Have mercy on my laptop!
AUTHOR:This is good…this is really good…(munch…munch…)
VOICE OVER:
What are you doing? Stop it! Don't eat the keyboard!
AUTHOR:Stop what? It's a chocolate bar! You can't even tell the difference.
NARRATOR:Episode 2: An episode full of crap
As they skip, jog, hop, jump, do cart-wheels on their separate ways, there was a…
SAKURA:
A clow card?
TOMOYO:A dog poop…
SAKURA:
Ahhhh…(disappointment…really)
TOMOYO:Wait…there is still more!
SAKURA:A clow card?
TOMOYO:No…a dog pee.
SAKURA:Cool…
TOMOYO:I'm still not done yet…
SAKURA:This is it. I know it's a clow card.
SYAORAN:If you call now, we'll slash 10 off the original price. Just call1-800-888888. Our friendly operators are standing by.
TOMOYO:No…Syaoran. It's not Rose Hip Hair Remover. It's…
SAKURA:It's a what?
ERIOL:It's a clow card.
SYAORAN:What? Why didn't you tell us?
ERIOL:Well…no one's listening to me. You only care about what Tomoyo's going to say.
SAKURA:Eriol, we didn't mean that way. How did you find out?
ERIOL:
Actually, I read it on Tomoyo's mind.
SYAORAN:So what kind of card are we dealing with? I thought Sakura had all of them sealed already.
ERIOL:It's a new card from the author's wild imagination.
TOMOYO:What is it then?
ERIOL:
It's a poop card.
SAKURA, SYAORAN, TOMOYO:
1,2,3…A poop card?
ERIOL:Yeah…whatever it is.
SAKURA:
Okay…I'll seal it with my ultra sonic hyper super duper pink girly magical key that changes into a baton.
TOMOYO:You can do it, Sakura! It's a good thing I brought my video camera with built-in laser that cuts through everything.
SAKURA:By the power vested upon me blah blah blah. I command you. Release!
(poooot…)
SYAORAN:Ahhhh!…don't do that ever again!
ERIOL:
Oh no…I think the fart sound just triggered something.
SYAORAN:Yeah…the card's glowing.
ERIOL:Actually…I need to go to the washroom now. (dashes away)
SYAORAN:I'm the only one standing now. It's up to me to defeat you, poop card!
TOMOYO:Syaoran, look out! The card's shooting poop all over the place.
SYAORAN:Oh yeah? Anyone can dodge that. Hahaha!
TOMOYO:Actually, I'm afraid that you might step on one of it and slip.
SYAORAN:Ahhhh!…..(slips)
ERIOL:Ah…. success!
SAKURA:Eriol…you're the one behind this?
ERIOL:Really? I mean, yes. I have succeeded in going to the washroom.
SAKURA:No, you idiot. This poop-shooting!
ERIOL:
You mean, I'm the evil mastermind? Hahahaha! (flashes his all-girls-will-swoon-at-my-feet-and-eat-dirt smile)
TOMOYO:Eriol, how could you hurt my friends? (sticks out her video cam)
You're going to pay….hehehehe
ERIOL:Bring it on!
SAKURA:Are you sure you want to do this, Tomoyo? You know, cutting things with a laser attached to a video cam is not your passion.
TOMOYO:Yeah…I think. Laser attack! Hiyaaaaahhhhh!
ERIOL:No! Wait! Poop card, transform now to a Sakura card! I command you! Or Tomoyo will fry us alive!
SAKURA:Eriol…you're going down.
NARRATOR:Fortunately, the poop card transformed into a Sakura card in the nick of time…as in the laser is just nanometers away from Eriol's face.
SAKURA:Way to go, Tomoyo! I don't even have to seal it myself.
TOMOYO:You see, making movies is my passion.
SYAORAN:Yeah…and I smell of crap.
ERIOL:I am defeated! Just end my life here…
SYAORAN:
I will do it! I will do it! Me! Me! This is my chance...to get revenge!
ERIOL:Don't worry…I will reincarnate again…and again… and again…
SAKURA:Don't bother, Syaoran. Your efforts will be useless.
SYAORAN:Crap…
NARRATOR:This episode is brought to you by Rose Hip Hair Remover. It removes hair even in the darkest spots.
AUTHOR:I can't believe it…this chocolate bar tastes like crap!
VOICE OVER:Are you going to post this on the Internet?
AUTHOR:Yes! So everyone will know how great I am!
VOICE OVER:With that, we'll need a pen name…Hmmm… That's right! So my reputation would not be ruin and most certainly not by you! I can't even imagine their faces if they found out about this. I know! You're pen name would be Mr. Hyde!
AUTHOR:How original… (punches laptop)
