Chapter Fourteen

"How in the HELL did you manage to talk me into this?" hissed Remus as he stood at the stairs to the cupboard, waiting for Harry to get ready for shopping.

Sirius spread his hands wide, "I'm just that good."

Remus smacked him lightly on the head, "and your head is getting bigger every day."

"Hey! I'm not that bad!" exclaimed Sirius.

"Keep telling yourself that, Padfoot," Remus said drily.

Just then, Harry came racing out of his room, "ready?" he asked, almost bouncing in place.

Sirius ruffled his hair, "almost, pup. We are ready to talk to the Dursleys. They'll agree to help."

"OK," said Harry, bobbing around excitedly.

"They'll have no choice," muttered Remus, too softly for Harry to hear. Sirius only grinned.

They all left the trunk together and walked into the Dursleys' living room to find Vernon and Petunia sitting on the couch.

"Dudley's in his room," said Petunia.

"All right," said Sirius,

"What do you want?" asked Vernon snidely, "you've already got that...thing in our house. We haven't told anyone you're here. What else do you freaks want with us?"

"Only one simple thing." said Remus, frowning at the word.

"What now?" asked Vernon before he could continue.

"If you keep interrupting, it will take longer for me to tell you." snapped Remus.

"You won't have to do anything too difficult." said Sirius, "just stay in the house. And give us a piece of your hair."

"Our hair?" questioned Petunia, bringing her hands up to her head as if to check that her hair was still there, "what do you need our hair for?"

"Relax," said Remus, "we only need one strand each."

"As for what we need it for," said Sirius, "it's for something called Polyjuice Potion. It makes the person who drinks it turn into whoever's hair is put in. That's why you need to stay inside."

"So - so you'll use this poly-whatsis to turn into us?" asked Vernon, scowling at the thought.

"Why?" asked Petunia.

"Simple," said Sirius, "Harry needs new things for school. He can't go himself, and I won't even consider letting you take him. And we can't be seen with him."

Vernon's piggy little eyes narrowed, "and what do we get out of it, huh? You go round, pretending to be us with this fr-boy. What do we get?"

Remus replied before an outraged Sirius could lose his temper, "what do you want?" he asked shrewdly.

Vernon licked his lips, "I heard you lot talking, the boy's parents had money."

"And you want money." growled Sirius.

"How much?" smirked Remus, giving Sirius a pointed look. This was going almost exactly how they'd planned it, he didn't need Sirius mucking it up by losing his temper. He had enough trouble controlling his own.

Vernon grinned and licked his lips again. He didn't want to ask for too much…..this time.

"One thousand pounds." he said.

Sirius blinked, it was cheaper than he thought. He'd thought the greedy bastard would have tried to gouge them for more. "Deal," he said, "half now, half when we get back."

Vernon nodded, "good. Now, what do we have to do?"

….

A/N; Remus is polyjuiced as Petunia, Sirius as Vernon. Harry is himself. I'll be using their regular names so as not to confuse anyone.

Remus smiled at Harry as he made sure the seat belt was fastened tightly before sitting in the passenger seat and buckling his own. He looked over at Sirius in the driver's seat, "ready to go," he said, then frowned, "Padfoot, are you sure-"

Sirius sighed, "yes, Moony, I remember how to drive," he said as he buckled his belt around his now huge middle. "Merlin! How did that fat lump ever fit in a seat belt?" he asked, struggling to get the belt around his fat waist.

Harry giggled, "he mostly didn't wear one," he piped up, still giggling.

"All right," said Sirius, giving up on the belt, "let's go!"

Sirius pulled out of the drive and headed off to a shopping mall nearby.

"We're here!" said Sirius, opening his door.

"OK be careful," said Remus, "remember we're supposed to be-"

Sirius waved his hand, "I know, I know, Petunia."

Remus frowned at him as he went to help Harry, who was already standing beside the car.

"Let's go then," said Sirius, "do you know how tiring it is to move this much fat around? How does the walrus even move?"

Harry giggled.

Remus smiled, glad to hear Harry laughing, "let's go then."

…...

Sirius sagged tiredly on to the armchair, "that was EXHAUSTING."

Remus nodded as he sat down, "yeah. Harry really is a bundle of energy."

Sirius smiled fondly as he nodded, "he is that. He's putting all his stuff away, then?"

Remus nodded, "we did get him a lot."

"He deserves it," said Sirius, "and now that he has decent clothes, maybe we can have a little bonfire with those old rags. We can do the whole toasting marshmallows and everything."

Remus smiled, "all right. After dinner."

"Awwww Moony," pouted Sirius, "pleeeeeeeeease?"

"No," said Remus mock sternly, "and now you sound younger than Harry does."

Sirius did the mature thing and hit him with a throw pillow. Then Remus retaliated and the fight was on. Harry heard the laughter and came in. Soon all three of the little family was engaged in a pillow war, only made worse as both Sirius and Remus conjured more pillows. Soon, they all collapsed into a laughing heap.

"That was fun!" exclaimed Harry happily.

"Yes it was," said Remus as he extracted himself from the pile, "now it's time for me to make dinner."

Harry bounced up, "can I help Uncle Moony?"

Remus smiled at his title and ruffled Harry's already messy hair, "yes you can cub."

Sirius pouted, "you never let me help."

Remus smiled, "do I have to remind you what happened the last time you tried to 'help'?"

Sirius stuck his tongue out, "that was ONE TIME! How was I supposed to know-" he mock glared at Remus and Harry, who was rolling on the floor laughing.

"Ok," said a still chuckling Remus, "we can all make dinner together. Sirius can chop, Harry can carry things to me, and I can cook. We can all do it, and more importantly," Remus smirked, "Sirius will not touch the stove."

Sirius grinned, "aww Moony, you're no fun."

"Just because I don't want to be covered in exploded bits of food doesn't mean I'm not fun." Remus smirked as they all headed for the kitchen.

A/N Should I skip a few weeks or months per chapter and stay pre-Hogwarts for a while? Or should I just skip to Harry's Hogwarts years? Poll is on my profile. Please vote. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, followed, and favorited. You are all great! I love to see what you think of my story. I plan on doing responses next chapter.