Silkspun Dreams IV
all grown up - winry
He couldn't remember how they had first become friends, he had known her for that long. His memories of her were always fond ones that made him smile stupidly at, what appeared to others, nothing. Only Winry could be both incredibly girlie and ridiculously tomboyish at the same time. She loved her dolls and playing dress up, yet taking apart anything mechanical and wrestling with Ed and Al were just as enjoyable. Edward could swear she would act girlie just to annoy him. Ed was her favorite toy, after all, as she would continuously place flower crowns on his head of clip barrettes in his hair just to giggle at his scowling face. Usually he had let her do it, too, just so long as Al or anyone else wasn't around to see it.
So the image of her engraved into his brain was always of the tomboy who could give some tough-as-nails boys a run for their money. Thus is made sense that Winry was just Winry. She was never a girl, she was a friend. She was never the opposite sex, a potential girlfriend, she was just a friend. But an adolescent male's mind can only think that way about an attractive female for so long and suddenly Winry lost her tomboy image. Now she was a woman who had grown nicely into perfect curves and a full chest. It embarrassed Ed to look at her that way and to rebuttal his thought he would often tell her how not cute and not sexy she was during the heat of one of their many arguments. She never really seemed to be phased by this, however, and merely continued the argument, brushing those irrelevant comments aside.
Ed had learned to keep thoughts and emotions buried underneath everything else. It was the only way he knew how to survive, to be honest. His inner demons that caused his mind such torment were, in truth, too much for even himself to handle, let alone someone else. So it was habit to act uncaring in the face of strong emotions such as love. Thus Winry didn't have a clue of his inner turmoil about her. She probably thought him dense and, well, he usually was in these types of cases. But not with Winry. He knew her so well that it was fairly easy to know what to do and what not to do. And sometimes he just couldn't resist doing something that was marked underneath the "what not to do" list just to irk her. He liked teasing her. He always had, but only recently had it become more of a way to flirt with her. Although Winry usually got the last laugh.
However through all of that the words 'I love Winry' never came up in his thoughts. That is, until one summer night. Edward had come for automail repairs and was going to leave the next day. But there had been some problems with his arm and he found himself there longer than he wanted to be. Being here made him anxious. After all, he hadn't returned here for four years for a reason. So he became restless one night. Too tortured by nightmares to sleep, Ed had left his room to take a stroll outside to clear his head. The air was warm but not uncomfortable and the sky was clear, revealing a full moon and twinkling stars. Ed had to admit, he did miss being able to see the stars when he was in the city. He found himself walking toward the giant tree near Winry's house, sitting on a hill. But as he approached it he discovered some one was already there.
Winry stood underneath the tree, apparently also having a case a insomnia. She wore a white night dress that flowed openly to her knees. The nightgown had thin straps and cut dangerously low in a 'V'. She stood with one hand on the tree's trunk, turned sideways slightly as her sapphire eyes gazed at something in the distance. A warm breeze blew her long blonde hair and the loose fabric of her nightgown to one side. Ed stopped several paces away and could only stare, breath catching in his throat at the sight of her. Surely the image of her etched into his head was wrong. She certainly wasn't that small tomboy with short hair and a dress always dirty with mud. No, Winry was well on her way to becoming a very beautiful woman and Ed had taken notice.
Ed watched her for a long time, keeping at a distance so that she wouldn't notice him. Then he went back inside after she did. He knew now for sure. Winry wasn't a friend. He was in love with her. But he knew it could never be. It wasn't fair to her. She deserved someone better...someone who didn't make her cry. In turn he did not deserve her. He was not worthy of feelings of affection and love. Regardless, the image of her standing there replaced the previous one engraved into his mind. It made him happy, made him smile and be at peace. He drifted into a calm sleep afterwards, dreaming of her.
