Thank you to LuvinEvian and Courtaney, for their devotion and help with this tale! It could not have been done without you both! --EF
"Eve, you just said that you loved me." Julian stared at her.
She pressed her cheek against his larger one. "Yes." He held her against him with his index finger, feeling his heart swell.
"My darling...are you sure you are aware of what you are saying? I know you are exhausted from looking after me." Eve kissed him on the cheek, and Julian closed his eyes, loving the sweetness of her lips on him.
"More than aware, Julian. I do love you so."
Julian sighed. After all he put her through, for her to say she loves him. It was a dream come true. Did she have any idea what this meant. His gaze held hers. "I can't tell you what hearing that means to me. Thank you."
"Thank you?"
"Yes."
Confusion darkened her eyes. "Are you still feeling weak? You're acting a little strange."
Julian nodded. "Yes, I am a bit weak." Weak with love for her. There was something he heard her say, something that haunted him...bothered him. "Eve, before when I heard you say you loved me, I think I heard something else. About you not being able to bear my children and being okay with not having this in your life. "You've never been with a man? You don't want children?"
Eve paused for a long moment. "The answer is no, and yes and no. I've never been with a man, and I do want want children, but if I can't have them with you, I'll be okay." She pressed her hand to his chest. "We don't have to talk about this anymore. You get your rest. We have plenty of time to talk later."
His eyes were troubled. "Eve--"
"Julian, I want you to lie back down. You were very sick, and it will take time for you to regain your strength." Eve was firm. "I'll bring you more water." She kissed him again on the cheek, evoking a groan. Julian then carefully lowered her to the ground, and watched her walk to the spring.
Eve was a maiden...Julian closed his eyes. He had stolen away a woman who had never known the joy of loving a man in every way. Yet she was willing to remain so, to be a comfort to him. How could he have been so blind? Or was it that he was so lonely, he would not let himself see the obvious?
And never to have children-how could he take that blessed opportunity from her? How could he say he loved her and do this to her? Julian's heart ached at the life Eve was willing to give up for him--all the more bittersweet because she had been taken against her will.
Eve came back with the water, but stopped short at the agonized look on Julian's face.
"Julian, what's the matter?"
"Eve, I'm sorry, so sorry," he breathed, his eyes glassy. "I had no right to spirit you away."
"Julian, that doesn't matter now. I'm happy with you. I'm glad you took me away. If you hadn't, I would have never gotten to experience this love I feel for you. In the beginning, I thought you taking me was the worst thing in the world, but it was the best thing that ever happened to me."
"How can you say that? I held you against your will, deprived you of your freedom." He hung his head.
"And rewarded me with love. I'm not unhappy, Julian." Eve handed him the water, and Julian absently drank.
"I do love you Eve, more than my own life." He took a deep breath. But how can I ask you to give up dreams of a husband and children? he agonized to himself.
Eve smiled. "That's all that matters. We love each other. We'll be happy, Julian. So happy."
Julian said nothing, but his heart cracked in his chest. Yes, so happy.
"Would you like some more water?" Eve held up her hand for the pitcher, and her tiny fingers brushed his as he handed it to her. Julian's heart melted at the look of love in her eyes as she took it from him.
"Thank you," he whispered. His heart ached as she returned to the spring. Eve was all he could ever want in a woman, but he could not be her husband, and that saddened him.
"Here you are," she smiled, coming back with the water. Julian gently lifted her, and held her against him.
"I do love you Eve...I love you so very much."
center/center
Eve yawned, stretching as she did so. She no longer slept in the cage. Julian, at her request, had moved her little bed next to his, so she could be be closer to him. She hoped they would go for a walk later, the weather had been beautiful lately.
Julian recovered from the snakebite, but he was somewhat withdrawn as of late. She would catch him smiling at her, and he was sweet most of the time, but then, he'd just change, and become aloof. She figured the venom from the snakebite was effecting him adversely. She sang to him often in an effort to improve his mood, but he would turn away, almost as if he were in pain. She wondered what troubled his spirit so.
"Julian, do you think we could go out for a walk today?" Eve smiled brightly at him.
"Certainly," he absently responded. "After breakfast, I assume."
"I was thinking maybe before, we could really work up a good appetite in the fresh air."
Julian frowned. "I think I would rather eat first. Besides, it is not you doing the walking."
Eve bristled. "You are right. I'm sorry. We can eat first." She got up from her bed, and went to the warm spring in the cave. Tears smarted her eyes at Julian's abrasive tone with her. Why was he behaving this way?
Julian could not look at Eve. He knew his words hurt. She acted indifferent, but he knew her too well. Why did he have to love her so? If he didn't, he could continue to live with her without guilt. But he did love her, and she loved him. She loved him. Enough to give up the chance of a husband and family to stay with him. The man who found her and kept her against her will.
Eve washed her face, her feelings still tender where Julian was concerned. What happened to make him act in such a manner? She knew he loved her desperately...what was the matter? She completed her toliette, and walked back to Julian.
"Done using up all my water? I can't imagine why you are even dirty. You never do anything."
The words stung Eve's heart. She tried to fight back tears, but it was too much for her. Her face became streaked with the evidence of her hurt.
He took pity on Eve. It broke his heart to hurt her so, but he knew he had no other choice. To love her was to hurt her forever. And that he could not do.
Julian could hear his heart shattering in his chest. I am so sorry, my love. This is what I must do. Steeling himself for his next hurtful display, "Are you ready for me to take you for your walk now," he barked.
Eve shrank back at the fierceness in his tone. "If you don't want to go for the walk, Julian, we don't have--"
"Go. Stay. Yes. No. What is it? What do you want? Things were so much clearer before you got here. Do you want to go for the walk or not?"
Her lip quivered. Tears filled her eyes. "I..." She shook her head. "No, I don't want to go for the walk," she said, racing to her little bed.
Julian choked back his sobs. Doing this to Eve killed him. He couldn't keep this up. To go to her and say how sorry he is was all he wanted, but that he couldn't do. That's not what Eve needed. She had to go now. He had to take her back. Back to her friends. Back to a nice man in the town, not that boor, Seth, who could love her and give her the life she deserved.
Huddled in her bed, Eve cried out her heartbreak. Julian came over. "Cease with the tears, Eve. We are going for the walk you spoke of all morning."
"I don't want to."
"You did before."
"Yes, and you were nice before. What's wrong? Did I do something to upset you?"
"You think you have that kind of power of me, little woman. You can't hurt me. You annoy me. I thought loneliness was bad, but having you around, always needing something, wanting something and changing your mind, it's just..." He reached down for her. "Let's go for the walk."
"Julian, I don't want to. I want to stay here."
"You cannot. Let's go!"
"You cannot." Reaching down for her, he tucked her in his pocket. What remained of his heart shattered at the feel of her warmth against him. One day she'll know this was for the best. "Let's go."
Eve struggled, but it was no use. Julian chose to exert his power over her, once again. This time, however, all the harder to bear because of her love for him.
Why was he acting this way? His loving persona disappearing like morning dew, replaced by the mountain monster that he was known as.
It was all Julian could do to keep himself from begging Eve's forgiveness. It killed him to hurt her so, but she deserved someone who would give her what he could not. When he found her lying on the hill, he did not think about what made her happy, and what she needed in life. He only saw an end to the unbearable loneliness that haunted him. Her beauty entranced him, her kind spirit enchanted him.
He didn't wonder if she had a love or a family, or even if she wanted one. All he cared about was ending his pain. His loneliness. Now, what she needed mattered more than anything. He couldn't keep her from having the things all women wanted. Not if he truly loved her. He couldn't think of what he needed. He had to think of his beautiful Eve.
Julian no longer considered a possible return to his former physical self, as the old witch said a good woman's acceptance of his condition could afford him. Eve was the best woman he knew, and it had not happened. At this point, he didn't care if it did. He wanted no one but his Eve, yet he could not have her. He would remain alone, left with only the memories of his great love and how happy she made him.
"Julian, I don't want to go." Eve felt a sense of foreboding wash over her. She looked up at Julian, his mouth closed in a grim line, but his eyes full of pain. She never saw him look this way, and she felt uneasy. In all of their time together, she never felt so wary of his intentions as she did now.
What drove him to do this? "Please, Julian, let's go back home."
" I told you no, Eve. Surely you are not hard of hearing, especially when it comes from me." Julian felt his chest tighten with the pain of his words to her. "You wanted to go for a walk, and I am accomodating you."
"Not like this," she whispered. "Not with you being cruel to me."
"I have done nothing but take care of you since you came to me, Eve. You have not seen cruelty at my hands, as of yet. But just push me, and you will," he said, eyes flashing sinisterly.
Eve slumped into his pocket. "I don't understand," she murmured. "What happened to you...to us?"
I cannot let you sacrifice your life for me, Eve. I want you to have everything life can offer you, my beautiful darling, Julian thought. Even if it means I have to lose you.
Upon reaching his destination, Julian reached into his pocket and lowered Eve to the ground. Her teary eyes met his. "Why did you stop?" She looked around. "Why did you bring me here?"
"It is where I found you."
"I know that."
"It is where you belong. I want my solitude. I used to think it was a bad thing, but it's not. Bad is having you underfoot. I've had enough. You stay here, I'm sure your friend with the red hair will find you." He motioned to a bouquet of dying flowers, tied with white bow. She could just make out the sun faded writing attached to a piece of parchment. 'I miss you, Eve. I hope you have peace.' It was Grace's handwriting.
"Julian, you're not leaving me, are you?"
He paused for a long moment. His eyes burned, but he could not cry. He had to be strong. "Yes," he answered, "I am. I've had enough sharing. I've had enough of all of this."
"Julian, you love me."
He would not deny that, but he could not succumb to his feelings. "I have made up my mind. You go on. Go back to your town, and your friends. Our time together is over."
Endless streams of tears trailed her cheeks. "Julian, no, don't do this. I want to be with you. I miss my friends, but I choose you."
"You have no choice. I don't want you with me, and you will never be able to find your way back to my cave. Go on!" He shooed her. "Be on your way."
Eve held fast to the hem of his trousers. Julian closed his eyes, feeling his resolve slipping. He shook her free from his leg. "Eve, stop! You go!"
"No!"
"Then, I will go."
"Julian! Please don't."
I'm sorry, my love. I'm sorry. "Good bye, Eve."
The sound of her desperate cries followed him as he left the hillside, his love, and his one chance at happiness. His back turned to her, Julian allowed his tears to flow.
" I love you, Eve. Be happy."
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