Disclaimer: Square Enix and Disney own the characters and worlds featured. I'm just borrowing them (apparently I cannot 'buy' the Kingdom Hearts universe, ratsifratchit….).

Notes: Credit to Omni-Master for Aerith and Tifa's actions…


The Radiant Garden Tourism Committee

Chapter Thirteen: Merry

"Woo-hoo! We didn't die!" Yuffie jumped about excitedly on the freshly fallen snow.

Paine, now wearing a bright red coat, groaned. "Don't you realize that we never seem to get killed by anything?"

The committee chair stopped her celebration, her eyes wide with realization. "You're right… I AM A NINJA GOD! Er,Goddess." She continued to mumble, a bell jingling as she moved. Her trademark ninja clothing gone, replaced by a green elf-suit.

"Ho ho ho, Yuffie! Always child-like!" The committee turned in a single movement towards the man.

Yuna raised an eyebrow towards the committee chair. "Friend of yours?"

"I think I'd remember a fat man in a red suit…"

Rikku waved her arms wildly as she flew towards the stranger. "Santie Claus! I wanna pony, a kitty, a buncha treasure…"


Aerith breathed heavily as she lay across Tifa. "Give… up?"

"Nev…er… Cloud's… mine…" Tifa groaned as she attempted to help her rival off. Her pink dress had several rips in it. With the last ounce of strength, Tifa lifted herself into a sitting position.

Aerith continued to lie on her back. "Maybe…… we should… just ask him."

"Wan… na steal… Cid's… gummi…… ship?"


"Ho ho ho… Well, I could use a vacation, but there's too much work here that needs to be done."

The committee all frowned at Santa Claus. Yuffie rubbed a hand against her side. "What are we gonna have to do?"

The round man lifted his red cap and revealed a rolled parchment beneath. "This is my 'to do list'." He began to unravel the paper, and all members of the Radiant Garden Tourism Committee filled with dread.

"How long is that thing?"

"Oh, two or three hundred meters… Ho ho ho!"

"… Kill me now."


"Let me drive!"

"No! I have more experience…"

"Fine!" Aerith sat in the passenger seat, a pout upon her face.


Yuffie carried another pile of presents towards Santa Claus's living room. Yuna and Rikku decorated the Christmas Tree while Paine drank eggnog.

Santa Claus—evil slave driver—sat in his comfy chair, a jolly smile on his lips. The ninja dropped the presents beside him, and wiped sweat from her brow. "That's the last of it!"

"Ho ho ho! Splendid job!"

Paine finished off the remainder of her drink. "So, we can leave now?"

"Ho ho ho! You four should see if Jack and the rest of Halloween Town want to go too!"

A sinister smile spread across the pewter-haired fairy. "Halloween, huh?


Cid stared at the empty space in his gummi ship hanger. He dropped onto his knees and threw his arms up into the air. "WHY?"
Yes, I am insane. But, I'd still like to hear what you guys/ gals think about this… Would you call it a plot?

Aww, reviewers! Blue Jae, Selunchen123, Anime-Cat123, nightmare car, Omni-Master, Happy Mooing Octopus, and SilverKitsune013 deserve cookies.