk about what happened earlier.
Gale nods his head, picking up on her silent cue.
October 16 (Saturday)
"I can't wait to see you; I've missed you so much" Cassandra says to Gale. They were on a virtual call, and she could see he was sitting at the kitchen island.
"I've missed you too" he replies smiling.
"Where's Juniper?"
"She went to the stables to watch Cedar train with Esmeralda."
"So, Esmeralda really thinks Cedar can be a racehorse?"
"Yes, she says he really has something special and that he was now at the perfect age to begin training."
"I still can't believe Juniper agreed to it."
"Well, I think that's why she's been watching him train, I told her if she ever saw something she didn't like to let me know and I'll tell Esmeralda the deal is off."
Cassandra laughs and says, "It's good that she's learning to use her voice at such a young age to advocate for herself, wish I could have been given that kind of opportunity."
He decides to use the moment to ask her a question that had been on his mind for a few weeks, "have you given any more thought to what I said about introducing me to your parents?"
"I did, but not next weekend, I have plans for us Saturday, I want to make your birthday celebration special."
Not surprised by her answer, for he figured she would say the weekend would be busy with whatever she had planned. His birthday next week, he would be celebrating on Friday with his family and would be spending Saturday and Sunday in District 5 with her, Juniper staying with Avery for the weekend.
"You know the last thing I would do is you is force you to do anything you don't want to do, its just that you said you ran into your parents in town last month and that you spoke with them for a while and they invited you over, I figured it might easier if I was there with you."
"I appreciate the offer, it's why I love you so much, but I'm not ready to go over there yet."
"I understand. I'm thinking….perhaps you should, talk to someone, maybe someone at the center?"
"Why?"
He tries to hide the emotion from his face as he says, "I just think, it be good for you."
She gives him a hardened stare as she says, "there's nothing wrong with me."
"I know, I didn't say there was, I just…I don't like seeing you so stressed. You've been different since you arrived in 5."
"That's because I hate it here."
"You are halfway there Cassandra."
He sees her demeanor change slightly as she realizes she only had three more months left in District 5, she then begins asking him about his work and how Avery, Jack, and Sienna were doing.
Ten minutes later, the virtual call ends. While he missed her terribly, as the weeks went by, he became more and more concerned about her wellbeing. He knows she has begun smoking again, and he didn't want to think about what would happen if she ran into Ryker.
The next three months couldn't go by fast enough.
