Sofaspud23: Well, the last chapter was awfully short and I hope I can make up for it in this chapter. Heh, a couple days ago I suddenly realized that I still had, if all goes as planned, 150 chapters to go before the story's end, maybe more. So I told myself, "Self, you've gotta crack down!" And do you know what I did? I put it off for a week or two (I went to Hawaii and then Worlds of Fun), and then I cracked down out of sheer boredom (summer can have that effect on people). But before we start the fourth chapter, I'd like to announce the last chapter's contest answers.
1. Suzu Fujibayashi (she's like Sheena's great, great, great, great, etc. grandma or something) is from Namco's first ever Tales game, Tales of Phantasia (now available for Gameboy Advance), which takes place before Tales of Symphonia, before the worlds were split apart. She is 11 years old (10 and 12 are close enough) and lives in the Ninja Village (Mizuho), deep in the Treantwood forest, (the forest surrounding Heimdall). She has an innocent nature, but she has trouble expressing her emotions due to her grandfather's strict training. (I've been using a lot of parentheses in this paragraph) At least, that's what she was like before she entered my twisted story...Dun dun dun! (Ooh, suspense!)
Winners: 1/2 - PatrioticPuppy, 1/2 - freakyanimegal456
2. The quote was from The Wizard of Oz, uttered by the great and powerful wizard of Oz himself.
Winner: freakyanimegal456
3. There have been seven movies created by Disney and Pixar studios. The latest movie, Cars, has Larry the Cable Guy playing a tow truck. Here are the seven movies, listed in their order of creation:
1. Toy Story
2. A Bug's Life
3. Toy Story 2
4. Monsters, Inc.
5. Finding Nemo
6. The Incredibles
7. Cars
Winner: PatrioticPuppy
Standings:
PatrioticPuppy - 2.5
freakyanimegal456 - 1.5
Disclaimer: I do not claim ownership of Namco, Tales, Nintendo, The Wizard of Oz, Disney, Pixar, Blue Collar TV, Pepsi, La-Z-Boy, Cheez-it, MTV, or any other copyrighted material that I do not have listed.
CHAPTER IV: ISELIA FOREST
When we last left our trio of troubled teenagers, Kratos, Raine, and the new girl, Suzu, they were experiencing quite a scuffle in the Martel Temple. Colette was underneath a house, Kratos was stoned (literally), Raine was spanking a large rock, Genis was yelling random curses at Kratos, Suzu was nowhere in sight, and Lloyd was sitting in a La-Z-Boy eating popcorn.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Kratos' scream echoed throughout the temple, making it seem as though a thousand Kratoses were having pebbles rammed into their happy place simultaneously.
"Lloyd, be quiet!" Raine scolded, tossing aside the rock and kicking Kratos in the same place he had been hit with the pebbles. Kratos collapsed on the floor gasping for air.
Then the little girl, Suzu, appeared out of nowhere and scrambled into the house that was on top of Colette. "Genis, get back here! Never go into someone's house without knocking! That's another beating for you!" said Raine, who then started beating up the rock again.
A mechanical voice could now be heard emanating from the house. "10, 9, 8, 7..."
"Oh no! It's gonna blow!" Genis cried, noticing the smoke coming out of the bottom end of the house. "Let's get outta here!"
"But Colette's getting burnt to a crisp!" Lloyd exclaimed, "We've gotta help her!"
"But what can we do? We're gonna die in a couple seconds!" said Genis.
Thinking fast, Lloyd raised his hands high in the air and ran around in circles, screaming like a little girl. (Genis was right behind him)
"3, 2, 1, ignition!" came the mechanical voice of the house, which launched into the air, rammed into the side of the temple, and fell back down again...right on top of Raine!
"Professor!" Lloyd called out in dismay.
"Don't worry, she always comes back in the end," Genis told him.
"What do you mean?" Lloyd asked.
"She just won't die! She always comes back, it's like she's a zombie or something!" Genis said.
Genis obtained the title of "Brotherly Hatred"
Raine obtained the title of "Zombie"
"Hey, let's go check on Colette," Lloyd suggested. So they both walked over to the house's former resting place, and there they found Colette, still very much alive, but with a severe case of sunburn.
"Mmmnm! Mhmnmhmm!" Colette said.
"Hey! The burning sealed her mouth shut!" Genis cried happily.
"But we can't just leave her like this," Lloyd said. They both agreed on that, and Genis took out an Apple Gel and they both attempted to use it on Colette. Genis tried to rub it on her arm, but that didn't seem to work. Lloyd had the idea of feeding it to her, but that was no use as her mouth was burned shut. Finally, they just did the same thing as the Life Bottle, holding it in the air above their heads, and voila! Colette's burns were gone!
"Omigosh! You guys just left me here, how could you? I am your queen, you obey everything I say! When I say, 'Jump' you say 'How high?' do you understand?" Colette ordered them, "Hey, where'd Raine go?" So Lloyd and Genis told her of the flying house and how it had landed on Raine.
"Hey, someone's coming out of the house!" Genis pointed out. It was the little girl from earlier, Suzu.
"You two hide somewhere, I'll go straighten this out," said Colette as she walked over to Suzu, and began interrogating her. "So...this your house?"
"Y-yeah..." said Suzu shakily.
"It's a nice house...'bout how long have you been in ownership o' this here house?" Colette asked.
"Uhh...11 years? I think," Suzu replied.
"And 'bout how long have you been flying your house?" Colette asked.
"A couple months, uh, since February, I believe," Suzu answered.
"Oh, so about the time Chapter 2 was finished," Colette noticed.
"Yeah, that sounds about right," agreed Suzu.
"And do you happen to have the proper license required for house-flying?" asked Colette.
"Well, no, I..." Suzu murmured.
"And are you aware that your house has just crushed a wicked bitch?" asked Colette.
"Oh no! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to—" Suzu began.
"It's okay, it's okay, we've all killed our share of people, right you guys?" Colette reassured Suzu.
"That's right!" came Lloyd and Genis' voices from the hiding spots.
Colette pulled out a walkie-talkie. "Yeah, we got us a code four-zero-niner, little girl's flying a house without a license, crushed a wicked bitch, over." There was an indistinct reply, then Colette said, "Mmhmm! Yep. Uh-huh. Saturday night. Okay, see you then!" Colette turned off the walkie-talkie and stuffed it in her shirt pocket.
"Please, I'm just trying to get back to Treantwood," Suzu pleaded.
"All right, you idiots! It's safe to come out now!" Colette called. Lloyd and Genis leapt out of their hiding spots to come see Suzu.
"Raine's gone! It's a miracle!" Lloyd cheered.
"I'm telling you, she'll come back..." said Genis.
Suzu felt that this was going a little too far. "It really was no miracle, what happened was just this: The wind began to switch, the house to pitch, and suddenly the hinges started to unhitch. Just then the bitch, to satisfy an itch, was beating up a rock, she is such a witch! And oh, what happened then was rich! The house began to pitch, the kitchen took a slitch. It landed on the wicked bitch in the middle of a ditch, which was not a healthy situation for the wicked bitch, who began to twitch, and was reduced to just a sitch of what was once the wicked bitch!" Suzu said all of this very quickly and looked at Lloyd, Genis, and Colette expectantly.
However, none of them had understood a word of what she had said, so there was an awkward silence until at last Colette said, "Let the joyous news be spread, the wicked old bitch at last is dead!"
"WHY IS EVERYONE TALKING IN RHYME!" Lloyd screamed, nearly driven insane by all the rhymes.
It was then that Suzu really took notice of Lloyd and she instantly became deeply infatuated with him. She stared at him for a time as he pulled some of his hair out trying to escape the rhymes.
"Shut up, Lloyd! Nobody likes you!" Genis and Colette called.
"Don't feel bad! I like you, Lloyd!" Suzu said, and Genis and Colette gave her looks of bewilderment.
"What did you just say?" asked Colette.
"I said I like Lloyd," Suzu repeated. (Lloyd was unaware of any of this, as he was busy ripping out his hair)
"But you can't like Lloyd, that's impossible," said Genis. Actually, it had been scientifically proven that it was impossible to like Lloyd. And yet this girl was defying science!
"But I do. I like Lloyd. He seems nice, and he's...well..." Suzu didn't need to finish her sentence.
"OH MY GOD! EWW! THAT'S DISGUSTING!" Genis yelled and Colette started gagging. She nearly passed out!
"Why don't you guys like him? You've grown up with him all your life!" Suzu wondered aloud.
"Well you see," Genis said in his 'scientific' voice, "Everyone from the entire world of Sylvarant (except for Lloyd) has a certain enzyme in their brain that prevents them from liking Lloyd. It's common sense! Everyone knows that!" Genis informed Suzu.
"Wait!" Colette was struck with an idea. "Maybe since Suzu's from Treantwood, which is a star, she doesn't have the enzyme thingy!"
"Treantwood isn't a star, it's a forest!" Suzu explained.
"Whatever!" Colette replied, "Anyway, now that I got the Cruxis Crystal, shouldn't I be leaving?"
"Oh yeah, I completely forgot that we're supposed to follow a storyline!" said Genis.
"Yes! Everyone finally stopped talking in rhyme!" Lloyd cheered. (He was now nearly bald, so he used an Apple Gel on his hair. Poof! 30 of his hair was back! It's amazing what Apple Gels can do!)
"I'm gonna head back to my house. Don't come by my house! I remember the last time you did...
FLASHBACK
Lloyd is sitting on the bed dressed up as Phaidra when Colette walks in. Genis is hiding underneath the bed.
"Grandma? Is that you?" Colette asked.
Lloyd had to work to make his voice high-pitched. "Oh, yes! I'm your grandma, sugar pumpkin!"
"But what spiky hair you have!" she pointed out.
"All the better to keep warm with!" said Lloyd.
"And what a small nose you have! It makes you look like a chipmunk!" said Colette. (even though her nose was just as small, and Genis looks the most like a chipmunk out of anybody)
"All the better to...uh..." said Lloyd.
"Run around collecting nuts and berries with!" Genis whispered to Lloyd from under the bed.
"All the better to run around collecting nuts and berries with!" Lloyd proudly declared, just before an angry, "Hey, wait! Genis, not everybody enjoys doing that all the time!"
Genis crawled out from under the bed. "But why not? It's fun, and it helps you survive through the winter!" Shockingly, Genis grew a long, bushy tail and flew out the open window into the sunset.
END FLASHBACK
Lloyd and Genis stared at Colette. "Uh, Colette?" Genis asked tentatively.
"What?" Colette asked.
"That never happened," said Lloyd.
"Oh...right! That was my friend Binky! He's a chipmunk! He can fly! Never mind! Bye!" And with that, Colette stepped into the teleporty-stretchy-purpley-thingy and disappeared.
"Wow, so I guess the rumors were true," said Genis.
"What rumors?" Lloyd questioned.
"The rumors about Colette being friends with a flying chipmunk named Binky," said Genis.
"Oh, I see," said Lloyd, "So I guess we'd better go back to Colette's house,"
"Yeah, let's go," said Genis.
"Wait, you guys!" Suzu called after them. "I wanna travel with you guys," she said, eyeing Lloyd with a scary look in her eyes. Fortunately, Lloyd failed to catch it.
Genis was trying to save Lloyd. "Uh, I dunno, didn't you...wanna get back to your star or something?"
"Yeah, but I don't know how to get back there! Besides, a little girl like me should always have a big, strong—" Suzu said.
"Hey! Lloyd! Why don't we get on our way? Let's go!" Genis said hurriedly.
"How come she couldn't come with us? I don't see why not," said Lloyd.
"Because! She's..." Genis started.
"Oh, I see! You're just sexist! You don't like her because she's a girl, right? I'm right, aren't I? I knew it! Suzu, you can come with us, don't mind Genis," said Lloyd.
"Yay!" cheered Suzu.
"Fine, whatever," said Genis, "But don't say I didn't warn you."
As they left the temple, a thought occurred to Lloyd. "So I guess angels really do have wings," he said.
"Yeah, I guess so," said Genis.
"Wouldn't that be kinda hard?" asked Suzu.
"What are you two talking about?" asked Genis.
"Well, you'd have to make holes in your clothes and stuff for the wings to go through!" said Lloyd.
"Yeah! I wonder if they get in the way when they go to sleep?" said Suzu.
"Have you two been thinking about this the entire time?" asked Genis.
"Of course! Aren't you curious?" Suzu asked.
"It's like having another Lloyd..." Genis complained.
So, the group of grumbling grease-monkeys became giant and made their way back to Iselia. Once they arrived there, they swam around in the liquid-like ground of the Save Circle and saved their progress, (Lloyd nearly drown since he can't swim) then wandered around Iselia looking for Colette's house, since nobody had ever told them where it was.
While they were walking, Lloyd said, "Oops..."
"What is it now, Lloyd?" Genis asked.
"I've still got the Sorcerer's Ring," said Lloyd, "It's not gonna hurt if I keep it, right?"
"Raine's gonna get mad," Genis warned him.
"Yeah, but wasn't she dead?" Suzu asked.
"She always comes back...always..." Genis said, then shuddered.
"Hey! This looks like Colette's house! It's got a bunch of flowers in the front yard!" Lloyd pointed out.
So the group of grumbling grease-monkeys rudely entered Colette's house without knocking or ringing the doorbell or doing anything of an introductory sort just as the Mayor was concluding the meeting of townsfolk.
"Then we'll entrust the protection of the Chosen to Kratos and Raine," said the Mayor. Several citizens of the town, Colette, Phaidra, Frank, the Mayor, and Raine were gathered around the large kitchen table in Colette's house.
"I have no objections," said Kratos.
"Oh no, it's you guys," said Colette, noticing the group of grumbling grease-monkeys standing in one corner of the house.
"Thank you for your assistance earlier. Please accept this small thanks," said Phaidra, handing a book to Lloyd.
Acquired Collector's Book
"Oh, great. A book. Thank you so much," said Genis sarcastically.
"Thanks, Phaidra," said Lloyd. He LOVED books! "Say, were you—wait! Wasn't Raine dead?"
"She always comes back, man! Always!" Genis whispered to Lloyd in a spooky fashion.
Genis obtained the title of "I Told ya So!"
"That's just wrong...anyway, were you talking about the world regeneration journey just now?" Lloyd said.
"Yes," said Phaidra.
"I wanna go, too! I wanna be a lonely moron who chases after Colette for his whole life!" Lloyd exclaimed excitedly.
"If Raine's going, I'm staying right here!" said Genis.
"No, you'll get in the way," said Kratos to Genis.
"Wh...what?" Lloyd asked, genuinely confused.
"You're too short. People trip over your small, chipmunk-resembling body all the time! There's no way you're staying here. From now on, you live in the forest and forage for berries," said Kratos.
"So does that mean I can go with you guys?" Lloyd asked.
"Shut up, Lloyd! We don't like you!" cried everyone surrounding the table.
"I like you, Lloyd..." Suzu said, batting her eyelashes. Lloyd still hadn't realized anything abnormal about Suzu.
"Okay, I guess I'll go back to my house now," said Genis.
"No! Kratos is absolutely right! I don't know how many times I've tripped over you! You two should go on to the forest and start searching for berries right away," said the Mayor.
So the group of grumbling grease-monkeys left Colette's house. They were just about to continue on their merry little way when Colette emerged from her house.
"Please wait!" she called, (it wasn't really necessary since they hadn't started moving yet) "I'm sorry," She then tripped over her own feet, falling into the flowerbed to her right. "Ack! These flowers are sharp! Oww! Dammit, Lloyd! Why'd you trip me again?"
"I didn't trip you!" Lloyd said.
"Oh. I'm sorry," Colette apologized.
"It's not like it's your fault," said Lloyd.
"Oh yeah. I'm sorry," she yet again apologized.
"Listen! Never mind!" Lloyd yelled. (maybe he just likes to hear himself yell)
"Oh yeah! Happy birthday, Colette!" Genis remembered, even though she had only known Colette one day.
A large white blob with an exclamation point in it emerged from the depths of Lloyd's spiky hair.
"I made you some invisible cookies, if I had known you were gonna leave tomorrow I would've done something a little more special, but..." said Genis.
"No, no! I love invisible cookies! They don't taste like anything and you can eat as many as you want without gaining an ounce!" Colette replied.
"What about you, Lloyd?" Suzu asked, "You were gonna make her a necklace, right?"
"Uhhh...heh...hold on, how'd you know about that?" said Lloyd.
"I stole your diary when you weren't looking, read it, and sniffed it a couple times. Were you, by any chance, eating a blueberry muffin on January 21st?" said Suzu.
"Yes, but that's beside the point!" said Lloyd. Let it be known that from this day onward, January 21st shall be Blueberry Muffin Day!
"That's the whole point of this fanfic! It's always beside the point!" Colette pointed out.
"Well anyway, you put way too much butter on that muffin! You're gonna gain some weight if you keep that up!" Suzu warned him.
"If that happens, you can try some of these invisible cookies!" said Colette, currently munching on one ravenously.
"Right, whatever. So does anybody remember what we were talking about before all this talk about my muffin?" asked Lloyd.
"Don't tell me you forgot!" said Genis.
"Right! The necklace! It's almost done! I'll give it to you tomorrow before you leave!" said Lloyd to Colette.
"Really? I'm so happy! As soon as I find out when we're leaving, I'll go to your house to let you know!" said Colette.
"Isn't it gonna be dangerous?" Lloyd asked.
"Yeah but I'm a blonde, remember? I'll be fine," said Colette.
"Didn't somebody once say that you couldn't get through life on good looks alone?" said Genis.
"Maybe, but whoever did should get hit by a train! See you later!" said Colette as she returned to the house.
"...Liar," Genis remarked.
"If I start on it now, I'll finish it in time!" said Lloyd confidently.
"That's what you said about that muffin you got at Thanksgiving!" said Genis.
"And I finished it, didn't I?" said Lloyd.
"Yeah, in January!" said Genis.
"Hmm, yeah, that muffin needed a lot of butter," said Lloyd.
"Whatever! Hey, you're going home now right? Can I go part of the way with you?" Genis asked.
"Sure, why? Lemme guess, you've got a lean-to and a stash of nuts and berries somewhere in the forest?" Lloyd suggested.
"Not yet, I don't start collecting 'till August. I'm going to see a friend," said Genis.
"Friend? I didn't know you had friends outside of the village besides me!" said Lloyd.
"Does it matter? Anyway, can we stop by my house so I can get my stuff?" Genis asked.
Nobody knew where Genis' house was (not even Genis), since Genis generally lived in the forest, so the group of grumbling grease-monkeys again wandered the streets of Iselia.
On the way to Genis' house, they passed an odd-looking man standing outside of a house, looking in the window. So Lloyd walked up to him and asked him what he was doing.
"My wife kicked me out of the house so she could clean," said the man.
"Don't you usually clean in the spring?" Lloyd asked, curious.
"My wife kicked me out of the house so she could clean," the man said again.
"Yeah, I know that," said Lloyd.
"My wife kicked me out of the house so she could clean," the man repeated.
"Whatever, I'll go talk to your wife," said Lloyd, going inside the house. The only person in the house was a man walking around aimlessly. "Hey, I heard this guy's wife kicked him outta the house 'cause she was cleaning. Do you know where she went?" Lloyd asked.
"I've got to clean this place up thoroughly for tomorrow," said the man.
"So you're cleaning? But that guy said his wife was cleaning...are you his wife?" Lloyd joked.
"I've got to clean this place up thoroughly for tomorrow," said the man, who was apparently not a man and was the wife of the guy standing outside the window.
"Eww, that's just nasty! You could at least try to look a little feminine! Geez!" said Lloyd.
"I've got to clean this place up thoroughly for tomorrow," said the man's wife.
"Fine, whatever! I'm going!" said Lloyd, "Man, all that lady talks about is cleaning! What a strange woman..." So the group of grumbling grease-monkeys trekked all around Iselia, until they at last had found Genis' house, where Genis gathered sandwich ingredients and stored them in a magical bag that can hold 20 of any kind of food imaginable and keep it from spoiling.
"I should've put that blueberry muffin in there, I wouldn't have had to use as much butter," said Lloyd.
"You're saying we came all this way just for sandwiches?" Suzu asked in disbelief.
"Actually, cooking is very important. In 1271, when the Hemoglobin uprising was in effect..." Genis ranted on.
...4 long hours later...
"...and that's why cooking is important!" Genis concluded. Lloyd was on the edge of his seat and he applauded, waking up Suzu who had nodded off around 'cooking is very important'. Binky the flying chipmunk had stolen the sandwich ingredients during the lecture, and the group of grumbling grease-monkeys left without taking notice.
"Finally! We can leave the village!" said Suzu, who was looking forward to seeing Genis' friend. He sounded hot to her! (lol)
"Lloyd! Stop this...thing!" came the cry of Guard A from the gates.
"What do you mean, Guard A?" Lloyd asked.
"Your pet! This...creature!" said Guard B.
"Noishe!" Lloyd called.
"Whine" said Noishe. (Wassup, mah homie! Lemme in, yo!)
"Noishe, what're you doing here? You know you're not supposed to be in the village!" Lloyd scolded Noishe.
"You always have him bring you to the village! Don't talk to him that way!" Genis said angrily, just after another puff of smoke erupted from his head. I think he might have a disease or something. Maybe he should see a doctor about that.
"That reminds me, Lloyd, the Mayor wanted me to ask you a question," said Guard B.
"From the Mayor? What is it?" Lloyd questioned.
"It's about the NORTHWEST FOREST that you go through on your way home. You know there's a HUMAN RANCH there, right?" Guard B asked, "You haven't been playing there, have you?"
"Of course not! Right, Genis?" said Lloyd.
"Y...yeah, of course not..." Genis stammered.
"Really? If so, that's fine. But that weird animal..." said Guard B.
"How many times do I have to tell you? Noishe is a chicken!" said Lloyd.
"Sorry, he just doesn't look like a chicken! He looks like a dog!" said Guard B, "Make sure he doesn't go near the ranch, either."
"We can go now, right? Let's go! NOW!" Suzu insisted. She was really looking forward to the 'hot' friend of Genis'. She had been imagining what he would look like during the entire conversation, and hadn't even taken notice of Noishe.
"Be careful," said Guard A.
"We will. See you later, Guard A! You too, Guard B! Watch yourself!" Lloyd called, "Time to go, Noishe,"
"Whine" said Noishe. (I can't get in? Dat's a load of shizzle, manizzle! You just hate me 'cause I'm green! A wise man once said, 'It's not easy being green'. Yeah, you could learn a thing or two from him!)
"Why were you trying to enter the village, Noishe?" Lloyd asked.
"Whine" said Noishe. (Being the world's largest green chicken, I get a lot of the paparazzi hanging around me, so I thought I'd get away for a while and scan the babes at the same time, y'know?) Just then a pigeon landed on Noishe's left ear. "Whine" (Ah, yeah! She digs me! Hey, baby! What're you doing tonight?)
"He was probably looking for you," Genis said.
"You think so?" said Lloyd.
And with that, they all became gargantuan again, making their way to the Iselia Forest. They had a boring conversation about Genis being called short by Kratos, and also by the Mayor, and Raine, and Colette, and Lloyd, and Suzu, and Zelos (who he had never met or even heard of, but had probably been called short by anyway), and Binky, and many more people whom I shan't mention, for much like the Lloyd-Hating enzyme, there is a Calling-Genis-Short enzyme in everyone's heads as well.
Upon their entry to the Iselia Forest (notice how it coincides with the chapter name), Noishe turned around immediately and said, "Whine" (Okay, everybody! I've got this hilarious joke! So there are these three guys, and two of 'em walk into a bar. You know what the third guy does? He ducks!) After Noishe's whine, the sound of two drums and a cymbal falling off of a cliff could be heard in the distance.
A blob with a question mark in it rose upon everyone's head in the group of grumbling grease-monkeys. You know what? I think they've all got a disease or something, what with all these things popping out of their heads! They must have himpees, let's call it that. That's what they get for eating the school's grilled cheese! Seriously, the bread is hard as a rock! Why don't they have a magical food bag at the school? Ah, but I digress! Let us return to the group of grumbling grease-monkeys!
"Oh, that's right. Noishe doesn't like this place," said Genis.
"He won't go near places like this that have lots of monsters, even though you hardly ever see any bigger than him," said Lloyd.
"Whine" said Noishe. (Man, you guys can't take a joke, can you? I'm outie!)
"Ah, he ran off again! Fine, do whatever you want, Noishe!" said Lloyd.
"I keep thinking, if he's gonna run away he should at least take us with him," said Genis.
While they were wandering around the forest, Lloyd noticed a flower walking around. "Hey, you guys! Check it out! It's a flower that can walk on two legs!" he said.
"What are you talking about? Flowers don't have legs! It's walking on two roots," Genis corrected.
"Look out! It's coming this way!" said Suzu. Lloyd was so startled that he accidentally shot it with the Sorcerer's Ring! And instead of burning, the flower turned blue!
"Hey, instead of burning the flower turned blue!" Suzu pointed out.
"You're right! Haha, let's poke it with a stick and see what it does!" Lloyd suggested. So they all had a merry time, poking the flower with a stick until they got bored with it and continued through the forest. They took a left and went down a slope, where they found a worm and a treasure chest. "Hey, it's a worm!" said Lloyd. He shot it with the Sorcerer's Ring and poked it with a stick some more, but, of course, poking the worm wasn't nearly as entertaining as the flower was, so they returned to the flower to poke it some more. Once they got bored again, they opened the treasure chest and found an Apple Gel.
Apple Gel was found.
"I wonder how they make Apple Gels?" Suzu wondered, "Do they come from real apples?"
"Hey, you know what they should do? They oughtta make apple flavored ice cream!" said Lloyd.
"Better yet, apple flavored Cheez-its!" said Suzu.
"No, you guys," said Genis, "They need Cheez-it flavored apples."
"Ice Cream flavored apples!" Suzu chimed in.
"Cheez-it flavored ice cream!" said Lloyd.
"Are you crazy, Lloyd? That'd taste sick!" said Genis.
"I think it'd taste great, Lloyd..." said Suzu to Lloyd (who was still very unaware of her feelings towards him).
The group of grumbling grease-monkeys spotted another treasure chest, and just as they were about to open it a bizarre thing happened. A tiger poked its head through the chest and attacked the group of grumbling grease-monkeys! The forest shattered into a million pieces and they were in an entirely new place! Actually, it was the same place it just appeared to be different! At first, this startled Suzu and all she could do was stupidly say, "Wagdibogdom!"
Somehow, the tiger had turned into a bunny rabbit and...a slimy thing that looked like Jell-O. "Genis," said Lloyd while the Jell-O and the bunny were approaching, "How can a tiger turn into Jell-O and a rabbit? Is that even possible?"
"Actually, it's quite common. The tiger may have evolved into a lower form of a subordinate category of species, therefore enacting in an action similar to mitosis, or perhaps meiosis depending on whether the Jell-O and the bunny each have the same amount of chromosomes containing genes and deoxyribonucleic acid," said Genis.
"Oh, I see," said Lloyd, "Thanks for clearing that up for me!"
"But the bunny's not wearing jeans!" said Suzu, who had only heard a couple of words from Genis' speech, and had only understood and few of the ones she had heard. Genis never bothered to explain anything to her, or to me, so now nobody knows what the heck he was talking about (except for Lloyd). The group of grumbling grease-monkeys defeating the Jell-O and the bunny with ease, and Lloyd tasted the Jell-O, which turned out to be quite yummy so they packed some of it in the magical food bag of forever freshness.
They immediately were transported back to the Iselia Forest, even though they never really left in the first place, the treasure chest just disappeared. They opened the chest and found a Life Bottle. Whoop-de-doo and yippee for them.
Life Bottle was found.
"So Genis, who's your friend?" Suzu asked.
"Is she the one you keep taking your school lunch to?" Lloyd asked.
"How'd you know about that?" Genis asked.
"Suzu stole your diary, too. She's been telling me all the juicy stuff the whole way over here," said Lloyd.
"Oh, okay. Then that's no so bad. I thought it might've been something creepy, like a little girl stealing my diary," said Genis.
Suzu obtained the title of, "Stalker"
"So that dog must really like you now!" said Lloyd.
"It's not a dog!" cried Genis.
"Really? This whole time I thought you were keeping a dog a secret from the Professor!" said Lloyd.
"Are you kidding? If I had a dog, he'd eat all the nuts and berries I had stashed!" said Genis.
"Hey, a Save Circle!" Suzu noticed. Lo and behold, there was indeed a Save Circle! It was right next to a sign which nobody notices...ever. It's pretty much invisible to the naked eye, it blends in really well. It read, 'Unauthorized Personnel Prohibited'. So of course, even if you happened to notice the sign and had the ability to read, the abnormally large words would befuddle you into insanity, so it's much better that it's not too visible.
"Okay, here's my stop," said Genis.
"The Desian Human Ranch? But doesn't going there violate the non-aggression treaty?" Lloyd asked.
"The Desians already attacked the temple!" Genis pointed out.
Lloyd's himpees must have been acting up right about then, because random squiggles emerged from his prickly head, causing him to say "That's true, but..."
"I know I'm not supposed to, but there's someone I just have to tell about the oracle!" said Genis.
"All right, fine! But I'm worried about you going by yourself, so I'm coming too," said Lloyd.
"Me too! I wanna meet your friend!" said Suzu, jumping up and down with excitement.
So the group of grumbling grease-monkeys saved their progress in the Save Circle (they had to overwrite their existing data, and kept accidentally pressing no instead of yes, because they were very impatient and repeatedly pressed the A button) and entered the ranch, disregarding Guard B's advice.
This chapter's got five more questions! I think they're harder than the last chapter's, although my opinion doesn't really matter much in this area. Also, I'm adding a new rule. You can only answer on question per chapter. Sorry, but two people sent in all the answer to last chapter's questions, and I figure this way we can sorta share the wealth. Here are the five questions:
1. Category: Language Arts
In the last chapter I used the word hukilau. Tell me what the word means, use it in a sentence, and tell me what language it's from.
Difficulty: Hard
WORTH THREE POINTS
1 point will be given for merely listing the language it comes from.
HINT: Pronounced (hoo-KEE-low) I don't know how that'll help, but that's all I'm giving away!
2. Category: Entertainment
The phrase "It's not easy being green," was used in this chapter. Tell me who said it, and what TV Show they were from.
Difficulty: Easy
WORTH ONE POINT
No point divisions.
HINT: It wasn't said by a human. I guess it was, but that was just a voice-over.
3. Category: Tales of Symphonia Trivia
List the titles required for all 9 characters' alternate costumes.
Difficulty: Hard
WORTH THREE POINTS
No point divisions. It's all or nothing!
HINT: There are three costume types: Party, Swimming, and Custom. Kratos can't get a party or swimming costume.
4. Category: Music
At the MTV Movie Awards, a certain contestant from American Idol was on the red carpet interviewing movie stars as they came and went. They were representing the Tonight Show with Jay Leno. Who was this mysterious interviewer?
Difficulty: Easy/Medium
WORTH ONE POINT
No point divisions.
HINT: Her name makes me laugh.
5. Category: Video Games
The upcoming video game system from Nintendo, awkwardly named Wii, announced quite a few launch titles at E3 in May. List 5 of them.
Difficulty: Medium
WORTH TWO POINTS
I'll give you two extra points for listing ten of them! (which means if one person gives five, another person can give five different ones for full credit)
HINT: One of the games rhymes with, "Head Wheel" Another rhymes with "Fort's Snackage" Lol, sorry, that's all I can say. Sorry!
Standings:
PatrioticPuppy - 2.5
freakyanimegal456 - 1.5
Thanks for reading my atrociously long chapter! See you again soon for chapter five, which hopefully won't be very long from now! Ciao!
SOFASPUD23 :)
