Chapter Eighteen:
1100 EST
1395 Kalmia Drive
Christmas Eve
Harm sat on the couch watching Mackenzie gaze intently at the Christmas tree, pointing at the lights, Mattie was putting up the mistletoe, and Harm had warned the two teenagers that under no uncertain circumstances where they to stand underneath it all night.
Mac came and sat on the arm of the chair. "What are you thinking about Flyboy?"
"I can't believe that I lost my memories of my children. Look at them, smiling, happy." He sighed. "I wouldn't have seen any of it."
"Don't think like that darling." His mother said putting a hand on his forehead, mothering him. "Your father made sure that you wouldn't miss out on your children's lives like he had to miss out on yours. That is why you came out of your coma so quickly, and back to us, on this holiday." Harm smiled at his mother. She continued. "I lost my husband, but at least I got my son back. It is the best present I have ever gotten."
"I have to agree with you on that one Grams." Mattie said smiling. She gave Max a hug. Max had came over early to help decorate, and of course to spend some time with Mattie. He smiled.
Harm went to get up when he heard four voices yelling for him to sit down. "Guys, I have been sitting around forever, and have been lying down forever. I have to get up, I have to feel free, don't worry."
Mac helped him up, looking at everyone sending them a signal that she could help him get through the nightmares that had been plaguing his mind. She looped her arm around his waist and led him to the sunroom.
"Okay, is that better to be in the sun, near the windows?"
"Yeah." He sighed.
"You nightmares were pretty bad last night darling."
"I'm sorry if I woke you up. You need the sleep for the baby."
"Hey, it's not like I hadn't woken you up with a nightmare. Do you want to talk about it?"
Harm sighed and shook his head no. He made his way over to the wicker couch and propped himself up against it. He stared out into snow, and saw the horses in the riding ring. Sergei must have let the horses out.
"I killed Emily." He sighed. "I remembered that last night. I tried to get to her, Mac, I swear, when I saw her get killed, I thought it was you. At that moment, I felt like my life had ended, because of the love of my life was gone. Then, when I realized it was Emily, I grieved, but was elated it wasn't you."
"You didn't kill Emily." She reasoned with him.
"I couldn't get to her in time, I swear to you, I tried. I wanted you to have the family that you should have always had. Emily and Brennen were the two people in your family you could count on."
"Emily will always live on through Brennen, and we will see her grow in him. Harm, I didn't know how to tell you, but we have a ward coming to live with us January 2."
Harm took a deep breath. "She never wanted him to be raised by her parents. I'm glad I can do this for her." He said with a faint smile, but the smile quickly faded.
"Harm, what can you remember from your experience?"
"Not much. It was a dark hole, they would alternate between keeping me in a cell type area, sometimes throwing me into a hole. I lost track of time."
"Its okay baby. I am so sorry I wasn't there for you."
"I was glad you weren't there for me. I know that both of us have been tortured before, me mentally, you, a little bit of both. But this was beyond any experience. God Mac, they would put their cigarettes out on my back."
Mac ran her hand over Harm's back, and then ran her fingers through his hair. "I didn't hurt you did I?"
"Your touch helps heal the scars." He told her. His eyes conveyed the sadness of the world seemed to be begging for her to reach out to him. "Mac, I need you." Mac melted into him.
"Let's not talk about darkness right now. I'm here, and together, nothing can hurt. Let me be your lighthouse, guiding you home. My words will calm you, help you find peace, just like you were there for me in my darkest hour. We will get through this. Let me stand beside you and help you through it."
"I love you."
"That's all I ask in return. That is what partners do forever. I love you too."
Mac helped him settle on the couch in the sunroom, and she draped a blanket over him. She held him until he fell asleep. Mattie sat a couple of feet away, sighing.
"Those are my parents, forever romantic, even in some of their darkest moments." She whispered to her grandparents and Max.
Frank smiled, "This family is strong and will lead each other back into the light."
"We have been through dark times before, with his father going missing today," Trish said.
Sergei looked at them, "Then why don't we add some light to help make it through the dark times?" He pointed to the lights that had accumulated in the boxes. They had put up lights on the tree and the banister out side.
Trish smiled. "Lets turn this house into a winter wonderland with lots of lights."
1400 EST
1395 Kalmia Drive
Harm and Mac' House
Mac woke up with a familiar arm around her. She had fallen asleep on the couch in the sunroom with Harm. They had fallen asleep together. Sergei had woken her up while changing Harm's IV bag again.
"Mac, the doctor will be coming in an hour to check on him."
"Thanks Sergei." Mac untangled herself from Harm's embrace. She tucked him back in. "I think this is the most peaceful I have seen him sleep."
"I think it is the most peaceful I have ever seen you sleep."
"That is what you two deserve, peace Ma'am." Mac spun around and saw Jen standing there with a cup of herbal tea. "Mattie has been working really hard to surprise you and Harm. Let's just say, it was a stroke of genius on your soon to be mother-in-law."
"I am sure Harm will love it." Mac said, looking around at the house. Mattie had transformed it into an Elysian dream.
TBC
