Hey Guys! Thanks so much for the reviews and the words of encouragement. I will be taking off the setting that only allows people who are logged in to leave a message (damn those presets). As for the next chapter I'll try my best to get it done quickly! Hope you enjoy!
Chapter Two
Cuddy regained her composure after leaving House's office. She silently begged for him not to chase her as she made her way towards the elevators, towards an escape. All afternoon his words had rung out in her mind. Find someone you care about. And of course all afternoon her mind had to ask who. Who did she care about? It certainly wasn't the short list of men she had dated in the recent years or the few long term relationships that ended with little emotional tug on her heart.
She came to the halting realization that since she and House had ended their relationship, back when she was in med school, Cuddy had not invested herself in a relationship. She dated, moved on, had fun with other men, but never did she care enough about them to want to take the relationship any further.
This wasn't really news to Cuddy, but it was the first time that she had allowed herself to admit it. Before, when she had thought of her relationship with House, she had either been filled with unbearable pain or hatred for the man who had caused it. As time passed so did those feelings and recently she had found herself seeing House in the same light as she had when they had first meet.
Her mind wasn't clouded with the same schoolgirl fantasies as before, but she was not impervious to House's charms, or the ways his presence made her stomach flutter. Cuddy had thought that it was only flirting, that there was nothing else behind it, but after their encounter today she knew that their must be more.
Cuddy had been so nervous when asking House to help her with her shots. She didn't want to become the butt of some joke between him and Wilson. Cuddy tried to be all professional after House had agreed to help her. She followed his directions, playing the good little patient, but the moment that that thought went through her mind she found her thoughts quickly going into the gutter.
Bent over her desk with her ass in the air and facing House Cuddy found herself in one of the many positions from her fantasies involving House. She remained facing forward in embarrassment as well as in an attempt to concentrate from stopping herself from rotating her hips, in hopes to relieve some of the pressure building in her core.
When she felt House taking his time 'disinfecting' her behind she felt less embarrassed, and she turned her head to make fun of him. Cuddy had hoped that the arousal in her eyes and on her face wouldn't be seen by House. He didn't lead on that he could notice anything different and finished administering the shot.
Cuddy had spent the next couple hours fighting off the fantasy of House taking her on her desk. She could hardly concentrate on anything else. Then he hit her with a bigger bomb. He threw those questions at her!
When she had decided that she wanted a child, and had come to the conclusion that there was no one that she wanted to have it with, Cuddy had thought that she had put those thoughts of House to rest. After one interrogation from House all of her doubts returned. Of course she wanted what everyone else did, the house, the white-picket fence, the perfect husband and kids. As time had passed she didn't think that all of those things were in her future. She felt prepared to take this step on her own.
Cuddy cursed herself. She had made a promise to herself a long time ago that she would never again all House to get to her emotions. Of course he pissed her off time and again, but that was different then playing with her heart and her head. That was something that Cuddy would refuse to allow him to do again.
That's why she was so upset with herself for her thoughts after his interrogation. Cuddy didn't want to want House. She didn't want to need House. She didn't want to be leaving her office tonight thinking of him, wishing that she hadn't chickened out and instead had asked him for a drink after work.
A drink after work! Cuddy almost laughed to herself. How many times had she and House gone for a drink after work since he'd come to work for her? She couldn't even count. But tonight was different. Tonight she knew she couldn't trust herself. She wanted more than friendship and that scared her. As a friend she knew that she could keep her feelings in check, but as something more Cuddy knew she was helpless.
She shook the thoughts from her head as she reached her car in the parking garage. Cuddy decided that a nice bath and a couple glasses of red wine would help to clear her head. Tomorrow she could get up and forget that today ever happened. She knew that if she ignored House's advances then he would retract.
That was the safest route for her to go. Cuddy had only just decided that she was prepared to try to get pregnant. She wasn't ready to throw a relationship into the mix. And certainly not one that she thought would be doomed from the start.
