05-05-06
Hello! New Chapter, I promised. The song at the end is by Frou Frou. The first poem excerpt I found from the movie, Amelie (aka my favorite movie of all time) the second is by Emily Dickenson. I like this chapter, and I worked hard on it. I found myself relating to Gordo as I wrote it. This story has really grown and come a long way since when I first began it. Anyways, review if you please and do enjoy!
Love,
Lola;0
Happy Birthday Babu;0
For you:
The Lizzie Nightmares
The Breakdown
19
One Year Later
Gordo pick up the delicate white card from the counter and unfolded it to reveal a pretty embellished invitation. He quickly scanned the inside, he already knew what it was the moment he saw the return address.
You are cordially invited the wedding of Shawn Mayer and Belle Locke…
He looked at the date and time and tried to make a mental note; he would write it down later. It was really no surprise. He friend may have been partially crazy, but some of that had to do with his girl. He was happy for them. It was only moments away now, until Shawn would be calling him asking if he could be in the wedding. He wondered it Lizzie had received her invitation yet.
Lizzie had left his apartment a few weeks after she arrived. However, to Gordo's surprise, instead of moving into her dorm she decided to rent one of the apartments near his own. She coolly explained that she'd enjoyed hanging out with him and hoped he wouldn't mind. He did, but that was bit of a lie. He loved her being nearly two minutes away. It was hard though, trying to get over someone you saw everyday. Life was bittersweet for Gordo.
Work was the only thing that really relaxed him. He moved up a notch and no longer was the PA kid running people their coffees. He was doing well in his film classes also. He loved work and school for two reasons. He had loved gaining knowledge and was in love with film since he was in middle school. He was getting to do what he loved and dared not complain. Also, there was something so worldly and unimportant with work "problems". He didn't really have to worry himself to the point of becoming stressed when a difficulty arose in school or work. Somehow work related problems seem petty compared to, well, other things. When one of these problems did occur, he'd always have work to fall back on. He would put all his focus into his work and soon forget, for the moment, his own pitiful sadness.
His emerald green notebook soon filled up and he had a fairy large compilation of "TLN's". These haunting …dreams or whatever they were started sticking with him throughout the day. He decided to channel his stress and began a sort of story slash screenplay of the dreams and his umm…situation. He had gotten this idea way back when Lizzie first arrived and it had come a long way. He hated to say it, but …it was good.
"It's not ready yet," thought Gordo and then backtracked. "Wait; am I seriously thinking of showing this to someone?" Gordo had fantasized about his first movie, but this? He didn't have the guts to even mention it to Shawn, let alone the world. Not that they mattered, but mainly he worried what Lizzie might think. It was silly though, to think she'd understand his feeling for her buried in-between the lines of characters cleverly disguised in a movie. Still, he shuttered at the thought of anyone reading it.
Gordo left the counter and bent over to dig in the laundry basket. He found a plain baby blue tee and some navy shorts. He needed to hurry up and get ready. His class would start in half an hour and he told Lizzie he would take her to her own before. After getting dressed he quickly slung his bag across his chest and hurried out the door. Lizzie was already outside the door and he was glad for her promptness.
"Let's go," he said smiling.
"Good morning to you too," said Lizzie and she laughed.
Gordo rolled down the windows. In the car Lizzie carefully studied a thick pack of papers. His eyes couldn't help but wander off the road and watch the delicate strands of hair brush her cheek. All the confidence and charisma of those smooth men in old films (you know, the ones never looking at the road but constantly are grinning at the beautiful dame next time them. Planning which line to throw out next or when the right time is to coolly wrap his arm around her, yeah those guys) wouldn't even help poor Gordo. She wouldn't ever like him like that and nothing he could do would change that. He felt like a middle school girl and laughed to himself. He looked back at the road. This time he would stay focused.
Lizzie murmured something, her head still buried in her papers.
"Hum?" said Gordo, curious.
Lizzie turned to him and said rather passionately, "Without you today's emotions would be the scuff of yesterdays,"
Gordo grinned, "Wow, Lizzie"
She smiled, "We're covering poetry reading this week. I have to recite one today."
Gordo thoughts turned back to his story suddenly. Lizzie had begun taking acting classes a while after she started her first semester at college. She was really amazing, as he was working to become a director, Gordo knew it was true. Aw, he didn't care if it was only an impossible fantasy; he had to admit it to himself. He wanted Lizzie in his movie, as ironic as it was.
He smiled to her, "You'll do great,"
Lizzie just smiled and shook her head away.
"I really mean it," he put his foot slowly on the brake and Lizzie gathered her things.
She opened the car door, "We'll see."
-
Lizzie took Gordo's arm and together they walked gracefully down the isle. He smiled passing his friend at the front. He watched Shawn eyes turn from him and now gaze down the isle at his bride. He held Lizzie's hand. Out of the corner of his eye he watched as she turned to him and smile. He squeezed tighter.
Gordo and Lizzie stood like wallflowers on the edge of the illuminated white tent on that pretty nite. Gordo watched as the couple danced to the gorgeous folk band. He never saw his friend hold something so careful and delicately in his life. They melted into the music with each step. They loved to dance, but not nearly enough as they love each other. Gordo and Lizzie stood on the sidelines, both feeling that stab of jealously and longing for loving arms to hold them.
Gordo eyes focused somewhere outside the room. These visions or dreams, foretold that his love was unattainable, and painful. He didn't want to hurt her… or maybe he was afraid of hurting himself, taking the pain that came with rejection. Gordo watched Lizzie from the corner of his eye. He had found his way around avoiding these visions when something going on seemed strangely familiar. He didn't dare look into those bright eyes. He would forget what would happen next, after he told her those words. He might get lost in them. He watched her from the corner of his eyes. She was looking down and fiddling with her flowers she caught earlier. He turned his head so her pretty figure was out of his view.
The song ended and he watched the couple tenderly kiss. Something caught him by surprise. He look down at his arm and her hand was grabbing hold of it. He looked up at her and she smiled gesturing him to follow her. The light from the tent slowly faded as they walked farther away. Gordo stared at his sleeve, then at her as she lead them towards the shore. The roar of the ocean grew louder with each step. He closed his eyes. It was happening.
Drink up baby down
Are you in or are you out?
Leave your things behind
'Cause it's all going off without you
Excuse me too busy you're writing a tragedy
These mess-ups
You bubble-wrap
When you've no idea what you're like
They stopped, a few feet from the waterline. Gordo looked up only as far as to see her shadow. She kept her head down, watching her feet as they graced the sand. She made a small twirl then laughed softly putting a hand to her face. She longed to dance. No vision had to tell him that.
So, let go, let go
Jump in
Oh well, what you waiting for?
It's all right
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown
So, let go, l-let go
Just get in
Oh, it's so amazing here
It's all right
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown
The two of them had become so close since she moved there, Gordo thought. Yet, these thoughts were misguided. This moment, it was getting to him. He felt such a confusion of knowing what was going on, and at the same time not having any idea what he was doing as he took her hand in his and the small of her back in the other.
It gains the more it gives
And then it rises with the fall
So hand me that remote
Can't you see that all that stuff's essential?
Such boundless pleasure
We've no time for later
Now you can't wait
You roll your eyes
We've twenty seconds to comply
With each gentle step Gordo was losing control of the moment, but he still hadn't looked her in the eyes. Alas, he loved dancing with her. From his peripheral he watched her head search for a face to rest her eyes on. He spun her out and as she came into his arms he had a glance of those darling, bright eyes. They stopped there. Gordo couldn't take his eyes off them, her. He kissed her cheek then slowly let her go as he walked a distance away. He didn't look back. That was too close.
So, let go, so let go
Jump in
Oh well, what you waiting for?
It's alright
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown
So, let go, yeah let go
Just get in
Oh, it's so amazing here
It's all right
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown
He sat down on the beach and stared far beyond the ends of the sea. The foam of the water reached his feet and then drew back into the ocean. Lizzie followed him and took a seat next to him. She was concerned. Oh how wonderful this woman was. She touched his hand. He stopped thinking. He pulled it away. Her face looked hurt and she let out a short breath. Please, please don't cry.
He turned to her, but looked down. "Please, Liz..," he whispered. Then he looked back to the ocean. Lizzie's expression changed and this was the first time. She was feeling, upset and stood up to leave him there. She walked away feeling hurting, but sorry. She looked back to see if he followed her. He was still facing the ocean; he hadn't even looked back to her. A single tear rolled down her cheek and she shook her head at him. She wiped her face and walked back strong and determined for her heart to forget him.
So, let go, so let go
Jump in
Oh well, what you waiting for?
It's alright
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown
So, let go, yeah let go
Just get in
Oh, it's so amazing here
It's all right
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown
In the breakdown
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown
The breakdown
So amazing here
The lights from the tent, she could now see. She whispered to herself a poem she remembered from that week, "Heart, we will forget him! You and I, tonight! You may forget the warmth he gave, I will forget the light. When you have done, pray tell me, That I my thoughts may dim; Haste! While you're lagging, I may remember him!"
Someone greeted her with a smile and she nodded smiling and took his hand to dance. Gordo watched from a few feet outside the tent. He'd been in this spot many times before. Yet, now he knew he'd always be.
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown.
To be continued…
