Silkspun Dreams II
always cold
He never touched her with his automail hand. It was almost as if he was afraid to and he often went out of his way to avoid even brushing her with the cold fingers. Winry wasn't sure whether this was an insult or not. She was sure the reason for Ed's behavior had nothing to do with her or her work for him. Rather it was one of those demons in his head that haunted him. She had discovered that, regardless of what he said, they appeared in his waking world as well. So was it a demon filling his head with nonsense that made him avoid her skin with his fake hand?
She had first noticed it when she had asked Ed to pass her some tool placed near his right hand. He had hesitated for a moment before reaching across with his left hand to get it. At first Winry had thought herself stupid for reading so much into it. But as time went on, small things like that continued to happen again and again. In every insistence where there may be possible skin contact with her, he used his left hand. Thinking back, Winry realized it had been this way ever since he had gotten his automail, but she was only noticing now. Maybe it was habit. After all, when he was at her house he was usually without his automail arm. However Ed seemed to have no problem touching Al with his right hand. Den, Pinako and even complete strangers were offered the metal hand whether it was for a hand shake, a pat on the back or something as simple as passing the salt.
It bothered Winry and she didn't really understand why. She didn't understand why he refused to so much as brush by her with the automail arm either. That is, she didn't understand until that night.
It had been a terrible stormy night complete with lightning, thunder and a torrential downpour. Winry had always hated thunderstorms as a little kid and that fear hadn't died has she grew. When she was little she would usually crawl into bed with her parents and then with Pinako. However her comfort switched from her grandma to her childhood friend after both boys began to live with them after the death of their mother. Although now, at fifteen, she could only comfort herself since crawling into bed with anyone at this age was unacceptable. This usually resulted in her dragging a half asleep Den into her room so that she could cuddle close to him. But tonight was different. The storm was worse and now she had the rarity of knowing the one who truly gave her comfort was in the next room...alone. (For a reason Ed wouldn't tell her, Al had not come) And this was too good to pass up.
As a young kid it had meant nothing. It was cute to see the three all crammed onto one bed, sound asleep in the comfort of each other. Such was child innocence. But now the idea wasn't so innocent, which made Winry blush as she crept toward the room Ed was in. She had no bad thoughts (okay, maybe a few) but the whole concept was... suspicious.
I won't sleep, Winry told herself firmly. I just... want to be near him. Just for a little while, then I'll leave.
She nodded to no one before easing the door open slightly. Peering in, she was greeted by darkness. However she could hear and there were soft moans of pain coming from the room's single occupant. The sound of Ed's tossing and turning could also be clearly heard, even with the hard rain on the rood and the loud cracks of thunder. Instantly worried, Winry hurried into the room. She wasn't sure what she planned to do and she would never know because Ed suddenly sat bolt upright, letting out a strangled cry. His sudden awakening made Winry freeze in the center of the room. Although she couldn't see him well, his silhouette was enough. She watched as Ed abruptly fell back onto the bed and rolled onto his right side, flesh hand clutching his metal arm so tightly his knuckles were white. His face was twisted into extreme pain, but Winry couldn't see that.
Winry stared at him, face softening as she slowly came out of her surprise. Without a second thought she moved forward, dropping to her knees beside Edward's bed. She reached her hands out and placed them gently upon the ice cold metal of his right arm. Instantly he flinched and jerked away from her, sitting up quickly. Winry's eyes followed him as he rubbed his eyes.
"W-Winry...what are you doing in my room?" He muttered, clearly still half asleep.
Winry did not reply. Instead she reached for the small lamp on the night stand beside her, flipping it on. She couldn't help but blush at him, sitting up with the sheets bunched up around his waist and muscular chest bare. His blonde hair was down and a tangled mess, strands sticking out at odd angles. Winry had to fight the urge to fix it.
"Winry, what do you want?" Ed demanded grumpily, squinting at her through the light.
But again she said nothing. Instead she took his automail hand tightly with both of hers and brought it to her face. The metal numbed her warm hands. Ed flinched as she took it, but she did not allow him to pull away. She brushed her lips across the knuckles of this hand, feeling how cold it really was. It was like pure ice against her lips only perfectly smooth and sleek. Ed blushed terribly and blinked rapidly at her, suddenly very much awake. Any attempt to pull his arm away from her failed.
"W-Winry, don't. Stop that," He stammered.
Winry ignored him and ran her hands up his arm, reaching his shoulder and stopping there. Cold. It was all cold. The entire thing was ice. She stared into his face with an odd look and it made Ed squirm uncomfortably.
"You were in pain," Winry whispered, bowing her head suddenly. "You were clutching your arm in pain."
Ed looked startled by this information, eyes widening a bit and blush fading. Then he hurriedly looked away, narrowing his golden eyes at the carpet. Clearly he would offer no explanation. Winry stood and placed herself on the edge of the bed beside him, still firmly gripping his automail arm.
"Ed?"
"It's fine. Forget it," He mumbled when she moved.
"But--"
"I said forget it!"
Winry flinched as he yanked his hand away. She dropped her eyes to her lap, that certain question burning at the tip of her tongue. Ed seemed to sense it.
"Go back to your room, Winry. I'm not--"
"I'm scared of the storm!" Winry suddenly blurted out.
Ed blinked up at her. It took him a moment to understand and once he did he slowly shook his head.
"No."
"But I--"
"It was cute when we were five, but now its not acceptable."
Winry half glared, half pouted at him before sighing. "I'll leave... but only if... you let me hold your automail hand."
Ed turned to stare at her suspiciously. "Why?"
"Please?"
"No."
Winry looked startled by his blunt answer before glaring. "What's your problem! Why are you being such a jerk!"
"I'm tired!"
"That's not an excuse and you know it! Tell me what's wrong!"
Ed growled and crawled from the bed, taking the top blanket and a pillow with him.
"Where are you going?" Winry demanded angrily, standing up fast.
"You wanna sleep here? Sleep here. I'll be on the couch," Ed snapped nastily, throwing her a cruel glare over his shoulder.
Winry felt tears prick at the corners of her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. She couldn't understand why he was doing this, why he was acting this way.
"Why won't you touch me!" Winry suddenly cried loudly.
Ed's face changed so quickly it looked like two pictures had been switched. He choked and coughed on nothing, making some noise that was probably suppose to come out as a 'What?' or a 'Huh?' but instead sounded like he had choked again. Winry blushed furiously at her choice of words and suddenly grabbed the cold metal of his arm again, making him flinch.
"You never touch me with this hand," Winry rephrased quickly, voice suddenly a whisper. "Why?"
Ed made a face and looked away, eyes suddenly sad and distant. His long blonde bangs hid most of his face from her.
"Because," He replied softly. "It's my sin... always cold. And I'll be damned if I touch an angel with such a vile hand."
