(A/N): Yay finally updated! And L&F S&S wont b updated til I got chapter 15 and 16 BETAed- itd b evil of me 2 just leave it at 15. A lil bit of Connor-abuse ahead, sorry Angel-daddy. Ummm yeah. Byz.
PRECIOUS DESTRUCTION
CHAPTER 3: Poisoned Pasts
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18.23.20.28.27. Linwood pulled out the knob and a glowing button appeared above all the others, swirling with pure translucent light and creating a humming noise throughout the elevator. As he pushed it, everything faded away to white and he suddenly found himself standing in a large expanse of space, the horizon and everything around him almost too brilliantly bright to look at for long.
"Hello."
He turned and directly behind him, as if there the whole time, was a little girl in a dress sitting calmly in a white chair. Linwood smiled.
"Hello, Red." That was his nickname for her. The thing was obsessed with the color. Everytime he visited wearing something red, she commented on how she liked it. He had wanted to ask her why at one time but feared it was out of line. She was a being from another realm working for a higher power and every time she spoke, her lips would curl in a malicious smirk as if sickened and entertained at the same time.
Red was the obvious color of blood. Linwood felt that was why.
"Youre not wearing red today." Her voice sounded childish and hurt, but her eyes were cold.
"No, but I'll bring you something special next time."
"No you wont, but that doesnt matter. Youre here to ask me for something. Something to help you with your revenge against the vampire, Angel." Linwood nodded and she continued. "He's found his son and you want to cause them trouble." She smiled. "I like trouble but..." Now her lips culed upwards and tone grew deeper. "I HATE chaos."
"I dont understand."
"Angel will have enough problems with that boy. The baby is now the Destroyer. His mind and body have been touched by evil just as Quor-toth is filled with darkness. Everything he knows is corrupted. You will only add on to the chaos of their lives."
Linwood suddenly grinned and stepped forward as Red looked up at him, smiling almost pleasantly. "But I know you will help me."
"Dont get too cocky." She tilted her head to the side and stared at him. "How do you know?"
Linwood bent down then stood up straight, in his hand a vial of dark blue liquid. "Why else would you leave me this?"
"Again, I say, dont get too cocky." She gave a musical laugh, waving her hand, and he was gone in a blazing white flash.
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"This can be your room." Angel swung open the door, raising his arms to usher the boy in, but Connor quickly walked ahead, effectively getting away from the touching hands. Angel gave no sign that he noticed. "My room is close-by, just down the hall. I mean, not TOO close but...not too far either." He put his hands on his hips, looking slightly apprehensive. "Do you like it?"
Connor stayed silent and quietly moved to the small bed to sit down, all the while staring back at the man warily.
"The walls are blue," Angel went on cheerfully, motioning around him. "I thought you might like the color. I know most kids like blue. And...if you choose to stay here, we could fix up the room a little bit. Its pretty bare. Maybe some pictures and a computer and books...Not that Im trying to tempt you to stay," he added in almost nervously, trying to look everywhere but at his son. "I mean, I WANT you to stay but...Well, 'but' isnt really a good word to put there. I just...I mean, I really just want..." He trailed off, looking lost while rubbing his forhead, then crossed his arms over his chest, finally flicking a quick glance at the silent boy. "Is there anything you need before I leave? A glass of water?"
Connor slowly shook his head no.
"Are you still hungry? Maybe a snack?"
Connor automatically clutched at his stomach, trying not to make a face, but Angel saw past that and was instantly by his side, much to the boy's chagrin.
"What is it? Whats wrong? You have to tell me if your still hungry-"
"No, its nothing," came the calm reply as Connor turned away. He felt weak enough as it was; he didnt need the other man knowing anything else. He hurt. He had finally let his mind accept that even though his stubborn pride wouldnt admit to it yet. And the pain was coming from his stomach- not any other part of his body, just his belly area, but it was spreading upwards towards his chest and throat.
He didnt understand it, but the thought of more food was not making it go away. If anything, it made his middle clench even more painfully.
"Ok, well if youre still here in the morning, I'll be cooking breakfast. Do you want anything speci-" While talking, he sat down and had reached forward to affectionately ruffle the boy's somewhat greasy brown hair but Connor leaned back quickly, resting his head on a pillow, achieving the desired distance away from the vampire before the hand could make contact. A flash of hurt blazed into the immortal's eyes but he shoved it quickly away, gazing down at his son with a soft smile.
A longing smile.
"You dont need anything then? No questions? Nothing?" he asked, almost hoping the boy desired SOMETHING, but deflated as Connor slowly shook his head, staring up at him with a blank look.
"Alright." Angel gazed back silently, hand itching to reach out and remove the hair from the bright blue eyes, but knowing fully well the boy would move away again. After a moment more of looking down at his son and his son staring back, Angel tilted his head, eyes questioning. "What is it?"
Blue eyes stared up at him, not giving an answer.
Angel had another urge to reach out but held it back. "Is there something wrong?"
Connor's stare turned defiant instantly, but he turned away, instead opting to look out the window. Angel waited another moment and when his son gave no sign of answering, he leaned in to whisper a quiet goodnight just as the boy turned to him, eyes dark and voice low. "I dont like this world."
Angel leaned back, confused.
"But," Connor continued, now looking confused himself but also distrusting. "You arent how Father said you'd be."
"...What did he tell you, Connor?"
Connor ignored the vampire, staring out the window again. Everything seemed to fade out.
"In the name of the Father." A dark vertical line of ash was put on the young boy's forhead as he kneeled before the other man, shirtless and trembling. "In the name of the Son." A horizontal line was then placed crossing the first line. A finger smudged with ash then lowered to the boy's thin chest, creating the same symbol there as well, too. The man leaned back from his spot on the ground, noticing the sky growing darker around them. God was angry.
"By this sign of the holy cross of thou Lord Jesus Christ who lives and was raised with the Father and the Holy Spirit- may it be He that shall pass Judgement on all souls before Him and may it be this vessel that shall be delivered Judgement by the Word before it. So it is said, so shall it be."
After a moment of hesitantly looking back at the penetrating eyes before him, the boy finally spoke. "Does the Lord still live with His Father?"
"Yes. He was raised by the Father and is forever learning new things."
"And Hi- THE Father loves Him?"
"Yes. The Father loves His Son, loves ALL His children. Every father does."
"What of mine?" the boy questioned quietly, looking at the ground, then spoke up louder. "What of my father?"
"I'M your father."
"I know that," the boy replied quickly, feeling the cold prick of dangerous eyes fixing on him. "I meant the other one,...Father. Did...Did he love me?" Again, his voice came out small and weak, and he cursed it, not wanting to anger the man in front of him.
"No," the man replied coldly. "He did not love you, Stephen. He despised you from the moment you were conceived, and at the moment of your birth, he tried to kill you. He wanted to end your life just as he ended the lives of MY children. He did not care that you were his own." The man watched with sick satisfaction as the boy's eyes brimmed with tears of hurt that were quickly and angrily wiped away. "And thats when I saved you. God gave me to you and you to me. Your own father didnt want you and abandoned you, then tried to kill you. On every level, that monster betrayed you, but for a father to wish death on his own son is the cruelest level of them all."
"Which level are you then?"
/SMACK/ The boy's head spun to the side, an angry red welt appearing and soon disappearing just as quickly.
"Watch your tongue, boy," the man hissed, hand still raised.
"Yes, Father," came the boy's quick, mechanical reply.
"You compelled me to hit a child bearing the mark of God. You shame me, Stephen."
"Please forgive me, Father."
"I will." The man reached forward and smeared both crosses, the boy flinching under the rough touches.
Daniel Holtz smirked. The boy was defiled once again. "Let the Judgement begin."
Connor visibly flinched again as the memory thankfully ended, the skin on his cheek burning as if the second slap had connected somehow through time and space.
"Connor?" Angel's voice was worried and Connor looked up at him, wondering why.
"Stephen," he corrected quietly. He hated that name, cursed the man that gave it to him and cursed the monster that allowed him to be called it.
"No, its Connor."
The boy stilled, eyes quickly darting to look at him, but Angel only smiled, reaching out again, relieved when the boy didnt shift away.
A cold hand weaved through the boy's hair and after a while, Connor's body relaxed, eyes closing shut, even as his mind screamed that the dead was touching him. A small tremor ran through him as he sensed the vampire moving closer, but he didnt move away like all instincts were shrieking at him to. He, instead, took guilty pleasure from the fingers carressing his hair, trying hard to ignore where the touches were coming from, even as the gentle cold fingers strayed to carress up and down his cheeks.
The dead couldnt hurt him.
Vampires were dead, but he had the knowledge to kill them before they could do anything.
'He' was gratefully human as well as dead, and by no ordinary means, could come back to life.
Angel was dead. And also, in a way, alive. He had a soul and that very soul acted as if it couldnt hurt another living creature, but Connor knew better. 'He' had also had a soul and was human but obviously hadnt followed the same guidelines. A soul meant nothing. If what 'he' had said before was true, then he wasnt given a second chance at a life he so desperately wished for, a life with a father that loved him and never hurt him, but a second chance at death, this time happiness fabricated to conceal a monster intending to kill.
In his eyes, it could be both ways.
His diluded thoughts came to a halt as a soft but deep voice whispered next to his ear. "You cant always look at the bad, Connor. If you choose to stay here with me, I will show you the good." Connor slowly opened his eyes to stare up into passionate and loving ones. He opened his mouth to question the dead thing staring down at him with so many confusing emotions, but abruptly closed it. He hadnt decided anything yet. Asking questions would acknowledge a decision he still hadnt even made.
So he stayed silent, staring up at the creature he had priveledged with the name "Dad", and as it touched and carressed him so gently, his own body betrayed him, and he fell soundlessly asleep.
Angel gazed down at his son, allowing a wide smile to finally break free as the boy's deep blue eyes closed in slumber, awed by the fact the wary young soul before him had so trustingly fallen asleep beneath his hands.
Connor was beautiful. Clearly and undeniably so. Angel knew all parents felt that way about their children, he too had felt it as he held his baby for the first time, but the fifteen year-old boy before him exuded something else entirely. He could distinctly see Darla within his features, and no matter how much he yearned for it, he saw almost nothing of himself carried along to his offspring.
Then again, that could be taken as a gift. Connor was something else entirely. His face portrayed innocence while his small form professed vulnerability, something Angel saw and knew to be far from the truth. The boy was a puzzle, an enigma, a vow impossibly created, a precious miracle lost on a creature cursed both ways. Angel's hand clenched as those words tumbled through his head. He gazed down at his son again, willing his fingers to leave the soft strands of hair but was unsuccessful, noticing with almost swelling pride as the boy turned into his touch, as if acknowledging it and allowing it, before turning his head away again, chest rising slowly and rhythmically with each breath.
His son lived and breathed. Had a soul. Had a pulse. Had a heartbeat. The vampire could see it and hear it. The noises were all around and he could sense every little thing that radiated from the boy before him. The feeling was intense. It was like a type of sweet liquor rushing through his system, making him light-headed and dizzy and giddy and abnormally happy, all with a sense of power like nothing could stop him if he stayed forever this way.
And also sick.
Even with the sweetest of alcohols, the outcome at the end was always the same, a feeling of extreme sickness and desire for death as the misery went on and on.
Because thats what it was.
When taken away.
Angel's hand shook as he finally pulled it away, turning away from the beauty that could heal as well as scar. Connor taken away from him again would kill him, in every sense of the word possible. A stake in the heart would be something to laugh at in comparison but something also wished for if every fear concerning his son was to ever be made truth.
The vampire allowed one more loving glance to his child, relishing in the strange peacefulness of the boy who no longer held shadows beneath his eyes or on his face, before silently moving away to the door and closing it behind him, face once again edged with worry, but a newer one, as his hand stilled on the cold doorknob.
He didnt think he could wait until morning for the boy's answer. And accept the answer if it wasnt the one he wished to hear from the bottom of his unbeating heart. But hearing something sooner would surely lead to a negative. Atleast the morning would bring a hope.
Angel rested his forehead against the wood of the dark door, sighing as his body snarled at the fact that the familiar poison was now seperating him from the boy he desired so greatly.
"I love you, Connor," he whispered, voice thick with emotion, and after a moment, he turned away, shoving his hands deep into his pockets, face now carrying its usual brooding look.
Wood was not the poison laced throughout the boy's mind.
As Angel made his way downstairs, his vampire hearing dulled with his heavy heart, not at all picking up the soft whimper of fear or hearing the small cry of pain from the room his most precious thing rested in.
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(A/N): Yep, thanks 4 all the reviews! XD Email me if u wanna.
