Okay people we all know the drill. This is fanfic I don't own these characters and I know it. Although, this is perhaps a bit of what we would have seen post 'untouchable- A big thanks to Jacey05 and TonyZiva fan, my muses. Jeanne

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Friday Night

"You have got to be kidding me." Ziva stood in the entryway to Tony's living room surveying the damage. "I'm not cleaning this." Empty beer bottles cluttered the room, magazines with pictures of women in varying states of undress and boxes full pizza crusts clung to the various surfaces. Clothes littered the floor. The whole place smelled of a heady bouquet of male sweat, old pizza and spilled beer.

"I can always go back and rip up that form." Tony caught her expression. She looked a little disappointed. "What? Did you think I was going to keep you chained to the bed all weekend?"

Well, yes. I was hoping. "No." Ziva said, surveying the damage. "Did you do this by yourself?"

"Nah. My buddies had a bachelor party and we closed down the bar and they came here."

Ziva stepped farther into the living room. Her eyes bugged when she spotted a red thong draped over the top of a lamp. She picked it up with two fingers and flung it at Tony. "If I'm staying here I'm not sharing with another woman's cheap panties!"

"Those are Victoria's Secret!"

"I'm more of an Aubade girl myself."

"I'll remember that."

"Good. It's not cheap." She replied. "Who's that?" She indicated a man who slumbered face down on the sofa, feet hanging over the armrest.

"Oh. I forgot. Hey, hey, Brett. Get up." Tony shook him. "I let him sleep it off here."

The man called Brett rolled over and his eyes fixed on Ziva-"I so don't have the energy for another stripper."

"I am not a stripper!" She said. She grabbed the front of his shirt and hauled him upright. "Got it?"

"Watch it Ziva, be nice!" Tony laughed. "You start cleaning. I'll take him home. Oh. And I want a good dinner so get cracking."

Ziva relinquished her grip on the befuddled Brett. She stood in contemptuous amazement as Tony hustled Brett out the door.

Ziva took the time to study his apartment. Despite the layer of debris it was pleasant. It occupied the front corner of the apartment building. The exterior walls were brick, the interior painted off white. Large windows let in the weak early evening light. The walls were mostly bare save for a few black and white Ansel Adams photos. A granite-topped island separated the modern kitchen from the living room. A hall lead from the kitchen straight back to an office, bathroom and master bed room.

She grunted in dissatisfaction. There's no way I'm going to let you get away with this. If you think I'm going to play the happy home maker all weekend you're wrong.

In a rabid rage Ziva stormed through the apartment like a whirling dervish armed with Clorox. She crammed several trash bags full with bachelor party refuse. She sprayed, scraped and scrubbed. Finally, she hauled out the vacuum cleaner and began to suck the last remnants of Tony's good time out of the beige carpet.

She moved the sofa to suck up an unidentified bit of something and knocked over a stack of GSM magazines. It hit her. She snatched them up and ran into the hall and shoved them down the trash chute. I don't know what I'm going to do but I swear I will make you regret this weekend.

X

Tony tentatively turned the key in the lock and stepped into his apartment, only half expecting Ziva to fly out of the shadows and clock him. Instead, he was pleasantly surprised. He looked around in amazement. His apartment hadn't looked this good since-well, never.

Ziva smiled at him and set two plates onto the table. "Meat and potatoes. Your favorite, right?"

"Yes." Tony said suspiciously as he slid into his seat. She seemed too nice. Too calm.

"Don't look at me like that."

"What gives?" he asked.

"What? You filled out the form this is the deal, right?" She said sweetly. "Wine?"

"Sure." He slid his empty glass towards her.

"So let's eat." She said.

They made awkward small talk, both drained by the week and occupied by their thoughts of how make the other's week end miserable.

When they finished Ziva took both plates and set them in the dishwasher. "I'm going to clean up and go read before I go to bed. Where am I sleeping?"

"I don't have a spare bedroom. You can stay with me."

"Is that a request?"

"Not yet."

"Then I'll take the sofa."

X

Ziva lay on the sofa, her mind ticking off ideas of how to beat Tony at his game. He was enjoying himself too much for her taste. Admit it. You were looking forward to having sex. You're curious, you've always been curios to see if he's as good as he says. And you're mad he didn't jump at the chance to sleep with you. That's it. She rose and padded slowly down the hall. She paused at his bedroom door. You're so going to wish you just went for sex.

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Want to know what happens, don't you? Okay. Reviews are very encouraging and appreciated! Jeanne