The day before Beltane is a busy one for the priestesses. First, we have to clean the Temple (never, ever fun, especially since the soap we use to keep everything new-looking rubs my hands to bloody shreds). Then there's setting up the bonfires for the evening, preparing the priestess chosen to represent the Goddess as Maiden, the sacrifices of herbs, and on top of it all, more women than usual coming for worship and prayer. I can tell you first hand, it's sheer insanity. And I love it more than any time of the year.
Since I had seen Jerin in the market place a month before, I couldn't stop thinking about him. I got my wrist swatted more than once for missing a spot when I was cleaning dishes. Finally, Uyne had asked me what was wrong with me.
"I--don't know if I can say," I had sputtered, not sure what to do.
"It's about a man, I know just by looking at you, so just tell me, for Shakith's sake. This is getting crazier than a feast at Midwinter." She hauled a kettle into her arms and scrubbed.
I had been shocked that she could guess so easily what was troubling me. I hadn't realized that we were close enough to be able to do that. But I suppose we were.
After much prodding, I relented.
"This boy I've known since I was little, I haven't seen him for years and then I saw him at the market and I've been in love with him since I was five--"
Uyne had interrupted, in a disgusted voice, "Is that all?"
"What d'you mean, is that all? This is a huge problem!"
She had rolled her eyes and glared at me. "It is not. Just tell him you love him, it's that simple!"
"But when? He's a sorcerer in training and I won't get free time till the mountains fall, what will Beltane coming up--"
"That's perfect! He's got to be going to the bonfires on Beltane Eve, everyone does; tell him then! And then, if he doesn't like you back, you can just find someone else to keep you company, and if he does..." She smirked in a knowing way.
I had picked up the pot I was scrubbing menacingly and said, "Oh, don't you start with me, Miss-I've-had-two-lovers-hahaha!"
"Well, I'm doing better than you, at least! Honestly, Kaela, if you don't hurry up you'll be chosen to represent the Goddess on Beltane next year and get stuck with some ugly priest of Mithros!"
"I will not. The Head-Priestess wouldn't do that to me."
"You'll get stuck with old Master Hammas!" she taunted.
"Ooh, stop, you're making me sick!" I pretented to vomit into the pot in front of me.
"Kaela loves Master Haaaa--muuuus, Kaela loves Master Haaaa--muuus!" Uyne chanted over and over, until I tackled her and "accidently" hit her over the head with a rather large and heavy pot. We continued to attack each other until the Kitchen Mistress pulled us apart and gave us extra chores till Midsummer. I don't think either of us minded, even though I had a bit of a bloody nose and Uyne sported a black eye for the next few weeks. But while we were peeling potatoes anytime for the next month, one of us could start humming the taunting melody and the other would grin.
~~~~~~~~~~
The day before Beltane, I was working-- working on the cleaning, working on the bonfires, and working up the courage to tell Jerin how I felt, with Uyne coaching me in what to say. We had figured every part of the plan out.
"Repeat it to me," Uyne said.
I sighed at her seriousness. "I'll find him before the bonfires are lit, and I'll ask if I can speak to him in private--"
"May! May you speak to him in private!"
I grimaced into the mirror I was standing in front of as I tried different hair styles. "You're ruthless."
I saw her reflection grin behind me, and suddenly I was struck with another day-vision like the one I'd had in the river, with the DreamOlorun's death, except this time, it was Uyne crying. And I saw another woman covered in blood, Jerin knealing at her side, and her begging him for-- something-- and I caught a glance of beautiful, earth-shade brown eyes, pain- and fear-clouded, near death--
"You bet I'm ruthless, Kaela! Especially if it has the chance of you loosing your virginity in it, because that is something you're in dire need of!"
I realized that my vision had lasted only a second, and turned back to her. "Didn't you see it?"
"What? That you're scared of telling this boy that-- Kaela, what's wrong? He's only a boy, you know--"
"No. In the mirror."
"I see you and me, that's all." She looked at me carefully, as though she thought I were either dead or crazy. "Are you sure you're all right?"
I shook my head, trying to remember something, anything, from the day-vision, to prove that it was real.
"Yes," I said, smiling at Uyne. "I'm perfectly fine."
I was anything but.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That afternoon, the priestess who was supposed to be on guard duty for Beltane fell sick. On holy days, almost all the priestesses are free to do as they wish, since everyone is too busy celebrating to be bothered with mere things like solemn duties. The only ones who have to work on holy days are the ones with some sort of duties to perform-- dining with the Twelve Kings at the palace to show respect, carry out the rites, or the one or two priestesses on guard duty.
My luck I was the sole replacement picked.
So, all my friends left to have fun, Uyne promising to bring me something back. I told Uyne rather crabbily that if it wasn't Jerin I didn't want it and she shouldn't bother otherwise. Honestly, the nerve of the Head Guard! Just as I worked up enough courage to tell Jerin I loved him, she had to go and ruin my plans!
I was born under a bad star, I thought miserably as I stood by the gate alone, getting wet from the rain that seemed to fall only on me. It certainly didn't disturb those celebrating half a mile away. Either an unlucky star or the Thief God particularly enjoys tormenting me--
I was knocked from my thoughts by footsteps a little ways off. I brought up my spear at the tall, cloaked figure who approached. "Be thou daughter or son of the Mother above?" I asked in obedience of the laws of the Temple.
"I am female, if that is what you ask, child," the person replied. If it was a she, I though, she's got the deepest voice I've ever heard on a woman. I almost smirked as I thought, Maybe she's half and half. And even as I mocked her, she scared me. Her voice, deep as it was, was the most amazing thing I'd ever heard. It sounded of the woods and baying hounds and storm and a mother's love and a thousand other things I could never name. "I'm a tired traveller seeking shelter from the rain. I have been told that women are always welcome at the Temple of the Goddess...?" Her voice trailed off, suggesting that she thought I wouldn't fufill that duty. I bristled at the implied insult, and said, "Of course, mistress, women are *always* welcome to the Goddess's hospitality. And, if I may say so, this is the greatest of her temples north of the Inland Sea. Follow me, please."
I lead her through the temple proper, and winced as I heard her muddy feet squeak across the floor I'd spent two hours scrubbing that morning. I led her into the kitchen, so she could dry off by the fire.
She pulled a chair in front of the fireplace with a sigh of relief. "Thank you, my daughter. This is the only shelter I've had for the longest time."
Curious, but still trying to show her that I was a member of a very courteous and generous group, I offered, "Mistress, if you're hungry, I could get you something to eat--" I stopped in amazement as she lowered her head. Her hair was long and black, curling around her shoulders like snakes. Pair that with ruby lips, pale skin, and green eyes that seem to look straight into your head and you have a heart-stopping beauty.
"No, Kaela. All that I am looking for I have found right here." She left her chair, her robes suddenly and remarkably dry. I was too shocked to speak.
"How in the name of the Goddess do you know my name?" I asked, wracking my brain to see if I had met her before. I hadn't, I was sure of it. I would have remembered that voice, surely.
"Is it so startling, my daughter? That I should visit one of my priestesses for a time?"
"Oh, dear Mithros, Mynoss, and Shakith..." I murmered. Oh, this wasn't just blasphemy, this was beyond blasphemy. This was--there wasn't even a word for it. A woman claiming to be the Great Mother! You worship the same gods as I did. You know what the punishment for those who claim such is. You know what you would do if someone came to you claiming to be a god. You wouldn't believe them.
I knew I shouldn't believe her, too. I knew that it was wrong and sin and went against everything I was ever taught. I knew that logically, there was no way she could be the Goddess. And yet, I swear by my soul, the only thing I have left, that I believed her. Somehow, she alone knows how, I knew ion my hear that she was the Great Mother, and she had come to me, and that it wasn't coincidence that I was the only one in the temple that night.
Immediately I fell to my knees, bowing my head to the ground. "Oh, Great Mother, please, forgive me, I--I don't know why I didn't believe you--"
"Quiet, Kaela," she said sternly. I heard her robe rustle like it was made of the howling wind itself (it probably was) and felt what seemed a hand of fiery ice on my cheek, lifting my head up to look into those brilliant green eyes. "I did not come to you tonight be praised and begged forgiveness of. I came because I need your help."
Now *that* was too much. I could swallow her being a goddess, I could believe that she wanted to speak to me, but that *she,* an immortal goddess, great lady over all the universe, would need my help, was just insane.
"I know you don't believe me," she said, taking my wrist and leading me to the table by the fire, "but let me explain, and then answer.
"You know the stories of the gods, do you not? How we keep our sister Uusoae, Chaos herself, imprisoned so that she doesn't destroy the universe?" I nodded. She went on: "Then you know that we can never kill her, our kin, the one rule that Mother Flame and Father Universe set down on us. And you know that it takes much of our strength to contain her, because she is strong. She is strong because mortals are half chaos-stuff themselves by nature, and she feeds off your stupidity." I raised my eyebrows at that. You would think a goddess would have more tact.
"My most sincere apologies for being blunt," she said, though her tone told me that she didn't mean a syllable of it. "As I was saying, she feeds off your stupidity. It's really not your fault, you know, it's more ours for creating you the way we did. But the point is, you humans have been a bit more stupid than usual lately. And she has broken loose. Oh, not entirely," she added at my horrified expression, "but enough that she could destroy the universe if she got her hands on the right pawns."
"Pawns?" I asked, confused.
"Uusoae works through mortals. Her chosen follow her, and do her work in the mortal realms, since she can't. Right now she's not strong enough to break the barrier that our parents put on her. But she will be soon. And now, her armies are massing in your realm. The Three Sorrows, her minions, have broken loose. They run rampant in this world, as I'm sure you know. And the Immortals, as you call them, that we gods put in this world to keep you mortals in check have done nothing but aid her. It was a mistake, but one that we can't change now.
"Your people are proud and too powerful for your own good, with all that talk about being gods, claiming to be more powerful than we. If you were to push the line an inch farther, we would destroy you. But now that power could prove helpful to us."
I looked at her, yet again startled. But I supposed that was how she wanted me to be-- always confused and shocked. "How?" I asked.
She sighed. "Your people have the power to conquer Chaos, something that we gods can't do."
"Why not?"
"Mother Flame and Father Universe forbid us to directly use the mortal realms as a battle ground. Like Chaos has to work through mortals, so do we."
"But--how are we to fight a goddess?"
She looked at me steadily. "United under the right leader, you could defeat her."
"Does such a person exist?" I asked skeptically.
"Yes," she answered, and with her next words, my life changed for eternity. "She is sitting across from me."
It took a minute for her words to sink in. Then, I stood up and turned away. No, never, never, would I be the one to fight a goddess. I would have to kill. Never, in all eternity, did I want to kill anything. In my rage, a quiet "no" was all I could force past my lips.
"Yes, Kaela," she stood and moved behind me. "You can save humankind, you can defeat Uusoae, you can--"
"I don't care what I can do!" I screamed, turning to face her. "I don't care about saving humankind and the gods and whatever! Mithros, I already gave up my life once! Will you make me die all over again?" Tears of rage stung my eyes, not the sweet, cleansing tears of sadness, but the stinging, salty tears of anger. "I can't kill! I can't! It will kill *me,* and that will make two dead when there could have been none! Why are you tormenting me?"
Her emerald eyes bored into mine. "Because destiny is the one thing you can't escape, my daughter. And her hand is the trickiest of all."
I shook my head, refusing to believe it.
"Child, you can't fight what you are made to be. It was set before at the begining of time that this would be your fate. There is no worth in fighting the ebb and flow of the ocean. It is useless against a force so strong. You would never consider trying. Why do you try to change what you are?"
"I'm not! I'm not a killer! I could never be. Uyne--" I choked. "Uyne is more suited to this than I. She doesn't care about killing, she wanted to be a Knyht. Or Olorun, she'll be a Knyht soon, she could do this better than I ever could--"
"No, they couldn't." She grabbed my shoulders and held on with a grip like iron. "They will grow to be great heroes who will never be forgotten, but you are destined for this. You cannot fight it." She touched the amethyst around my neck. "Did the man who sold you this not say that my hand was on you? He saw it. Your parents sent you to my temple for a reason, and they saw it. Why in the name of all my kin can't you?"
"I don't want this! I don't! I want to marry a merchant and have twelve children and live to be a hundred and five! I don't want to risk my life fighting a for a lost cause!"
"That," she said sharply, "is not for you to decide. If it were, you wouldn't be here now. You'd be married and happy and not having nightmares I had my brother send you every night to prepare you for what's to come!"
I looked at her, into her quietly angry eyes, and I broke down crying. "I've always been a good person," I croaked out between sobs. "I've always been generous to everyone, and I've never begrudged anyone their good fortune, and I've never been selfish. I just wanted to do what made me happy. And I've given up almost all hope of that now. I still think that maybe, maybe someday, I could leave the temple and marry and do what I want. But if I do what you ask of me, then I'll become everything that I hate in others. I'll become a cold-blooded killer. And I would rather kill myself than take another's life. Why do you ask of me what I can never become?"
"Because it is what you are meant to be. Look," she said, and I realized that she held a sword in one hand, and my amethyst--when had she taken that?--in the other. She laid the jewel over the pommel, now without a design, and closed her eyes. I blinked, and when I looked again, the jewel and the sword were one. The Goddess looked back at me. "You are one with this sword now. With it you will take many lives, but in doing so, you will save many more. Keep it close always. I will come to you again soon. Until then--" she touched my cheek-- "have courage, and learn that destiny cannot be fooled. Will of my kin be with you, daughter." And with that, she vanished, leaving me with a sword, tears, and a desperate hatred for the world and everything in it.
Author's Note: Wow. There's the next chapter. A little Valentine's Day treat for all y'all. Sorry it took so long. You see, I have this little problem called PROCRASTINATION. Please pardon the crude jokes, the PAGE rip-off, and the choppiness of this chapter. It's a little shorter than the last one. But a WHOLE lot more important. And, oh, yeah, if any of you happen to be fans of the Rainbow Brite cartoon series, I've got a story going there too. Yeah. I'm gonna go now, cuz I, unlike every other school in the state, have SCHOOL tomorrow. How bad does that suck? I mean, West and City get off for President's day, Valentine's Day, Martin Luther King Jr. Day, and end of tri and conferences, but does Regina? Noooo, cuz we're a CATHOLIC school. The same reason we can't wear shirts with logos or jeans.
Sorry about that. Completely ignore the rant.
-Brad
Since I had seen Jerin in the market place a month before, I couldn't stop thinking about him. I got my wrist swatted more than once for missing a spot when I was cleaning dishes. Finally, Uyne had asked me what was wrong with me.
"I--don't know if I can say," I had sputtered, not sure what to do.
"It's about a man, I know just by looking at you, so just tell me, for Shakith's sake. This is getting crazier than a feast at Midwinter." She hauled a kettle into her arms and scrubbed.
I had been shocked that she could guess so easily what was troubling me. I hadn't realized that we were close enough to be able to do that. But I suppose we were.
After much prodding, I relented.
"This boy I've known since I was little, I haven't seen him for years and then I saw him at the market and I've been in love with him since I was five--"
Uyne had interrupted, in a disgusted voice, "Is that all?"
"What d'you mean, is that all? This is a huge problem!"
She had rolled her eyes and glared at me. "It is not. Just tell him you love him, it's that simple!"
"But when? He's a sorcerer in training and I won't get free time till the mountains fall, what will Beltane coming up--"
"That's perfect! He's got to be going to the bonfires on Beltane Eve, everyone does; tell him then! And then, if he doesn't like you back, you can just find someone else to keep you company, and if he does..." She smirked in a knowing way.
I had picked up the pot I was scrubbing menacingly and said, "Oh, don't you start with me, Miss-I've-had-two-lovers-hahaha!"
"Well, I'm doing better than you, at least! Honestly, Kaela, if you don't hurry up you'll be chosen to represent the Goddess on Beltane next year and get stuck with some ugly priest of Mithros!"
"I will not. The Head-Priestess wouldn't do that to me."
"You'll get stuck with old Master Hammas!" she taunted.
"Ooh, stop, you're making me sick!" I pretented to vomit into the pot in front of me.
"Kaela loves Master Haaaa--muuuus, Kaela loves Master Haaaa--muuus!" Uyne chanted over and over, until I tackled her and "accidently" hit her over the head with a rather large and heavy pot. We continued to attack each other until the Kitchen Mistress pulled us apart and gave us extra chores till Midsummer. I don't think either of us minded, even though I had a bit of a bloody nose and Uyne sported a black eye for the next few weeks. But while we were peeling potatoes anytime for the next month, one of us could start humming the taunting melody and the other would grin.
~~~~~~~~~~
The day before Beltane, I was working-- working on the cleaning, working on the bonfires, and working up the courage to tell Jerin how I felt, with Uyne coaching me in what to say. We had figured every part of the plan out.
"Repeat it to me," Uyne said.
I sighed at her seriousness. "I'll find him before the bonfires are lit, and I'll ask if I can speak to him in private--"
"May! May you speak to him in private!"
I grimaced into the mirror I was standing in front of as I tried different hair styles. "You're ruthless."
I saw her reflection grin behind me, and suddenly I was struck with another day-vision like the one I'd had in the river, with the DreamOlorun's death, except this time, it was Uyne crying. And I saw another woman covered in blood, Jerin knealing at her side, and her begging him for-- something-- and I caught a glance of beautiful, earth-shade brown eyes, pain- and fear-clouded, near death--
"You bet I'm ruthless, Kaela! Especially if it has the chance of you loosing your virginity in it, because that is something you're in dire need of!"
I realized that my vision had lasted only a second, and turned back to her. "Didn't you see it?"
"What? That you're scared of telling this boy that-- Kaela, what's wrong? He's only a boy, you know--"
"No. In the mirror."
"I see you and me, that's all." She looked at me carefully, as though she thought I were either dead or crazy. "Are you sure you're all right?"
I shook my head, trying to remember something, anything, from the day-vision, to prove that it was real.
"Yes," I said, smiling at Uyne. "I'm perfectly fine."
I was anything but.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That afternoon, the priestess who was supposed to be on guard duty for Beltane fell sick. On holy days, almost all the priestesses are free to do as they wish, since everyone is too busy celebrating to be bothered with mere things like solemn duties. The only ones who have to work on holy days are the ones with some sort of duties to perform-- dining with the Twelve Kings at the palace to show respect, carry out the rites, or the one or two priestesses on guard duty.
My luck I was the sole replacement picked.
So, all my friends left to have fun, Uyne promising to bring me something back. I told Uyne rather crabbily that if it wasn't Jerin I didn't want it and she shouldn't bother otherwise. Honestly, the nerve of the Head Guard! Just as I worked up enough courage to tell Jerin I loved him, she had to go and ruin my plans!
I was born under a bad star, I thought miserably as I stood by the gate alone, getting wet from the rain that seemed to fall only on me. It certainly didn't disturb those celebrating half a mile away. Either an unlucky star or the Thief God particularly enjoys tormenting me--
I was knocked from my thoughts by footsteps a little ways off. I brought up my spear at the tall, cloaked figure who approached. "Be thou daughter or son of the Mother above?" I asked in obedience of the laws of the Temple.
"I am female, if that is what you ask, child," the person replied. If it was a she, I though, she's got the deepest voice I've ever heard on a woman. I almost smirked as I thought, Maybe she's half and half. And even as I mocked her, she scared me. Her voice, deep as it was, was the most amazing thing I'd ever heard. It sounded of the woods and baying hounds and storm and a mother's love and a thousand other things I could never name. "I'm a tired traveller seeking shelter from the rain. I have been told that women are always welcome at the Temple of the Goddess...?" Her voice trailed off, suggesting that she thought I wouldn't fufill that duty. I bristled at the implied insult, and said, "Of course, mistress, women are *always* welcome to the Goddess's hospitality. And, if I may say so, this is the greatest of her temples north of the Inland Sea. Follow me, please."
I lead her through the temple proper, and winced as I heard her muddy feet squeak across the floor I'd spent two hours scrubbing that morning. I led her into the kitchen, so she could dry off by the fire.
She pulled a chair in front of the fireplace with a sigh of relief. "Thank you, my daughter. This is the only shelter I've had for the longest time."
Curious, but still trying to show her that I was a member of a very courteous and generous group, I offered, "Mistress, if you're hungry, I could get you something to eat--" I stopped in amazement as she lowered her head. Her hair was long and black, curling around her shoulders like snakes. Pair that with ruby lips, pale skin, and green eyes that seem to look straight into your head and you have a heart-stopping beauty.
"No, Kaela. All that I am looking for I have found right here." She left her chair, her robes suddenly and remarkably dry. I was too shocked to speak.
"How in the name of the Goddess do you know my name?" I asked, wracking my brain to see if I had met her before. I hadn't, I was sure of it. I would have remembered that voice, surely.
"Is it so startling, my daughter? That I should visit one of my priestesses for a time?"
"Oh, dear Mithros, Mynoss, and Shakith..." I murmered. Oh, this wasn't just blasphemy, this was beyond blasphemy. This was--there wasn't even a word for it. A woman claiming to be the Great Mother! You worship the same gods as I did. You know what the punishment for those who claim such is. You know what you would do if someone came to you claiming to be a god. You wouldn't believe them.
I knew I shouldn't believe her, too. I knew that it was wrong and sin and went against everything I was ever taught. I knew that logically, there was no way she could be the Goddess. And yet, I swear by my soul, the only thing I have left, that I believed her. Somehow, she alone knows how, I knew ion my hear that she was the Great Mother, and she had come to me, and that it wasn't coincidence that I was the only one in the temple that night.
Immediately I fell to my knees, bowing my head to the ground. "Oh, Great Mother, please, forgive me, I--I don't know why I didn't believe you--"
"Quiet, Kaela," she said sternly. I heard her robe rustle like it was made of the howling wind itself (it probably was) and felt what seemed a hand of fiery ice on my cheek, lifting my head up to look into those brilliant green eyes. "I did not come to you tonight be praised and begged forgiveness of. I came because I need your help."
Now *that* was too much. I could swallow her being a goddess, I could believe that she wanted to speak to me, but that *she,* an immortal goddess, great lady over all the universe, would need my help, was just insane.
"I know you don't believe me," she said, taking my wrist and leading me to the table by the fire, "but let me explain, and then answer.
"You know the stories of the gods, do you not? How we keep our sister Uusoae, Chaos herself, imprisoned so that she doesn't destroy the universe?" I nodded. She went on: "Then you know that we can never kill her, our kin, the one rule that Mother Flame and Father Universe set down on us. And you know that it takes much of our strength to contain her, because she is strong. She is strong because mortals are half chaos-stuff themselves by nature, and she feeds off your stupidity." I raised my eyebrows at that. You would think a goddess would have more tact.
"My most sincere apologies for being blunt," she said, though her tone told me that she didn't mean a syllable of it. "As I was saying, she feeds off your stupidity. It's really not your fault, you know, it's more ours for creating you the way we did. But the point is, you humans have been a bit more stupid than usual lately. And she has broken loose. Oh, not entirely," she added at my horrified expression, "but enough that she could destroy the universe if she got her hands on the right pawns."
"Pawns?" I asked, confused.
"Uusoae works through mortals. Her chosen follow her, and do her work in the mortal realms, since she can't. Right now she's not strong enough to break the barrier that our parents put on her. But she will be soon. And now, her armies are massing in your realm. The Three Sorrows, her minions, have broken loose. They run rampant in this world, as I'm sure you know. And the Immortals, as you call them, that we gods put in this world to keep you mortals in check have done nothing but aid her. It was a mistake, but one that we can't change now.
"Your people are proud and too powerful for your own good, with all that talk about being gods, claiming to be more powerful than we. If you were to push the line an inch farther, we would destroy you. But now that power could prove helpful to us."
I looked at her, yet again startled. But I supposed that was how she wanted me to be-- always confused and shocked. "How?" I asked.
She sighed. "Your people have the power to conquer Chaos, something that we gods can't do."
"Why not?"
"Mother Flame and Father Universe forbid us to directly use the mortal realms as a battle ground. Like Chaos has to work through mortals, so do we."
"But--how are we to fight a goddess?"
She looked at me steadily. "United under the right leader, you could defeat her."
"Does such a person exist?" I asked skeptically.
"Yes," she answered, and with her next words, my life changed for eternity. "She is sitting across from me."
It took a minute for her words to sink in. Then, I stood up and turned away. No, never, never, would I be the one to fight a goddess. I would have to kill. Never, in all eternity, did I want to kill anything. In my rage, a quiet "no" was all I could force past my lips.
"Yes, Kaela," she stood and moved behind me. "You can save humankind, you can defeat Uusoae, you can--"
"I don't care what I can do!" I screamed, turning to face her. "I don't care about saving humankind and the gods and whatever! Mithros, I already gave up my life once! Will you make me die all over again?" Tears of rage stung my eyes, not the sweet, cleansing tears of sadness, but the stinging, salty tears of anger. "I can't kill! I can't! It will kill *me,* and that will make two dead when there could have been none! Why are you tormenting me?"
Her emerald eyes bored into mine. "Because destiny is the one thing you can't escape, my daughter. And her hand is the trickiest of all."
I shook my head, refusing to believe it.
"Child, you can't fight what you are made to be. It was set before at the begining of time that this would be your fate. There is no worth in fighting the ebb and flow of the ocean. It is useless against a force so strong. You would never consider trying. Why do you try to change what you are?"
"I'm not! I'm not a killer! I could never be. Uyne--" I choked. "Uyne is more suited to this than I. She doesn't care about killing, she wanted to be a Knyht. Or Olorun, she'll be a Knyht soon, she could do this better than I ever could--"
"No, they couldn't." She grabbed my shoulders and held on with a grip like iron. "They will grow to be great heroes who will never be forgotten, but you are destined for this. You cannot fight it." She touched the amethyst around my neck. "Did the man who sold you this not say that my hand was on you? He saw it. Your parents sent you to my temple for a reason, and they saw it. Why in the name of all my kin can't you?"
"I don't want this! I don't! I want to marry a merchant and have twelve children and live to be a hundred and five! I don't want to risk my life fighting a for a lost cause!"
"That," she said sharply, "is not for you to decide. If it were, you wouldn't be here now. You'd be married and happy and not having nightmares I had my brother send you every night to prepare you for what's to come!"
I looked at her, into her quietly angry eyes, and I broke down crying. "I've always been a good person," I croaked out between sobs. "I've always been generous to everyone, and I've never begrudged anyone their good fortune, and I've never been selfish. I just wanted to do what made me happy. And I've given up almost all hope of that now. I still think that maybe, maybe someday, I could leave the temple and marry and do what I want. But if I do what you ask of me, then I'll become everything that I hate in others. I'll become a cold-blooded killer. And I would rather kill myself than take another's life. Why do you ask of me what I can never become?"
"Because it is what you are meant to be. Look," she said, and I realized that she held a sword in one hand, and my amethyst--when had she taken that?--in the other. She laid the jewel over the pommel, now without a design, and closed her eyes. I blinked, and when I looked again, the jewel and the sword were one. The Goddess looked back at me. "You are one with this sword now. With it you will take many lives, but in doing so, you will save many more. Keep it close always. I will come to you again soon. Until then--" she touched my cheek-- "have courage, and learn that destiny cannot be fooled. Will of my kin be with you, daughter." And with that, she vanished, leaving me with a sword, tears, and a desperate hatred for the world and everything in it.
Author's Note: Wow. There's the next chapter. A little Valentine's Day treat for all y'all. Sorry it took so long. You see, I have this little problem called PROCRASTINATION. Please pardon the crude jokes, the PAGE rip-off, and the choppiness of this chapter. It's a little shorter than the last one. But a WHOLE lot more important. And, oh, yeah, if any of you happen to be fans of the Rainbow Brite cartoon series, I've got a story going there too. Yeah. I'm gonna go now, cuz I, unlike every other school in the state, have SCHOOL tomorrow. How bad does that suck? I mean, West and City get off for President's day, Valentine's Day, Martin Luther King Jr. Day, and end of tri and conferences, but does Regina? Noooo, cuz we're a CATHOLIC school. The same reason we can't wear shirts with logos or jeans.
Sorry about that. Completely ignore the rant.
-Brad
