Dr. House Takes a Road Trip

Summary: Self-explanatory. Prequil to LOST crossover. Minor LOST crossover. Later in the story though.

Rating: G to PG to PG-13

Genre: Humor/Adventure/Romance.

Notes to Note: In this time line Foreman is not boss. Mild House/Cameron. Maybe not as long as I would have hoped. Hope you like!


Chapter I - Dr. House Rounds Them Up

"Look at them, they think I'm a patient." Dr. Greg House said grimly, limping beside Foreman.

"Then wear a white coat like us." Foreman muttered.

"Gah, I hate this damn cane." House said, practically hissing.

"Why am I here?" Foreman asked.

"Because it's always good to have a black guy when you're spying." House replied, rounding a corner.

"You're spying?"

"Did I say that?" House said, stopping.

"Well...yeah." Foreman said, standing beside him. "Where's your new cane?"

"Wilson."

"Why?"

"To deter my pursuers!" House said, limping to a door and looking through the wired window. Stacy, his ex, looked at the door. There was an immediate reaction. She groaned and looked down at the floor.

House chuckled. "Damn..." he muttered, smiling. "Wait here." He opened the door and went in. Everybody looked up suddenly, and there was an obvious sigh and mutter. Dr. Harper immediately jerked her head up.

"We're in a session, here, Dr. House." she said.

"Yeah, I noticed." he said. "What you didn't notice is I has a hurt hand, a bum leg, and a old cane. I'm pissed off about that."

"Not this again!" Mark burst out.

"Not again, Dr-"

"Gregg!" Stacy said from behind Mark. "What do you need?" Mark looked up at her like she was crazy.

"I need you." House dead panned. They stared. "Stacy, may I talk to you? Pwetty, pwetty. Pwetty, pwetty, pwetty-"

"Shut up!" Stacy interrupted. He did, smirking. She looked down at Mark. "I'll be right back." She walked towards House and added as she pasted, "This had better be good."

Foreman was nowhere to be seen.

"Why are you here?" she asked as soon as the door was shut.

"I want to jump you." he said, looking back through the door's window.

"You're sick."

"Thank you."

"Why?"

"You, me, Wilson, and Cameron are going on a road trip."

"What?" she asked, surprised. "Why?"

"Cuz." he said. "No Marks, boyfriends, or girlfriends." He grinned.


Wilson's office phone rang. Cameron and Wilson both looked at it.

"It's House." Wilson said, reaching over an putting it on speaker phone.

"Dr. James Wilson." he said.

"Muhahaha!" came House's eerie laugh. "I have her!" Wilson cocked an eyebrow. "Have you caught Allison.?" He pronounce Allison like "A-listen".

"Nope." Wilson said, leaning back in his chair. "Who'd you catch?"

"Yo Mamma." House said. They heard a grunt in the background.

"That's nice, what'd you do-pull her from the grave?" Wilson asked.

"I caught Stacy." House said, a ding in the background. "She's tied to my chair in my office ready to go spread eagle on the floor." His voice faded. "Wait the floor was too hard last time wasn't it? How 'bout-ow! You've been-OW! Stop working out! My God..." After a sigh, he continued, "Do you have an idea where Ally might be?"

"Check the lab." Wilson said, glancing up at Cameron.

"Right outside of it. Only a few dull interns."

"Your office?"

"Like I said, only Stacy's in there, ready to be fucked!" There was a quiet thud then silence.

"You okay?" Wilson asked.

The door swung open, Cameron jumped and Wilson immediately had the receiver on his ear. There stood House, looking down at Wilson's desk.

"She was here." he said. He turned to Stacy. "Wait outside." He limped in and shut the door.

"Who?"

"Don't be a dumbass." he replied, sitting down in a chair. "Cameron."

"Oh." Wilson said. "How do you know?"

"Her wonderful perfume." House replied. "Makes me wanna jump her-"

"You can't jump." Wilson pointed out.

House stared at him. "Niiiiice. . ." He glanced to his right. "Where's my cane?"

"I don't-" A cane landed in Wilson's lap. "I do have your cane."

"Gimme." Wilson tossed to him. House placed it between his legs.

"Why?" Wilson asked.

"An infarction. Only-"

"Not that. Why are we going?" he interrupted. "Why them?"

"It's an-"

"-experiment, yeah."

"No. Pervert."

"What?"

"I just like their pretty little faces."

Wilson said nothing.

"You coming or are you gonna scamper back to Julie?"

"No, she's in a bad mood."

"Well, then. Cameron, what do you say?" House asked, looking over at her. "YAY or nay?"

tbc