Learning Boundaries


Disclaimer: Refer To Chapter One.


Pulling the last file from his desk, Grissom watched as Brass hovered outside his office. "Jim, you need something?" he asked through the doorway.

"Yeah, Gil, I do," Brass said, walking into the office. He slid the chair out a bit as he placed himself down. "I need to talk to you about Sara."

Grissom heaved a heavy sigh as one eyebrow rose quizzically. "I'm assuming this is important for you to come to me about it."

"I think she needs to talk to someone. I'm not here to tell you how to do your job or anything. I just want to make sure she's okay."

This caused Grissom to clear his throat. "What happened?" Grissom asked with the best supervisory tone that he could muster.

"Today? Or do you want to know about the other three incidents in the last two weeks?"

"God, Jim, what happened?" His voice was full of concern, fearing that somehow Sara had been harmed by someone or something.

"It's nothing specific..." Brass was hesitant even though he knew it had to be discussed.

"You wouldn't be here if it wasn't," Grissom sighed with irritation showing through in his voice.

"I'll start at the most recent. Today, she was late to the scene. Two days ago, she told a suspect off. Three days before that, she walked into a scene before it was secure. And, about a week before that she went off on one of the officers."

"Any idea what caused these episodes?" It was at this point that Grissom realized it was Sara that caused them, rather than them happening to her.

"Well, it's just speculation, but I think it's... you." Brass looked directly at Grissom without flinching in the least.

Grissom was clearly startled. "You never have been one to mince words, have you Jim? I really must say, however, that I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Look, Gil, we've worked together for years. I trust you with my life. You could at least show me enough dignity not to lie to my face."

Resignation on his face, Grissom said, "What makes you think they had something to do with me?"

"Let's just say there was a reference to you in each case."

"Jim..." Grissom demanded.

"Well... first, an officer made a joke about you in front of Sara, and she all but tore into him when she was through giving him an earful. Second, there were bugs crawling around at one scene, and she ran in there to scoop them up before we knew if there was a threat in the house. Third, during a case the two of you were on, the suspect started complaining about you, and she just... well, told them like it was." Brass never took his eyes off of Grissom, watching his face for a reaction.

"And today?" Grissom pursed his lips.

"Today," Brass said, looking pensive, "today is a little harder to explain. Today, she pulled up at the scene. It was nothing unusual, except that she was about 30 minutes late. When I joked about it, she became defensive. I let it go, of course, but later I looked in the SUV, and she had a Barnes & Noble bag sitting on the seat and a Christmas card laying on top of it."

"What does that have to do with me?"

"It has everything to do with you, Gil. You and I both know it. People don't get themselves Christmas cards." Brass glanced out in the hall briefly. "That girl has feelings for you – just as you do for her."

Grissom opened his mouth slightly and chewed the words around while he was staring at his fingers. "Jim... I..."

"I know. I know. You don't want to talk about it. Hell, Gil, you probably don't even want to think about it." He stood and walked to the door. "I was in that interrogation room with you. I'm a detective, but it didn't take one to know what and who you were talking about. Do me a favor, do it for you, but mostly do it for her. Make a decision. One way or another you need to make a choice."

"Jim, I took someone's advice two weeks ago. It has only served in making matters worse."

"That's because you didn't make a decision." He sighed. "I'm not here to pass judgment. I'm just here as a friend." Brass walked out leaving Grissom staring after him.


The end of shift was nearing, and Sara walked into the hallway with Warrick this time. They were walking close together so that their arms were brushing up against each other. Grissom remembered times that he and she had walked like that. Everyone was driving him over the edge of jealousy.

Grissom admitted to himself that he was selfish. Every time he thought he was going to lose Sara, he ran to her with something small to make her stay – a word, a look, the most minute gesture. After that, he showed nothing until the next time he felt it was necessary to keep her by his side. In times where she would start getting close, he would break the spell. It truly was the most selfish of acts.

Nick came walking into Grissom's office. "You wanna go out for a drink, Gris?"

Grissom looked up, clearly disturbed at the interruption. As he was looking at Nick, Sara came walking up behind him. She peeked into the office with the cutest of grins on her face. It was a playful look, and Grissom almost felt himself melt.

"Hey, Nick," she cooed teasingly and poked him in the arm. "You got here before I did. Glad we didn't bet on that." Sara turned her attention to Grissom asking, "So, you ready to head out for some breakfast?"

"Thank you both for the offer, but I have responsibilities here at the lab." His tone conveyed neutrality, and for once Grissom was amazed. Pushing indifference with Sara just might make his decision for him.

"You're going to miss out on a great omelet, Gris," Sara replied with a grin on her face.

Grissom only peered up over his glasses. His eyes were on her smile. He reminded himself to remain in his seat. Neutrality. Decline.

"C'mon, Grissom. Food," Nick pressed.

"Grissssom..." Sara pleaded with him, "I'm buying." That smile on her lips was taunting him.

"Oh, c'mon, man, how can you turn that down?" Nick probed. It was more of a statement than a question. Or so Grissom wanted to think. Each day it was harder and harder for him to turn anything Sara said down.

Again, Grissom had to will himself to stay in his seat. "You guys go. Have fun. I'll see you at shift tonight." He returned his eyes to his paperwork.

Reluctantly, Nick and Sara walked away. Grissom turned his eyes back up to watch her walk away. His heart tumbled at the sight of her grabbing Nick's arm, tugging him down the hall. Every ounce of him wanted him to be the man she was holding – to feel her hands on his skin.


"Grissom," he said sleepily into the phone.

"Gris." It was the voice that needed no introduction.

Immediately, his eyes flew open. What was wrong? Was she hurt? His mind was racing attempting to figure out why she would call him in the middle of the day. No, he calmed himself down. She sounded far too composed to be in trouble. Or did she just not want to worry him?

"What's wrong, honey?" The words were out before he could stop himself. When his heart reacted before his brain the word 'honey' was always there. Actually, it was always on the tip of his tongue, just never spoken.

Silence. Dead and utter silence. She had caught the word as well. Sara pondered the word for a moment, using it to steady her resolve as to why she had called him. It was so sweet when it rolled off of his tongue, just a little more satisfying than when he said her name with that husky voice of his. Shivers ran through her body as the thought ran through her mind.

"Sara?" Grissom asked hesitantly.

His voice calling her name. It made her voice shaky as she pressed herself to say something. "Gri–Grissom, I was wondering..." Sara fought to make a conscious thought. "I haven't been able to go to sleep. I–I've just been sitting here thinking... Do you think we could talk?"

"Sara, it's the middle of the day. What's wrong?" He tried to be neutral, but he knew right where she was headed. There was no way out of this without hurting her again.

"I know. I'm sorry. I didn't even think of the time when I called. I just can't sleep. I've just been thinking a lot... about things. Maybe we don't have to talk now... but later?"

Her voice begged him to submit to the whims of his heart. Knowing for sure that anything he said would backfire, he relented. It would at least buy him some time to think about what he could say. Or maybe give him time to show her there was nothing to talk about. She might just need some time to think it over for herself.

"Sure, Sara. We can talk later."

"Thanks," Sara whispered. He could hear the relief in her voice.

"Mm-hmm." He hated himself in that moment. Her heart was going to break, and so was his. Why did he have to keep doing this to himself and to her? Grissom squinted his eyes shut and listened to her breathing over the line.

"Grissom?" asked Sara's uncertain and shaky voice.

"Yes, Sara," he replied almost as quietly as she had spoken.

"G'night, Grissom."

"Goodnight, Sara."

The connection went dead. Sara just listened to the silence in her apartment, phone still pressed to her ear. Her eyes were closed as she pictures his face. She pondered what he was doing at that very minute. Was he smiling? No, probably not. He was most likely freaking out at the thought of her getting near him.

She felt in her soul that she had just botched everything up. He had tried to reach out in the way he could. He wanted to be friends, and she was pushing it. She had pushed too hard and was going to lose him forever.

Inside, she was torn up over wanting him to be more than he wanted to be with her. She hated herself for making the call and making herself vulnerable to him – not to him, but more to herself. She was weak when it came to him, and it killed her that she could not control the hold he unknowingly had on her heart.

Sara hoped in that instant that he would just forget the call. Pretend it had never happened – like he did with so many other things in his life.