Chapter Four

0600 EST
Harm and Mac's House
December 18, 2004

Mac had woken up early. She reached over to turn off her alarm clock. It had been a little over a week since she put her children on a plane for California, and she missed them dearly. There was so much that she needed to do though to get ready for the New Year. With Harm's passing, so many changes had happened all at once. Mac sat in bed listening to the song that Harm had written for her thinking about everything that had conspired in the past week.

Mac's Memory:

The day after Harm's funeral

Mac woke up early the morning and began to pack the children for their trip to California. Mackenzie was still fast asleep and so was Mattie. In the middle of the night, Mattie had suffered a nightmare and had crawled into bed with her mom. Mac was worried about Mattie and needed to talk to Frank and Trish about what she was going through.

"Trish, last night Mattie had a nightmare and crawled into bed with me."

"Harm did that after his father was shot down. He once told me he crawled into bed with me because he wanted to make sure that I was never going to go away."

"He never told me that."

"Dear, I wouldn't expect Harm to have told you much about what happened."

"Are you sure you want to take the kids to California, they can be a handful, Mackenzie hasn't been feeling well, she has a cold, Mattie has been having these nightmares . . ."

"Sarah, honey, you have so much that you have deal with, just let us spend some time with our grandchildren. We can help them through their problems." Trish answered her. "You, Sergei, Jen, are always welcomed out in California. You are family."

"Thank you Trish. I will come out as soon as I get finished with all of the business out here."

"Are you doing okay?"

"Part of me still can't believe that he is dead. I just can't figure out how to really go one without him. I feel like this is no longer my life, just a resemblance of what my life was. I don't actually believe that he is dead, but I don't want my daughters growing up the same way he did."

"When Harm Sr. went down, I felt the same exact way. People try to tell you to move on with your life, but even then it is difficult."

There was banging on the front door of the house. Sergei went to answer it.

"Hello Mrs. and Mr. O'Neil." Sergei said addressing Emily's parents. "Will you please not try to wake up the rest of the house? The children are still asleep."

"Where the hell is Sarah?"

"I will not have you upsetting her. You need to calm down before . . ."

"Aunt Mabel, Uncle Charlie, what is the meaning of this disturbance?" Mac said coming down the stairs with a screaming Mackenzie. "Sergei, can you get her bottles ready for the trip to California?"

"Yes Mac. If you need me I am in the kitchen, then after Miss Mackenzie is finished, I will go feed the horses."

"Thank you." She told him, she turned towards her relatives, a lawyer and Brennen. "Brennen, do you want to go with Sergei?"

"Yeah."

Mac looked at them, "If you will follow me to Harm's office, I believe that it is big enough to accommodate all of us, and it is sound proof so your yelling won't wake Mathilda." She led them to the office. His presence was all around the room.

"Colonel Mackenzie, you were named permanent guardian of Brennen Graves." The lawyer told her.

"What did you do to Emily that made her turn over her son to you and not to her parents?"

"I don't know. This is the first I have heard of it. May I look at this will?"

"Colonel, wills are very technical things."

"I'm a lawyer also, I believe I can handle reading a will." He handed her the will.

"As you can see, Emily also had it written saying that if you weren't willing or unable to take care of the minor, her parents were her second choice to raise Brennen."

Mac put the will down on the desk. "Where do I have to sign on the paperwork?"

"Absolutely not will you raise my grandchild. I refuse to let you raise him, you are an alcoholic!" Mabel screamed at her niece.

Mac put down the will. "Emily's last wishes were for me to raise her child if I was willing to do so, and I am. I am not going to keep you from your grandchild, but there has to be a reason."

"There is." The lawyer took out envelopes and handed them to the respected parties. Mac took her letter and opened it.

Dear Sarah,

Well if you are reading this, I wasn't able to make it home to my son, and that means the lawyer just told my parents my decision and they are fighting you on it. I know we haven't been reconnected for too terribly long, but when I was younger, I always thought of you as my sister. There were so many things that you can teach my son that my parents aren't going to be able to.

Do you remember when we were four, we made a promise to each other? I will understand if you can't take care of Brennen, if you can't then let my parents have him, but being with you would bring more of a piece to me to him.

Mac put down the letter and a tear escaped from her eyes. "Through thick and thin we were forever sisters. I will be more than willing to take care of Brennen."

Her Uncle Charlie put down their letter, "Sarah, please . . ."

"Uncle Charlie, you and Aunt Mabel will always be welcome to come and visit Brennen whenever you want to see him."

"Thank you for not taking him completely away." He told her. "We will have him ready."

"If you want to keep him through the holidays, I understand. I'll pick him up after the New Year if you want to keep him for awhile longer."

"Thank you for letting us have a little longer with him." Aunt Mabel told her. The letter seemed to have a calming effect on her. "We should tell Brennen together that he will be coming to live with you."

"I agree. I bet we can find him at the horse stables. I need to call my office to let them know I am going to be a little late today." Mac put the letter in the safe with all of the other emails she had gotten from Harm and placed a call to the office. "I need to take Trotter out today." She said making a mental note to herself. She walked down to the stables and sure enough she found Sergei, Brennen, and Mackenzie.

Mackenzie was in the snuggli bundled up inside of her Uncle's jacket petting the horses. When she saw her mother walk up she started squealing. "MAMAMAMA! HAHAHA!"

She got her out of the snuggli and held her close. "Yeah Baby, Mama's here. Brennen, honey we need to talk to you." She called to her ward.

"Yes Aunt Mac?"

"Your grandparents and I would like to talk to you." She told him.

Her uncle Charlie jumped in, "You know we love you Kiddo, right?"

"Uh huh."

"You know your Momma loved you so much, she made sure that you would be taken care of in case she couldn't come home."

"Momma lives in heaven now with Uncle Harm and Mattie's real mom." He stated as a matter of fact.

"Yes she does." Mac said sympathetically. "Brennen, your mom wanted you to come live with me if she had to go live in heaven. Would you like to live here?"

Brennen looked at her and smiled. "Yeah!"

"Brennen, your grandparents love you very much. You are going to stay with him through the holidays and then you are going to come live here. Grandma and Grandpa are going to come see you whenever we can." Mabel told her grandson.

"Kay, can I go play now?"

"Okay Bren, but not to close to the horses." She said watching him as he ran into the stable. "I have to get to work, Sergei can show you to the room that will be Brennen's. We will put him in the extra office upstairs and he will be enrolled at the daycare until I can get him in an all day preschool program."

"Sarah, if you need any help. . ." Aunt Mabel started.

"You will be the first person I call, he is your grandson." She smiled at her relatives. She kissed Brennen goodbye and they took off to spend a couple of weeks with their grandson.

Trish walked out to the stables. "The children are packed for California. I hear you are taking Brennen in."

"Nothing escapes you Trish."

"Well, what can I say, I'm getting another grandchild added to the mix."

"He really isn't your grandchild."

"He is your ward, and you are my daughter, so that makes him my grandchild. What do we always tell Mattie and Jennifer, it isn't blood that makes a family, it is love."

"I know Trish. Thank you for being so understanding about this."

"You cousin chose you to be the guardian of her son. She made the right choice, I couldn't think of a better person. Soon we will have another little child to the mix. If you need help, let me know."

"I have all the help I could ever need. I think Harm had it arranged so that at least one person would stop by everyday. I wonder whose turn it is today. Is Mattie awake?"

"Yes. I got her up, and we are ready to go."

"Okay, I will see you and the children in two weeks. I just need this time to deal with everything."

"Okay. Just call me with the flight information."

"Thank you so much for this."

"Don't even mention it anymore."

Mac stood on the porch a couple of minutes later and watched her family pull away in the Escalade. She knew that she was making the right decisions. She needed time to be alone to grieve his passing.

End Memory


1300 EST
JAG Headquarters

Mac walked into her office, sat down at her computer, and started checking her email.

She saw Deek walking out of Harm's office with a box of stuff. She got up and entered the bullpen. "Lt. Commander Smalls, what are you doing?"

"I'm clearing all the junk out of my office."

"Junk? You are calling my fiancé's possessions junk? Lock it up when I am talking to you sailor! He gave his life for this country you ungrateful . . ."

"Admiral on deck!" Jen yelled.

Mac snapped to attention. "Colonel, my office."

"Yes sir!" Mac looked at Deek, "This is not over Commander Smalls." Mac spun on her heel and followed Admiral Jonas into his office.

"Take a seat Mac." Mac sat down. "Colonel, what are you doing back at work?"

"I go where I am needed sir."

"I noticed you haven't changed his service flag yet."

"I haven't been able to take it down yet, and quite honestly sir, I am not planning on taking it down. He isn't gone. I don't feel it."

"He is gone you know, we buried him a week ago."

"The logical part of me says believe that his is gone, but my heart . . ."

"Say no more. We caught the man who sent the transmission."

"Seaman Ben Ladir-Famino." Mac spoke monotone. "I want a piece of his ass."

"You aren't the only one Colonel."

The day began to drag slowly by as Mac stared at her family picture. "Damn it Harm, I need you so much right now," she cursed. Her mind went idle and thoughts of her and Harm came flooding back and there was only one thing on her mind, Seaman Ladir-Famino. She went to the dry erase board in the conference room and wrote the name on the board. Bud walked in and began watching her work.

"Mac, look at the name," She thought to herself hearing Harm's voice soothe her.

BEN LADIR FAMINO

Bud watched Mac stare at the board muttering something to herself, and picking up a dry erase marker, she got to work.

Ben Ladir-Famino – she looked at the name over and over again. She started rearranging the letters over and over. "Son of a bitch!" She got on the phone. "Coates, I need to see the admiral now!"

"He has an opening ma'am."

Mac got up and walked into the office. "Sir, Ben Ladir-Famino, rearrange the letters of his name, I AM FOR BIN LADEN. We have to call State on this one. I am pretty sure that Ben Ladir-Famino never existed. We need to get his real name and try to crack this terrorist cell."

"I agree with you Colonel. How did you ever think to do that?"

" an ex-fighter jock, turned lawyer, turned back to fighter jock, turned back lawyer, turned into spook, then back into lawyer, and then factor in that I can read and speak several different languages, my brain never stops working. I guess this is something I do fairly well."

The admiral dismissed her. "Colonel, good work. I need to call the appropriate agencies on this."

"Sir yes sir."

She walked out of the office and went to Bud's office (Harm's old office) to tell Bud she would be needing assistance on the case. After arguing with the Admiral about Harm's office, he decided that it should go to Bud with him being at JAG headquarters longer, he deserved a bigger office.

"Bud, congratulations on the step up. I guess Commander Smalls is being shipped to your old office."

"Yes ma'am, it came as quite a shock to him. I took the liberty of keeping some of Commander Rabb's things in here. I couldn't bear to move them. His presence is still everywhere."

"I know Bud. I will take the pictures and other things of his. You shouldn't keep this office as a shrine to him."

"Ma'am, I would like to keep a picture of your family in here."

"Of course Bud, you are the children's uncle of course. Speaking of which," she said picking up the picture of her and Harm at AJ's christening, "Harm and I decided a while back that we wanted you and Harriet to be Mackenzie's godparents along with Jen and Sergei."

"It would be an honor ma'am, just let us know when and where. Thank you Ma'am."

Mac picked up a couple of the other pictures and one fell to the ground and shattered. She looked down. It was a picture of her and Harm after one day of flying Sarah. It was the straw that broke the camel's back and the tears started coming again.

Bud saw her shoulders start to tremble. "Ma'am, I can clean the broken glass."

"Bud, what am I going to do without him?"

"I don't know ma'am, I honestly don't know." He put a hand on her shoulder. "He always brought out the best in us."

"Ma'am, Sir, Seaman Ladir-Famino just hit state soil. He is asking to only speak to you Colonel. The admiral wants to see both of you now."

The made their way into the admiral's office. "Commander Roberts and Colonel Mackenzie reporting as ordered sir!"

"At ease."

"Colonel you were right on the money. Seaman Ben Ladir-Famino never existed, well the name. The service record belonged to a Seaman Alejandro Guiteriz, he died three years ago on the attack on the Pentagon, Ben Ladir-Famino assumed his service record. I still haven't figured out how that went unnoticed. He is not willing to give us any details until he speaks to you."

"Where is he being held?"

"Quantico."

"I am on my way."

"Colonel, the doctor told you that you needed to watch your stress levels."

"With all due respect sir, if I don't get in there, nothing will be accomplished."

"I thought you would say that, which is why I am ordering for Commander Roberts to go with you."

"Yes sir." Bud replied. They went down to the motor pool and claimed a car for their day and made their way to Quantico for the day.

AN - Here is a rather long posting for the week - going out of town for the next couple of weeks. Wish me luck on the job hunt!