VOICE OVER:

Have mercy on my laptop!

AUTHOR:

This is good…this is really good…(munch…munch…)

VOICE OVER:

What are you doing? Stop it! Don't eat the keyboard!

AUTHOR:

Stop what? It's a chocolate bar! You can't even tell the difference.

NARRATOR:

Episode 2: An episode full of crap

As they skip, jog, hop, jump, do cart-wheels on their separate ways, there was a…

SAKURA:

A clow card?

TOMOYO:

A dog poop…

SAKURA:

Ahhhh…(disappointment…really)

TOMOYO:

Wait…there is still more!

SAKURA:

A clow card?

TOMOYO:

No…a dog pee.

SAKURA:

Cool…

TOMOYO:

I'm still not done yet…

SAKURA:

This is it. I know it's a clow card.

SYAORAN:

If you call now, we'll slash 10 off the original price. Just call1-800-888888. Our friendly operators are standing by.

TOMOYO:

No…Syaoran. It's not Rose Hip Hair Remover. It's…

SAKURA:

It's a what?

ERIOL:

It's a clow card.

SYAORAN:

What? Why didn't you tell us?

ERIOL:

Well…no one's listening to me. You only care about what Tomoyo's going to say.

SAKURA:

Eriol, we didn't mean that way. How did you find out?

ERIOL:

Actually, I read it on Tomoyo's mind.

SYAORAN:

So what kind of card are we dealing with? I thought Sakura had all of them sealed already.

ERIOL:

It's a new card from the author's wild imagination.

TOMOYO:

What is it then?

ERIOL:

It's a poop card.

SAKURA, SYAORAN, TOMOYO:

1,2,3…A poop card?

ERIOL:

Yeah…whatever it is.

SAKURA:

Okay…I'll seal it with my ultra sonic hyper super duper pink girly magical key that changes into a baton.

TOMOYO:

You can do it, Sakura! It's a good thing I brought my video camera with built-in laser that cuts through everything.

SAKURA:

By the power vested upon me blah blah blah. I command you. Release!

(poooot…)

SYAORAN:

Ahhhh!…don't do that ever again!

ERIOL:

Oh no…I think the fart sound just triggered something.

SYAORAN:

Yeah…the card's glowing.

ERIOL:

Actually…I need to go to the washroom now. (dashes away)

SYAORAN:

I'm the only one standing now. It's up to me to defeat you, poop card!

TOMOYO:

Syaoran, look out! The card's shooting poop all over the place.

SYAORAN:

Oh yeah? Anyone can dodge that. Hahaha!

TOMOYO:

Actually, I'm afraid that you might step on one of it and slip.

SYAORAN:

Ahhhh!…..(slips)

ERIOL:

Ah…. success!

SAKURA:

Eriol…you're the one behind this?

ERIOL:

Really? I mean, yes. I have succeeded in going to the washroom.

SAKURA:

No, you idiot. This poop-shooting!

ERIOL:

You mean, I'm the evil mastermind? Hahahaha! (flashes his all-girls-will-swoon-at-my-feet-and-eat-dirt smile)

TOMOYO:

Eriol, how could you hurt my friends? (sticks out her video cam)

You're going to pay….hehehehe

ERIOL:

Bring it on!

SAKURA:

Are you sure you want to do this, Tomoyo? You know, cutting things with a laser attached to a video cam is not your passion.

TOMOYO:

Yeah…I think. Laser attack! Hiyaaaaahhhhh!

ERIOL:

No! Wait! Poop card, transform now to a Sakura card! I command you! Or Tomoyo will fry us alive!

SAKURA:

Eriol…you're going down.

NARRATOR:

Fortunately, the poop card transformed into a Sakura card in the nick of time…as in the laser is just nanometers away from Eriol's face.

SAKURA:

Way to go, Tomoyo! I don't even have to seal it myself.

TOMOYO:

You see, making movies is my passion.

SYAORAN:

Yeah…and I smell of crap.

ERIOL:

I am defeated! Just end my life here…

SYAORAN:

I will do it! I will do it! Me! Me! This is my chance...to get revenge!

ERIOL:

Don't worry…I will reincarnate again…and again… and again…

SAKURA:

Don't bother, Syaoran. Your efforts will be useless.

SYAORAN:

Crap…

NARRATOR:

This episode is brought to you by Rose Hip Hair Remover. It removes hair even in the darkest spots.

AUTHOR:

I can't believe it…this chocolate bar tastes like crap!

VOICE OVER:

Are you going to post this on the Internet?

AUTHOR:

Yes! So everyone will know how great I am!

VOICE OVER:

With that, we'll need a pen name…Hmmm… That's right! So my reputation would not be ruin and most certainly not by you! I can't even imagine their faces if they found out about this. I know! You're pen name would be Mr. Hyde!

AUTHOR:

How original… (punches laptop)