"What must I do?" I asked, my voice hard.



The Goddess smiled, barely. "I knew you would see it eventually."



"What must I do?" I repeated.



She was quiet for a moment. She was alert, her eyes open and unfocused, as though she were listening.



"I can hear your soul dying." If I didn't know that this was what she had called me to become, I would have thought she sounded sad. "This is what you want?" the Goddess asked. Those brilliant green eyes were nearly mournful.



"No," I answered, oddly calm for the rage that churned inside me. "But it's what we need."



Her eyebrows rose.



"The people need a leader. I am that leader."



She walked over to me, and touched my cheek. My skin burned. "You are destined for great things, daughter. I hope you know that." She looked into my eyes. "You must keep your mind sharp, and be ready for anything. Someday--it could be soon or years from now, I don't know--I will come back to you, and ask you to leave the Temple. You will feel it coming. For now, continue learning to fight. Your friend Uyne will help you. Learn to kill. And, my daughter--" she paused, as though she wasn't sure how to say what she wanted. "Don't let despair overwhelm you. That is how Chaos swallows most of her minions."



I nodded, and walked away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dawn saw me in Uyne's room, my arms around her sleeping body. She had cried herself out by the time the sky started to lighten, and now she was finally getting rest. I pushed my hair back away from my face, trying to ignore the pounding headache I got with every restless night. Somehow we had moved from Uyne's cot to sitting against the wall; actually, I was sitting against the wall, Uyne was lying on the floor, her head in my lap. I could see the morning star out the window, for a few moments the equal of the sun, not faded by its brilliance. I smoothed Uyne's dark hair off her strong features, features etched with sorrow even in sleep. Her eyes tightened slightly against the light as the room brightened. Every breath from her mouth made my heart break, knowing that soon she would wake up and face this horrible world again.



I felt sorrow for her, only her. Her parents deserved what they got. They probably aided the Dark Queen themselves, and most definately they had given shelter to some that helped her. I felt no sympathy for them. A sunset earlier, they would have been unnecessary victims of pointless battle. I would have cried alone for them, simply because they were dead and they didn't have to be. But a cold wind in the night had frozen my heart, and I had no reason to love them, so I was indifferent, if not vengeful, to their fate.



But they had betrayed their own. They had helped those that would kill for no other reason than to kill. My people were murdering my people, and I felt no sorrow. Only rage, and shame at how far the Reiln had fallen.



"Oh, Uyne," I murmered as the star faded into the blue, "what have we come to?"



"How is she?"



I turned to the doorway. Olorun stood there, her face sleepy.



Usually, when I saw Olorun, I felt happy and excited. Usually I smiled without even thinking of it. But today, I felt nothing. And I felt nothing about feeling nothing-- no disappointment, no confusion, nothing. It was the oddest, strangest feeling--just an empty hole where I should have felt *something.*



"She fell asleep about an hour ago. She was crying until then." My voice was emotionless. "What are you doing here?"



Olorun sat down beside me. "I heard about Uyne last night, from Rayenth. I'm sorry."



"Why are you saying that to me? I didn't lose anything," I spat. What was wrong with me? I was practically yelling at Olorun for nothing at all.



She was looking at me strangely now, then at Uyne. She was still asleep. Then, quietly, "I'm sorry I came, Kaela. I just wanted to know if there was anything I could do to help."



"There's not," I replied bluntly.



She nodded, that strange look still on her face. "I'll see you around, then." She stood up to go.



At the door, she turned around. "My ordeal is next month. I was hoping you could come. It will be at Olau, with the other Knyhts-to-be, if we're lucky. Hopefully we won't lose any this year." Detached as I was, I could sense fear in her voice. "Jerin will be there."



Usually, I felt his name like a jolt to my heart. Usually it conjured images of his face in my mind that I couldn't get out for hours afterwards. Usually I was lost in daydreams until the Head Priestess yelled to get my head out of the clouds. Not today.



"I'll be there," I said quietly, even though Uyne was coming to. "Maybe I'll see you before then."



"Maybe." She left.



Uyne moaned and covered her face with her hand. After a minute she gave up and opened her eyes. She smiled when she saw me. "Kaela," she said, and for a minute I felt happy. "What are you doing here?" Then she remembered, and her face crumpled into tears once more.



"Shhh, darling, it'll all be fine, m'love," I whispered as I rocked her back and forth, not remembering where those words had come from.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After that day, Uyne went back to her regular duties, though everyone could tell her heart was not in them. She stared into space, didn't pay attention, and was quiet, not her loud and fun self. I spent every moment I could by her side. I even dragged a spare mattress onto the floor of her bedroom, so that when the dreams woke her up at night, she could have someone there with her. And even though she never said thank you, I could see in her eyes that she was more grateful that she could say, and alongside it a darkness that I couldn't place.



One night, near the end of the eighth month, I woke thrashing on my cot, a horrible dream still imprinted on my mind. I couldn't remember any details of it, just a dark, cold space, and a-- *presense*-- yellow-green and evil and wanting to kill me. It disturbed me so much that I sat in the hard chair by the window, its uncomfort comforting, rather than risk falling into nightmares again. I saw the priests of the Black God walk by in silence, three holding torches and two dragging a cart, on their way to the City to collect a body. The lack of emotion on their face hurt so much I gasped.



"So unfeeling it's painful," Uyne's voice said behind me, her hand suddenly on my shoulder. I looked back at her, and her face was deathly pale.



"You think they could show a little sadness at someone dying, don't you think?" she continued, her voice detached. "Show some sorrow for the family, act like they mean those words they say at the funerals. Act a little more like they care." She paused, then, gaining strength from some inner well, continued.



"You're like them, you know. You don't seem to mean it when you say you wish my family were still alive. You don't care about Jerin anymore, do you? And I heard what you said to Olorun. I don't think I did at the time, but I've been hearing it in my dreams, so much I can tell you exactly what you both said. I can probably guess the looks on your faces." The words flowed from her lips in a torrent river that I doubted would ever stop.



"What's come over you, Kaela? You never smile anymore. Every new tragedy seemed to break your heart. But now, you just shrug and say that it was inevitable, what's happened to us. You act like they *earned* it. For the Goddess's sake, no one asks to die! No one asks to be left behind!"



I didn't answer.



"For love of the Black God, *say* something!"



"Help me learn to fight," I said quietly.



"What the bloody sword of Mithros are you talking about!?"



"Help me learn to fight."



She glared at me. "Why? So you can kill the ones that deserve it? The ones that you think aren't worthy?" Her eyes, the color of forests, now spoke of flaming holocausts among the trees, her anger lit them so. Her skin was white and damp with sweat, the face of one who is not well. Dark hair fell around her face like snakes, and her eyes were so red she could have been weeping blood. If I had to give a face to rage, even now, I would describe Uyne's features that night.



I stared back at her, my eyes impassive. It was not the last time I remained emotionless in the face of anger. It may well have been the first. "Uyne," I said quietly, "go to sleep. You aren't well."

Silence pulled her cloak across us. For several minutes I watched her smoldering eyes, and she watched my apathetic face. Even in the darkness I could see the harshness in them fade away. Then she turned back to her bed. I walked back to my cot. I was falling into sleep's arms when I heard her small, scared voice--



"I don't cry for them anymore, you know. I only cry for you."



She said nothing else, and I fell into a troubled dream.

Author's Note: I think I'll add to that one later. I'm not really happy with it. But I didn't post for a really long time, and it's getting late and I, sadly, have stupid school that prevents me from writing tomorrow. Grrr. I might start combining chapters, since the beginning is getting longer than I meant it to be. Have you ever noticed that the characters that you don't expect to mean much at the beginning end up being your favorites? Uyne wasn't going to have this big a part, but there you go. Anyway, please review, it makes me so happy! -Brad