Disclaimer: I do not own ER or any of the characters except for Regan and James. If I did own ER, Susan and Chuck would get a lot more screen time than they have in the past couple of seasons! I also made up the names of the two colleges mentioned in this story.
On a quiet autumn night, Regan and Susan were both seated on the sofa, their legs resting on the coffee table. Both looked bored stiff.
"Is Coop working tonight?" Susan asked.
"A double shift," Regan replied. "Damn Weaver."
Susan chuckled softly. "She is a real piece of work, isn't she?"
"Don't get me started," Regan said. "Everything you've said about her is true."
"I wasn't exaggerating," Susan said with another soft giggle. "Since we're both stuck at home, why not do something? Chuck's at work and Katie's sound asleep."
Regan sat up and crossed her legs Indian-style. "What do you want to do?" she asked.
"We could watch a movie," Susan suggested.
"Hmm, I'm not sure I'm in the mood for a movie," Regan answered. "Want to raid the fridge?"
"No," Susan said. "I'm trying to shed some of the pregnancy pounds."
"You look great!" Regan said, then paused. "We could…talk."
"Talk about what?" Susan asked as she crossed her legs and faced her daughter.
"My um…you know, father…James," Regan stammered. Susan smiled. "What is it?"
"I've been waiting for you to ask about him," Susan admitted.
"Well, I didn't want to discuss meeting him until you had Katie," Regan began. "And then, well, having a new baby is just so much work, and I didn't want to bother you then." Regan tucked a strand of dark blonde hair behind her ear and played with her hands. "And I was scared."
"Of what, sweetie?" Susan asked.
"A lot of things," Regan admitted. "How you'd feel about discussing James, for starters. I don't know if it would be painful for you to talk about the past."
"It's okay, Regan," Susan said. "I want to be able to answer your questions"
"I know you do," Regan replied. "Are you sure that James would even want me to contact him?"
"Regan, of course he does," Susan said. "I waited for so long to finally see you again. I can't imagine that James doesn't feel the same way."
"Do you have his phone number?" Regan asked, a look of hope across her face. Susan nodded, rose from the sofa, and walked to a nearby desk. She took out a phone book and opened it.
"Would you like me to call him?" she asked. Regan's face turned pale. "Are you all right?"
"What if he's married with his own family now? Maybe he wouldn't want me," Regan argued.
"He's not like that," Susan insisted. "When I saw him on the El, he was very disappointed that I hadn't been in touch with you."
"But that was two years ago," Regan replied. "A lot can happen then. You didn't even know Chuck two years ago, and now you're married with a baby!"
Susan closed the phone book and sat on the sofa next to Regan. "Sweetie, I know you're scared. It's natural. But you won't know what a relationship with James would be like until you make that first step." Susan pushed a strand of Regan's hair behind her ear and smiled at her daughter. "I'm not going to force you to call him. You can do it when you're ready."
Regan stared out into space for a moment, then turned to Susan. "Will you talk to him first?"
Susan smiled and answered, "Of course." She reached for the phone and dialed. Regan began to play with her hair, something she did when she was nervous. A voice came on to the other end of the phone.
"Hello?" James answered.
Susan looked at Regan. "James?"
"Yes, this is James. Who's calling?" he asked.
Susan took Regan's hand. "James, this is Susan Lewis," she said.
"Susan!" James replied, the surprise evident in his voice. "How are you?"
"I'm great," Susan said. "And yourself?"
"Good, I'm good," James answered. "How are you? It's been a couple of years since I last saw you."
"Very well," Susan said. "I got married, and we had a baby girl a couple of months ago."
James was silent for a moment. "Congratulations," he said softly.
"Thank you," Susan replied quietly.
"I think about her every day - our daughter, I mean," James admitted. "I wonder where she is, if she's happy and healthy, what she likes, everything."
"I have some good news for you then," Susan answered.
"You've located her?" James sat up in his chair.
"She's sitting right here next to me," Susan said, and smiled at Regan. "Would you like to speak to her? Her name is Regan." Regan's face lost color and she looked incredibly nervous. Susan patted her hand to comfort her.
"Yes, I would, very much. Thank you," James said, still shocked by the news. Susan handed the phone to Regan, who took it with shaking hands. "Hello?" she began.
"Hi, Regan," James began. "How are you?"
"Kind of nervous," Regan admitted with an uneasy laugh.
"So am I," James confessed. "When did you get in touch with Susan?"
Regan bit her lower lip before she answered, "A few months ago. She was pregnant when I first met her and I didn't want to cause her any stress, so I waited until after Katie - my little sister - was born to ask her about meeting you. I'm sorry I took so long," she finished apologetically.
"It's okay," James replied. "I'm glad you called me."
"Me, too," Regan responded. Suddenly she felt calmer and added, "I'd like to meet you."
"I'd like that very much," James said, taken aback slightly. "When would you like to meet?"
"This weekend?" Regan asked hesitantly. "There's a good café on Midland that makes the best coffee in Chicago."
"Ahh, you've inherited my love for coffee," James said, and both he and Regan laughed. "And I know just the place - Café Matisse?"
"That's the place," Regan said, more excited at the prospect of meeting James. "How about tomorrow at 2?"
"It's a date," James said. "And bring Susan along," he added with a laugh.
"I can't wait to meet you," Regan admitted.
"I'll see you tomorrow," James said softly, and he and Regan hung up their phones. Regan turned to Susan, her eyes wide and a big grin across her face.
"That went well," Susan remarked. Regan stood up and began to pace. "What's wrong?"
"What am I going to wear!" Regan cried. Susan stood and put her arm around Regan and guided her to the stairs.
"I'll take care of that," she said as the two walked up to Regan's bedroom.
The next day, Susan pulled her car up to the curb. She turned and looked at Regan, who was very nervous.
"It's going to be all right," Susan assured her daughter. Regan's already pale face showed a mixture of emotions.
"Do you think he's here already?" she asked in a quiet voice.
"There's only one way to find out," Susan replied as she took off her seat belt. "Ready?" Regan looked at her mother and nodded. "Let's go." Susan opened the door and walked around to Regan's side of the car. Regan slowly opened the door and climbed out of the car. She quietly took Susan's hand.
"Will you hold my hand?" she asked in a small voice. Susan rubbed her daughter's hand and smiled. "Thanks."
"You're welcome," Susan said. The pair checked for oncoming traffic and then crossed the street. They entered Café Matisse and looked around.
"This is a nice place," Regan commented, the anxiety still evident in her voice.
"You could tell Nick about it," Susan answered. "It'd be a fun place for a date." Regan shook her head in response as Susan scanned the crowd. "Sweetie, he's here." Regan tightened her grip on Susan's hand. "Ouch, sweetie, Mom's going to need that hand someday."
"I'm sorry," Regan stammered. "I guess we should go over, right?"
"I think that's a good idea," Susan replied. Still holding Regan's hand, Susan made her way over to James' table. "Hey there, stranger," she said softly. James stood and hugged Susan tightly.
"It's so good to see you!" he said, a broad smile across his face. "You look incredible."
"Thanks," Susan said. "You look pretty incredible yourself." She noticed that James had turned his focus completely onto Regan. "And speaking of pretty incredible, this is Regan."
"It's nice to meet you," Regan said quietly and extended her hand.
James smiled at his grown daughter. "It's really nice to meet you too," he said, and shook her hand. Not wanting to rush Regan into any forced hugs, he pulled a chair out from the table for each of the ladies. "Have a seat, please."
"Thank you," Susan said, as she and Regan sat next to each other. Susan took note that James and Regan were still keeping their eyes on the other, perhaps each sizing up the other. "So, James, are you still teaching?"
"Yes," James replied, thankful for a break in the silence.
"What do you teach?" Regan inquired.
"I'm a history professor at Hamilton College," he replied. "It's a small school about 20 minutes outside of Chicago."
"I've heard of it," Regan replied. "I'm a junior at Summerfield College. It's also a small school, right in Oak Park."
"What's your major?" James asked, happy that the conversation had begun to somewhat flow.
"Physical therapy," Regan answered, then smiled. "It's funny, I didn't know Susan was a doctor until a couple of years ago, and I've always wanted to go into the medical field."
"So you're very smart, just like your mom," James commented, the smile not having left his face since seeing Susan and Regan.
"I guess," Regan said shyly.
"She's been on the Dean's List every semester since her freshman year," Susan proudly reported.
"I knew it, another brilliant Lewis woman," James said. A waitress appeared and took their order, and then left the threesome to catch up.
"Does your family live in Chicago, James?" Regan asked.
"They did, until last year, and then my parents escaped the windy city for the warmth of Florida," James replied.
"Oh," Regan said, somewhat disappointed that her paternal grandparents didn't live close by.
"However, they would love to meet you someday soon," James reported. "I talked to them last night about our meeting today and they want to fly up soon and meet their granddaughter."
"Really?" Regan asked, surprised yet happy that her extended family wanted to meet her.
"Yes, really," James answered. His tone turned serious as he looked at Susan, then Regan. "Listen, Regan, I don't know what you've been told over the years, but your mom and I always wanted to keep you. But we were two seventeen-year-olds who were scared and didn't think it would be best for you to be raised by a couple of kids. Not a day went by that I didn't think about you, or love you, or pray for you." He took Regan's hand into his own, and she felt tears form in her eyes. "I want you to know that."
"Thank you," Regan said, and reached over to hug James. Surprised, James returned the hug and smoothed Regan's hair.
"I love you, kiddo," he said. "And I want to be a part of your life. I want us to be as close as you and your mom are."
Susan picked up her napkin and dabbed at her eyes. The meeting was going as well as she had always dreamt.
Four hours later, the trio exited Café Matisse, all smiles on their faces.
"That was the best coffee I've ever had," Regan announced. James smiled at his daughter.
"I'm so glad that you've inherited my love for coffee," he said, then laughed.
"So you have my cell phone number and e-mail address, and I have all your information," Regan said, as though she were talking to an old friend. "And we'll have to get together and try out that new Italian place on Greenfield."
"Absolutely," James replied. "And I'll bring the new Grisham book. I think you'll love it."
"Thanks!" Regan said excitedly. "I can't wait to read it." She turned to Susan. "You were right, this was a lot of fun."
"You doubted your mother?" Susan asked in fake astonishment.
"I'll never do it again," Regan said, and pretended to cross her heart.
James hugged Regan and kissed her on the head. "And of course, I want to meet this boyfriend," he began.
"You'll like him," Regan replied. "I do."
"A lot," Susan teased, and Regan blushed. "He's a good guy, and he's crazy about Regan."
"Who wouldn't be?" James commented. Regan blushed more and James laughed.
"Okay, turning as red as a lobster here," Regan said.
"It's getting late," James said. He turned to Susan. "I know you have to get back to Katie, and I'm sure there's a young man Regan wants to call."
"Ahh, getting in the embarrassment you missed all those years," Regan said, then good-naturedly laughed.
"I'll call you tomorrow," James said, and hugged his daughter once more. "Good-night."
"Good-night," Susan and Regan replied, and walked back to their car.
"So, what did you think?" Susan asked as she drove the quiet streets on the way home.
"I think he's amazing," Regan began. "Intelligent, sweet, and just as how I'd hoped he would be."
"He is all of those things, and more," Susan replied.
Regan looked over at Susan and added quietly, "And I think he's still in love with you."
Susan slammed on the brakes and pulled the car over to the side of the road. She looked at Regan. "What!"
"He could barely keep his eyes off of you," Regan said. "And…it was just a feeling I had. I could be wrong."
"No, he had his eyes on you," Susan replied. "Not me."
"I'm sorry if I caused trouble," Regan began. "But today, I saw what it would be like to have my mom and dad together. It was the three of us, and it felt nice." Regan looked at Susan, a serious expression on her face. "But I love Chuck and Katie, and the life that we have. I don't want anything to change."
Susan leaned over and kissed Regan's head. "I know, sweetie," she said. "And as for the whole James being in love with me part, it was in the past."
"Okay," Regan said, and shrugged. "I just thought that maybe something was there."
"I'll always love him," Susan said. "We were best friends before we dated, and he was there for me during the entire pregnancy. There's always going to be a special bond between us - you. But as for being in love with him, I'm not."
"All right," Regan replied quietly.
"But?" Susan said, knowing her daughter all to well.
"But I always wondered what it would be like if we were a family. I think most kids whose parents are apart wonder the same thing," Regan said.
"Maybe if we'd met a few years earlier, things would be different," Susan replied. "But I love Chuck and I can't picture my life without him."
"And he's hopelessly in love with you," Regan said, and smiled. "His face lights up when you walk into the room."
"Can I tell you something?" Susan asked, and Regan nodded. "Coop's face does the same thing when he sees you."
"Really?" Regan asked excitedly, and Susan nodded her head in answer. "Oh, wow!"
"Let's go home," Susan said, as she checked her rearview mirror and pulled the car back onto the street. "We have some serious girl talk to do."
"Sounds good to me," Regan said, as she sat back and watched the scenery pass, a broad smile on her face.
