Disclaimer: I don't own Lord of the Rings
Playing with the heart
It could be those amazing green eyes that light up his face. Or that adorable accent he seduces me with. Or the way he makes me laugh when my heart is broken. But I love him. It's not lust, its love at its truest, most painful form.
"What are you doing up, Master Meridoc?" He grabs me from behind, seducing me with every word.
"Can't sleep." I reply. I used to be able to flirt at will. But he takes that out of me and leaves me with stupid replies.
"Well, I'm not asleep either." His eyes twinkle with delight at teasing me. Now I know what you're thinking: we're together. But no, sorry to disappoint you we're not. He belongs to Diamond and I to Estella. He knows I can't stand him near me…..but he knows I can't stand it when we're apart. Have you ever had those feelings? Your love is near and you hate the feeling inside you but after they leave you want them to come back.
"Get to your wife, Pip! She's probably worried sick about you!" Diamond's completely obsessed with Pippin. They we're childhood sweethearts and she got her wish. Estella, on the other hand, was my best friends little annoying sister. I love you, don't get me wrong. But she isn't Pip.
"I don't care, Merry, I want to talk to you. We never talk." He pouts. He knows I can't stand his little pout anymore.
"Pippin, stop it! You're hurting me!" I'm sorry to tell you that he knows he is. I told him of my love years ago. He laughed in my face and refused to speak to me for weeks. The worst torture in my life. And I've been to war. I've had my arm paralyzed till I was near death. But those weeks left me sick. I literally threw up because I thought he'd leave me forever.
"Merry, I'm only teasing." He notices that I'm probably about to throw up or burst out crying, "I wish you could have just kept this one secret." He sends the final blow and walks away.
I'm left alone, in a deserted hall. I feel the burning tears run down my face. I feel as though I'm the only one who doesn't get their love. I go back to my room and wrap my arms around the woman who has love for me but I can't return. I'll dream of him tonight. Tomorrow I'll see my children and play the role as happy father. I'll kiss my wife and long for a look from him. I'll sleep again tomorrow and dream of him again. The days repeat the same schedule. Little things make each day a little different. But they make my heart different also. Not stronger, it will break a little more with each hour, it will only love Pippin more, but it will learn how to bear it. I wait for the day that I'll be free of my torture. I know that it may never happen though.
