Title: Light
Author: Amelia Bedelia
Chapter Nine: Exposure
ATUHORS NOTE: Ok, about three months later – and I finally return! :) This chapter took me a while because 1) It's my longest, 2) I kinda had a little bit of writers block at the beginning, and 3) I didn't feel like everything was connecting like I wanted it to so I kept trying to fix stuff! So, forgive me if some of this stuff seems… Well, stupid, I guess. It's hard to explain without giving away what happens in the story!
And also, a few people were asking about why Lily wasn't grieving over her parent's death that much. I kind-of answered that a little here, but I'll say it clearer here – Lily didn't want to really be known as fragile and everything so she tried to be strong and not cry. But once she did at the burial in the last chapter, that was because everything just caved in on her at once sort-of. If you're still confused, ask me in your review. Thanks!
Chapter Nine: Exposure
It was a long ride home for James. Thoughts continued to nag at the back of his mind. And they were all about one thing in particular. Well, one person.
He felt as if his head would explode from the pressure and noise building up inside. There would be one thought and then another would often times contradict that one and the pattern would follow for awhile until yet another concept was brought up.
This was exactly why James was thankful, for once in his life, that he could have some extra charms work for his mind to focus on instead of the constant subject of Lily zinging through his head.
James flew through his dormitory window. It was about three in the morning and James hadn't had any food for nearly two days, now, and his body was getting low on energy.
James tucked his broom away underneath his bed and hid in the shadows, trying to avoid waking the other sleepers in the room.
And then he heard footsteps.
Damn. James searched for a spot to hide. Where to hide, where to hide… Ah!
James jumped into his own comfortable bed and crawled under the covers. He had just now realized how idiotic he had been two seconds ago to have not thought of this idea before.
"C'mon, Moony, almost there," a voice whispered and pushed open the dormitory door.
James recognized the voice as Sirius'. Oh no, he moaned to himself. Remus transformed last night. I wasn't there…
There was a small thud and the squeak of springs on a bed bounce up and down. More footsteps and then more squeaks. James waited for the third set of squeaks.
There weren't any.
Slowly, James opened an eyelid a fraction of a centimeter. But once he saw a dark figure standing before him, he shut his eyes as fast as he could manage.
It wasn't until the person, whoever it was, sat down, satisfied, that James even dared to open his eyes in the slightest. He watched as the person who had been watching James "sleep," walked over to Sirius' bed and lay down.
But why was Sirius watching him?
James swallowed and pushed away the guilty and nauseating feeling of leaving out a best friend as he left quickly and quietly to search for food.
!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~Lily~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!
The morning after the funeral, Lily woke with her clothes from yesterday on, all of which were disheveled, and a loud ruckus in the kitchen.
"I told you to be back no later than ten o'clock, young lady! I was up worried sick!"
"Oh, come on," said Petunia's loud and whiny voice. "I wasn't out that late! And plus, I needed some support in my time of trouble! I was merely looking for someone to help me get back on my feet again after the death of my parents!"
"Petunia! You came back at one in the morning! Three hours later! You didn't even bother to phone or tell me you needed support! I might have let you stay longer if I knew you wanted support! I guess you were just thinking you could just waltz right on into the house without any punishment, weren't you? Well, you thought wrong! I may not be your mother, but I am a mother! And as long as I am still a guardian over you and Lily I will treat you both as my own children! Do not even try to think you can get away with this again, or your punishment will be tripled!" Mrs. Anderson yelled.
Lily crawled out from underneath one of her blankets and walked down to the kitchen. Neither of the ladies had noticed Lily yet, however.
"So, what's the penalty?" Petunia asked, almost lazily.
"You're grounded." Mrs. Anderson picked up a dirty pan and began running it under some sink water. "For two weeks."
"Two weeks?!?" Petunia yelled, outraged. "But Mum would never ground me for more than a week!"
"Do I need to make it three weeks?"
"No! I mean, two weeks is fine."
Mrs. Anderson glared at Petunia. "Good. Then don't let it happen again."
"Morning, Mrs. Anderson," Lily piped up from the shadow.
"Oh, Lily, darling, I didn't see you there! How are you this morning?"
"Lily?!?" Petunia shrieked. And then regained her wits and realized another adult was standing in the room. "What are you doing here?"
"Oh, Petunia, relax." Petunia stuck her nose in the air and left through the doorway to enter the next room. "Lily, are you feeling better? When I came home, you were already knocked out and slept that whole time up until now. You're not coming down with something, are you? I saw your window was left open, but I hope that didn't cause you to get sick."
"No, I'm fine. I guess I was just a little tired. But I think I'll be going back after I get dressed again. School's starting up pretty soon. I don't want to be behind in ay of my classes or anything," Lily said, giving a weak smile.
Mrs. Anderson let out a loud sigh from deep in her chest. "I'm sorry, Lily, but my mind is off wandering somewhere else. You know I really didn't want to yell at Petunia like that. I don't even know what you two had to go through in the past few days. Who knows, she may be up in her room crying at this very moment."
Lily highly doubted it. Petunia was similar to Lily in the ways that they tended to grieve. Both held up all of their pain inside of them until there was too much and everything exploded all at once. Lily's explosion, however, had occurred in the past few days. Though Petunia's was more periodically, Lily knew that she would not be up in her room crying.
"If I know Petunia like I do, I would say she's just fine," Lily said.
"Alright, then. So, what were you saying?"
"Just that I was going to leave sometime soon."
"But are you sure you don't want to stay just one more day? You won't intrude, I'm sure," Mrs. Anderson said.
Lily's mind flashed to Petunia's face when they had seen each other that past night. "I'm sorry. I've got last minute homework still," Lily lied. "I actually better get my stuff packed now."
"Oh, did you bring some other clothes? I didn't see any bags of yours around here."
"They're outside. You know, I went straight to the funeral before I came here. And I just left my things outside because I was too tired to bring it in yesterday morning."
"Yes. But that also begs the question: how did you get in?" she asked.
"Uh – I was an expert at lock-picking when I was younger," Lily lied again. "I should really get upstairs now."
"Alright, Lily. Come down if you feel like having any lunch."
"Lunch?" Lily looked at the clock on the wall. It was a quarter until one. "Wow, I slept a lot." Lily let out one last yawn and walked up the stairs.
Lily opened the door and walked inside. It was still her same old room. Nothing had really changed about it. But for some odd reason it felt as if she were stepping into a new world completely. Maybe this was just a strange side effect after your parents…
Lily cringed. It was hard to think about her parents now. It had been much different before. The day that they died, Lily felt as if she wouldn't be able to go on much longer, but that was also before she'd promised herself that she wouldn't be sad. Lily had told herself that no matter how much it hurt, she wouldn't let her guard down. She wouldn't cry over spilt milk.
But isn't this a bit more than spilt milk?
Everything seemed to be building up inside of Lily like a dam, waiting to collapse. And yesterday, seeing everyone, being around her house, the very same house her parents had once played with Lily in, had once stepped foot in; everything began crashing into Lily's organized system of emotions.
But then James came along. Lily never really understood why he told her to cry, and that she couldn't keep it all bundled up inside of her. None of that really did make any sense to her until yesterday; the day she did let it all out.
Lily had spilt all of her emotions onto James. She cried her heart out until she felt there was none left to give.
But yet, James was still there. He stayed with Lily and made sure she got home safe. He held her when she needed holding; he supported her when she needed supporting. It's like James is a new person when he's alone; almost as if he has a split personality. He was actually nice to Lily when none other was around to witness the unbelievable.
But, of course, Lily would never admit any of this stuff aloud. Especially when she still hated his guts.
… She did still hate him – didn't she?
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=Sirius=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Sirius woke up with a throbbing headache that morning. He knew it was because of the night before when he had gone to bring Remus back from the whomping willow. He had, stupidly, not watched where he was walking. Needless to say, a large, low branch must have just jumped into his path when he wasn't looking. Now, in a muggle world, people would think you were just not paying any attention and ran into something without looking. But in the magic world, nearly anything was possible.
He changed into his clothes and walked down to the empty common room. It was a little past eight and no one, to Sirius' knowledge, had woken up besides himself quite yet.
Sirius pulled out his book of drawings from his inner robe pocket along with a muggle pen.
He began to draw a picture of himself on one side of the paper and James on the other. They had their arms slung around each other's shoulders with a grin plastered onto their faces.
Sirius added bits of color here and there until he felt a pair of small, warm hands cover his own eyes.
"Hey, Sirius, that's a good picture," the person said, instead of the traditional, "Guess who!"
"Bella," he sighed, thankful it wasn't anyone else. She waltzed around the chair and sat across from Sirius on the couch.
"What are you doing up? Normally you don't wake up until about eleven," Bella commented.
"Oh, I had some, uh, stuff on my mind."
"Stuff?"
"Yeah," he mumbled, beginning to draw again. "Stuff."
Bella let out a small smile towards Sirius who kept his full focus on the small sheet of paper. "This wouldn't, possibly, have anything to do with James, now, would it?"
"James? No!" Sirius let out a high, false laugh. "Well, sorta, not really. Just a little." Bella narrowed her eyes at Sirius. "Yeah. All James," Sirius sighed, giving up. "But how'd you know?"
"People just have their own ways of thinking things out. You happen to do it the most obvious way of all." She gestured towards his drawing and Sirius glanced at it seeing himself and James staring back. "It's your pictures. Your thoughts come out as art," she said without missing a beat. "So what's wrong?"
Sirius sighed again and dropped his pen, now focusing on Bella. "He's keeping something from me. I have no clue whatsoever, but there's something he's not telling me! It's one of those vibes you get, you know, you can just sense it after awhile. I mean, for the past week or so, James just leaves for a day or two and says he was out with some girl or playing Quidditch. Which, by the way, is a down-right lie because one: he has always played Quidditch with me and two: I talked to his girlfriend from Hufflepuff yesterday; she says she has hardly spoken a mere hello to James in the past two weeks! Wouldn't you find that a little odd?!?" Sirius was now out of his chair, pacing around the room, livid. "And two nights ago he wasn't with us to drop Remus off at the whomping willow, yesterday he wasn't there to bring Remus back, and - "
"What are you going on about, Sirius? What's this about Remus?" Bella asked.
"Shit." Sirius spun on his heels and locked eyes with Bella who looked confused. He immediately headed to her. There was a strong urge to kiss her on spot that Sirius had to fight as hard as he could. "Bella, forget everything I just said. If the guys ever find out what I just said to you, they'd kill me! Don't even tell anyone what you, uh, think I was talking about. I swear, if - "
"Sirius, calm down! Your secret is safe with me. If you don't want me to tell anyone, I won't tell anybody. Not a word," Bella said, pretending to zip up her lips.
Sirius raised an eyebrow. "You promise? You'll tell no one?"
"No one whatsoever," she responded, giving him a kind smile.
"Not even Lily?" he pushed, knowing that this was one of her key weak spots in keeping secrets for others.
"Not even Lily."
Sirius grinned and swept Bella up in a bear hug. After putting her back down on the couch, he sunk in next to her and she saw him visibly relax. "Thank you, Bella."
"Anyway," Bella spoke, "continue with your problems."
"Well, there's not much more to say. James has been lying to me, he's been avoiding me, and not acting like himself! What else is there to say?" Sirius huffed, crossing his arms over his chest.
"You just have to let him work out his own problems."
"No, Bella, you don't understand! He's my best friend – and he's been lying to me! We've been best friends since we met in diapers! We've never hidden anything from each other - "
"Sirius, do you have any idea what you're saying?" Bella asked, smiling. "Have you told James about talking to me at all?"
Sirius paused, glancing at Bella out of the corner of his eye. "Well, no, but - "
"No 'buts', Sirius. It's the same exact thing! Don't you think he might be feeling the same way if he had any suspicions?"
"But I never lied to him!"
"Sirius! Quit coming up with excuses! Lily's been acting the same way all break as well! She came home early and won't even tell us why! People aren't perfect, they're normal! We keep secrets! If we didn't, the world would probably shrivel up and die!" Sirius chuckled as he listened to Bella's speech, and he almost immediately stopped after he started. He stood and walked over to the fireplace, sitting directly in front of it. She sighed and joined his, leaning on his shoulder. "But if it means that much to you, I'll se what I can find out." Sirius turned and grinned down at her.
"You'd do that for me?"
Bella laughed. "Sirius, you ask too many questions." She sat up on her knees. "But - "
"I knew there would be a catch to this…" Sirius grumbled.
"If I get any secrets from him, you'll have to tell him about us 'enemies' becoming friends, alright?"
He moaned. "Why? What he doesn't know can't hurt him!"
"Sirius." Bella narrowed her eyes at him. "You can't have me find out something if you don't tell him anything in return. Now, I suggest that later today you talk to James alone. Tell him that you know there's a secret he's keeping and you want to know what it is so you can help him. Just say that! And… If he says he says he doesn't have any secrets he's keeping from you, then… Well, we'll figure it out from there."
Sirius had a half-smile on his face, glowing from the burning embers left in the fireplace. "Sure."
Bella sighed and gave up. "I'll see you later," she said, giving Sirius a small kiss on the cheek.
All Sirius could do was nod as he watched the last of the embers die out.
It wasn't for another ten minutes that Sirius even budged from his spot. He brought his hand up to his cheek, remembering the kiss and who it was given by.
Sirius grinned.
!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~Lily~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!
"Miss? Excuse me, ma'am?"
Lily woke with a start as a whistle sounded outside her compartment. She glanced around the room and saw the co-conductor standing straight in his red and gold uniform with a small hat on his head to match. Lily thought he didn't look much older than twenty years.
"Miss, I was just wanting to come back to say that we're being close to Hogwarts 'bout now."
Lily yawned and thanked the man. He headed back to the front of the train as Lily tucked her small pillow back inside her trunk.
Her body began to jolt back and forth as the train slowed to s stop and Lily removed her things from the train and stepped onto the familiar grounds of Hogwarts. She looked up at the large castle covered in snow. It was like a small, fragile, glass miniature in a snow globe where the snow all fell in rhythm, together as one.
It wasn't too long until Lily found herself unpacking her trunk again. She sighed and fell onto her bed, molding into the springs underneath her. It was a good thing she had a chance to sleep on the train. Especially when nowadays she had one focus on her mind and it was still that darn James Potter.
Why can't he just leave me alone? she found herself pleading, silently. Why won't he let me work this all out on my own? I have for sixteen years now, why is he just starting to help now?
Lily groaned. Why were people the way they were? And for that matter, why did they have to have feelings and emotions? If Lily couldn't be sad, she wouldn't be sad right now. If Lily couldn't be happy, she wouldn't be happy right now. But… That also begs the question, why was she even happy?
Even Lily didn't know the answer. She knew that ever since her parents had died, she felt like killing herself as well. But she didn't. There was a reason, holding her back. Maybe it was her friends. She probably just didn't want them to be sad once she left. Maybe the whole prospect of magic and Hogwarts held Lily back from killing herself. Maybe James…
Hold it! What are you thinking about, Lily? Why would James be the reason holding you back from killing yourself? That's absurd!
Lily nodded, agreeing with her mind. But something in her heart told her differently. Maybe, if James wouldn't have been there for her when she needed somebody most over break, she might've killed herself.
Lily stared blankly forward, sorting things out. Nothing seemed to be falling into place. At least not quite yet.
Students began returning to their dormitories, stuffed from the large dinner.
"Lily!" Breanna shrieked, running in the room and hugging Lily on the spot. "Where have you been? You just keep disappearing!"
Lily shrugged. "Nowhere special," she lied.
Bella entered, following Breanna. "Oh, hullo Lily. Good to see you again," she said, offhandedly. Bella collapsed onto her bed and pulled out her old diary, writing in it.
Lily, however, hadn't seen Bella writing in it since she had got it from her aunt on Christmas in second year.
"Bella, what on earth have you been doing since I was away? You're writing in your diary again?" Lily asked, shocked by Bella's sudden interest in her diary.
"I'll tell you," Bella replied slyly, "if you tell me why you came back early from break."
"What?!?" Lily exclaimed, shocked at the sudden turning of tables. Lily wasn't exactly quite ready yet to tell her two friends about her problems at home. Lily didn't think she could handle telling such a depressing story to another person until the time was… Until the time is right. But, enough of this, back to the subject at hand! C'mon, girl, get your head back into the game! "I will not do such a thing! I was just asking a simple question! Why make it such a big deal?"
Bella snapped her diary shut with her feather quill inside the pages she had just written and tucked it underneath her pillow. "My question was just as simple as yours, Lily. Why don't you answer it?"
Lily faltered. She saw her point, but refused to give in. She then began laughing, boldly. "Bella, Bella, Bella. I think you're just blowing this whole thing out of proportion! Oh, never mind. I'm going to go work on my potions paper. You know - finishing touches."
"Ok," Bella said. "Mind if I come with?"
"Sure," Lily muttered. The girls walked out the door, with their book bags slung over their shoulders. "Oh, shoot," Lily faked, "I forgot a quill and ink. Hold on, let me grab some. You wait out here, I'll be right back."
"Alright."
Lily ran back inside, closing the door behind her. Ok, now to explore. She ran over to Bella's bed and lifted her pillow, remembering where she had put her diary.
But her diary wasn't the only thing underneath. There was a folded piece of tattered parchment. Lily picked it up and opened it.
Lily's insides squirmed. Potter…
-----------------------------------James-----------------------------------
James walked up the Grand Staircase to Gryffindor Tower. He wasn't in the best of moods, although he wasn't in the worst of moods either.
But he had been doing something he normally wouldn't be caught doing in public. He was thinking, as he had been quite often recently. He thought of Sirius and what he should say to him. There wasn't really anything he could say to Sirius without giving away something about his winter break. He had promised to Lily he wouldn't tell anyone. He'd already broken that promise by telling Remus. If James told Sirius, he might blab to the whole school before daybreak the next day!
But when he had been hovering over James the night before, it was as if he already knew James wasn't asleep. That was the problem with best friends, sometimes.
They know you too well.
Sirius wasn't the only person James had been thinking about all day, though. In fact, he was thought of less than the other person on his mind yet again: Lily.
She just seemed to get herself planted into his head a lot. He couldn't help it! It wasn't his fault that she was so annoying and Irish-tempered –
And beautiful and delicate and one of the bravest people in the world…
Stop it! James nearly yelled aloud. She is not a brave, pretty, little girl! She may think she is, but she's not!
Give it up, that annoying little voice shot back. You like – no – love her. You can't help it. That's just the way love works.
James shook his head, trying to rid himself of the thoughts invading his mind.
He entered through the portrait of the Fat Lady and lay down on the empty couch, massaging his temples. There wasn't anyone in the common room. Nearly everyone had trotted off to their respectable dormitories without a doubt and settled in for an early night in bed.
James closed his eyes, trying to rid himself of the painful pounding in his head.
But to no avail. He began fighting a mental battle with himself.
I have to tell Lily why her parents were killed. She doesn't even know! I'm surprised she hasn't cornered me or anything trying to figure out why I've had all of those premonitions.
Since when do you care what she thinks as long as you get away with something?
She has a right to know why her parents were killed!
But she still hasn't asked you why yet! You even said so yourself! So why tell her?
She has a right!!!
You know, I think this is all just an act of love.
You – James stopped. He was fighting with himself! And it was the most pathetic fight he'd ever had as well! Whatever his other half was thinking, it wasn't right. Lily had a right!
James stood up off of the couch and started walking towards the girls' staircase. He hadn't taken more than one step when he heard a noise.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
Now that, James knew, was not his throbbing headache anymore.
"James! Hold up, I need to talk to you."
He spun and was face to face with Sirius.
James almost took a step away from him, frightened of whatever it was Sirius seemed so eager to talk about, because it obviously had nothing of any sort since there was no trace of a smile anywhere on his face.
"Sirius, this isn't exactly the best - "
He was cut off by footsteps thundering down the girls' staircase. It was Lily, and she was livid.
"James Potter!" she yelled across the common room.
"Uh-oh," Sirius chuckled. "It's your first and last name, Prongs! You're in for it now," Sirius muttered as he stood behind James to eavesdrop.
"What the hell is this?!?" Lily yelled, holding up a folded piece of parchment.
"What is what?" James said, ignoring his migraine.
"Lily!" Bella screeched. "What are you doing? That's mine! You have no right to be in my stuff!"
Another pair of footsteps thundered down the stairs and ran up behind Lily. Bella attempted to pull the thing in Lily's hand away, but failed as James managed to grab it first.
He unfolded the parchment, piece by piece, and stared, open-mouthed, at it.
Sirius, hidden in the shadows, chanced a glance at the paper.
It was a very detailed picture, very neatly drawn. No smudge marks covered the negative space around the picture. Sirius noticed it was a picture of a person. No, it was two people.
Hold on.
Sirius stepped out of the shadows, shocking the girls, and yanked the parchment from James' hands.
It was the very same one he, himself, had drawn for Bella and given to her as a gift.
Bella stepped forward again, past Lily, to confront Sirius. But it wasn't she who spoke first.
"Bella," he whispered, inches from her face. "You broke our promise. You said you wouldn't tell anyone."
"I didn't! Lily - " Bella stopped as she glanced into his stony, gray eyes and felt a shiver run down her spine.
James and Lily began to go off in their own world, bickering.
"Potter, you keep that – that – animal away from m best friend!"
"Animal?!?" James yelled, astounded. "The only animal I see here is you," he hissed, shoving her shoulder. Lily gasped and brought her hand to the place he had touched her. She grew warm and her arm began to tingle. She looked back up, focusing once again on James, and noticed that his gaze was diverted to his own hand with a rosy tinge crawling up across his cheeks.
Lily shook herself out of the reverie and brought back her confident, old self. "If he comes anywhere near Bella or sends her anymore…" Lily fumbled for the right word, " love-pictures - "
"Love-pictures?!?" James yelled, scandalized. "Sirius isn't someone who would fall head-over-heels for an enemy!"
Look at yourself, Prongsie.
James shook away this thought. "Plus, I've never, in my whole life, seen Sirius draw anything more than stick figures!"
"Well, it sure as hell wasn't Bella! She hates you and Sirius and all of your other freaky little friends! She'd never even talk to Sirius without having a good purpose to! And even then, it wouldn't be a civilized conversation!"
Bella shook her head at the childish teenagers. It really was a nice thing they were doing, protecting their best friends (who, by the way, Lily and James were completely oblivious of), but it was for all of the wrong reasons.
Bella hadn't done anything in the first place to cause this to happen! Lily was the one who said she left her quill in the room and needed to get it. But what does she do? She invades Bella's privacy without her permission! Next thing she knew, Lily was bounding out of their dormitory and down the stairs to have another chance to fight James.
But even if it wasn't Bella's fault, Lily somehow managed to find out. And even if it was only a small promise, it was still a promise, none the less.
"Sirius, I swear I - "
"Bella," he whispered again. She began to shake. She almost wished he would yell at her to make a point, but he didn't. She wished he would look away, but he didn't.
Bella also wished that she had hid the drawing in a safer spot, but she hadn't.
Even if you are magical, not all wishes come true.
Bella glanced at Sirius and waited for him to talk.
"I trusted you."
"I know you did, Sirius, and I - "
"You have no idea what this means to me, Bella. If I can't trust you with such a small secret as not telling Lily that we're friends, what can I trust you with now?"
"But I didn't…" Bella's voice trailed off and she began wringing her hands and looking at her feet. She didn't tell Lily about "befriending the enemy." But Sirius was one hundred percent correct. It was her fault she didn't hide the drawing enough to keep a secret.
What about the thing Sirius had slipped to her earlier that morning? How could he be able to trust her now that she couldn't keep the smallest secret in the world? Imagine the burden on his shoulders now…
Bella moved her gaze upward toward Sirius' face again, though his eyes didn't look the same as before.
He didn't look as tough or as strong, now that his face was softened and a small teardrop fell from his eye.
Bella immediately stepped forward, about to comfort him, but he backed away before she even made a move to step forward. And as quick as he could, Sirius grabbed the picture from James' hand and stepped in front of the fire.
Turning, Sirius glanced at Bella again. She watched as his eyes flickered down to her neck. Tentatively, Bella brought her hand up and felt the necklace, the very same one Sirius had given her, dangle loosely.
Swallowing, Sirius crumpled up the drawing and threw it into the fire. It hit one of the logs and fell back out on the floor with one of the corners still smoking.
"Sirius, wait – stop!" Bella called as he ran up the stairs. She stood, unmoving, until she remembered the picture that had fallen out of the fire. Bella went to the fireside and picked up the picture. Half of the picture was in ashes. Bella unfolded what was left.
Instead of a moving, smiling Sirius and Bella, the spell had worn off, somehow being affected by the fire. But that wasn't the only difference; Sirius was no longer in the photo at all. He had been burnt off.
Bella turned and ran up the stairs, clutching the tearstained picture. She ran to her bed and tore the bed hangings shut as she sobbed into her pillow.
Funny how the smallest mistake can end up blowing up in your face.
But Lily and James, still in the common room, carried on bickering, not noticing that they were the only ones left.
(%)(%)(%)(%)(%)(%) Breanna (%)(%)(%)(%)(%)(%)
The minute Breanna had sensed the beginning of an argument brewing in her dormitory between Lily and Bella, she had escaped to the library as quickly as she could.
Nearly every person in the school thought of Breanna as a brainless ditz with no goals whatsoever in life. And when she said nearly everyone, she meant all but one. The funny thing about it all was that the one person who knew her best wasn't even Lily or Bella.
He seemed to have known her even before she started to open up to him. He already knew she wasn't who she appeared to be. He already knew of her fascination with fairy tale stories and their happy endings where the prince always comes and saves the day. He already knew almost every secret she'd kept in her soul up until the moment they became friends. Needless to say, they were extremely good friends.
Breanna slipped around the outskirts of the library, avoiding unwanted stares from bystanders. She sneaked to her usual, hidden spot behind a bookcase filled with books on the topic of the Goblin Rebellion from first year. No one ever came back here. The assignment for Goblin Rebellions was so easy there was no need to even get a book to understand it.
She curled up in a large, comfortable chair, nearly twice her size. Breanna was particularly small for her age. She had thick locks of wavy, brown hair that was currently pulled up into a loose bun with strands falling out and framing her face. Her eyes were one of the prettiest things of all of her features. They were a bright hazel, not as dark as most hazel-colored eyes were. If you looked into her face, her eyes were always the most energetic thing on her as they sparkled whenever she spoke.
Breanna was engrossed in yet another fairy tale book when he found her at nearly nine thirty that night.
"Hey, Breanna. Where've you been? I was looking for you since after lunch."
"Oh, hey. Bella and Lily started to get in a fight and I left our room.
"Yikes," he muttered and sat on a foot stool near Breanna. "What are you reading?"
"Oh, it's called Snow White. Lily gave it to me. It's a muggle book. I'm at the part where Snow White just ate a poisonous apple."
"Exciting," the boy murmured, watching her face as she talked, entranced.
"Lily said that Prince Charming is going to come at the end of the book and save her," Breanna said, flipping the page.
"Oh, why'd she spoil it?"
Breanna just shrugged. "I don't care."
The boy smiled. "I best be going. You know, check to make sure the common room isn't a mess. And you may want to get back up to your dormitory soon as well. Madame Pince is going to start searching the library for stray readers and check to see that no one is left."
"She won't check here, but I'll come up in a bit anyways. Let me just finish this chapter," Breanna said, smiling at him.
"Ok. See you later, Breanna."
"Bye, Remus."
-----------------------------------James-----------------------------------
"No it wasn't! Sirius would never do that!" James yelled.
"Oh, yes he would!" Lily said, crossing her arms.
James glared at her and finally let out a final huff. "Just go away! You don't have your facts right – 'because it wasn't Sirius!"
"Fine!" she shrieked. "I will!" And in a flash of red hair, Lily had left the common room, marching down the hallways where Remus just passed her and entered the common room.
"Er – Prongs, buddy. What on earth did you say to her? She looks like a flaming tomato!"
James shrugged. "So?"
Remus shook his head. "So… What's the deal?"
James groaned and stomped up to his dormitory, Remus close in pursuit.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=Sirius=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
The minute Sirius threw his drawing into the fireplace, he ran straight up to his dormitory, scared. Why he was scared, Sirius wasn't exactly sure.
He shut the door behind him, leaving the lights off, and crawled onto his bed, closing his bed hangings.
And did the one thing he hadn't done since he was ten years old. He cried. But the worst part about it was that he didn't even know why. Maybe it was just all of those small things in life combined. Maybe it was because of his encounter with Bella. He didn't know.
After about ten minutes, his sobs had died down and Sirius began to sort out his thoughts. What would happen now? What was Bella doing? Was she ok? What was she thinking? Did she even care? His head continued to fill with various questions similar to these.
Sirius wiped a few tears away with his pillow and his mood began to change. This whole thing is so stupid! It wasn't even her fault! I got mad at her for nothing! It was just a small promise. It wasn't as if Lily and James wouldn't find out soon. I was going to tell James today anyway! I'm such a prat! I can't believe I got mad at Bella. I don't think she'll ever forgive me.
And then his self-idiocy shifted to anger. But I can't believe James and Lily are still in the common room arguing! It's almost as if they enjoy it! And they're fighting for all of the wrong reasons.
This was how his mood stayed for nearly the rest of the night. Well, that is, until around ten thirty when two figures entered the dormitory when his mood changed to curiosity. Peter had already came in directly after dinner and fallen asleep as his snores filled the room constantly. James and Remus were the only two who had not come back from wherever they had been.
They talked in silent whispers for awhile until James finally shushed Remus in the middle of a sentence and pulled out his wand, muttering a spell and Peter's snores turned quiet.
"Sorry 'bout that, Remus. Couldn't hear a word you were saying. Start back at the beginning, now," James said, collapsing onto his bed which lies between Sirius' and Remus' beds.
"Well," Remus said, sitting on his own bed, "I just wanted to know what happen yesterday and all." Sirius raised an eyebrow. Did Remus know more than he did? Or was he just as curious as Sirius was? "Were you with Lily again?"
Sirius' jaw dropped. James – with Lily – away from Hogwarts – without being forced. Now that was just something you never hear everyday.
James sighed and lie on his back, staring at the hangings above his head. "I'm so confused, Remus. Can't we talk about this some other time? I still need time to sort this all out."
"I take that as a yes."
"Remus, please let me sleep. I feel like my brain is going into hyper drive. There's so much going on and I need more time!"
"James, you've had hours and hours of 'quiet time' to yourself without interruption. You need to talk this out. You need help deciding what to do, don't you?" Remus said.
James groaned. "How do you know all of this, Moony? You're good."
"I know."
James let out a soft chuckle.
"Ok, so why'd you leave this time? What happened?"
James started into his story. "You remember how Lily's parents died? Well, Lily left to go to their funeral. And I thought that, since I had been, well," James swallowed, "the – er – cause of their deaths, I should go to the funeral and make sure Lily didn't do anything drastic. I know it may be hard to believe, but Lily's not as predictable as I thought she was. I mean, have you ever seen her cry at anything before? Even in first year?"
Silence. Sirius assumed that Remus must have shaken his head because James continued with his talk. "Exactly. You know that she cried once her parents were killed, but I know that the minute she left Dumbledore's office after explaining what happened, she stopped. She's never cried in public. But at the burial, something happened. She – I don't know what it was. Some part of her must have broken down and she had nothing left to support her then. And she just cried; in front of nearly fifty people. And I don't think there was much family of hers there. It was in front of people she probably hardly knew. She just – broke. Do you understand what I'm talking about, Moony?"
Remus spoke. "I'm pretty sure I know what it is you're talking about. But why did she break down then?"
"Dunno. I remember, when my parents died, I felt as if I was losing part of myself once they left me. But that was when I saw them die. I didn't cry much at the burial." Sirius pulled back a corner of the hangings around his bed and watched Remus and James just in time to see a look of realization fall across James' face. "I think I know what happened. She keeps stuff bottled up inside of her for so long, it all has to eventually come out at one point. And I think that the thought of never physically seeing her parents again once they lowered their coffins in the ground was too much and threw her emotions haywire. She just… Lost it."
Remus smiled. "You're making it sound as if this is uncommon. James, a lot of people cry at burials!"
"Yes, I know, Remus. But this is Lily we're talking about! That's not like her. She was talking to me later as if I were really her friend. And, you know," James swallowed.
"No," Remus said clearly, "I don't know."
James rolled his eyes and sighed. "I thought that everything between us was finally calm and we were on a good basis. But then, when she fought me in the common room earlier…"
Sirius cringed at the thought of the fight earlier.
"James, I think that she was probably feeling just as confused as you by then and didn't really know what to do."
"Yeah, maybe." There was silence. "And there's another problem I've got."
"Yes?"
"It's, uh," James glanced over at Sirius' bed to see the hangings closed and unmoving. Sirius, however, still managed to peek out and he, himself, swallowed.
"Sirius?"
"Yes. I kinda feel guilty for not telling him about any of this. He knows, too, and I know it! Well, he doesn't know what it is, but he knows I'm keeping something from him. The way he's been acting and everything, he knows."
Sirius raised an eyebrow. Well, only part of that statement was right.
Remus nodded his head, thinking. "So are you going to tell him?"
"I don't know! That's kind-of my problem here, Remus! I know that he's my best friend and all, but he can't keep any secrets! I tell him one day I'm thinking about asking some girl out, he'll go and tell the whole school before I even see her the next day! He's only ever kept one secret in his life and that's you being a werewolf as well as becoming animagi."
"James, you're forgetting some key points there, though. Me being a – er – werewolf and you three becoming animagi is very important to keep secret and tell nobody. He understands the seriousness of that situation. Now, you would tell him you're going to ask a girl out, but he doesn't find that in any way important or life risking, so he doesn't bother keeping it secret!"
"But still, there's only one thing he's ever kept quiet!"
"And how do you know that, James? What if he was told a secret from another person – what if I told him something that I didn't tell you and Peter. If he kept that secret, you would never know that he was keeping something from you, now would you?"
Sirius smiled. Remus was always on his toes. And Sirius was thankful that he could defend him on such short notice.
James started to talk again. "But still - "
Sirius, not wanting to hear any more of James' insistence on keeping this a secret from Sirius himself, made a big show out of rolling over and the noisy springs on his bed and letting out a soft snort as if he were about to snore. Then he began breathing deeply to make it seem as if he were still in a heavy sleep.
"Er, Moony, can we finish this some other time?"
Remus shook his head and crawled under the covers, three of the four boys still in their clothes from that day. "But you have to tell Sirius. If you let him know that, to you, this is a serious situation, he won't tell anyone! James, you need to have trust in him."
Sirius smiled to his bed hangings. We'll see what happens tomorrow…
!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~Lily~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!
Once her fierce fight with James had ended, Lily left the common room and went straight to the spot where she always went to after a fight with James Potter; her wall.
But Lily was so caught up in actually trying to get there that she almost forgot her last visit.
Lily stopped in her tracks, standing underneath a flaming candle. After a few minutes of silence, Lily continued walking, looking for another place to hide.
But she never made it to where she wanted to. There was something – or someone in her way. At first she thought it was a teacher, but then she noticed that this person, whoever it was, did not seem as if they enjoyed wandering the halls that night.
Lily hoped that the person would move just a few inches so she could see their face. And then they did.
It was Amos Diggory. Being the Head Boy his last year here, Amos had night duty every other night, opposite the Head Girl.
Lily did some thinking, and smiled. It wasn't a good smile, though; almost an evil smile.
Excited, Lily turned and ran back to her dormitory, much giddier than before.
AUTHORS NOTE: Thanks for reading and putting up with the long delay! And PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review and tell me what you liked/didn't like and what you think I could improve on. Example: words I continue using and it gets annoying and such! Just GIVE ME FEEDBACK! PLEASE!
REVIEW SECTION:
Icy Flame: Thank you! I'm really glad you like my writing!
Musicaldreams09: Ok, thanks for helpful information! I tried to slow it down a little in this chapter, but I'm not sure if it worked. Tell me whether I'm still going too fast or whatnot in your review! Thanks!!!
KeeperOfTheMoon: It is kind-of lucky James was there, wasn't it? Thanks for reviewing!!!
Marauderbabe76: No, being blonde has nothing to do with it! I didn't really explain it that well. Lily was just trying to be strong and that's why she was trying to get over her parents death so quickly. I sort-of tried to explain in this chapter that she was trying to hold everything in but in Ch. 8 she just let everything out and cried at the burial and all. Almost as if everything caved in on her in the end, you know? If you're still confused, tell me and I'll try to clear it up even more if I can! Thanks for reviewing!!!
Plush Appeal: Thanks! I'm glad you like fluff! :) I'm the same way! This chapter was more depressing, not much fluff. I think that there might be some Lily/James fluff in the next chapter more! Thanks for reviewing!!!
Pineapplehead: I like you pen name! :) And thanks for reviewing!!!
Shree: Hope you got caught up on the homework even though it was over three months or so ago! :) Thanks for reviewing!!!
Hazelmist: ::sigh:: Yes, love is in the air! This chapter wasn't all that fluffy, but except some fluff next chapter! Thanks for reviewing!!!
Silent-Wishes: I know! It really was sad. Thanks for reviewing!!!
Gooey Gooey Coca Beans: Aw! Thanks! ::hugs:: And thanks for reviewing!!!
Cay: Thank you! And thanks for reviewing!!!
Kuki: Thanks! And thank you for reviewing!!!
Fairy D. Jamie L. Amelia B.: You cried? Aw! Thanks for reviewing!!!
Gryffindor Girl: Yay! Number one hundred!!! Thanks for reviewing!!!
BastsCleopatra: Sirius gives tips… Hmm, not exactly! :) Thanks for reviewing!!!
Blahblah: Thanks! And the J.K. Rowling comment – WOW!!! That's REALLY big!!! THANK YOU!!! And thanks for reviewing!!!
Hermione101888: You cried??? Seriously??? Aw!!! Thanks for reviewing!!!
TriGemini: Thank you for all of those nice comments! And thanks for reviewing!!!
Mr. Spock: Thanks! :) I'll try to make some stuff more convincing! Thanks for reviewing!!!
Forever-Phoenix: I'm sorry it's a cliffhanger! I know this one's probably an even bigger cliffhanger, though! Sorry! And sorry the L/J romance wasn't serious, but I think from here on out, they may not argue as much anymore!
Amelia: Thanks! And thanks for reviewing!!!
Friendsfan723: Major twist, yes, well, sorta, I guess! And I did write more about Bella/Sirius this chapter so I hope you liked it! Thanks for reviewing!!! And, er, on a more personal note – thanks for the bump on my head! :) I'M KIDDING!!!
Amsandrew1: Thank you! And thanks for reviewing!!!
Jenna: I actually don't know whether the book said that Petunia always hated Lily or not. But I don't think that Petunia just decided she didn't like Lily cause she was there so there must have been some reason! I'll check the book sometime later and I'll e-mail you if I find out. Thanks for reviewing!!!
Lil' Lily In A Pond: Thank you! And thanks for reviewing!!!
Hpfan1750: Oh, what song were you listening to? Wait, you probably don't remember anymore! I took so long… :) Thanks for reviewing!!!
Dieselbaby: Aw, thanks! And thanks for reviewing!!!
Elizabeth Martin: Thanks! And I keep forgetting to read your story! Ok, remind me to do that!!! Thanks for reviewing!!!
SVZ: Thanks! And thanks for reviewing!!!
xLil azn d3vilx: Sorry I kept reading! :) Thanks for reviewing!!!
Lady of the Willow: Thank you! And thanks for reviewing!!!
dREaM cHicK: Sorry sorry sorry!!! Cliffhangers are my specialty, let's say! And they'll probably get together in (at the very least) two chapters, but possibly three or maybe even four. I dunno! And thanks for reviewing!!!
The Chinky Idiot: Hope you liked the chapter! Thanks for reviewing!!!
Sezzie (can't be stuffed signing in): You're lazy! :) Yes, and I have to agree with you – SIRIUS RULES!!! Thanks for reviewing!!!
FEAngel258: I'm glad you like the whole Sirius with his drawings! I was afraid that it would've been either stupid or something that was used too often already. Thanks for reviewing!!!
PCR: Thanks for all of the nice comments! And thanks for reviewing!!!
FEAngel258: Hmm… You seem to have written two reviews… Are you anxious, child??? :)
Tapaidh Sidh: Thanks for all of the nice comments!!! And thank you for reviewing!!! And, also, thank you SOOOOOO much for the book five excerpt!!! It's so funny because I show people the excerpt, and they think that it's not true! :) And, yes, you reviewed twice! But – ha – you can't suspend Suspended now!!! I UPDATED!!! :)
Grey Sky Morning: Yes, stupid me, the whole eye color thing! Thanks for pointing it out! Just so you know, his eyes are blue and that's that! I was actually trying to decide what they were in the beginning and I think I kept changing it, so… ya. I'll have to go back and fix it all now. Thanks for reviewing!!!
NEXT CHAPTER: What's Lily's evil plan??? Hmm… Maybe we'll find out!!! Maybe a bit more of Remus and Breanna, maybe some of Sirius and Bella (haven't decided yet) but I know that there will be some James and Lily – but not necessarily all fluff James and Lily. And I think you also get to find out WHY Lily's parents were really killed! OOH!!! Exciting, no???
Thank you all SOOOOOOOOOO much!!!!! I'll try to update a little quicker than in three months next time, ok???
Yours truly,
Amelia Bedelia
