.Stress


Zelos is dead. Zelos is dead because Lloyd killed him. Because Zelos was evil. Was honest-to-god going to kill them if they didn't kill him. And it hurts. Lloyd remembers what it was like to kill Kvar - how that was satisfying and didn't make him feel guilty at all. Because Kvar had killed, not only his mother, but so many other people. But Zelos has killed, or so he believed, his own mother. Or at the very least was to blame for her death. That same need for revenge directed at one's self.

Lloyd has killed Zelos, because that's what Zelos wanted. It hurts. Every time he thinks about it it hurts. And he wants to cry, to just stop everything and curl up and cry, give up the journey, leave it to someone else, revive Zelos somehow, or die. Because fuck it's hard to deal with this - but there's no time. He has to keep moving and save everyone else, because if he quits now, after all these things, they'll have been for nothing.

Zelos will not have died for nothing. Lloyd wants to at least half-convince himself that. So if he's biting his lip and 'there's something in his eye' and he won't share a room at the inn with anyone anymore, that's okay with everyone. Because they all saw his face when Zelos stopped breathing.


Pastel Ink