A/N: I don't own anyone but Alex but she'll tell you she owns Chris and Piers…..Capcom owns the rest….DAMN THEM!
Now we can get to the fun (or angst for Alex/Chris/Piers)
I want to thank everyone who has reviewed or added this story to their alerts. I cried on and off writing this chapter as I am going through a divorce and used my emotional angst to write this.
North Carolina…..
Chris was perched at the table with a cooling mug of coffee insulated with his large dry hands. The sterile smell and dry air of the hospital had finally left his senses alone. The familiar smells of home flooded his nose and mind, as though to help him remember.
"Hey," Alex took the seat opposite from him. "How'd you sleep?"
Chris absently itched the the area at the crown of his head where the hair had grown over the stark white scar. It flared up at random times to which he just dug his nails into the area until it subsided.
"Alright," he muttered.
"Claire's coming by today." Alex hoped the mention of his sister would perk him up but instead he kept his eyes down at the pool of black refreshment. He wasn't up to seeing anyone and didn't want to leave the apartment. Why couldn't anyone get that? He wanted to be left alone!
Chris felt his anger rising but fought to keep it in check thought it was growing more and more difficult to control. Two days after returning home he had dropped a plate shattering food and ceramics across the kitchen floor.
"Goddamn it!" His fists punched the cabinets closest to him.
"Chris it's okay," Alex gently assured him as she stooped down to clean up the mess.
"NO IT'S NOT ALRIGHT ALEX! I CAN'T DO ONE SINGLE FUCKING THING RIGHT!"
"Chris stop it please!" Alex placed the shards on the counter, finding her hands trembling hard. She took a couple of breaths, steadying herself in a futile attempt. "Please….Stop….."
Chris watched the liquid diamonds fall from her eyes. The guilt flooded his mind as the ramifications settled in.
"Damn it," he swore and furiously ran his hands over his face. "Lexi…..Lexi I'm sorry."
"Chris…." She felt his arms embrace her body, pressing her against his chest.
"I'm sorry," he kissed the top of her head. "God I'm so sorry Lexi…."
"Oh," he said after a moment or two.
"Chris," Alex sighed. "I know you're still upset and confused but you can't push us away."
"I just want to be alone," he got up and stormed off leaving Alex alone. She vowed to be patient with him as Dr. Teague had warned them the full extent of the injuries were not determined. The visible wounds had healed but it was the unseen ones that Alex feared.
Her appetite waned and slowly Alex shoved the plate aside. The eggs remained untouched and grew cold and hard from neglect.
"I'm not giving up," she reaffirmed before standing and heading for the bathroom.
Alex peered into the bedroom, noticing Chris was stretched out with his eyes closed. She wasn't for sure if he was asleep or just relaxing. Not wanting to risk disturbing him, Alex padded quietly into the room. She paused at the edge of the dresser, taking a minute to watch him. The Saint Michael medallion rounded his neck, never going off even when in the shower. It offered little relief to her then as she gathered jeans, shirt, bra and underwear. Should she call Claire and tell her it was a bad time to come over? It would only make the tenth time she had to do it. Piers had not been as successful either. The captain had closed him out as well.
"Finn!"
Alex dropped her clothes as Chris began to thrash.
"NO GODDAMMIT! NO!"
"Chris!" Alex grabbed his wrists as he battled against the unseen foe. "Chris wake up!"
"NO PIERS! DAMN IT LET ME GO!"
"Chris," Alex struggled against the stronger man, finding her body was losing the battle.
"CHRIS WAKE UP!"
Chris's eyes shot open at her raised voice. The room was filled with his heavy shallow panting. His body felt fatigued, as though he had just ran a triathlon or experienced basic training all over again. But why was he afraid? Why was he feeling so…..angry? It was consuming his very soul.
He looked around with wide eyes but paused when his nerves registered the pressure against him. Chris felt the small hands cuffing his wrists and trailed the slender arms all the way to Alex's face. They tumultuous rings of chocolate narrowed then widened as he struggled to form the woman's name on his lips.
"Chris," she released him and sat back on her heels. "Chris do you know where you are?"
He pressed the hell of his hand against his forehead, sensing the stinging pain gathering at the very spot.
"Go," he hissed through his teeth.
"No," Alex shook her head. "I am not leaving you alone Chris. You can't do this."
"Get….Out…." His patience was wearing. The tension under her skin amplified as Chris increased in anger.
"No," Alex firmly held her ground.
"I SAID GET THE FUCK OUT!" Chris shouted at the top of his lungs as he violently jerked his wrists free. The tendons in his neck shot out as his face turned bright red as the rage pushed to the surface. Alex frantically crawled back and fell off the edge of bed, landing on her back. The throbbing in her side went ignored as she scrambled to retrieve her clothes and race for the safety of bathroom. Chris heard the door slam followed by the clicking of the lock. The bang of wood against wood made him wince but he didn't make an attempt to get up and check on her either.
Instead, Chris decided to lie back down and shut his eyes, desiring nothing more than to block out the world around him.
Alex was slow in getting out of the shower. She wasn't sure what she could do. It had been like this ever since Chris got back. But the nightmares were getting worse and more vivid for him. The times he would talk to her he would just mumble a few words or rather incoherent statements. She debated calling Piers but hesitated for a moment. She would call Claire and have her come over, hopefully to knock sense into Chris. They were close as siblings could be which could help Chris even if he didn't want it.
She swiped a path across the foggy mirror, casting a hard stare into the woman looking back. She had not slept well nor eaten as well in the days that preceded this moment. The cobalt rings flickered in the light as she stared the other down. This is what she had become. Umbrella had delivered the first blow followed up with neo-Umbrella taunting her from across the world. No, they weren't going to win.
Alex dragged her hands across the ceramic surface, bumping the ring that rested to her left. Her fingers plucked the silver band that rested on the counter and studied it closely. A band of silver with a diamond perched atop. It wasn't a large stone but Alex had viewed such matters as selfish and arrogant. What mattered was it had come from him. It could've been a plastic toy ring from the vending machine but she would've worn it proudly. But Chris wanted her to have something precious and meaningful.
"I'm not giving up," her face hardened as she slipped it on her finger and proceeded to get dressed.
She emerged from the steamy embrace a few minutes later still debating about what to do next. Her eyes were pointed towards the carpet, failing to see the impressive wall of flesh blocking her way. Alex collided with Chris's chest, taking a step back to shake her head.
"Chris are you okay?"
Chris looked down and slowly nodded. His eyes wandered across the petite figure before him: Jeans that hugged her hips just right with a long sleeved shirt that showed off the swells of her breast and slender arms. Her hair was damp and wild, hanging around her shoulders and neck.
"Chris," Alex waved her hand up and down. "Chris do you need to sit down?"
"No," he shook his head.
Before she could ask another question, his arms shot out, pinning her against the wall.
"Chris- what the-" she was cut off by his mouth covering hers. Alex resisted at first but quickly melted in his arms, letting him lift a leg around his thigh, grinding his growing erection into her hips. He was still clad in just a pair of boxers and shirt which fueled the sexual urge within him. His hungry hands tore the zipper and button apart allowing him to slide a hand down the front of her boy shorts and jeans.
Alex cried out at the welcomed intrusion of his fingers and parted her legs as best she could.
"Damn jeans," Chris growled and snapped his hand out. The worn material surrendered with no resistance, allowing the determined hands to pull down and away. "Better…."
His mouth attacked her neck, nipping and licked the sides of the soft warm flesh. Alex moaned and slammed her hips against his hand, arching her back off the wall. Chris teased and massaged the swollen folds, sighing at the touch of the smooth heated surface. God he loved it when she did that. It was such a huge turn on for him! His cock twitched and leaked beads of pearl into the light grey shorts.
"Chris," Alex's voice strained as her eyes went wider at the set of thick digits that penetrated her. Her body slid down, fucking on the slick fingers. Her lover grinned and slipped his other hand up her shirt, forcing the dark bra to yield. The pert nipple was solid and erect against his calloused fingers.
"Do you know how hot you look right now? Look at you…."
Alex couldn't speak as her mind was hazy and body desperate to fulfill its needs. Chris grinned wickedly as he watched the contorted expressions of pleasure cross over her face. He leaned back in, running his tongue around the outer shell of her ear before whispering in a low dark seductive tone.
"I'm going to have you right here then fuck you on the bed and in the shower….."
Her acknowledgement came out as a whine as her orgasm drew closer.
"Getting close aren't you…." He slipped a third one in pushing her body to its limits. Alex smacked her head back on the wall as the extra pressure filled her. "So tight…."
Alex felt it, the convulsions raced through her lower body, pulsing around Chris's fingers and spilling onto his hand. He imagined his thick cock inside of her, the velvet heat constricting around him as he filled her with the hot thick ropes.
Chris slid his hand away, grabbing her boy shorts and forcing them down. Her hands were fixed on the elastic waistband of his boxers, pulling them down and freeing his aching cock. Chris wasted no time locking her legs around his waist and taking her in one hard thrust.
"God you're so fucking tight," he groaned in her shoulder. The sensations of wetness and heat was more than his body could handle. Chris staved off the growing urge to cum as he pounded his hips hard against hers, letting primal instinct guide him. The quiet sound of skin smacking skin filled the small hallway and bathroom followed with deep heavy grunts.
Alex dug her nails into his shoulders as the thick head continued ramming the sweet bundle inside. Her vision blurred with each strike, drawing her closer to climax. Chris could feel his balls begin to tighten as his own end was coming near. His body was winning out, refusing to be refrained for any longer.
With one final snap of his hips, Chris shuddered hard and felt the thick hot ropes be expelled into her body. Alex felt the heat invading her, amplifying the mind blowing orgasm that ravaged her. Her vision was white but gradually returned as the euphoria wore off. Her heart raced wildly as her breathing struggled to calm down. They stayed together against the wall, unable to move right away. Chris secured his hold around her waist keeping Alex flush with him. He felt the light strokes of her fingers through his damp locks as she basked in the afterglow. Thin trails of ivory raced down her thighs and onto his but neither one noticed or cared.
"Lexi," Chris's voice wavered as he hung his head. "I-I'm sorry….I didn't know…"
"Chris," she tilted his chin upward. "Don't apologize." She leaned down taking his red battered lips in a deep slow kiss. Chris eagerly reciprocated her gesture, having forgotten what it was like to feel those lips pressed so tenderly to his. God he didn't deserve her!
"Come on," he whispered and carefully pulled back. Alex started to remove the clammy shirt and bra but Chris stopped her, instead he peeled away the offensive garments followed by his white shirt. Linking her fingers in his, Chris led her towards the bed they shared.
An hour later Alex was fisting the sheets as Chris pounded her from behind. He had woken up from their first round in the hall and took one look at the curve of those hips and erect buds on her breasts and Chris was hungry. It hadn't taken much to arouse his lover: a few strokes between her legs and cupping of her breasts and she was his. He had been more aggressive this time, digging his nails into her hips to the point of pain for Alex. Chris was harder and faster; animalistic in his actions. There was no emotion or attachment as it was only empty cold feral need.
"You're still so fucking tight!"
Alex was scared to move and felt her second orgasm strike like lightning.
"Chris!" She screamed and felt her body tremble. Her head dropped between her shoulders as tears of pain and pleasure danced across her cheeks before dying in the fibers of cotton.
"Yes….." He flung his head back and spilled his seed deep inside. The tendons in his neck retreated back as his skin turned flush with post sexual bliss. Chris placed a few light kisses to her spine, feeling the anger retreating. It was as if he was projecting his anger and rage on her. Using Alex as his means to purge his emotions. But it wasn't right! She didn't do anything wrong!
Suddenly from out of nowhere it slammed him like a truck.
How can I protect her if I couldn't protect my men? Or protect her from myself?
Suddenly, Chris felt hollow inside, like he had died all over again as he did in Edonia. He couldn't save Finn and the others then how was he able to protect Alex? He couldn't…..
How can she love someone like me?
"Chris?" Alex was cradling his face in her hands drawing him close. "Chris are you okay?"
"Uh yeah," he blinked his eyes and faked a yawn. "Just tired." He forced a smile for added incentive. Alex cast a strange look before she stretched out under the sheet and beckoned Chris to join her. He slipped beneath the bedding, letting her curl up beside him. Her fingers absently raked along his hand as she stared at the window. The snow was falling again as the glints of white crossed the gap in the curtains.
"Chris," Alex rolled around facing him. "I know you're dealing with a lot but I'm not leaving you. I'm staying right here."
He could only nod in silence. Alex was so understanding and dedicated. It broke his heart even more. Alex didn't need to be tied down with him. Chris felt he wasn't the man Alex deserved to have. No, he was a broken weak shadow of his former self.
"I love you."
She squeezed his hands affectionately. Chris was touched at her declaration but it wasn't enough.
"I love you too."
Their lips met half way staying connected for a moment before breaking away. Alex nuzzled into his chest, breathing he rich aroma of sex and him. She would never tire of his scent. When he had been in Edonia she wore one of his shirts, refusing to wash it as it would destroy his precious essence.
Chris watched as she dozed off, waiting until the deep rhythmic breathing had surfaced before making his move. It was then he slipped from her loose hold and tip toed into the shower.
A few hours later Alex stirred while her eyes fluttered open. Her arm was stretched across the growing cold spot where Chris should've been.
"Chris?" Alex twisted around and sat upright. "Chris?" She called out and waited and waited.
"Chris?" She flung the sheet aside and grabbed the robe hanging off the back of the door. Alex tightened the belt as she made her way down the hall and to the living room. Chris wasn't in the living room and wasn't in the kitchen. Her stomach churned in uneasiness as she felt the bile rising in the back of her throat. Alex swallowed hard, forcing the burning fluid down to where it came from. Immediately she ran for her phone.
"Damn it where could he be?"
Piers was behind the wheel of the truck as Alex kept watch for Chris. Claire and Jill had taken off in the other direction in the hopes of intercepting the older Redfield.
"Did he say anything?" Piers glanced sideways towards the agitated woman.
"No," she shook her head and smeared the tear across her eye. Alex didn't want to exactly divulge the details about her sexual trysts. "I had fallen asleep and he was in the apartment when I dozed off then I wake up and he's gone."
"We'll find him," Piers reached out for her hand. "I won't let him do anything stupid."
"I know he's still blaming himself and he gets angry sometimes and he sleeps a lot."
"Damn it," Piers swore beneath his breath.
Watch for signs of depression or PTSD. With what you told me about Chris he has a high chance of developing one or the other.
Dr. Teague's warning sounded in his mind like fog rolling in with the tide.
"Why would he just leave? Chris never does this! He didn't even call Jill or Claire!"
Alex shrank in the seat, feeling the tears gathering in the corners of her eyes. Piers winced at her anguished expression, silently hoping they located Chris and fast. He continued to scan the other side of the street but so far no one resembling their man could be found. The B.S.A.A. had not seen the captain either which made both grow deeply worried.
They had searched every bar in their part of town with Jill and Claire scouring the opposite side of Asheville. Chris's picture had been flashed in front of every bartender and patron's face; in front of every pedestrian and by stander they met. Alex could feel her hope sinking like the sun as she and Piers returned to the truck. He slipped his phone out hoping the B.S.A.A. had a lead but nothing.
"Nothing," Alex was flat in her speech. She didn't have to ask Piers.
"I'm sorry Alex," he wished he had better news for her. She leaned her head on the freezing window as the burning tears stung her eyes and cheeks. Chris was gone. He had simply left; just like that. No explanation, no note, no fucking reason whatsoever.
"Damn her….." The sudden bang of fist against dash startled Piers in his seat. "THAT BITCH! It was because of her he's like this!"
She felt the scream of her hand against rigid surface but Alex was too angry to hurt.
Alex released a scream that rushed from the bottom of her lungs through her throat and out her mouth and into the confined space. It was her pain, her anger, her rage, her love, and her suffering. She felt her chest constrict with the shift in her psyche but Alex didn't care. Her abdomen throbbed with the sharp stabs of pain but Alex didn't care. What was the point in caring when the one person she loved more than anything had stopped caring about her?
"Alex," Piers caught her wrist before she could strike berated dashboard again. "No, no…."
Alex didn't fight and fell back into her seat. Numbness swept over, banishing the pain both physical and mental. Not feeling the pain was good. The lack of feeling was good. But the tears refused to let her be.
"He left me….." She felt reality slamming her like a two by four. Jesus it stung like a bitch. "He left me…."
"Alex look at me," Piers carefully brought her head around making her see him. The beautiful rings of topaz were distorted with the hideous scars of red that trailed the whites of her eyes. "We will find him."
"Yes," she nodded gradually. "We will find him."
Piers grew uneasy at the look that growing in her eyes.
"I am going with you Piers."
"Alex I don't know….."
" .GOING." She dug her fingers into his wrist driving her point home. "We are going together Piers. I will not let you do this alone. I can't stay here. Please just let me do this?"
The biting in his skin lightened up leaving a set of crescents imprinted in the light tan bit of skin.
"Alright," he was reluctant in letting her have her way but for as long as he had known Alex, she wasn't one to back down so easily.
"Thank you," her lips parted into a thin shaky smile. Alex wrapped herself around the unsuspecting marksman, shocking him with the sudden warmth of her body to his.
"We'll get him back Alex."
"Why did he leave me Piers? What did I do wrong?" The scared side of Alex reemerged. The frightened shaky voice muffled against his shoulder.
"You didn't do anything wrong. You did everything you could to help him."
"He was so angry with me. It scared me. It scared me so much. I didn't know what he was going to do."
She didn't tell Piers that she blamed herself for Chris's absence. Alex knew he was trying to help but she should've done more. She should've fought harder to get through him. She failed. She failed him. Piers couldn't convince her otherwise. Neither could Jill or Claire.
Claire and Jill were waiting when Piers returned Alex back home.
"Alex," Claire latched onto her friend. "We didn't find him."
"He's gone Claire," she sniffled. "Chris left."
"No," she abruptly stepped back refusing to hear the words drawing from the other's mouth.
"Now what?" Jill had clearly been crying. Her eyes were streaked with webs of red as her face was flush. A box of Kleenex was perched on the coffee table with a few waded up balls creating a strange circle around it.
"I'm going to look for him," Piers quietly announced.
"And I'm going." Alex added casting a look at the man.
"No way," Claire pursed her lips and tightly shook her head. "Alex I can't let you do this."
"Claire damn it I can't just sit here! I can't….."
Alex dropped in the recliner cradling her head in her hands. "I can't sit and do nothing."
"But you could get hurt."
"No she won't," Piers stood up feeling slightly offended by Claire's veiled mistrust. "I won't let anything happen to her."
"Piers I know you're a great agent but…." Jill stopped as Alex narrowed her eyes sending icy daggers in her direction.
"I can handle my own." Alex's voice rolled dangerously. "Did you forget?"
"No of course not Alex," Jill walked over embracing her friend. "It's just after everything and now with Chris gone, I don't want to lose anyone else."
"And you won't," she argued. "This isn't a B.S.A.A. mission. We'll avoid those areas. Look we'll stick to the safer parts of the world. I can get a hold of Josh and Sheva and they can keep me informed. Look we won't go off the grid."
"I don't like this Alex," Jill was displeased with Alex's choice but she couldn't be wavered any other way.
"Well you may not like it but I'm doing it."
The trio watched as the slender raven haired woman stormed down the hall and to the right. The sound of a duffel bag landing on the bed made a small thud as Alex began piling clothes, both hers and Chris's, into the army green bag.
Alex grabbed anything and everything, unsure of what she would encounter out there. For all they knew he could be holed up in some Thai bar with cross dressing prostitutes sloughing all over him.
I really shouldn't have thought that…..
She made a fist, pummeling her hand into the center of neatly folded material then took her aggression out with its sibling. God why did she do this to herself? Why did she torture herself? Alex dropped against the edge of the bed, hugging her knees tight to her chest. Her old friend in the form of tight pain slithered through her lungs as she gave in letting the sobs wrack her body. Alex felt the purge of everything that had bottled up since Chris had left them. She sensed a presence or really several presences surrounding her. Claire sunk down, being the first to offer comfort. Jill followed, wrapping her arms around the pair as best she could. Piers felt as if he was intruding on a family moment and left the women be.
"You're crazy you know that?" Jill huffed between sobs.
"I know," Alex sniffled. "But that's why you two love me."
Claire just cried harder as she didn't want Alex to leave. Alex slipped her arms around both of them as they sat there offering solace and comfort to each other.
Again thank you everyone...Every alert is like a hug to me :)
