Sofaspud23: Wow, I guess this chapter didn't take as long to write as the last one! Then again, the last one took more than half a year to write 'cause I was busy being lazy. I apologize to any huge Kratos fans about the last chapter, maybe the wetting of the pants was going a little bit too far. But I'm trying to make fun of everybody, so there are bound to be casualties. On a side note, there was one contest entry with the right answer in it! The winner was PatrioticPuppy. I've decided to change the contest around a little bit. For every question you answer right, you get one point. Whoever has the most points by the time the trio of troubled teenagers releases the Seal of Fire in Triet gets to add in their own character to the story, to completely mess it up! Any character you like! You can make them up, they can be from another game, or it can be you! I might even add an extra character to my story, too. Of course, by then it'll already be REALLY messed up. I have some very bizarre things planned for the future. Hehehehehe...anyway, here are the answers to the last chapter's contest:
(1) Botta was Bobobo-Bo Bo-bobo on Cartoon Network's Toonami block every Saturday! It's also a manga that's not-so-well-known. Here are 10 of the characters from the show/manga (there are plenty of others but I didn't wanna take the time to list them all):
1. Bobobo-Bo Bo-bobo
2. Don Patch
3. Beauty
4. Gasser
5. Soften
6. Jelly Jiggler
7. Captain Battleship
8. Dengakuman
9. Hatenko
10. The Narrator
(2) The Frontstreet Guys' identities are as follows:
Forcystus - Somebody who always talks in rhyme.
Magnius - Naruto Uzumaki
Kvar - Steve Irwin (Crocodile Hunter)
Rodyle - Toddler
Pronyma - Really Annoying Babysitter
Time to start the chapter! Thanks to everybody for all the reviews!
Disclaimer: I don't own Namco, Tales of Symphonia, or any trademark or copyrighted material of any company. Also, I have nothing against the color purple, and have full respect for anti-purplists around the world. Lastly, I must warn anyone reading this that any lyrics in this fanfic that have been created by yours truly should not be uttered aloud near anyone of any importance as they are very…strange and could result in strange looks from people standing nearby. Sing at your own risk.
CHAPTER III: THE ANGEL
"Ack! My spleen!" Lloyd yelped as he stumbled from the teleporty-stretchy-purpley-thingy. After a few minutes, the pain in his spleen had lessened enough for him to stand up shakily and take in his surroundings. The rest of the group was standing at an altar in the center of the room. Wait, the room! The room was purple! Completely and utterly purple! Nothing but purple, purple, and more purple! "Nooooooo! Not purple! Anything but that! Why? Why? WHY? I have failed in my duty as an anti-purplist! Oww! My spleen still hurts!" he cried.
"Shut up, Lloyd. Nobody likes you," said Colette from the altar.
"Now that we're all hear, this must be the top floor," said Kratos smugly.
"You mean, 'Now that we're all here,' " corrected Genis.
"Yes, that's what I said. This must be the top floor," said Kratos, confused.
"No, you said hear, but you should've said here," said Genis.
"What? You're knot making N.E. cents, Genis. Eye don't get it," said Kratos.
"There you go again! Saying Eye instead of I, knot instead of not and N.E. instead of any!" Genis chastised Kratos.
"Don't forget about sense!" Colette helped.
"Yeah! And cents instead of sense!" Genis shouted, now angry.
"Fine! I'm sorry! I'm such a horrible person! Gaw! I can't believe myself! I have nothing left to live for! I might as well drive a steak through my heart!" Kratos sobbed.
"It's a stake! You should drive a stake through your heart! Not a steak! You eat steak; you can kill stuff with a stake! You could turn a cow into steak using a stake and eat your steak with a stake that you killed the steak with, but you can't kill anything with a steak! Geez!" Genis yelled angrily, and Kratos burst into tears.
"That was mean, Genis! Apologize to Kratos!" Lloyd scolded.
"Shut up, Lloyd! Nobody likes you!" said everyone, including Kratos who had to speak between huge sobs.
"Omigosh! Look at that light!" Colette exclaimed.
"ACHOO! What? No! Not feathers! I'm allergic to feathers! ACHOO! ACHOO!" Kratos sneezed.
An angel appeared within the light, amidst the continually falling feathers. Drums began beating in the background, the mysterious figure began to rap...well, you can't really call it rapping, more like a sad attempt at a rhyme. The worst part was that he had an atrociously fake accent. It sounded as though he was from Djibouti! Here is his...poem:
My name is Remiel
Yeah, that guy with wings!
Kratos is sneezin'
Hello, Lloyd Irving!
"What is that?" wondered Genis
Don'tcha know?
You prob'ly can't tell
'Cause I stubbed my toe!
"An angel, I presume," said Kratos
Look at him act cool!
But all he does is splash
When he's in the pool!
Kratos drew his sword and pointed it at Remiel
Stay out of this Sofaspud23, or else I'll...whem y'all?
"What the hell does that mean?"
Lloyd is askin'
Kratos is scarin' me,
I'm about to get my ass kicked!
So I guess it's time to leave
But before I go
Here's a little gift
From me to yo!
Cruxis bestows upon you
The Cruxis Crystal
Try not to laugh,
'Cause this might tickle!
The crystal floated in midair and shot towards Colette, sticking right on her neck. It wouldn't budge no matter how hard Colette tried to pull it off!
Sofaspud23, that doesn't rhyme!
You suck at rapping!
You're not so great yourself, I don't hear anybody clapping. And you're actually trying, I just narrate. Shizamm, you might be right!
Maybe I'm not that great!
My rhymes are lame.
And now I know.
I've still got one last thing to do
Before I go.
To no further ado,
Here's what everybody wants,
I bestow the Tower of Salvation
Upon Sylvarant!
"Omigosh, it's so pretty" said Colette.
Ain't she a 'beaut?
I bought her on eBay
Sometime last June.
Well, it's time for me to leave,
I won't be a bother!
But this I gotta say,
COLETTE, I AM YOUR FATHER!
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Colette screamed! "Omigosh! An M&M!" she exclaimed, seizing the chocolate from the floor below. "Eww, it's all dirty!" Then she had a horribly evil idea. "Hey, Lloyd...want an M&M?" she asked Lloyd.
Lloyd, shocked that Colette was actually speaking to him of her own will, could only say, "Wagdibogdom!"
"Shut up, Lloyd! Nobody---ah, I mean...really? Here...you...go..." said Colette through gritted teeth. It was very hard for her to part ways with the M&M. They had been through so much together! Walking by the shores of Gitchigumi and the waters of Katanktan. They had even gone to a Hukilau (hoo-kee-low) together! But in the end, she had to hand it over to Lloyd. "I'll miss you and think of you always," said Colette.
Lloyd was, at this point, very confused, so much that he was utterly unable to understand much of the goings-on around him. However, Genis was. "Colette! Remiel's getting away!" the young boy cried.
"Like, not if I can help it!" Colette called, still upset about the loss of her friend, the brown M&M. She had always loved it because it had had so much less artificial flavoring than the other colors.
So she pulled out a pink laser sword and lunged at Remiel, who had been enjoying a nice Take 5, (the best candy bar ever) and immediately parried the attack with a silver lightsaber decorated in golden bling, and used it to cut off Colette's hand. Colette fell to the ground in a lifeless heap. Remiel vanished, along with the feathers.
"Ah, finally! Time to clear my sinuses!" said Kratos, and he began to snort, so as to clear his nose and prevent sneezing as well as snoring.
"COLETTE!" Lloyd called. He ran over to where Colette lay. She was shaking uncontrollably. "Colette, are you okay?" he asked her. He could see her severed hand somewhere in the shadows to the left, and was utterly disgusted by it. He wondered why it wasn't bloody. He also wondered why grass was green and the sky was blue, marveled at how shiny the ceiling was, hated the purple walls and Tom Cruise, and tried to figure out why he had given that M&M to Genis, when Colette stood up!
"Haha, you should've seen the look on your face!" she was saying.
"What do you mean?" Lloyd said.
"I got you with the fake hand trick! Me and Remiel planned the whole thing!" Colette said.
"Colette, that was really—" Lloyd started.
"Shut up, Lloyd. Nobody likes you!" cried the rest of the group, and at last there was silence. But in the silence several things happened. Kratos snorted (he still hadn't completely cleared his sinuses), Lloyd blinked, Genis scratched his left wrist (he has dry skin), and a house fell on top of Colette! A young girl with auburn hair in a ponytail emerged with a large toad-thing by her side. She appeared to be wearing bronze pajamas.
"Jiraiya," she said, "I don't think we're in Treantwood anymore!" Unfortunately for the young girl, it was at that moment that Raine happened to enter through the teleporty-stretchy-purpley-thingy.
"MARVELOUS!" she cried. "Genis? Is that you?" she asked of the girl.
"No...my name is Suzu...and...I gotta go!" said the girl, trying to run away.
"That is you, Genis! I recognize your girly voice! Come back here!" Raine called, seizing the girl's ponytail.
"Let me go! Let me go!" cried the girl, who then made a hand sign and turned into a large rock! Raine couldn't tell the difference, and she began violently spanking the rock.
"Excuse me, I don't believe we've met before. I am Kratos, and you are?" said Kratos.
"Shut up, Lloyd! Don't think I don't recognize you in your clever purple disguise! You're next!" said Raine. Kratos had a disturbing look on his face that clearly told everyone there (excluding Colette, who was currently crushed under the house) that he wouldn't mind it one bit if Raine spanked him.
"I'm gonna kill you, Kratos! Stone Blast!" said Genis, and several tiny pebbles erupted from underneath Kratos, ramming straight into the place where the sun don't shine.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Kratos' scream echoed throughout the temple. But for now, we must leave the Martel Temple for it is close to midnight and I would rather not stay up all night typing the rest of this chapter. Be thankful that I have finished it now and now twenty years from now! I supposed all that is left is the contest for this chapter. There are three this time! Here they are:
1. Introduced in this chapter was Suzu, and we shall certainly see her in many chapters to come. Your task is to tell me what video game she is from, and give me a little background information. For example, where she's from, her personality, her age, etc.
WINNERS: 1/2 - PatrioticPuppy, 1/2 - freakyanimegal456
HINT: Once you've figured out what her video game is, all of her info can be found in the instruction manual for that particular game.
2. Just a moment ago, I used the phrase "Be thankful I've finished it now and not twenty years from now!" This is a reference to a famous movie. The real quote is, "Be thankful I'm giving you audience tomorrow and not twenty years from now!" Name the movie, and name who said it.
WINNER: freakyanimegal456
HINT: I made another reference to it earlier in the chapter.
3. This one is completely unrelated to the chapter. Name all of the movies (not including shorts) that have been created by Disney and Pixar.
WINNER: PatrioticPuppy
HINT: There is a commercial for their most recent creation that lists all of them. The most recent one has Larry the Cable Guy playing one of the characters in the movie.
Standings:
PatrioticPuppy - 2.5
freakyanimegal456 - 1.5
