Fuck! I don't even know how I managed to drive here. I am sitting outside the funeral home. Wake the fuck up Darry!! This can't be real. This is just a bad dream. Sadly I can't convince myself out of the Harsh reality. I have to take a deep breath. I have to hold it together. There was no one else to deal with this.
I force myself out of the truck. Step! Now another! Now another! I have to urge myself to keep walking. As soon as I open the door a heavy weight hid my chest making it hard to breath. I take another deep breath. Keep control Darry! Finally I'm fully inside.
"Hi, you must be Darrell?" A voice comes from inside. Darry looks up at a Middle Aged man. He looked friendly enough, but holds unreadable expression.
"I am sir," I say reminding myself to speak. He walks over and shakes my hand. His shake is firm, but welcoming.
"Come this way," he tells me walking us to a office. Step! Step! Breath! Once inside the motions a chair for me to sit in.
I sit down. Stay strong! Your Superman! The constant reminders to myself were starting to piss me off. It's not fuckin fair I shouldn't have to be Superman.
"I'm sorry for your loss. Adam mentioned finances were a struggle. So let's start off by saying we do payment arrangements and discounts. Now you look fairly young. Do you have other siblings?" He asks.
"Yes sir. They are 16 and 13," I tell him. Of course, I don't have anyone else to help. Mr.Hunters face turned down fast.
"My gosh I'm so sorry," he tells me. I nod. I don't know how to reply.
"Well here is what I can do. We will not charge you for the funeral service it's self. I'll charge you our coat for caskets, a discount on the plot, and the burial fee. I can't reduce that as the city is the ones who dig the graves," he explains. "But your cost will be on payment plan. "
Fuck! How did my life turn to this overnight! I'm beyond grateful for the help but why are we here?
"That is much appreciated," I tell him. It's the truth. I never wanted to be here. Not this young.
"So for both I can get you out for 175 dollars. " he tells me. Fuck I don't make that much. But it's better then I thought.
"I have twenty I put towards it now," I tell him. He nods. Got to find a full time job. Job! Brothers! Parents! Dead!
We finished up the paper work. I'm surprised I could even make sense. My mind won't stop rushing in thoughts. It seemed like hours later when the man shook my hand bidding me a farewell.
"Wait! Can I see my parents?" I ask unsure. I'm not confident in this but something in me needs to see them.
"Are you sure? " he asks. I nod. Of course I ain't sure! I'm not sure of anything.
"Follow me. " he tells me. I force myself to follow behind him. We came to the back room. He opened the door and inside were two beds with a body covered with sheets. My stomach knotted. I know who laid there.
"I'll leave you alone," he tells me walking out and shutting the door. I stood frozen staring at the two tables. I slowly walk to the first table. I study the sheet. Towards the top I can see some of my moms hair sticking out matter with blood.
I suddenly feel dizzy and nauseated. This can't be real! That can't be the most beautiful lady in the whole world laying under that blue sheet. I take a sharp breath as I slowly move the sheet away from my mom there face. I'm horrified by the site. My moms face is pale. She looks almost ghost like. Dark bruising and swelling around her right eye and lips stick out. Her brown eyes lifeless. I feel tears trying to spill.
You fuckin idiot!! You have to be strong! You can't cry. Your the strong one. You can't be a cry baby! I keep reminding myself.
I uncover her more so I can touch her hand one last time. Her hands were stiff and ice cold. I wish for nothing more then another time to hug her close. I can't handle seeing my mom like this anymore, and carefully pull the sheets back up.
"Sorry mama. " I tell her as I recover her face. The face that held a soft smile daily my whole life. Now a face I'll never see again.
I slowly walked over to my dad. I was close to my mom, but my dad was my best friend. We were always together. I uncovered my dad. As I did sickness hit me. I reached over for the trash bin hurling inside.
My dads neck had been broke on the crash and you could tell from way his head layers. He had slivers of glass embedded in his body. He had blood smears on him and tons of bruising and up cuts. One even revealing bone. His dads nose was crooked and check bones looked strange. Never in all my thought did I think of see him this bad off. He took a bad hit.
"If I were you I'd do a closed caskets," rang in my head. I now knew why. I threw the sheet back over him not able to see anymore. I quickly got out of the room. I think I made a mistake. Once out of the room I calmed myself. I was okay. I'm strong. I put on my game face and headed to the truck. I barely gave them a goodbye nod. I get in my truck and drive. I just drove blaring my rock and roll.
I should head home but I can't. I'm to weak right now. Be a man! Toughen up. I tell myself.
I had to pull over into a store parking lot as images of my dad kept seeping in his mind. The images haunting me. I knew I'd have nightmares.
I decided to do the only thing he knew to do to calm his nerves. He drove to his gym. First thing I did was turn on a treadmill, and turn the speed up and run. D
I ran on that treadmill until he hit ten miles. Normally I go at a more steady pace, but not today. I needed to feel the workout. Darry moved on to weight lifting. He worked out his arms and then his legs. After leaving the leg area he moved to his abs. I was enjoying the feeling of my muscles burning through my body. The pain helped mask the emotional pain.
Once I finished my abs a walked another two miles on the treadmill to cool down. As I finished up and headed back to the truck I felt stronger!!
I was able to drive home and handle my brothers better with my emotions in check. When I walked in my house everyone was in the living room but it was silent. You could hear every word from the tv which is abnormal.
I hated the dreaded feeling in this house. Soda beckoned for me to meet him in the kitchen. I walked out of the room and he followed.
"Dar, while you were gone a man and women showed up, and left a number for you to contact them. Said they were from the Department of Human Services. Dar, that can't be good," Soda says with his voice cracking at the end. I hug him close.
"I'll figure it out Pepsi ," I promise my brothers. It was a promise I planned to keep. Soda nods looking up at me with a sad smile before he goes back to his baby brother.
I grab the phone and head to my bedroom. I call the number that was on a card by the phone. It was for a Mr.Andrews.
It rang three times before it was picked up. "Hello," the voice on the other line came.
"Hello, my name is Darrell Curtis," I tell him. "Jr," I quickly added knowing they are official people.
"Yes, Mr.Curtis we were coming by on behalf of Sodapop and …… ponyboy curtis," he said pausing at the boys names.
"Yes sir they are my kid brothers," I tell him.
"We are reaching out trying to locate extended family to take the boys in and we have been unsuccessful in our search. Do you know other relatives or we may have to looking a boys home," he tells Darry.
" We don't but my brothers are staying right here with me," I tell him coldly. First thing this dumbass does is spout off about sending my brothers away. No fucking way!
"Mr.Curtis do you realize how much responsibility that would be? Your only 20 you should be out living your life," he tells me.
"Sir I know what it's like. I'm the only one left no way in hell is someone else raising my brothers. They already lost both parents they don't need to loose anything else. " I snap.
"Well Soda seeing he is 16 sure but what about ponyboy. He is still young and needs more attention," he tells me.
"Are you serious? You think he will be better off living with strangers? You think that will benefit him? " I say in a strained voice trying to keep from being a dick. I know we will have to play stupid games with these dumb ass people. I mean who the fuck starts this the night after they loose their parents?
"Well we will meet next week and start going over expectations if you want to have the boys. Until then call if you need us," the guy tells me before hanging up.
Money. Food. Bills. Fuck! Duck! Fuck! Funeral. Soda. Pony. Job. How the fuck did this happen? I grab the phone calling my boss.
" Hey Darrell how can I help you?" Michael greets over the phone.
"I need to see if I can get moved to full time. Also I need a couple days off ," I tell him. I knew I can't miss much.
"What days? " he asks. I have a funeral at 4 on Thursday. I can work Monday through Wednesday but need off or to leave early Thursday. Possibly a few more days or half days for meetings and court," I tell him.
"What kind of trouble you in son. Court don't sound like a good thing. " he tells me.
"My parents died last night and I'm going to file to keep my brothers. So the meeting and court are about them," I tell him. My boss is a good person.
"Well boy you know we been itching for you to go full time. You can start that Monday. We can work out hours and time off as needed. Just be here Monday at 6 in the morning. We are starting that job off memorial." He tells me.
"Thanks sir. I appreciate it. " I tell him.
"I'm sorry for your loss. Your dad would be proud. We will sure miss Darrell sr," he tells me. My dad worked for them too. I hadn't even thought of notifying them. My mom was a stay at home mom. She looked after us kids.
"Thanks ," I tell him.
"I'll notify the office staff. And I'll put out the funeral date for other people to attend if that's fine.
"Yes sir, " I tell him.
"See you soon," he tells me hanging up. Okay, job is taken care of. Funeral is handled. Now it's just the boys. The only good part for me right now are those two.
Notes: Sorry for it being shorter. I am currently doing this all on my phone. I have not updated this and for that I'm sorry. I'm going to try and update more often and finish the story. Truth be told not sure where exactly I plan to take it yet. Thanks
