Chuck Versus the Birthday

By Steampunk . Chuckster

Summary: Agent Bryce Larkin's puzzling attempt to look up an old college friend after he disappears with U.S. Intelligence's top secret Intersect sends Larkin's betrayed partner Agent Walker to Echo Park, Los Angeles, California as Chuck Bartowski's birthday approaches. Slight AU of the pilot.

A/N: I had a small vacation for the first time since 2019. I did not touch my computer. It felt good. Here I am, back in the real world. Posting fic. Per usual. Hope you enjoy this one.

Disclaimer: I don't own CHUCK or its characters. I'm not making money posting this.


They eventually found a dry spot a bit further away from the water where the tide wouldn't reach and they sat down side by side.

There were people he'd known for years who he couldn't sit with for almost an hour in mostly silence, at least not comfortably. He'd fill the empty space with emptier words. Trying to find a way to make the silence stop.

But for some reason, sitting here with Sarah, who he'd only known for a matter of hours, made him feel completely comfortable. Sure, they'd exchanged some words here and there. He'd told her about the last birthday he'd celebrated with both of his parents, how his mom bought him a big cake instead of making one because she wasn't much of a baker, and his dad could see his way around a computer but definitely not the kitchen. His dad bought him a little toolkit, told him he was giving him an engineering crash course. It had been the coolest present ever, but mostly, the thought of sitting on the floor of the garage with his dad, just the two of them, messing around with tools and playing with computer parts, filled him with extreme excitement.

She'd admitted that her birthdays didn't tend to pass with very much fanfare because that was how she liked it.

And as much as it made him want to know her birthday so that he could throw her a big giant party that made her feel cared about and necessary and irreplaceable, he thought about how different he was from his sister, how he tended not to like the same sorts of blow-out bashes she liked. And instead he told her he understood, without pity or misplaced sympathy.

Now she had her shoulder leaning against his, her legs crossed in front of her, not seeming to care about the sand on her black jeans she'd rolled halfway up her calf, and the sky was still just as black and starless as it had been an hour ago.

He had an urge to check his watch, but he felt like it might break a spell if he did. Or she'd notice and think he was getting bored sitting here. He wasn't. This was the best birthday he'd ever had. It wasn't a bad birthday before she dropped her phone into his fountain. It was just…a birthday. Like his other ones.

"Thank you for bringing me here," he heard her say softly then, interrupting his thoughts. He blinked his eyes open and looked at her. She was squinting out at the dark ocean, lifting her blue eyes to the moon, the light reflecting off of them in a way that left him breathless.

Chuck licked his lips and nodded slowly. "You're welcome."

"How'd you find it?"

He squirmed shyly. How did he tell her he'd stumbled on it during one of his really bad nights after coming back from Stanford? Without sounding like a massively depressed human being?

"It's, uh, probably one of the best nighttime views this part of the world offers. I mean of the Pacific Ocean from the shore, right here, this very beach. And in spite of being, ya know, Malibu, nobody's ever really here at night. It's a lesser known gem." He shrugged. "I guess it must be, I mean, since I never see anyone when I come at night."

She watched him quietly and he knew he hadn't answered her question. They both knew he hadn't, and still she waited patiently.

"After I got home from college, I wasn't in the best of…My frame of mind was…kind of not great. Various reasons, Jill being one of 'em. Not proud of it. But I got stuck in this…erm, depressive rut. Just stayed on Ellie and Awesome's couch all the time, playing video games, marathoning BSG, eating crap food. I didn't shave, like, ever. Because who cared? I wasn't going anywhere, or seeing anyone. And Ellie just snapped one day. After a couple months of this terrible state I was in, she shoved her car keys into my hand, told me to 'get my fucking shoes on and go'."

Sarah's eyes got big. He thought she must've assumed he meant Ellie had kicked him out of her apartment.

"No, no," he said, sticking a hand out. "I thought the same thing at the time though. That I was being thrown out on my ear to make it on my own. Honestly, she should've, but that wasn't what she meant. She just wanted me to get some fresh air, a change of scenery. She told me if anything happened to her car, or to me, but mostly the car," Sarah giggled and he smiled at her, "she'd kill me. She wouldn't take no for an answer, so I put on some pants and shoes, grabbed my jacket, and took her car. And I just drove. I didn't care where, I just drove all over the place. Back and forth, everywhere and nowhere. I ended up driving to the Getty, thought maybe some art would do me good…but then I decided that was stupid. I didn't wanna do that. So I got back in the car and kept driving, and I ended up on the 1. Still, I kept going because…well, once you get on that thing, there's nowhere to really…stop. I wanted to see the water, though. Thought maybe there was some healing to be had, so I found the nearest public beach and it just so happened to be this. I was totally alone out here, no one else in the lot. Perfect. So I came and, um…" He glanced around. Then up towards the abandoned lifeguard tower. "I sat just about here, almost in this same spot, that's pretty crazy! Ha! Wow. I stayed here for hours. Until early morning came, the sun rose, and I texted Ellie I was okay. I found a peaceful place to sit and watch the sun rise. Then I drove back home, and it was like…this…" He sighed. "…safe place that could be mine and only mine. 'Til now," he added softly, turning to meet her gaze.

She was watching him, rapt, the moonlight playing in her blue eyes again. And then he saw his meaning slowly dawn on her. "…'Til now?" she repeated.

"Yeah, 'til now."

Sarah nibbled on her bottom lip, ducking her head, looking down at her lap as she played with the sand between her fingers. "What's that mean?"

He shrugged, embarrassed now. Maybe he should've kept this to himself. It might sound a bit…intense. But it was too late now. He wouldn't be able to get out of telling her the truth, even if he'd been a good liar. Which he was not. "I guess it means that I've never thought to…bring anyone else here. Show them my secret beach getaway." He chuckled at himself self-deprecatingly. "I've kept it for myself all these years. Kinda silly but it's important to me."

Sarah was quiet as she glanced up at the water. And then she turned her eyes to him. "But then you took me here. Why?"

He shrugged again, shy.

"No, really. You don't take family or friends to your secret beach and then you take me, some random girl you'd never met before tonight, a girl who showed up to your birthday party a few hours ago…?"

"Never said I was brilliant," he teased. But his teasing didn't work on her the way he wanted it to. She just stared at him. "Ahem. I…" He looked back at her. "I wanted to. It just felt like something I wanted to do. Be here…with you. Someplace peaceful and…calm. Quiet."

"But why? I'm not mad about it. This is beautiful," she said softly. "I don't get why me. That's all."

He chuckled, nervous, drying his sweaty palms on his jeans as a breeze came through and played with his curls. "I don't want to seem super presumptuous, like I'm this amazingly observant person-reader or whatever…" He didn't know how to proceed, so he just sat there with a wince on his face.

"Chuck, just tell me what's in that head of yours. I promise I won't be offended or upset. I won't judge. If I do, I'm really good at hiding things so you won't even know it." She nudged him with her elbow, a cute teasing grin on her face.

Chuck snorted, smiling back at her, a little overwhelmed by how much he liked this woman already.

"Only way I can explain it is that…I've got a lot on my mind, um, pretty much all the time. It's a constant thing. My brain is just always going, stressing me out, giving me anxiety. I overthink things, I get all stuck up in here…" He pointed to his temple. "Coming here sort of muffles it. It reconnects me with…I dunno, this." He picked up a handful of sand and let it run through his fingers. "That." He pointed to the water. "All of this." He gestured around them. "It puts things into perspective. And the things that are dragging me down, the things I'm stressing about, dwelling on, seem less significant." Chuck glanced at her shyly. "I guess I was sort of getting some sort of feeling like you have things weighing on you too. I don't presume to know what," he rushed out, holding his hands up by his shoulders, seeing her arch an eyebrow. "And I don't need you to vent about it or tell me if you aren't comfortable. You just met me a few hours ago. But I thought maybe you'd like to be out here, even if it is with a guy you just met. Thought you'd get some good from this place. And knowing about it for the future. Now you can drive out here if things get overwhelming. Now you have this spot, just like I've had it for the last few years. Guess I wanted it for you. Since you pretty much…made my whole birthday. This is my gift I'm giving you in return."

Sarah's eyes became slightly wider. Her shoulders dropped, the tension seeming to seep out of her, and a slight smile tilted at the corner of her lips. "You…brought me here because you thought I might need it?"

"Yeah." He shrugged. Chuck blushed then, ducking his head. "I wouldn't have done it if I didn't like you. I won't lie, there's that too. I wouldn't take somebody I think is just okay out here to my top secret comfort beach in Malibu."

Sarah didn't laugh like he hoped she would. She merely turned to look out at the water for a long few seconds, and then she turned back again and stared squarely into his eyes.

There were no bullies, no kid in his grandpa's fedora. Nothing else was around that might stop it this time. They were blissfully alone as she leaned in close to him, bringing her opposite hand around to gently cup his jaw.

He shivered when her thumb stroked along his jawline, and he met her halfway, not stopping until his lips brushed hers.

It was a feather-light touch at first, a wisp of a kiss. He nuzzled his nose against hers, holding his breath, cupping her elbow that was connected to the hand cradling his face. She tilted her head to push her lips against his again. This time, it wasn't a wisp of a kiss. It was solid, mouths moving together.

Chuck breathed out through his nose with a desperate hum, squeezing her elbow, absolutely melting into her.

She stroked her hand from his jaw to the back of his neck and held him close against her, and they stayed that way for a minute or two. He would normally be freaking out, but something about her made him want to relinquish all of those panicked reactions to the breeze, let them be taken off to somewhere else so that he could just be in this moment.

And then she finally broke the kiss, pulling back only enough for their lips to come apart. She nuzzled him with her nose this time.

He was absolutely fucking soaring. Everything felt so new and fresh and wonderful and he had this buzzing sensation in his chest, his lips were tingling, his skin everywhere tingled. He wanted more, but he also just wanted to sit here with their faces close, her fingers stroking the hair at the nape of his neck, her body against his.

And then she pressed her lips to his one more time, as if she couldn't help it. And she pulled back just as quickly, almost as if this was forbidden or something. She immediately pulled into herself, too, drawing her hands into her lap, shoulders hunching a bit.

It was a little strange, but she was smiling too, looking out towards the moon hanging over the Pacific.

He decided not to read into her reaction. It was impolite anyway.

And instead he chuckled softly, shaking his head in awe, pulling his own hands into his lap.

"I'm just gonna say it. I'm so glad you came to my birthday party."

She let out a one syllable giggle and looked at him, her eyes bright, even as she still sat all bunched up with tension. "I'm glad too."

Chuck let himself feel relief at that.

He opened his mouth to tease that he was glad she was glad, but then something occurred to him for the first time tonight and he blinked at her with a breathy giggle. "You know what? I never asked. Who did invite you? Was it Ellie? I feel like Ellie's the likeliest culprit. No offense to Morgan but it couldn't be him, it just couldn't."

She didn't say anything, pulling her lips back between her teeth and widening her eyes. She looked supremely uncomfortable and almost sad, playing with her fingers in her lap. And then she took a deep breath and began to rub her hands up and down her pants slowly.

Chuck didn't understand why she wasn't answering.

And then he sat up straighter and gaped. No way. She wasn't… "Sarah, are you…a birthday crasher?"

She gave him a what the fuck look that was so genuine and pure that he nearly laughed. "A what?"

"Like people who aren't invited to weddings but they crash anyway for the booze and cake. A wedding crasher. But instead you crashed my birthday party… Are you a birthday party crasher, Sarah?" He could feel himself grinning in awe. "If you are, I won't be mad. I promise. I will laugh, though, because that's amazing."

Sarah didn't answer…still…just turning to watch the water, looking so uncomfortable he thought that maybe she actually had crashed his party. He'd been joking with her, but…

"Wait, are you?" he asked, turning to face her better, kicking up a bit of sand into his lap accidentally. He ignored it. "Did you actually do that? No way. No way!" He began to laugh. She seemed reticent to answer, a small smirk on her lips, and still with the strange sadness and discomfort in her blue eyes. "I'm not mad, I swear. This is freaking hilarious though," he said through his laughter. "My life… Wow."

And then she shut her eyes and sighed, ducking her chin into her chest, gripping onto her knees tightly enough that her knuckles went white.

Chuck quickly smothered his laugh. Shit. He hadn't meant to embarrass her. "Oh no. No no, I'm sorry. I'm not laughing at you. I swear. I didn't mean to make you feel bad. Please don't feel bad. I don't care at all. If you were walking by and saw a party in our courtyard and thought you'd get some free booze out of it, or you just showed up 'cause you were curious, I totally get that! Totally. Like I said, I didn't know, like, ninety percent of the people there. I'm not mad at all. I even—What? What'd I do?"

Sarah had reached out to gently grip onto his forearm to get him to stop talking, shaking her head, her features tight in pure discomfort.

"No, you didn't do anything. You haven't done anything, Chuck. I'm…pretty much certain that's the case now." He was so confused, and still she was staring down at her lap, her eyes darting a bit as if she was trying to come up with words or something. "I've never been in this situation before. All I know is that I can't continue this."

Chuck frowned, his brow furrowed. "Continue…this? What do you mean?"

"I've fucked this whole thing up, Chuck. I mean, I'm pretty sure every step I've taken since I got to LA has been wrong. But that's on me, not you." What? What was she talking about? She shook her head and finally turned to look at him. "I can't lie anymore. Not to you. You deserve the truth, come what may."

"The…truth?"

Huh?!

"Nobody invited me to your party tonight, Chuck." So she was a crasher? …Why was she so serious about it? He didn't care. He felt fucking lucky she stumbled across his party when she did. This was quickly becoming the best night of his whole life, for God's sake.

"That's okay," he said, shaking his head. "I don't care," he emphasized again.

"But I was there for a purpose," she cut in, putting emphasis of her own into her words. He was so confused, but he decided to just shut up. She pulled her hand away from his arm where it had been resting, and she pushed her hair back from her face, tucking it behind her ear. "I was sent here. To Los Angeles. I was sent for you."

What?!

Sarah took a deep, rough breath, glancing at the water, before she turned back to him, leaning in closer, looking up at him through her eyelashes. "I was sent to keep tabs on you, to watch, to learn more about you." She moved then, shifting from sitting on the sand to folding her legs under body, kneeling beside him, facing him better, her hands resting on her thighs. "We think someone who did something…bad…might try to contact you. And we feared—I feared you might be an accomplice."

"A what?!" He scooted away from her just slightly to be able to look at her better. "What are you talking about? An accomplice to who now? Someone who did something bad? Bad how? What's going on?"

"Bryce Larkin. Name ring a bell?"

"I'm sorry?" He shook himself. "Bryce Larkin. Bryce Larkin from Connecticut Bryce Larkin? Went to Stanford Bryce Larkin? Graduated cum laude and went on to be some high-powered accountant Bryce Larkin? That one? The one who stole my girlfriend and got me expelled? That one?"

Her jaw fell open. "It was him? He got you expelled?"

The way she'd just said that…as if she'd known he was expelled…sent a chill down his spine.

"Yeah. I'm pretty sure. I mean, he was the one who told Stanford officials I had test answers in my desk and they came to investigate and found them. I'm sure he planted them otherwise he wouldn't have known that. I don't know why, I never knew why, I tried to ask him and he locked me out and hid from me like a fucking coward 'til I had to climb into my sister's car to go home with all my stuff. In disgrace. If that's the same Bryce Larkin you're talking about, I can't think of a worse thing he could've done that what he did to me." Chuck kicked at the sand with his heel in frustration, glaring out at the Pacific Ocean.

"I didn't know that. It…wasn't in the dossier."

"Yeah, he didn't go around telling people about that, I'm sur—" Chuck froze. "Dossier? Like…a spy movie dossier?" He shifted to mimic her pose, climbing to his knees and facing her. "What the fuck is happening here?"

"Bryce isn't an accountant, Chuck. He never was. And I'm not some random girl who crashed your birthday party. I was sent here by the CIA to stop Bryce from transferring highly classified intel into your hands. We couldn't let you sell it to Russia or some other foreign adversary. Or people who mean the United States harm. Arms dealers, crime lords, and the like."

Horror roiled in Chuck's gut. "The…C-CIA? THE CIA? Like the Central Intelligence Agency?" She nodded, her features pinched. He let out a disbelieving huff and chuckled bitterly, shaking his head. This was utter shit. And he could feel himself getting angry now. "Listen, I don't know who put you up to this, but it's not funny. It's actually pretty shitty. But I should've known."

"What?" She shook her head. "Nothing's funny. I'm not joking."

"Right, sure. Good prank. Had me going for a few hours here now. The kiss was a pretty garbage touch, though." He felt the sting of the whole thing in his chest. Was it one of Awesome's old buddies? They give her a couple hundred to yank his chain around, and then make this whole CIA thing up, using Bryce's name to further drive the dagger into his back? How'd they even know about Bryce and what he did? There was no way Devon would've ever told anyone about it, he was positive about that. Especially not those douchebags.

This was so fucked.

Before he could get up, he found her hand on his bicep, holding him tightly, almost tight enough to hurt. He gave her an incensed look, but she was staring at him with a seriousness and sincerity that gave him pause.

"Chuck. No one put me up to anything. I am here because my superior sent me. Agent Bryce Larkin stole a massively important, crucial piece of intel from U.S. Intelligence and disappeared with it. We've been searching for him, and the Intersect, for almost two weeks. Part of our efforts included seizing his accounts, his electronic devices he didn't disable, and studying his activities before he made his move." He stared at her with wide eyes, his jaw slowly falling open. "We discovered evidence he was looking for you, so we looked for you too. I found you. Maybe tonight was the first time you met me, but I've been here for a week now, waiting for him to show up, waiting to see if he gives the Intersect to you. We thought you might be a courier or something, perhaps an old contact he knows can get the intel to someone who'll pay big money. Or maybe he's been a double agent this whole time. We don't know. But I'm here to keep you from getting that intel."

The Intersect? What kind of weird name for intel was that?

Chuck swallowed thickly, his mind going a mile a minute. He was buzzing again but for a different reason this time, a much worse reason. He decided he was utterly terrified.

"As much as it would hurt my feelings, I'm kind of still hoping this is…a prank. One of Awesome's old football asshole friends didn't…pay you or something? To freak me out?"

Sarah shook her head in frustration. "This isn't a prank, Chuck. Why would I joke about something like this? It isn't funny."

"True, true. I'm not laughing at all." He could hear his voice becoming a little more high-pitched as he climbed up to his feet. She let him this time, and it was that alone that made him realize this wasn't a joke. "And I'm not sure you ever would've come up with a name for something as stupid as Intersect…"

She let him have the space to wander a few feet away, and he began to pace. He noticed that she merely watched him, quietly.

"I don't understand. You think I'm some kind of traitor? That-that I'm in cahoots with this…CIA guy who I went to school with, like, five years ago?! I'm just a guy who works at the Buy More! I don't have—I don't even know how to—Oh my God. Jesus Christ. Are you arresting me?" He was close to fainting as he halted and spun to face her, his arms hanging limply at his sides. That's what all of this was. She was sent to bring him in. "I can't get arrested. What'll happen to Ellie?"

"Hold on. Wait a second. You're spiraling." She climbed up to her feet with him, closing the distance, taking his arm again, forcing him to look at her. "Not that I blame you. I just dropped a lot onto your head."

"Ya think?! Will you just answer my question, please?! Am I gonna be arrested?!"

"No," she said immediately, and with an appropriate amount of gravity. "No, I'm not arresting you. I've been watching you for a week, reading up on you, your background, your life up 'til now…" Oh Jesus, just how much did she know about him? And there he went spilling his guts to her earlier, when she knew all of that this whole time. He felt awful. He felt weak and angry and mortified and righteous and terrified all at once. "What we thought you might be—an accomplice, someone who's maybe taking a cut, an old friend, a confidant to a man who stole something a lot of bad, bad people would pay good money to have in their possession… You aren't any of that. I'm not afraid anymore. Not of you, not of anything you might've done. I know beyond a doubt that you aren't with him in this."

A bit of relief pricked at his chest and he took a deep breath. "What's happening? I'm feeling faint. I'm gonna faint."

"Okay. Okay, take it easy. Here. Sit." She spoke to him gently, near his ear, helping him sit back down on the sand, and she knelt beside him, rubbing his arm, leaning in close. "I'm sorry, Chuck. I was doing my job."

Of course she was doing her job. This whole time. He felt like shit. Because all of the frightening stealing-intel, Intersect, maybe-getting-arrested bullshit aside, he'd been so sure this was a new beginning, spending his birthday with a girl who made his blood rush, who made his heart hammer in his chest, who made him laugh, feel calm and safe and just…good in general. And then she'd kissed him and he'd been in the God damn clouds.

It was a lie.

Chuck looked down into his lap, the hurt finally settling in his chest. He'd been thinking all night this was too good to be true and he thought he was being such an annoying naysaying sad sack for constantly refusing to accept good things into his life…but he was right. This was all a lie. Too good to be true.

"Of course you were," he said quietly, nodding, his movements jerky and tight. This was mortifying. "This intel, the…Intersect was it?" She nodded, looking like maybe she shouldn't have revealed quite so much. "It-it's big time stuff?"

"Top secret. Only need to know…know. And…well, now you. It could get a lot of innocent people killed if it gets into the wrong hands. If the wrong people even learn it exists…"

He nodded again. He got what she was saying. And if all of this was real and not some terrible nightmare, he needed to keep his trap shut.

"Even if Bryce hadn't done all that awful shit to me at Stanford, if I didn't hate him for it, if he asked me to help him with something like this, selling a dangerous Intersect thingy to bad guys, I would never do anything that could hurt people like that. You guys gotta believe me." He gave her a pleading look.

Sarah leaned even closer, her grip on his arm tightening. "I know," she said steadily. "Oh, I know that, Chuck," she added breathily.

"This whole night was so unreal, and I let myself get lulled into a state of…I dunno, I feel so stupid," he muttered. "That whole sob story, you already read about it in my…my dossier, huh?"

"Some of it," she admitted softly. "You aren't stupid." He gave her a flat look and she winced. "Chuck, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I went to your party because I thought I could talk to some of your friends and learn more about you, maybe glean some…important bit of info about Bryce, your connection to him."

"That fountain trick was good. You drop your phone in the water…knowing Mister Hero I.T. Guy is gonna leap to the rescue to try to save it for you. Then you get in close and…" He waved his hand in the air. "Rest is history. I'm sure I was an easy target." He groaned and buried his face in his hands. "This is so mortifying. I'm such a sap."

Chuck felt Sarah's hands take his arms, one on each side of him, squeezing, and she slowly turned him towards her, forcing him to lift his eyes to hers. She looked so endlessly sad and he hated himself for wanting to comfort her.

She was just doing her job. That fucking sucked too that this was part of her job. Romancing some losery nerd who might be in cahoots with a traitor double agent, kissing him and spending these hours with him…

"You aren't a sap, Chuck. I'm the sap. Tonight was…unprecedented. You can't even begin to understand just how…unprecedented. Watching you, waiting for Bryce to make himself known, to try to transfer the intel to you…all of that was the job. I wasn't planning on going into the party tonight. I didn't even know there was one until I got to the complex. The phone in the fountain thing was an accident. That asshole knocked my phone into the fountain. You weren't supposed to even see me there."

Chuck frowned, confused. "I wasn't?"

"No." She shook her head slowly. "But then you were trying to dry it out and we were talking and I thought maybe I could find out more about you, about Stanford, where and how you met Agent Larkin." He watched her swallow hard, her eyes darting away… Did he just see a blush on her cheeks? Was it real? Or was it a ruse still? He was so emotionally confused. "But you have this…endless supply of charm you're working with, my guy." She pursed her lips and twisted them to the side. "It's very powerful." He raised his eyebrows. "You have no idea." Her blue eyes met his brown ones and she sighed. "Like I said, tonight has been…unprecedented."

"I'm confused."

"Me too," she admitted with a shrug. "But-But yeah. I'm sure you're more confused. Like, literally. Because you just found out the girl you've been having this great…birthday adventure whirlwind with is actually a CIA agent sent here to make sure you don't throw your lot in with a potential double agent who stole classified intel," she said in a rapid stream of words, making him gawk. "And while all of that is true, the rest of the stuff…was…also…"

She seemed like she didn't know how to finish that. Almost as if she was nervous for some reason he couldn't fathom.

Chuck let out a long, pained groan again and let himself tilt to the side, flopping into the sand, his forehead and nose pressing into it. "I hate Bryce Larkin so much. So so much. I mean, so much."

"Yeah, I'm not much of a fan either."

"No wonder," he said, his lips pressing into the sand. He could taste it, the griminess of it. He didn't care. Let him eat the sand. All of it. Let him just stay here buried in it. Maybe the tide would climb all the way up here and swallow him up.

Fuck.

"You wouldn't have had to get pulled away from, like, world saving shit you're involved in—'cause I can't see you doing anything less than world saving shit—if Bryce Larkin hadn't betrayed the CIA. Having to freaking babysit a giant nerd who spends his days working a pointless job for a whole-ass week."

"I wasn't babysitting you. Stop infantilizing yourself. We thought you might be preparing to sell highly classified intel to people who meant the United States harm. That's not the type of person who needs babysitting." He felt her hand on his back. "I'm sorry you were dragged into all of this. And I'm…sorry about tonight. I-I didn't mean to hurt you."

He shrugged, his face sinking ever further into the sand. "I should'a known, that's all. Like, I shouldn't have let myself ever think any of this was possible. Spending tonight with you felt like…I dunno, like I'd caught a shooting star."

Chuck could hear Sarah let out a harsh breath. And then her hands were on his arms.

"C'mon. Up. Out of the sand." She pulled him, her touch still gentle even as she emitted a lot of strength tugging his dead weight to sit up again.

She turned him to face her, a slightly amused pout on her face as she let out a one-note giggle. "Close your eyes." He did and he felt her use her fingers to brush the sand from his forehead, nose, lips, and chin. "There. Better?"

"Not really." He opened his eyes. "But thanks for getting rid of the sand." He frowned. "What now?" he asked, meeting her gaze. His chest was aching in the worst way.

She raised her eyebrow, her tongue darting out between her lips. "I don't know really."

"What happens to me? You guys gonna stick me in a bunker or something?"

Sarah shook her head vehemently. "No. You don't have to worry about that. I believe you. I know you have nothing to do with this. You aren't working with Agent Larkin."

"How are you so sure?" he asked, furrowing his brow.

"You make me sure. I…" She bit her lip, taking a deep breath. "I trust you."

"What? What've I done to make you trust me?"

"You're just…who you are, Chuck Bartowski." Sarah picked a bit of sand from his curls so tenderly, he was left breathless from awe and confusion both. "I'm sorry I lied to you. By omission, mostly. But still… It's still a lie. And I'm sorry."

"I…get it," he mumbled. "Thanks for telling me the truth before I tried to go out and pick curtains or somethin'. Heh. Definitely something I'd end up doing." He pushed his hand through his hair, ruffling it in frustration. "So you know I'm not working with Bryce… You guys gonna leave me alone?" He lifted his gaze to her face, feeling another ache. "And you'll go off to continue saving the world. And I'll never see you again, huh?"

Her eyes swam with something he couldn't place, her lips thinning as she pressed them together. "For right now, I'm not going anywhere. You aren't working with Larkin, of that I'm sure, but that doesn't mean he won't still try to reach out to you. Or…send it without giving you any kind of heads up. And I need to know about it if he does. Knowing you aren't guilty of what we feared you might be doesn't mean my job's over here."

Chuck nodded. "Oh. Right." He made a face. "But why the hell would he send it to me? Like I said, I'm not exactly friends with the guy anymore. We were tight at Stanford but then he decided to ruin my entire fucking life. Why would he think I'd ever help him with anything? He sucks!"

She seemed not to be able to help herself, letting out a light tittering giggle through her nose. "He does suck. He super sucks. But I don't know, Chuck. I don't know why he would pick you. Bryce has always been…rash. On missions, he'd just…do what he thought needed to be done, without following orders sometimes, without waiting to talk to me first and it—" She stopped and this time he knew she was blushing.

"Oh. You worked with him before, huh?"

Sarah looked supremely uncomfortable and she nodded once, not looking at him. Pointedly not meeting his gaze. "Never thought he was the type to do any of this stuff, but I was… Well, I wasn't seeing clearly at all. That much is clear to me now." She huffed.

He was starting to put things together. The way she seemed to take this personally, how someone who must've had a lot more important things to do as an agent with the CIA made it her business to come all the way out to LA to watch him for a whole week, waiting for Bryce to reappear… Maybe it wasn't just about this important intel, and maybe it was personal. Because maybe they were personal…

"Was he your partner or somethin'?" he forced himself to ask. She seemed reticent to say and his theory was solidifying, the hurt rising again. "It isn't my business, I know, but was it…more than that?"

She looked surprised for a moment, and then an impassive mask crossed over her face. Almost like a defense mechanism. Say nothing, show nothing.

But the way she went so tense told him everything he needed to know.

He ducked his head, pressing his lips together, aware of how unfair it was that he was hurting, and how much more unfair it was that he even felt a tinge of jealousy stinging in his chest too. This fucking sucked. Fuck.

"…Sorry," she said quietly, awkwardly.

Chuck found it in himself to shake his head, reaching out to wrap his hand around hers, squeezing reassuringly. "No, please don't…apologize. Please. You don't owe me an explanation, especially not an apology. That's not fair to do that to yourself. It…makes sense. I mean, it's…it's who he is. It's Bryce Larkin. You know? He's—" He stopped and sighed, looking up into her eyes as she watched him closely, her guard seeming to have dropped just slightly. "He always got the great girls."

A softness came over her features and she turned her hand in his, threading their fingers. "None of that matters. It didn't matter then either. Before it ended. It's done now. So." She cleared her throat, looking awkward and tense again.

He snorted bitterly, putting more things together in his head. "And they stuck you here with me as punishment, huh?"

"I thought so," she said with a bitter smirk. "Until I had enough time in the plane to actually read about you. And then I learned…even more about you that wasn't in the paperwork. And I dropped my phone into the fountain in your courtyard," she said with genuine amusement, tucking her hair behind her ear shyly, "and spent these hours with you, talking, learning even more, seeing who you were, what you were about." She sighed, her lips pouting. "Watching you figuratively lift a teenaged boy up onto your shoulders after making his bullies practically wet themselves." He snorted, blushing and ducking his head. "This hasn't been punishment, whether they meant for it to be or not. I'm here…Sitting here with you, watching the sun start to rise, and it isn't half bad."

He couldn't stop himself from smiling at that if he wanted to, even with how shitty all of this had made him feel. He really had been Icarus for a while tonight, flying in circles, this woman's laughter and smile, her eyes, acting as his wings. And the sun—the harsh truth—had melted said wings and he went plummeting face first into the sand again. It hurt a whole God damn lot.

"Thanks for saying that. It's sweet."

He looked away from her, back out to the sea. The sky had lightened significantly, even though the sun wasn't showing just yet.

Chuck suddenly felt the ghost of her lips against his, a phantom coming back to haunt him. And he turned to look at her profile, the way the rising light danced on her flawless features. "Sarah…?" She turned to meet his gaze, question in her face. "Why did you kiss me?"

She expelled a breath and her shoulders drooped. Pulling her bottom lip between her teeth, she shrugged one shoulder cutely. "You've gotten a lot of truth dropped on your head. Maybe you deserve a truth that's not as harsh, one that's gonna land a little more…gently."

He narrowed his eyes at her in confusion and she sniffed in amusement, glancing down at their fingers still wrapped together, shyness in her face.

When she lifted her eyes to his again, there was a steadiness in her that made him feel more steady, like his feet were planted firmly on the ground. He felt weirdly safe when she looked at him like this.

"I wanted to, Chuck."

"Wh—Uh, what?"

"I kissed you because I wanted to. I wasn't…playing a game. I wasn't trying to convince you of anything, I wasn't playing a role, or lying, or…faking anything. I kissed you because I wanted to." He wasn't sure what to say. All he knew was that he believed her. She didn't break his gaze for a moment. "I didn't tell you the truth about who I was or why I was at your party tonight, but…everything else was true. I told you real things I've never told anyone else. I danced with you. I…had more fun than I should've been having. All of this was shit I shouldn't have done. Including the kiss. I shouldn't have kissed you." She took a deep, shaky breath. "It was a mistake, Chuck." Ouch. He felt his features crumble. "I didn't say I regret it." He froze, carefully lifting his gaze back to hers. She was smiling, so steady once again. "Sometimes you make mistakes you don't regret. This night? How much fun I had, the way you made me laugh tonight more than I have the rest of my life put together…that kiss? All of it was a mistake, and I regret none of it. I don't know what happens next. I don't know what the hell to do about any of this, because we're going to catch Bryce, we're going to get the Intersect back," she said pointedly. She swallowed hard again. "And I'm going to go back to D.C., back to Langley, to figure out what my next mission is. I don't know what that'll mean, or… God, I don't fucking know, Chuck. But I'm going to remember tonight. I'm going to remember you."

Chuck Bartowski didn't think twice. He let her words fill his chest, and he didn't wonder about "what might happen next", and instead he thought about what he wanted right in this moment. Mistake or not, he knew he wasn't going to regret leaning in, tenderly tucking her hair behind her ear as a passing breeze pushed it into her face…and pressing his lips to hers. So he did it. He did it all.

And she kissed him back immediately. Her arms lifted and wrapped around his shoulders, tugging him in closer. He rested his arms at the small of her back, holding her, letting himself get lost in her kiss.

}o{

His shoulder was sturdy under her cheek as she leaned her weight into him, keeping her eyes on the Pacific horizon as the sun rose up from the hills behind them, watching the sky growing lighter, the tide slowly receding.

She felt him stroke the back of her hand with his thumb and she smiled to herself. This wasn't even close to what she expected a week ago as she left Graham's office in Langley, the thick dossier of Charles Bartowski tucked under her arm.

And she didn't care.

She'd been utterly mad to tell him the truth. All of it.

And it felt so fucking good, she was overwhelmed by how good.

Because it had felt so good to tell him she was in the CIA, that Bryce was in the CIA, everything that brought her here, and the truth in every touch, and nearly every word she'd told him in the last few hours, Sarah had gone on to tell him about the bugs.

He hadn't been as understanding about those. She didn't blame him for it. It was a breach of his privacy, and of his trust. She'd apologized profusely, admitting it was what she'd always done in similar situations, on other missions like this one. And he'd finally sat back down from where he'd jumped up to pace angrily, a thundercloud in his handsome face.

She let him feel what he deserved to feel, and they eventually folded themselves together like this.

She would take care of it when they got back to his apartment. She promised herself that much. The bugs would be gone.

"A spy," he said quietly, interrupting the comfortable silence. "You're a spy. That's pretty nuts."

"For me, it's just life," she responded.

What was nuts was how she'd told him everything and he'd reacted with understandable confusion, then anger that he was being pranked, and finally a certain heartbreak that had made her own heart feel like it had splintered into pieces…and he'd ended it all in this peaceful, thoughtful place of understanding. He hadn't blamed her for her partnership with Bryce, or her…relationship or whatever it was that she'd had with him on top of the partnership.

Chuck was real, though.

He wasn't acting, he wasn't playing a part to fool a spy. She wouldn't be finding a knife in her back, not with his hand on the hilt anyway. She told him she trusted him, and she did. More than she'd ever trusted anyone. It was ridiculous, probably extremely foolish, and it was the truth.

There was a powerful current here, and she couldn't, and didn't want to, put a stop to it.

Come what may.

"You ever wear a catsuit?" She pulled her head back and gave him a look. "That's-That's not important. Sorry."

She snorted and put her head back on his shoulder. "Nerd."

"Hell yeah."

Sarah giggled, squeezing his hand. "There are a lot of inexplicable things in this world, but to be honest, I can't think of anything more inexplicable than this. Whatever the hell this night was."

"Uhhh, it was my birthday," he teased.

She laughed. "It was your birthday. I'd almost forgotten."

"If I had a nickel…"

"Oh shut up." She nudged him, giving him a side-eye, propping her chin on his shoulder. "This has been the craziest…" She glanced at her watch. "…ten hours of my life."

"Me too!" he exclaimed, chuckling. "Holy shit, me too. And you're right. This was an inexplicable thing. That happened to us. I mean, the last ten hours. All of it. But man, I gotta say. Even in the worst parts of my life, like after Stanford happened, all that shit, knowing my future had been utterly…fucked… In the lowest of the low moments I've experienced, life still had meaning and value because of all of the inexplicable things that exist out there."

"Oh yeah?" she asked, unable to keep her eyes off of him. This man's brain, and his heart—especially his heart—worked in such a wondrous way. The things he thought and felt and said without even an ounce of pause.

Chuck nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, life is so mad, ya know? A rollercoaster. Like, take me. This time yesterday, I was asleep, a few hours from a half-shift at the Buy More. And now I'm sitting on the beach in Malibu with…you. A spy. A woman who is…also inexplicable." He moved his free hand to tuck her hair behind her ear again and she decided she'd never tire of how it made her feel when he did that. He could do it another million times and she'd melt every time. "The way the red sky looks reflecting in the blue pools of your eyes." He stopped, narrowing his eyes dubiously. "I tried. Regular Keats, huh? Jesus."

Sarah giggled happily, remembering the way he'd teased Morgan about Keats the other day. He was "inexplicably" adorable. "I got what you were trying for and it's sweet."

"Thanks," he said with a snort, shaking his head self-deprecatingly. "That." He pointed out at the water. "Can't explain that, out there. The ocean. How the light looks against it. Everything that lives underneath it. Love."

She blinked, turning her head just slightly, eyeing him carefully. She decided not to respond.

"Like, that's one thing nobody's ever been able to figure out. They can study the quickening of someone's pulse, the hitch in a person's breathing, all that stuff. But what is it that does that? Some…chemical thing? Nobody knows, nobody has proven anything." He shook his head. "That's because it isn't a chemical thing. That guy's chemicals mix perfectly with the other guy's and voila, they're in love… or ya know, my sister and her boyfriend. What they have isn't…chemicals, that's weird." She hummed in amusement. "Know what I think?"

"What do you think?" she asked, playing along because it didn't seem like he was trying to apply this conversation to anything, rather than just discussing the topic in general.

"I think it's magic," he said as though he'd never been more sure of anything in life.

He lifted his hands and made a fireworks type of sound with his mouth, fanning out his wide open hands.

She didn't mean for him to catch her dubious look as she giggled.

"What? You don't believe in magic?"

Sarah bit her lip. "I haven't led a life that's allowed for much…magic. Or fantasy. You get lost in something like that in the wrong moment and you end up another empty badge sleeve on the boss's desk to pass on to the next rookie coming out of the Farm."

Chuck winced. "Oh. Right. I get it. That actually makes a lot of sense."

"That's the job. Making sense where there isn't any. It's part of it at least."

"Do you like it?"

She was surprised by that question and she let him see her surprise unguarded. "My…job?"

"Yeah."

Sarah sighed. "A lot of the time, I…don't." Damn. The truth again. She squirmed in discomfort. "It's hard. Not-Not just like that. I mean, I have to do things that don't…feel good, or right...sometimes. Like planting bugs in your room, that didn't really feel all that great. Lying to you, that felt pretty terrible. Which, I guess, is why telling you the truth felt so fucking great."

He smiled warmly at her. And then it dimmed. "Telling the truth probably isn't something you get to do a lot, is it?"

"Almost never. I shouldn't have done it in this case either, but I…couldn't lie to you anymore. It felt worse than the rest of the lies I've told put together. You haven't done anything to deserve any of this."

He nodded. "I'm sorry you're in this job you don't like, Sarah."

She shook her head. "Don't be. It's where I belong. And I'm really, really good at it."

Chuck grinned. "Oh yeah?" he asked, a hint of flirtation there. That felt really good too and she grinned back at him, nodding. "I believe that. You seem like the type of person who is insanely good at everything you do."

She nudged his thigh with their hands threaded together and smiled shyly. "Thanks."

"The CIA, they a tough boss?"

"Toughest. They don't leave much room for stepping wrong. Case in point, I have no idea what they'd do if they knew I was sitting here with you having told you everything."

"Oh. Shit. Well… They aren't gonna learn it from me."

Sarah had to laugh. "You are so cute," she hummed, leaning in to kiss his jaw, watching him blush, melting against his side. "I trust you. That's why I told you in the first place."

He nodded. "Thank you for trusting me."

"I wouldn't have trusted you if you weren't so trustworthy."

Chuck smiled in amusement.

And she watched as the smile dimmed again. "I know you trust me. That you believe I have nothing to do with Bryce and…haven't since we were in college. But are they going to trust me? Will they believe me?"

Sarah worked her jaw, looking away as she mulled his words over. Because she didn't know.

"I don't know if they will or not, but I'm going to do everything I can to make them. This Agent Larkin shit is a bit of a dark spot on my record, the fact that I didn't catch him or see it coming. They won't say it but I know it is—"

"That isn't fair."

"I know but it's the truth. They aren't always fair. And sometimes they're right not to be." She shrugged because that was just how it was. "But usually they know I'm a good agent, one of their best, and I wouldn't purposely steer them wrong. They know that. My…direct superior knows it, at least."

…She was pretty sure.

"Oh…" He looked worried, and she wanted to rid him of it.

"Chuck, I'm not letting them touch you. They won't come anywhere near you, not while I'm here, and not after I…leave." Why'd she feel like she was choking when she said that last part. "I'll keep you safe and out of this mess. Trust me."

"I do trust you," he said almost eagerly. And God, it made her feel weightless.

They folded themselves together again, the calming warmth of the sun at her back as it came into view, and she turned her face just enough to catch his lips in another kiss.

They stayed that way for some time, and she let herself just be in the moment, knowing that before the sun got too high, they'd have to leave again, and she'd have to take him back to his apartment, back to real life.

They'd have to leave this sanctuary of a beach behind.

Until then, she settled against him and enjoyed his kiss.


A/N: Please review. Thanks!

-SC