(A/N): Wow, chapter 4. Poor Connor.
You'll understand soon enough why I have Connor using 'HE' alot when referring to Holtz. And just 2 let u know, the RED in the sky of Quor-toth means its midday. R&R if u wanna. Or email, watever /shrugs/.
PRECIOUS DESTRUCTION
CHAPTER 4: Bitter Betrayals
4444DADDYDADDYDADDYDADDYDADDYDADDYDADDY
As he slept, as slumber caught him against his will but much to his inner urgings, pain tore through his quivering body, twisting his empty dreams to ones of memories never to be forgotten. The pain didnt feel the same. It was strong and in the same regions like before, but it was different. His belly groaned and shifted but before, on his fourth night of tracking, he remembered his stomach burning and aching like that.
The first night, he had been seven and excited because 'he' had told him he was finally going to learn how to track, how to be stronger. He had already learned to hunt when in the proximity and to kill when told to, but tracking was something different all together. 'He' told him it was to be done alone and without help, to prove he was a man, to show he was POWERFUL enough to face everything else his home had to offer and that God was willing to bestow upon him.
'He' led him harshly through the woods, seeing upon the boy's face an eagerness to learn and nothing more. He was a fast-learner and had learned quickly to never question what 'he' did to him.
But fear was not so compliant.
Stephen was tied to a large tree, surrounded by nothing but foliage that obscured his view of beyond. And 'he' had just walked away, ordering over 'his' shoulder not to move until the orange of the sky had deepened to an angry purple. A full day.
Stephen could do that.
So he waited then escaped easily, the ropes ripping under his impatient movements. The goal was to find 'him', to track 'him', and it was his own mission to fulfill that before the sky lightened to orange again.
He then ran and leapt, following 'his' scent until he found 'him' hours later, standing calmly in a clearing smeared with red. And he had stared curiously at the somewhat pleased man in front of him because bodies littered the area.
Father had killed waiting for him.
The second big track was on his tenth birthday. It would be a REAL one, 'he' had said, a test to see how well his senses held up.
'He' had again tied him to a tree, the same tree, and ran off, shouting to wait two full days before escaping. So he listened and waited, ignoring the hunger pains, then broke free and chased after the scent he knew all too well, but demons delayed him and magic surrounded him at one point, so it was not until the fifth day that his test had come to an end. 'He' had run far, all the way to a high-ranking shaman hut atleast four valleys over, and was sitting calmly at a table when Stephen walked in and sat down, looking weak and defeated.
Because he was just that.
He had failed in some way.
The third time, he was nearly twelve and had felt a cloud of darkness settle over the area the night before. 'He' had taken him somewhere far and dangerous as the sky churned purple, and had tied him in between two trees, spread eagle and defenseless, standing up. 'He' then looked him in the eyes and told him not to wait, and to escape quickly. Then 'he' ran off, never looking back.
Stephen was confused. Why did Father not give him two days like before? Or a day even? He was stronger now!
Then, he saw why.
He was in the middle of a camp. A camp full of large demons. And he could smell the fever that had overtaken them. He started to struggle just as they awoke, quickly climbing out of their respective places, eyes crazed with sickness and delirium. They all saw the boy in the middle of their land, all alone. And they all shared the same thought.
Food.
It took him a day to run free, covered head to toe in demon blood and his own blood, and he found 'him' quickly because the man was just outside the camp, looking on.
Father had watched the whole thing.
"You didnt kill them all," 'he' stated coldly. "You let one escape."
"Yes, Father."
"Because you were afraid." 'He' said the word as if it had turned into bile within 'his' mouth.
"...Yes, Father." Stephen knew Father could see his small body shake. From exertion, he told his shameful mind, but he knew it was from the other.
Fear.
And the fourth time was the last time he would ever be tested to track Father. 'He' had told him that the day before, and on that night, he was given a cup of dark liquid that he thought was the same liquid 'he' favored so much. But it wasnt, and when the sky had changed its colors, he was hauled out of their hut, much to the protests of his hurting body. A pain had seared through him overnight and made his thirteen year-old body ache and burn. But no matter how hurtful the burn, his anger burned stronger. Father had poisoned him! And left him tied to a tree as 'he' fled yet again just as the demons circled and crept closer to the young boy who's slight frame shook with hurt and sobs of betrayal. The night was filled with his tortured screams and cries as every creature nearby with a bloodthirsty wrath savagely clawed and beat and mauled his unmarred skin that, in vain, tried to heal itself by superhuman methods.
No one came, not even Father, but 'he' had never come before, so Stephen did not expect it. Not once did he wish for death, though, even as the biggest monster he had ever seen stepped before him. The demon spoke in Quor-toth tongue which Stephen was taught but never spoke himself. He would never have evil come from his mouth, even as 'he' beat him because he would not repeat what certain shamans of power had told him.
"I know you understand me, human child," the demon spoke and crept closer, letting a dirty finger caress the boy's tear-stained cheek. Stephen thought about biting the digit, his hands being still bound, then cringed at the thought.
"Such a child but...never before have I seen such beauty."
"Im not a child," Stephen snarled and he proved his words correct, creating his own beauty as his restraints broke from around the tree. Fear could not stop him when fueled with anger.
The blood was familiar when flowing on him and from him, and he became even more enraged by that fact, because the evil was tainting him and covering him even as he fought against it. The darkness was touching him, and as he slashed and slaughtered those around him in a frenzy, he couldnt help but notice and FEEL it was all the same.
The same as 'his' touch.
But he shook that thought away, creating a path towards freedom out of demon bloodshed and horrified shrieks of the dying. God did not side with darkness and the Word could not commune with it.
He finally broke free and ran, hearing splatters and moans from behind him as his anger burned brighter. The second day was no less, his rage still being fueled as he killed anything in his way. And the third day was the same if not better because his body was no longer pained with the poison. He returned to the hut even before 'he' got there, and when the man opened the door and saw the boy sitting there, breathing somewhat raggedly, he smiled, something not done often, and clapped a thin shoulder almost harshly in approval.
Stephen was shocked as his own body went against him and swelled with the parental gratification it was given, but he did not forget the betrayal that was done, so his eyes hardened as 'he' sat down across from him.
"Three days..."
Stephen said nothing, but sat up straighter, raising his head proudly.
"Why didnt you pray, Stephen?"
"There was no need to."
"You were outnumbered and weak."
The boy only shrugged.
"When afraid, children pray to God to come and save them."
"Im not a child. And God wanted me to kill, not pray."
'He' nodded, liking the boy's answer. "Then you are ready." Daniel Holtz could now see the anger within the boy's deep blue eyes, congratulating himself on having put it there, and at that moment, he knew he finally had the power to harness that emotion. The boy in front of him was finally ready to be the warrior he was born to be. The killer he was MEANT to be.
And the ruthless mercenary Holtz, himself, would forge him to be.
"We need to pray, Stephen. We need to pray for your soul, and that the monster who created you does not come looking to claim it."
The boy opened his mouth to question, but a look from 'him' and he was quickly silenced.
"Yes, Father." The anger still coursing through him covered the ever-present fear and gave him enough power not to cringe this time from the brutal touches that awaited him. So much power, in fact, that he didnt even flinch as the man got up and soundlessly reached for him.
But the anger could not stop the cries that escaped his trembling lips that night from within the hut as his blood ran free once again.
4444DADDYDADDYDADDYDADDYDADDYDADDYDADDY
"So, how is the not-so-little guy?" Lorne asked casually, pouring himself a steaming cup of coffee and watching as the vampire somberly tread down the stairs, a frown on his face.
"He...seems fine."
"And still here. Seemingly, that is." He watched the vampire do his nightly routine of pouring himself a glass of blood. "You know, Angel, not that this would really matter and all, but..." Lorne brought the coffee to his lips and directed his gaze to the stairs, trailing off. He had very much been aware of everything going on when father and son had returned that night and had caught a glimpse, a quick one seeing as how the boy had easily and almost disarmingly so masked the flicker of intense feeling on his face, of what the boy truly thought of him and it had unnerved him when the Connor demonstrated he could hide it well, especially in the presence of the loving vampire.
"What is it, Lorne?"
Lorne shook his head out of his thoughts. "I just..." He turned back to Angel. "I dont think he really likes me, Angelcakes."
But Angel only gave a small laugh. A humorless laugh. "Yeah, well, right about now, I dont think he really likes anybody, so Im feeling you on that one."
"No, I mean,..." He trailed off again seeing Angel raise questioning eyes to him then just gave up all together on the subject. A topic change was in order. "So...what was it that you couldnt tell me before?"
"The innocent," his pale face turned hard, "wasnt so innocent."
Lorne watched in curiosity as the dark-clothed man clenched his glass of red with unhindered anger. "A vampire?"
"No." A certain vampire hunter's lackey girlfriend, Angel thought with a scowl. "Justine."
"Oooooooh." And by the way his boss was carrying on, he had half a mind to think the vampire gave the woman that was indirectly responsible for the kidnapping of his son what had been coming to her the entire time.
Angel caught his look. "I almost wanted to, Lorne. For every part she played in Holtz taking Connor away from me, I almost turned around and left, seeing what was about to happen to her, but..." The woman was still human- an innocent. Lorne walked forward and patted the man's shoulder in a mixture of understanding and relief.
"You did the right thing. The GOOD thing. And she's gone now. Thats all that matters. Connor's back and safe and upstairs where you can finally be with him and watch over him-"
"-And protect him. I wont let anything happen to him again," the vampire's voice grew deeper as his dark eyes flared with remembering all that had happened. "But...he wont let me in." He shrugged off Lorne's still lingering comforting hand and walked towards the stairs, gazing up with a yearning he felt from the bottom of his unbeating heart. "I thought...I thought I was getting somewhere with him but he seems farther away from me now than when he was trying to KILL me, Lorne. No matter what I do, he just turns away and he wont even let me touch him." That was what hurt and bothered him the most. It wasnt just the randomness of brushing up against each other in the packed club or grabbing his arm to stop him from actually staking his own father, it was when he pushed and pushed to be let it. Only at that time, did his son shy away and not allow the vampire close. He had managed briefly to get past that and was shocked as well as happy when Connor allowed the contact finally in the bedroom, but...
Angel knew.
He knew what his son had done.
Connor had closed his eyes.
"He just has to get used to everything, Angelcakes. This is a whole new place for him and you just have to wait for him to realize you would never hurt him. I can feel he's trying to believe." At those words, Angel jerked his head back to stare at his friend, with wide hopeful eyes. He knew Lorne was a psychic through music being sung live to him, but he also knew the demon was somewhat empathic when it came to strong emotions. Lorne nodded, even more confirming it. "I can sense he wants to believe. And he doesnt hate you. He's very confused. I havent picked up on much, but when you guys walked in here earlier tonight, I felt he was only confused. That was it. You still have a chance to get through to him- he's only a child, after all. You havent lost him." He knew enough not to mention he indeed felt anger from the boy, but at the instant he felt it, he thought maybe it HAD been towards Angel, but seeing further the reaction his presence brought out, he knew different.
Maybe a little bit was towards the vampire, but almost all of it was directed towards HIM.
"You think?" Angel's smile was so hopeful. "You think I still have a chance?" He still knew he had no clue how to handle a child, especially one that was his own, after all, he never thought about practicing parenthood before, seeing how the possibility of offspring from vampires was something impossible, but he knew enough to know that even if the green man took back his words or things later changed within all their lives, he would never give up.
He would never give up on his son. He loved him too much.
After all, Connor was a MIRACLE given to him.
Lorne merely nodded, happy he had set in motion the man's inner strength yet again. "Yeah and he seems to have a little bit of your hard-headedness in-" His words dropped off as his eyes grew large. Angel looked at him questionably. "Lorne?" He got alarmed, though, as the demon's gaze directed up the stairs.
Lorne could feel it.
He could feel it all.
"Oh...my...God," he breathed out slowly, voice as quiet as the grave.
Fear
Terror
Betrayal
Pain
"Angel-" But he was interrupted suddenly from a loud scream upstairs, one filled with as much intense alarm as he felt from the man standing next to him.
The man now racing up the stairs like hellhounds were at his heels.
Angel could hear it now. Even before he got there, he could hear it. The thrashing, the whimpering, the cries of 'no' and 'stop', and the bed creaking under all of his panicked child's movements. He threw the door open in a frenzy, not even beholding the whole sight in front of him as he raced to Connor's side, already fully aware of what his precious boy was under.
A nightmare.
Connor was tossing and turning fitfully, his arms criss-crossing in the air and flailing about as if warding off an invisible attacker, and as Angel bent down to his level and grabbed his thin shoulders semi-roughly but firmly, the boy's rapid movements escalated and his screams started up again.
"Connor! CONNOR! Wake up! Wake up, son, wake up!" Angel held him down and shouted loudly, trying to be heard over the other's shrieks, but the boy continued, never waking up. Looking down, the vampire almost broke at the fear lacing over his sleeping son's face and bit back a growl of rage at whatever demons were attacking him in a place he couldnt enter. Not knowing what to do though, but not wanting to have him suffer any longer, Angel called out to Connor with something he'd surely respond to.
Something Angel was actually hoping the boy would react to, even though it sided with everything he was trying to make his son forget.
"Stephen...Stephen!" And as predicted, the boy bolted upwards, seeing nothing around him as he tried to come out of whatever he was in. He gasped out loudly, his eyes wide and blank, as he frantically tried to catch his breath, no longer making the sounds his father feared the most. But whimpering, he shook and finally blinked, looking around in front of him, disoriented.
Never turning to the other man in the room.
Seeing his chance, Angel leaned forward and tried to soothe, having dropped his hold quickly once the boy woke up.
Connor didnt like touch.
"Connor?"
The boy froze, finally realizing he wasnt alone. Eyes opening wider with fear, Connor slowly shifted his gaze towards the creature as if holding his breath and hoping it all wasnt real, giving a look that chilled Angel to the bone and would be imprinted in his mind and soul forever.
They stared at each other, one gaze worried and voice stuttering while the other was silent, having eyes growing larger and larger with quickly mounting horror.
"C-Connor? I-Its alright now. Im here. Nothing will hurt you here." He wanted to touch him, to hold him and comfort him, to be allowed to move closer and to be allowed to hope the boy would just throw away the inner demons tormenting him and fall safely into his arms, but...with the way his son was staring at him now, he knew...
He knew nothing was ever that easy.
With a small cry, Connor hurled his body off the bed, just as the other man was hesitantly reaching out to him, and backed away into a corner, sliding down when seeing he had chosen the wrong direction to run to. The bed and the vampire on the other side, now quickly standing up, was preventing his escape to the outside. He tried to huddle away even farther into the wall as the thing drew closer, recoiling as the movement didnt stop. The darkness finally closing in, he raised his head with a frantic gasp, truly believing any second now his life would be stolen from him, and searched the surrounding area for anything to defend himself with, as the monster reached out towards him yet again.
Angel saw the terror that was fleeting across the boy's face and, in anguish, realized all he must have been thinking and feeling, but reached out nevertheless, hoping atleast any reaction after was better than what he was witnessing already.
He kept his hand steady and body low as he spoke quietly. "Connor..." He was almost on his knees now in front of the shaking boy. "Connor, look at me, son. Youre not there anymore- youre here with me at the hotel. You came here willingly. This is the room you picked out to sleep in, dont you remember?" Now seeing some sort of reaction as if his words were slowly starting to sink in, he moved his arm nearer, merely a hair's-breath away now, ignoring the hurt that flared again when his son flinched away and instead, focused on bringing his son closer to truly waking up. "You had a bad dream, Connor," he informed in a calm voice, hoping it would do what it sounded like.
And seeing the boy blink, look around confused, then begin to relax as his breathing became somewhat normal again, the last inch disappeared and Angel's hand contacted with pale skin, caressing his Miracle's cheek.
But it was slapped away just as quickly as it connected.
"Dont touch me." Connor eyed him with a wary look.
"I-Im sorry," Angel apologized quickly, never looking away. He waited a minute for the boy to collect more of his bearings, noticing him surveying the room. "Do you remember now?" he asked quietly.
The boy nodded slowly after a second. "I remember."
"Are you...alright?"
A blank look. "...Yes."
Angel nodded, trying to accept that, as he stared at his boy. His hand ached, but not from the slap it had received.
It ached.
Just like he ached to touch his son again.
But he gave a small sigh instead, hearing it come out almost too loud in the sudden stillness of the dark room.
Then he heard a creak from behind and felt another presence.
Turning quickly, he gave another sigh, this one relieved though, as he saw who it was.
Lorne was standing in the doorway, looking nervous, his body halloed in yellow from the hallway light behind him.
"I was wondering what was..." Lorne trailed off and seeing him suddenly tense, his gaze elsewhere, Angel whirled back around to his son, silently questioning why.
And then he understood.
Connor was coiled like a ferocious animal spotting prey, his eyes practically sparking with fury, and with a strong blow from his arm, Angel was tossed to the side as if his weight was nothing to the thin wiry body shooting past.
"Demon!" Connor spat with venom, leaping, first, onto the bed then launching off with wound-up energy at the now frightened green man as Angel watched on from the floor, too shocked to do anything at all to stop it.
4444DADDYDADDYDADDYDADDYDADDYDADDYDADDY
(A/N): Yeah, Lorne's gonna die! Woohoo! Heh thanks 4 the reviews! XD Chapter 5 out probably Sunday kuz I just hafta check it and Im going 2 the beach with people and spending the night there later 2day (Saturday) so I wont have a computer with me. Getting a laptop next weekend, so I wont hav this problem...Damn, I feel like a nerd...heh. XD
