Chapter Nineteen

Two-Bit

I woke up at around noon.

Savannah was sitting next to me. I was thirsty; I tapped Savannah on the shoulder to get her attention. She jumped, and then she saw that I was awake.

"Hey," she said. "Are you Ok?"

"I'm thirsty," I croaked. My throat was dry.

"OK," Savannah said. "I'll be right back."

Savannah left the room, and I laid back against my pillows. I felt a lot better after crying; it was like a huge weight had been taken off my chest.

I had another dream about Johnny last night. He was sitting next to me. I could see tear stains on my face, and I was sniffing a lot, like I'd been crying. Johnny was shaking his head and sort of laughing at me.

"What?" I asked him.

"Nothing," Johnny said. Then after a few seconds he said, "You're way too hard on yourself."

"Huh?" I asked.

"You didn't do anything," Johnny said. "So stop beating yourself up."

"But you told me that I killed you," I said. "I had all those nightmares about you telling me that I killed you."

Johnny shook his head. "You're crazy," he said. "You didn't do anything, so stop worrying about it."

We were quiet for a long time, then Johnny said "So, do you believe me? You didn't do anything."

"Yeah," I said. "Savannah said that too."

"Yeah," Johnny said. He smiled, "Her, she likes you."

"I know," I said.

"Well, if you believe me, then I'll be going," Johnny said. "Oh, and Ponyboy and Dally say hi."

"Tell them I miss them," I said.

"I will," Johnny said. He was starting to disappear. "Bye Two-Bit."

"Bye," I said. I realized that I was talking to thin air, Johnny was gone. Then I woke up.

I came back to reality. I could hear footsteps coming down the hallway. I opened my eyes and looked up. Savannah was there, holding a glass of Pepsi. Soda and Steve were standing in the doorway. Savannah handed me the Pepsi.

"Steve and Soda are here to see you," Savannah said. "Do you want to talk to them?"

I nodded. Savannah nodded at Steve and Soda, and they came into the room.

"Hey buddy," Soda said.

"Hey," I replied.

We were quiet for a while, and then Soda said "So…what was wrong with you yesterday? Are you Ok?"

I didn't want to tell Soda and Steve the whole story of why I was so depressed, at least not yet, so I didn't say much.

"I was upset about some stuff," I said. "I had to get it off my chest."

"What was bothering you?" Soda asked.

I didn't answer him, I didn't want to.

"We're just worried about you," Soda said.

"I felt guilty," I said.

"About what?" Soda asked.

"Johnny, and Dally, and Pony," I said, pausing for a long time after each of their names.

"What?" Steve asked.

"I…I felt responsible because they died," I said softly.

"Why?" Steve asked.

I was getting sick of Soda and Steve asking me questions. They were asking me questions that I wasn't ready to answer, at least not to them. Savannah was sitting next to me. I leaned my head against her shoulder and closed my eyes.

"Look," I said. "I have a headache. Just…come back tomorrow. I'll talk to you then."

My eyes were still closed, but I could tell that Soda and Steve weren't leaving.

"You don't have a headache," Soda said.

It was true, I didn't have a headache, but I wanted them to go away. "Yes I do," I lied. "I have a really bad headache."

"Yeah right," Steve said, "Soda, we're late for work. Let's go."

Then Soda and Steve left. I know that they're my friends, but I didn't want to talk to them. I just wanted Savannah.

"Do you really have a headache?" Savannah asked.

I was thinking about saying yes, just to get her to feel sorry for me, but I didn't. "No," I said. "I don't have a headache. I just wanted them to go away. I wasn't ready to talk to them yet."

Savannah pulled me closer to her and started stroking my hair. "That's fine," she said. "You don't have to talk to them."

I sat next to Savannah, just enjoying the closeness. I was finally feeling better. I realized that this was probably the only time that Savannah and I had been together and I hadn't been helpless because I was sick, or so depressed that I was about to cry, or sobbing my eyes out. I remembered what Johnny had said in my dream "she likes you". My head was on Savannah's shoulder, I moved it a little. I sat still for a minute, deciding if I should do what I wanted to do or not. I finally decided on yes, and I gently kissed Savannah. She looked at me and smiled.

"What was that for?" she asked. She was half laughing.

"For being wonderful," I said.

Savannah kissed my forehead. "Go back to sleep," she said. "You're imagining things because you're so tired."

"'Not tired," I said, even though I was. "You really are wonderful."

"Ok, baby," Savannah said. "Whatever you say."

Soda

Steve was really mad.

He was stalking around the DX, snapping at all the customers that asked him for help. He kicked three cars and almost dented them. Now the boss is talking to him. I hope he doesn't get fired.

I was taking a break, drinking a can of Coke when Steve came up to me.

"Hey," he said as he sat down next to me.

"Hey," I said. "What did the boss do to you?"

"Nothing," Steve said. "He just told me to take the rest of the day off, he didn't want me to ruin any of the cars or scare away the customers."

I nodded and took another drink from my Coke.

"Two-Bit has gotten really annoying," Steve continued. "I know he was sick, but what was up with him crying yesterday? And then he didn't want to talk to us today, he could have just said so. But no, he lied to us, pretended that he had a headache. It just makes me mad."

"I dunno," I said. "Maybe he's still sick."

"He's been sick for more than three weeks," Steve said. "He's fine; he just doesn't want to see us."

"I'm going back to his house after work," I said. "Maybe he'll talk to me then. Do you want to come?"

Steve stood up. "No," he said flatly. He started walking away and he lit a cigarette. "I'll see you later," he said.

I stood up and started walking over to a car that had just pulled in. It was going to be a long day without Steve there to help. Maybe the boss would close early; then I would get to see Two-Bit sooner.

I wonder what's wrong with him.